u/seapunkprincess

A while ago I asked for advice on how to get our 5 year old to fall asleep without us having to lie with her till her sleeps. And I got lots of good advice and anecdotes.

So we have started to implement it and it’s going terribly. We will read to her and cuddle her for a bit longer. Then we leave and will do check ins at increasing intervals.

But she is the strongest willed child I know. She will just wait for us, scream the whole time, or continually come out of her room. If she comes out before a check in, I just walk her right back without saying anything. Last night she was up till midnight (her normal bedtime is 8pm) and she had bloodshot eyes and was obviously so exhausted but just refused to sleep. Finally she went to sleep when my partner sat on her bed with her patting her back and singing to her. Tonight she didn’t get to sleep until 11pm and that was cause she waited till we wanted to go to bed (and kept coming out of her room to check if we were going to sleep yet). And then she came into our bed. And at that point we were both so exhausted and at a loss of what to do that we just let it happen.

I need advice. This has been going on for a week and it’s just getting worse and worse everyday. It feels like torture and everyone in the house is so exhausted.

A while ago I asked for advice on how to get our 5 year old to fall asleep without us having to lie with her till her sleeps. And I got lots of good advice and anecdotes.

So we have started to implement it and it’s going terribly. We will read to her and cuddle her for a bit longer. Then we leave and will do check ins at increasing intervals.

But she is the strongest willed child I know. She will just wait for us, scream the whole time, or continually come out of her room. If she comes out before a check in, I just walk her right back without saying anything. Last night she was up till midnight (her normal bedtime is 8pm) and she had bloodshot eyes and was obviously so exhausted but just refused to sleep. Finally she went to sleep when my partner sat on her bed with her patting her back and singing to her. Tonight she didn’t get to sleep until 11pm and that was cause she waited till we wanted to go to bed (and kept coming out of her room to check if we were going to sleep yet). And then she came into our bed. And at that point we were both so exhausted and at a loss of what to do that we just let it happen.

I need advice. This has been going on for a week and it’s just getting worse and worse everyday. It feels like torture and everyone in the house is so exhausted.

I am currently 32 weeks pregnant so it’s coming up fast. My 5 year old daughter has been very excited but today she cried to me that she is scared I won’t give her as much attention, that there is too much change, and she wanted me to promise her I’ll love her more than the baby. I cuddled her while she cried and validated that change is really hard. I told her I felt similarly when my brother was born but look how much fun we have together now. I also told her that love grows and there is room for me to love everyone, but that she will always be my first.

I was so proud of her for talking to me about these feelings and acknowledging the fear she is having. I know postpartum and adjusting to 2 children will be a process and the reality is she will get less attention from me initially as I am breastfeeding, putting baby to nap, etc. So my question is for parents of kids with bigger age gaps: was there anything you did or wish you did to make your older one feel included and special during that transition?

Some ideas I have are to pick a special audiobook we can listen to together when I’m breastfeeding (she loves chapter books). Or get a fun once a month activity subscription box that can be just for us and my partner can watch baby while we do it.

So my daughter is 5 years old and we have always cuddled till she falls asleep. Our routine is get ready for bed, 30 min of reading, and then cuddle with her till she falls asleep, then we leave. In the middle of the night if she gets up she walks over to our room and will tuck herself in bed with us. It has mostly worked for our family but is starting to feel like there is no end in sight, especially as we have another one on the way. I have zero clue where to begin with introducing independent sleep. I would love all your suggestions. I’m only interested in gentle approaches. I’d also love to hear if anyone has a similar situation and how it turned out.

So my daughter is 5 years old and we have always cuddled till she falls asleep. Our routine is get ready for bed, 30 min of reading, and then cuddle with her till she falls asleep, then we leave. In the middle of the night if she gets up she walks over to our room and will tuck herself in bed with us. It has mostly worked for our family but is starting to feel like there is no end in sight, especially as we have another one on the way. I have zero clue where to begin with introducing independent sleep. She has sleep apnea so it’s very important she gets to sleep on time, but anytime we have tried some version of independent sleep bed time is delayed by 3+ hours. I would love all your suggestions. I’m only interested in gentle approaches. I’d also love to hear if anyone has a similar situation.

