u/shauna_haywood

You know those conventionally attractive girls who can sleep with literally anyone? You run into them everywhere (at work, college...). I’ve always felt so insecure around them. Seeing someone who can get guys' attention and turn them on just reminds me of my own inability to attract anyone at all. It would be a miracle if I could appeal to even one person, but when I see a cute girl at work whom men of all ages want to hook up with, I’m reminded of just how pathetic I am. It makes me feel so uncomfortable. Even uglier and left behind.

I’ve been doing this for at least 10 years. I have an alter ego. Several ones, actually. I picture a different universe (another planet or a fantasy world, or even Hogwarts) and imagine stories. Even in the middle of the day. Of course the stories involve guys but it’s not standard dating like in real life. The scenarios are usually pretty complex and intense. But it's not just basic daydreaming (everyone does that) : I actually have several parallel worlds, each with its own specific mechanics, backstory, characters, and detailed settings.

Honestly I could write books based on everything I’ve imagined. I’m constantly daydreaming. At night before falling asleep, obviously, but also while going to and even while I’m actually working. It’s literally a parallel life. That said, I still manage to lead a "normal" life. In fact I’d even say these scenarios help me regulate my emotions IRL. Apparently, the brain doesn't distinguish between a visualized scenario and reality. I think it soothes me to imagine someone holding me, kissing me, and so on.

Anyone else does that?

Hey so I just wanted to share a few tips to help you feel better during this summer and for back to school. I’m not claiming this will make us all look stunning or have guys lining up, but the important thing is feeling comfortable in your own skin.

SKINCARE

As a true Frenchwoman, I highly recommend French pharmacy brands (Avène, La Roche-Posay, Embryolisse) especially if you struggle with acne or very dry skin. Korean skincare is also an interesting alternative to explore, but it can quickly become expensive. Otherwise, mainstream Western skincare (like The Ordinary) is quite accessible and effective

For bodycare, I recommend L'Occitane (another good French brand). They have great shower oils, as well as almond creams and mists that smell amazing and are really hydrating.

HAIRCARE

Olaplex and Kérastase can be very effective (don't fall for the Gisou hype on social media), but they are expensive. Depending on your needs, you can also use argan oil, coconut oil or keratin to add shine to your hair. We all have different hair textures and there are plenty of ways to care of our hair.

FRAGRANCE

You don't need to break the bank buying YSL, Dior or Burberry (even though it smells AMAZING let's be honest). For a low price and a generous amount of product, you can try Ariana Grande's fragrances like Cloud and Sweet Like Candy, they are real compliment getters. Pink Sugar is another budget-friendly option, though it’s not for everyone.

Otherwise, body mists like VS Bare Vanilla or Velvet Petals, Phlur Vanilla Skin or even Sol de Janeiro (62 smells amazing) are often very popular.

MAKEUP

You don't need to be a professional makeup artist. A BB or CC cream from Embryolisse, or tinted skincare products from Typology can work wonders. They give you a healthy glow and look very natural. A touch of blush, well-defined brows, a little mascara and some lip gloss and you're all set. One last detail: a simple coat of clear nail polish instantly makes you look more put-together.

Hope this helped! Take care

Let's share our stories and comfort each other. Because I know life can be rough for us.

Here’s mine: I’ve always been different, ever since childhood. I was always too tall and too thin. Boys made fun of me from kindergarten all the way through high school. Girls did too. I did have friends, always had, but that was because I compensated by developing my intellect and acting mature for my age, which helped me earn respect. I never experienced teenage romance. I realized very early on that I would never be desired.

Now that I’m in my mid-20s, I’ve improved my appearance and get compliments but I know full well that I don’t appeal to any man. No one has ever asked me out for a drink, and no one has ever been romantically interested in me. My social circle is now made up mostly of married people or in a long-term relationship, or older people. So it’s a lost cause. I missed the boat. I never got the chance to live what the majority of humanity experiences.

I don't mean to be dramatic, but I feel like I’m under a curse. Despite all my efforts (taking care of myself, exercising, having nice long hair, smelling good, smiling and being friendly) I can see clearly that I will never be an option for anyone. It hurts, being a young woman in this position. I’m 20 cm taller than the average woman. I tower over most men. I’m not ugly, but I’m not beautiful enough to make up for all my flaws. I’ll always be too tall, and I’ll always lack curves unless I get surgery. My nose isn’t small enough, my lips are too thin, and my face lacks fullness and a youthful look. I’m going to try starting therapy to soothe the emotional pain I feel every day. The pain of feeling invisible, never chosen, and unworthy of love.