u/radgedyann

what if it’s just the result of constantly fighting for a life that doesnt suck; that isn’t full of struggle? my life has been full of trauma, pain, and lack of safety and security since before birth really, when i was bathed in my abused mom’s cortisol. i spent my childhood in fear and have spent my adulthood in daily physical pain while trying to find some degree of security and to be able to connect with others. but i don’t think i’m actually capable of that. and i think my depression comes from this constant reach for better that, at this point, i suspect isn’t in the cards for me. i’m starting to wonder what just blatant acceptance of misery might look like. not hoping or wanting, but just sort of sitting down in the morass that is my life and running out the clock. it’s not living, no. but i’ve never really had that.

And what are they doing with our dues money? Do they distribute patient information handouts free of charge? Because I’ve been buying the ones I distribute. I’d love to see some advocacy for better pay and job security for us, the lowest-paid specialty year over year. Or more free education/resources for members.

Hello, I hope this is allowed.

I will be working nights in hospital and am hoping to find a relatively quiet apartment, ideally:
-1BR but could do a well-laid out studio; -assigned, secure, parking;
-area safe enough for a single woman (who worked in inner city Chicago and Atlanta) to drive to work at night,
-clean (ie minimal pest problems), and
-within 30 minutes of Abbott Northwestern.

I know that no apartment building will be silent during the day, but I’m hoping to avoid paper-thin walls if possible.

I will be in Minneapolis a lot for art, music, sports, etc; and I do enjoy the outdoors.

Either city is fine since twin cities traffic seems relatively tame compared to what I’n used to (raised in Chicago, moving from Atlanta.)

I’m an admitted NPR addict and have been since childhood—more than 40 years of starting my days with NPR and ending with the BBC or CBC or whatever else I stumbled upon on shortwave, traveling the world through a slowly-turned dial. I asked for a membership for Christmas every year starting when I was 8!🤓 So I’m a loyalist.

I’m still struggling with the tenor of WeSun. The voice, the atmosphere, they’re just grating on my nerves. My Sunday mornings are just not the same. Give me my official curmudgeon stamp I guess. I’ve tried to find alternatives—On Being, CBCs morning show, a podcast—but nothing hits quite the same. Most days I just get up and turn on BookTV in the living room. I still check every week, and do a little dance when there’s a guest host. Am I the only one? What are others listening to?

What if I can’t do it?!?!?!

I feel silly asking, but here goes. I really want to study in an atelier like Academy of Realist Art, but I cannot for the life of me sharpen pencils manually! I have arthritis in my hands and just can’t get a good enough grip, even on my Olfa. It doesn’t affect my ability to draw and paint for hours (albeit with some discomfort.) Does anyone use 2mm lead in holders instead of wooden pencils? This is what I’ve been using in my own practice.

eta: Thank you all for your help! I feel much better about doing what I need to in order to focus on the work on the easel.
I mentioned below, but I wanted to mention here also that I just ordered an afmat long point manual sharpener at the rec of a friend that gives pretty long, thick points. I don’t know if links are allowed, but it’s on the big A retailer.

I’m hoping for smashed patties, plenty of grease. Great fries would be a bonus, but the burger takes priority. Recs?

eta: thank so much for so many recs! i can’t wait to start trying places!!!

I work for an employer as an ‘at will’ employee. It would seem that I can be dismissed with or without cause, and without notice. How much notice should I give them as a courtesy when I move on to another job?

Hi all,
I’m moving to town in a few months. I will be attending the art school at Hennepin and Stinson. The area looked a bit more industrial when I visited, except for a big corn field which was pretty cool to see.

I was wondering if there might be housing in the area, specifically ‘less refined’ lofts? Or anywhere else in the cities? I lived in one in Oakland years ago and would love to find something similar. Most of the lofts I see online (I think the area is called North Loop?) look like extensively renovated modern condo-y lofts aimed at higher income folks. I found one building catering to artists, but it’s full looks like.

I just thought I’d ask since I’m not local.
tia!

why doesn’t anyone make leave-ins that are fragrance free? most of them actually make me nauseated. i’ve been using shea moisture kids detangler and leave-in conditioning milk for years, but true-to-form, unilever discontinued it. my coils just love this combo, and the very light smell dissipates in minutes.

i’m fighting a losing battle to find a product whose fragrance i can tolerate that works for my hair. i have wasted so much money trying new products. (well i guess not wasted. a local shelter accepts them as donations, so hopefully someone can use them.)

does anyone have a favorite, low-odor, light leave-in? or a hook-up for the last of the shea moisture product? i’m down to my last bottles!

And if so, how in god’s name do you do it without reacting to the tragedeighs? Do you mask? Avoid it entirely? I would love to be a fly on the wall in the teachers’ lounge! I work in healthcare and am still masking because I cannot trust hiding my reactions!

Is anyone’s clinic closed on Friday but open on Saturday the 4th? Not an urgent care, but just a regular, Monday-Saturday family medicine clinic? My friend works for one. I didn’t believe it until he showed me his open schedule. Why not just let people go to the ED? Who’s going to schedule their annual pap or well-child visit on the 4th of July? The firework finger amputations have to go to the ED anyway!