My partner and I have realized we need to put more time and energy into our relationship. It’s easy for that to go neglected when you’re in the midsts of parenting young kids. So we have decided to do once a week at home date nights after kids go to bed. I’d love to hear some suggestions of what we can do besides watch movies and play board games. Looking for some more creative options to be some more fun into our lives. Also would love your opinions on if a backyard fire is okay while kids are asleep (with a baby monitor on of course).

Okay so I am currently entering my third trimester and really starting to prep. For context I was a doula for a number of years, believe strongly in herbal medicine, while also relying on science/modern medicine. I am planning a unmedicated birth so I put together a bunch of recipes I plan to make in the coming weeks to have for birth and postpartum. My chosen plants/herbs are based off of their medicine qualities but also some of the symbolic associations with them. It’s very extensive, but I’m so excited to started making everything so I wanted to share.

Homemade massage oil for labour:

• Ginger (warming, anti-inflammatory, soothes pain, increase potential for success, supports connection to the present moment)
• Yarrow (courage, herb of the wounded healer, protection during liminal experiences)
• Red raspberry (feminine energy, connect to earths energies, protective over fruits of labour)
• Nettle (when needing grit, getting through hard things)
• Linden (Anxiety reducing, trust, surrender, gentleness, allowing)
• Lavender (Relaxation, anti-inflammatory, rest)
• Calendula (skin soothing, anti-inflammatory, bringing in the sunlight, resilience)

Homemade Marshmallows for labour for a quick protein and sugar boost:

• Marshmallow root (supports gut flora, nurturing, softening)
• Beef gelatine (protein)
• Collagen powder
• Honey (for a sugar boost, positivity, affirmations)
• Seasalt
• Vanilla

An all purpose salve I can use on my perineum to soften and prep, as a diaper cream, nipple cream, baby acne, etc.

• Calendula (good for skin, positivity, warmth)
• Marshmallow root (cooling, anti-inflammatory, nurturing)
• Linden (moisturizing, protects mucous membrane, cooling)

A symbolic floor cleanse before my due date to get my house ready to welcome another baby

• White clover flowers (protective of the home, blessing the space, harmony)
• Calendula (to answer the call, strengthening healthy ego, welcoming light, resilience)
• Heather (new beginners, guardians of thresholds, rites of passage, domestic tranquility)
• Lemon balm (Clarity, renewal, protection, boosts confidence, playfulness, open up to receiving love, joy, comfort, calming the spirit)
• Lavender (Peace in the home, gentle transition, rest, calm)
• Rosemary (inviting ancestral wisdom, protection)

Tea blend for third trimester:

• Red Raspberry (uterine toning, prepare for birth, cooling, protection over fruits of labours, The Empress, generations of women)
• Green tea (l-theanine, grounding)
• Linden (reducing, softening, trust)
• Apple (love, connection to otherworlds, harmony, health, wellbeing)
• Lemon balm (Calming, Joy, Confidence, Receiving love)
• Rose petals (love, opening the heart, welcoming baby)

Warm tea for labour

• All spice (courage and strength in adversity, increase energy, light a fire within)
• Ginger (nausea, anti-inflammatory, managing pain, increase potential, active in here and now)
• Apple (love, connection to otherworlds, harmony, health, wellbeing)
• Cinnamon (raise spiritual vibrations, warmth, vitality, celebration)

Iced tea for labour

• Red raspberry (uterine toning, prepare for birth, cooling, protection over fruits of labours)
• Cornflower (psychic travel, prepare for spiritual journey)
• Nettle (iron, get up and mobilize energy, getting through hard things, needing grit, crone energy)
• Linden flower (reducing Anxiety, easing tension)
• Mint (digestion, cooling, success)
• Lemon balm (boosts confidence, relaxation, giving and receiving love)

Teas for postpartum

• Milk Thistle (mother bear energy, breast milk production, increase vitality)
• Nettle
• Red Raspberry
• Linden
• Lemonbalm
• Rose (tranquility, feminine, emotional recovery)
• Oatstraw (nutritive, rebuilding, nourishment)

