u/rizzitv

Everywhere I go. I was just at Home Depot and it reminded me of when we went looking at paint to get the colors right for our first house together and what that whole process was like. Similar this weekend when I was on a trip to a place we’ve been together. How do you deal with this?

She moved out last Friday and it's been horrible. I guess in the end it was mutual, but it was more me bringing up unmet needs or concerns and our inability to work on them together that sunk us. We tried counseling and other avenues. We both put so much into the house via different projects and ideas. All was financed by me, but still. I'm still living in the house. I never had her pay me for rent or mortgage in those years. But the guilt of using the chairs out back or the projector we worked to set up in the bedroom while she has moved into a studio apartment and feeling like she has lost everything is consuming me, and knowing that she is there hurting is killing me too. I'm helping her upfront financially but yea it's just a lot of guilt and pain. I have a free Saturday here and feel guilty 'enjoying' the house. Any advice would be great. Thanks

She moved out last Friday and it's been horrible. I guess in the end it was mutual, but it was more me bringing up unmet needs or concerns and our inability to work on them together that sunk us. We tried counseling and other avenues. We both put so much into the house via different projects and ideas. All was financed by me, but still. I'm still living in the house. I never had her pay me for rent or mortgage in those years. But the guilt of using the chairs out back or the projector we worked to set up in the bedroom while she has moved into a studio apartment and feeling like she has lost everything is consuming me, and knowing that she is there hurting is killing me too. I'm helping her upfront financially but yea it's just a lot of guilt and pain. I have a free Saturday here and feel guilty 'enjoying' the house. Any advice would be great. Thanks

She moved out on Friday and it’s been horrible. Things just didn’t work. I guess in the end it was mutual, but it was more me bringing up unmet needs or concerns and our inability to work on them together that sunk us. We tried counseling and other avenues. I’m still living in the house (technically my house) that we designed and did projects on and such together. I never had her pay me for any mortgage or rent, ever. The guilt of using the chairs out back or the big TV in the bedroom while she has moved into a studio apartment is consuming me, and knowing that she is there hurting is killing me too. I’m helping her upfront financially but yea it’s just a lot of guilt and pain. Any advice would be great. Thanks

I’m feeling so hurt by our breakup and going through such bad withdrawals and disbelief that this is where we are given where we were and what we were capable of. All I can think about are the good things. Anyone have any recommendations on dealing with this piece of it? Thanks

She moved out on Friday and it’s been horrible. I guess in the end it was mutual, but it was more me bringing up unmet needs or concerns and our inability to work on them together that sunk us. We tried counseling and other avenues. I’m still living in the house (technically my house) that we designed and did projects on and such together. The guilt of using the chairs out back or the big TV while she has moved into a studio apartment is consuming me, and knowing that she is there hurting is killing me too. I’m helping her upfront financially but yea it’s just a lot of guilt and pain. Any advice would be great. Thanks

This probably doesn't belong on the internet, but I feel I need to share our love and my pain somewhere. I've removed some names / pet names and things personal to just us

"Tonight is one of the worst nights of my life. First Saturday apart and I’m home alone and it is hitting me horribly. We are apart. I'm in the house that we shared, where only ghosts linger now. You're in your new apartment. I am missing all of the good things. I just listened to voicemails you had left me from 2021-2024 and they tore me apart. You had so much love to give to me. I miss being loved by you and I miss you deeply. You would call me to check on me for no good reason and just to make sure I was good and to try and make my day better. Our hearts were, and still are, so connected.

My love. My girl. Holy shit. And our beloved cat too. Just gone. Fuck. Us 3 together. A family and a life and a home. Gone.

You said to me yesterday morning when I walked out of here for the last time before you moved out and the place was all packed up, and we hugged and cried and kind of said goodbye to any hope of this as it was, that ‘we deserved so much better.’ And I couldn’t help but agree, given all the love and support and care that we have given to each other. It’s so hard to believe that this is where we are. It's so hard.

All of the good times. It is killing me to look back on them. I feel tortured by it. Your first apartment. Our first place living together. Getting the cat. Concerts. Date nights. First trip to ___. Chess. Guess Who. Anniversaries. Birthdays. In-state getaways. We were magical. We were so so magical. 

It's so crushing."

Looks like they're only selling the kids sizes now, and other sites don't have it up either. Waited way too long...any idea where I can buy?

We split and she’s moving out on Friday with our cat. Overall a great relationship but some incompatibilities long term. But she was still my best friend and someone I loved dearly. The pain is so acute right now. We ended on a good note and the door is still a bit open which makes it all the more confusing I feel like. But I’m really struggling with it. I’m going to miss her terribly come Saturday. I miss being happy with her so badly.

Going through an awful breakup. I've seen Daniel 3 times and they're all incredible, but never seen him do a b2b and not too familiar with Sultan + Shepard. Any ideas what we can expect? love to all

Hi everyone - I’m just having such a hard time. It’s my first relationship and for a long time it was good with a lot of love and support and care and laughter, but things just aren’t working for us now, for a while now, and it feels like we’re at the end of the line, or beyond it. It’s been really hard on both of us. We’re both really hurting. We’ve tried to ‘fix it’ so many times and I think it’s only highlighted how far apart we are on some fundamental things, yet I still have hope that another ‘fix it’ attempt could get us back to great even though I know it to not be true.

How do you 1) not let the past stop you from letting go and 2) move forward and keep the reasons for breaking up front of mind and not romanticize about all of the good times? I’m also wondering how you finally give up the hope that it will be great again so that you both can move forward and be free. Neither of us seem to be able to let go. I have been so back and forth on ending things due to the past and it’s made this so difficult.

Thanks for any advice.

Going through some shit and would love to see a show along the lines of Above & Beyond, Lane 8, something like that - those have been the shows that have moved me most. I have tickets for some of the upcoming Lane 8 shows and am excited, but wondering if anyone has any recs of shows in the more immediate term. Thank you so much in advance

Hi everyone - I really need some help. 5 years together and it’s fallen apart. She is genuinely such a sweet girl who never deserved this. My needs have changed. Just not on the same page long term, different places in life, priorities, etc. I’ve offered to help financially because I can, but I feel so much guilt. She’s put so much love and care into the home. Technically it’s mine and I haven’t had her help with the mortgage for the 3 years we’ve lived here.

It is so heartbreaking to know that she is looking at small apartments that will take up half of her salary for her and the cat. And then all you hear about is how everything is so expensive these days and I’m genuinely worried for her future financially…she has family and would likely be OK, but I feel a lot of guilt and stress around it.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. This whole thing has been horrible over the last few months, and to me this is one of the hardest parts of it to reconcile with.

I’m so, so drained. Crying a lot and our breakup has been drawn out over a few months now. I’m exhausted and feel like a shell of myself physically. Is this normal? Do you rebound?

Anyone have any like, success stories? Because this is horrible, and I feel like I won’t ever be happy in that way with anyone ever again.

I’ve lost a parent and I think this pain is worse. She’s moving out end of the month. Things just didn’t work in the end. All I can think about are the good things and none of the reasons why we fell apart. I don’t feel like I’ll find anything as good as her, despite our issues. I miss her already and we’re still under the same roof, but it isn’t salvageable. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

The joke they would’ve made in that moment, the way they do this or that, the way they’d riff on you…that’s been the hardest part to let go of for me

Um yea. 4 year relationship ending and this is all I’ve listened to since it released. Hits different when you’re going through it I suppose. Tell me I’m not alone!