Has anyone quit full-time w2 work to do locums only? This job is slowly killing me, and I’m looking for a way out. I figure being willing to do hospital/call in less-than-desirable locales will minimize the total amount of work I need to do each year.

I’ve zeroed out my debt, have no dependents, and will sell everything. I have a little 4-season trailer towable by my suv, and several places to park it around the country. But am also considering a couple of towns in Mexico. I want to work just enough to pay for basic expenses and the freedom to be outside, read library books, and breathe.

My biggest questions remaining:

-healthcare: Did you manage with a marketplace plan despite moving around? I imagine that I’ll need to pick a domicile state (don’t know the proper term) and try to get most care there. I’ll need it until I’m eligible for Medicare in another 15 years. The private option in Mexico available to temporary residents also looks pretty reasonable.

-taxes: Did you handle 1099 income your own? Sending the IRS a check every month and hoping it all balances out at the end of the year.

I’d also just love to hear about personal experiences and resources you might like to share. DMs open!

Hi all! I have 48 hours on the ground in two weeks and am coming from a hometown which has, well, no good food. These are the things I most miss: jollof rice (I will not debate which country makes it best, lol; i’ll gladly eat whatever someone’s auntie is stewing up in the kitchen); and homestyle hunan and sichuan cooking.

What are your recs?

I’m also excited about moving to the twin cities,

and praying that I nail my interview in a couple of weeks!🙏🏾

I know that this isn’t particular to women, but this group is so supportive. I am struggling with food. I responded to a recent post about getting protein in with the strategies that have worked for me in recent years. But in recent weeks, seemingly without trigger, I am struggling with finding anything acceptable when it’s time to eat. My usual strategy at mealtime is to run through options in my head until something sounds good and then eat that. Now nothing really sounds good! Sometimes I just drink a soda or juice for lunch so at least I have those (empty) calories. I don’t feel sick in any way, no pain or other changes, just like someone swiped my appetite. No, more like I’m hungry and know it’s time to eat, but everything I see or think of makes me nauseated.

Has anyone struggled with similar? I’ve made an appointment, but I’m a bigger woman, so I’m not likely to get anything but congrats on the weight loss because fat phobia is real.

Who has otoro that you trust?

just that. has anyone found an alternative? i’m just learning (without a teacher), so don’t have longterm experience, but gamsol makes me feel sick. i use safflower oil for cleaning between paint, and plain soap for deep brush cleaning. i’ve been toning canvas with thinned out acrylic paint. but don’t know what to use for laying in a painting, like the initial shapes that i will then paint over. (sorry if i’m not using the right terminology.)

things i’ve tried so far:

solvent free liquid and gel

michael harding miracle medium 0 and 1

rublev oleogel

it could be that i’m using them incorrectly, but all lead to me slip-sliding all over the canvas when i tried to paint over them. maybe i used to much?

i haven’t been using medium for painting after the lay-in. i’ve been doing all of my studies in one sitting.

i appreciate any advice.

I was diagnosed with Aspergers in college. I have mostly hidden it; or tried to, or thought I was, but not very well it seems. I work as a physician. Now at 50, after I asked about a diagnosis in this post-aspergers world, my therapist has diagnosed me with level 2 autism, and I feel, well, shocked. I know intellectually that it’s accurate. It is really hard for me to do life the way I see others do it. My ex partners would all agree that I need more support than I admit, especially after a full shift of trying to mask. They’re all exes for a reason I guess. But I don’t know, I feel a little hopeless, like it’s too late or not possible for me to have a normal life or healthy romantic relationship, I don’t know. I know I should be encouraged-like, yes, people with autism can do anything, be successful, etc. But also, have I been successful? Sure I have a career, but it exhausts me, and the things that bring joy—friendship, love, connection—I can’t get those things right, after a lifetime of trying. I’m not sure what I’m saying except that today feels more devastating and hopeless than I expected. Sorry this is long.

i’m a beginner and am really struggling to see the value of colors! i am getting so much easier at seeing values/transitions in greys, but aside from the most extremes,ie lemon yellow is a lighter value than ultramarine blue, i really struggle. i’m watching a recorded course online and the teacher is just masterfully mixing various colors by value, but i don’t really see it until i put my phone camera in grey scale and look at the video that way.

is there a resource, ie a chart or book reference that lists color by value? ie this red is value X, that green is value Y? i’m wondering if practicing with such a reference available will help learn to see better.

eta: is this why i see some artists online looking through their phones at a painting while they work? are they ‘checking their work’ if you will, to be sure that their colors/values read correctly?

Can I get trail recommendations for solo hiking in the area from Anchorage to Hatcher Pass. It clears my head better when I don’t have to worry about group dynamics. I’d like to go alone while minimizing my risk of a bear encounter (if that’s not an oxymoron.) I don’t have a dog.

I’ve been watching a hiker on youtube who hikes alone and doesn’t seem to encounter more than the occasional moose or ptarmigan. But I tend to have bad luck, lol. I’ve got the essentials including spray; can’t shoot, but can holler. I think a bell might drive me crazy.

I guess sunny weekend days will be best if we get any, but which trails would you suggest or caution against?

Thanks in advance!