Postpartum herbal sitz bath:

• Yarrow (stop bleeding, anti-inflammatory, antiseptive, uterine hormone regulation, courage, healing)
• Comfrey (wound healing, felt sense of safety, soul retrieval after a spiritual journey)
• Marshmallow root (cooling, soothing)
• Linden (soothing, calming, gentleness, rest)
• Calendula (Skin soothing, restore energy and vitality)
• Shepherds purse (postpartum support, anti-hemmorage, supports pelvic floor weakness, preservation)
• Uva Ursi (inner strength, support for urinary tract, healthy inflammatory response, mother bear energy)
• Seasalt and epsom salts

Herbal healing bone broth for postpartum

• Bones (unsure if chicken or beef would be better)
• Roast garlic
• Tumeric
• Black pepper
• Ginger
• Nettle
• Apple Cider Vinegar
• Rosemary
• Thyme
• Onion
• Celery
• Bay leaf
• Carrots

Okay so I am currently entering my third trimester and really starting to prep. For context I was a doula for a number of years, believe strongly in herbal medicine, while also relying on science/modern medicine. I am planning a unmedicated birth so I put together a bunch of recipes I plan to make in the coming weeks to have for birth and postpartum. My chosen plants/herbs are based off of their medicine qualities but also their magical qualities and my personal associations with them. It’s very extensive, but I would love feedback, advice, or anything I’m missing/overlooking! Thanks!

Homemade massage oil for labour:

• Ginger (warming, anti-inflammatory, soothes pain, increase potential for success, supports connection to the present moment)
• Yarrow (courage, herb of the wounded healer, protection during liminal experiences)
• Red raspberry (feminine energy, connect to earths energies, protective over fruits of labour)
• Nettle (when needing grit, getting through hard things)
• Linden (Anxiety reducing, trust, surrender, gentleness, allowing)
• Lavender (Relaxation, anti-inflammatory, rest)
• Calendula (skin soothing, anti-inflammatory, bringing in the sunlight, resilience)

Homemade Marshmallows for labour for a quick protein and sugar boost:

• Marshmallow root (supports gut flora, nurturing, softening)
• Beef gelatine (protein)
• Collagen powder
• Honey (for a sugar boost, positivity, affirmations)
• Seasalt
• Vanilla

An all purpose salve I can use on my perineum to soften and prep, as a diaper cream, nipple cream, baby acne, etc.

• Calendula (good for skin, positivity, warmth)
• Marshmallow root (cooling, anti-inflammatory, nurturing)
• Linden (moisturizing, protects mucous membrane, cooling)

A symbolic floor cleanse before my due date to get my house ready to welcome another baby

• White clover flowers (protective of the home, blessing the space, harmony)
• Calendula (to answer the call, strengthening healthy ego, welcoming light, resilience)
• Heather (new beginners, guardians of thresholds, rites of passage, domestic tranquility)
• Lemon balm (Clarity, renewal, protection, boosts confidence, playfulness, open up to receiving love, joy, comfort, calming the spirit)
• Lavender (Peace in the home, gentle transition, rest, calm)
• Rosemary (inviting ancestral wisdom, protection)

Tea blend for third trimester:

• Red Raspberry (uterine toning, prepare for birth, cooling, protection over fruits of labours, The Empress, generations of women)
• Green tea (l-theanine, grounding)
• Linden (reducing, softening, trust)
• Apple (love, connection to otherworlds, harmony, health, wellbeing)
• Lemon balm (Calming, Joy, Confidence, Receiving love)
• Rose petals (love, opening the heart, welcoming baby)

Warm tea for labour

• All spice (courage and strength in adversity, increase energy, light a fire within)
• Ginger (nausea, anti-inflammatory, managing pain, increase potential, active in here and now)
• Apple (love, connection to otherworlds, harmony, health, wellbeing)
• Cinnamon (raise spiritual vibrations, warmth, vitality, celebration)

Iced tea for labour

• Red raspberry (uterine toning, prepare for birth, cooling, protection over fruits of labours, Empress)
• Cornflower (psychic travel, prepare for spiritual journey)
• Nettle (iron, get up and mobilize energy, getting through hard things, needing grit, crone energy)
• Linden flower (reducing Anxiety, easing tension)
• Mint (digestion, cooling, success)
• Lemon balm (boosts confidence, relaxation, giving and receiving love)

Teas for postpartum

• Milk Thistle (mother bear energy, breast milk production, increase vitality)
• Nettle
• Red Raspberry
• Linden
• Lemonbalm
• Rose (tranquility, feminine, emotional recovery)
• Oatstraw (nutritive, rebuilding, nourishment)

Postpartum herbal sitz bath:

• Yarrow (stop bleeding, anti-inflammatory, antiseptive, uterine hormone regulation, courage, healing)
• Comfrey (wound healing, felt sense of safety, soul retrieval after a spiritual journey)
• Marshmallow root (cooling, soothing)
• Linden (soothing, calming, gentleness, rest)
• Calendula (Skin soothing, restore energy and vitality)
• Shepherds purse (postpartum support, anti-hemmorage, supports pelvic floor weakness, preservation)
• Uva Ursi (inner strength, support for urinary tract, healthy inflammatory response, mother bear energy)
• Seasalt and epsom salts

Herbal healing bone broth for postpartum

Herbal bone broth for postpartum

• Bones (unsure if chicken or beef would be better)
• Roast garlic
• Tumeric
• Black pepper
• Ginger
• Nettle
• Apple Cider Vinegar
• Rosemary
• Thyme
• Onion
• Celery
• Bay leaf
• Carrots

My partner and I every Friday do an “at home date night” once our daughter goes to bed. Basically we put all our to-do list to the side, doesn’t matter if there are dirty dishes still in the sink or laundry to fold, everything can wait so we can spend quality time together. We usually will play video games, board games, make a nice meal together, some activity one of us planned for the other, etc. Well today is Friday and we are exhausted. It has been a crazy week, I am currently 7 months pregnant, and we both have zero energy. When we started our Friday nights we made a deal that we would always put in some level of effort to be with each other. So I need ideas! How should we spend our night so we don’t immediately just veg out or fall asleep, but takes zero effort.

Hello all! I am a secular folk/green/hearth witch. I love working with herbalism, tea making, intention bags/bowls, tarot, astrology, and seasoning living. I have been really leaning into these practices for my current pregnancy. As I near birth and postpartum, I’m curious what others have done to support their experience? I thought it would be a nice discussion!

Some ideas I have

• bring tarot cards with my to my birth that encapsulate the kind of birth I want. I was thinking this could be added to a travelling altar that I bring
• make myself an intention bag to bring to the hospital
• make a postpartum sitz bath with magical herbs
• drink red raspberry tea from my garden in the last few weeks
• encapsulate my placenta
• prep healing and nourishing postpartum meals
• cleanse my home during early labour (if possible)

When my first was born it was Covid so I had nowhere to go and I also knew my body was going through many changes, so for about 2 years I didn’t nothing buying anything new or wear anything nice. All my nursing bras were ugly sports bra style. And my look was always oversized tshirts, ill fitting pants, messy bun, no makeup. None of my shoes fit me anymore so I just wore crocs. Looking back I realize how much that affected my sense of self, my mental health, my relationship with my body, and my confidence in being an appealing spouse.

This time around I plan to focus more on myself, within reason. Like if I’m throwing my hair up anyways, might as well use a cute clip. If im gonna be wearing lounge wear, make it a cute linen set. If my body changes sizes, I will buy things for the body I have, not wait for the body I assume will come. Things like that. So I’m curious if any of you have suggestions for “sexy” nursing bras? Or I’ll even take suggestions for little things you do/have that make you feel connected to yourself as a woman, rather than just a mom.

So we have decided on the name August and are now looking at middle names for our baby boy. For background, my name means God of Storms and my partner’s name means Thunder. So we thought it would cute to have something similar to that meaning as a middle name. Not all the options are that, but most are vaguely sky related or just names we like. I put the meaning next to each name.

Let me know which ones you like or if there are similar style alternatives you can think of cause we haven’t completely commit to these ones.

August Elio (of the sun)

August Taran (Celtic - god of thunder, Sanskrit - guiding star)

August Neil (cloud)

August Rainn (rain lol)

August Evran (universe/cosmos)

August Alden (old friend)

So we are having a second child and we are having a boy. We are so excited for him but I’m starting to get a bit nervous. We are a lesbian family and our first was a girl. My wife is an only child raised by a single mom. I have a very involved dad and a brother (but that’s basically where the males in our life end). I was also raised around a group of 6 all girl cousins. My friends are mostly all women and the ones with kids happen to only have girls. And I work in a very women-centred career. So basically the only place to get advice on a little boy is my dad, who is so great but doesn’t always offer the best advice when it comes to gender, and my brother, who is no where near a raising kids stage of his life.

So this is where I turn to you. What advice do you have for taking care of a little boy. What advice about taking care of a penis (we aren’t planning on doing Circumcision)? Is there really anything different to know? After you potty train, when do you transition to teaching to stand up? Basically, give me any and all of your tips and tricks about raising little boys.

So I breastfed with my first and occasionally pumped to build a stash or maintain supply when I went back to work after a year. I had both the Medela Pump in Style double electric pump and also the Medela harmony manual breast pump. I used these in 2021-2022. Now I’m pregnant again and pulling everything out of storage and feel completely lost as to what needs to be replaced or not. Specific parts? Whole machines? I’m really unsure and would love advice on what you would do?

So I breastfed with my first and occasionally pumped to build a stash or maintain supply when I went back to work after a year. I had both the Medela Pump in Style double electric pump and also the Medela harmony manual breast pump. I used these in 2021-2022. Now I’m pregnant again and pulling everything out of storage and feel completely lost as to what needs to be replaced or not. Specific parts? Whole machines? I’m really unsure and would love advice on what you would do?

So we currently have a newly 5 year old and she has always been an awful sleeper. We have tried absolutely everything but it turns out she has sleep apnea. We now have a good routine with her. We read to her for about 30 min every night and then lay with her till she falls asleep (this usually takes 5-30 min), and she usually sleeps through the night these days. We know we want to start transitioning her to independent sleep, but sleep has been such a difficult area in her life and she only just started sleeping through the night (due mostly to apnea medication) that it feels scary to disrupt the routine.

Well I’m currently pregnant with our second and my partner and I were talking about how we will manage sleep. Obviously one of us will do bedtime with one kid, while the other does bedtime with the other kid. However, I work 2 evenings a week so my partner will be alone with both those days. How does this work? How will they get to sleep? Would love to hear what other family’s do? Would love to hear your sleep routine, especially for kids that require more sleep support.

TLDR: my 5 year old requires lots of sleep support so I’m unsure how we will manage bedtimes with baby number 2?

Our approach to chores is that everyone in the family is expected to help out with the day to day work. So that includes help tidying, clean up one toy before pulling out another, bringing plates to the kitchen, helping unload the dishwasher, etc. It’s not a set schedule but just help out as you see needed/as requested. And it is not attached to allowance in anyway.

However, I do think there are some extra chores that kids can choose to do if they want to make a bit more money and that I’m willing to pay for. Cause I’m willing to reward above and beyond help. This was my family’s approach growing up and I think it works really well. We have a skylight calendar and I was going to add a list of “up for grab” tasks that will be paid for. My daughter is 5 so I want to start this mostly to get into a routine of it for when she is older. What are some age appropriate optional tasks you would ask of a 5 year old? So far I have pick dandelions, go through stuffies for donations, vacuum under couch cushions, and dust the houseplants.

Hi all, my friend was recently diagnosed with EDS. I really want to make them a care package with a mixture of self care items, things that are helpful for navigating a new diagnosis, and maybe some fun little treats too. Would love to hear what has been helpful for you? What you wish you had when you were first diagnosed? And ways you have been supported that has stood out to you? Thanks!