u/slobz8

i romanticize my life even tho it sucks

e.g. i view me isolating myself in my room fixating on my hobbies, spending everyday at school alone or having no one to hang out with as a vibe to cope

now that doesnt work anymore. i wish i had close friends to create memories with. in the future, i won have anything to say about my youth.

i even want to experience some of the bad things of having friends too so that i can be experienced like everyone else

i feel like a complete loser and a backround character in my own life

(17F)

i had this online friend for 3 years. in she ghosted me for like 9 days to weeks. i asked her if shes okay because of it and she said she had forgotten to reply. then she ghosted me again for like a month, which made me upset, so i unfollowed her to not see her constantly online reposting and stuff. i then texted her saying that i apologize for having unfollowed her due to me being upset and assuming she isnt interested in talking to me, because maybe there is another reason for it and i dont want her to chat with me just because otherwise id feel upset not because shes actually interested in talking to me.

she then explained to me that something traumatic happened to her and her irl friends, which is why she had ignored me due to trauma response and only talked to those friends. and then she said she wont ignore me anymore.

then after a month of her not barely replying to my messages but sending tiktoks just for the sake of it she ghosted me again for 2 months. in those two months she was constantly online, talking to her friends and about to go travelling.

i then wrote her an embarrassingly long text about how i tried my best to understand her why she is ignoring me however no longer wanting to put effort into communicating with her, how i think its okay, if she isnt interested in talking to me anymore, since friendships grow apart, I appreciaze her talking to me but id rather communicate with people who also communicate with me, and she has other friends anyway and we are different, doesnt need me and lastly everything i find so great about her, and then blocked her, to stop ruminating about this. but then i unblocked her and apologized for having done that instead of communicating and i regret doing that but she doesn’t have to forgive me. she then blocked me.

I then was emotionally overwhelmed and texted on her other account where we were also following eachother on this: „that was really immature of me to have said it like that. i see that you have blocked me okay have a great life. I shouldn’t assume anything, but it shows that you weren’t interested in talking to me to explain why you didnt or wont reply for 2 months. ok bye. it’s fine“ and blocked her and haven’t texted her since. (it was wrong of me to have said that)

i feel like i should have asked or talked to her about it again, but it just felt too weird, desperate, clingy and attention seeking. but she told me she had ignored me because of her trauma response, so i kinda did something wrong, because maybe that was the reason again? but she has also lost friendships by ghosting peope before.

she 100% wouldve never replied to me, so i felt like she wasnt interested in our friendship anymore.

i had this online friend for 3 years. in she ghosted me for like 9 days to weeks. i asked her if shes okay because of it and she said she had forgotten to reply. then she ghosted me again for like a month, which made me upset, so i unfollowed her to not see her constantly online reposting and stuff. i then texted her saying that i apologize for having unfollowed her due to me being upset and assuming she isnt interested in talking to me, because maybe there is another reason for it and i dont want her to chat with me just because otherwise id feel upset not because shes actually interested in talking to me.

she then explained to me that something traumatic happened to her and her irl friends, which is why she had ignored me due to truama response and only talked to those friends. and then she said she wont ignore me anymore.

then after a month of her not barely replying to my messages but sending tiktoks just for the sake of it she ghosted me again for 2 months. in those two months she was constantly online, talking to her friends and going to travel.

i then wrote her an embarrassingly long text about how i tried my best to understand her why she is ignoring me however no longer wanting to put effort into communicating with her, how i think its okay, if she isnt interested in talking to me anymore, since friendships grow apart(which ours kinda has), she has other friends and we are different, doesnt need me and lastly everything i find so great about her, and then blocked her, to stop ruminating about this. but then i unblocked her and apologized for having done that instead of talking to her about it which she doesn’t have to forgive me for. she then blocked me (which i understand)

did i do anything wrong, like overexxagarate? everyone says i did the right thing but i also feel like i should have asked or talked to her about it again, because maybe eventually she would have stopped ghosting me, but it just felt too weird, desperate, clingy and attention seeking. but she told me she had ignored me because of her trauma response, so i kinda did something wrong, because maybe that was the reason again? Ofc now ill never know

she has lost friendships by ghosting peope before. i dont think its that hard to write a short message saying you wont reply for a while which doesnt take 30 seconds, at the same time i do not have depression and dont know what its like.

we werent that close, especially as i thought and hoped we were. and she 100% wouldve never replied to me, so i felt like she wasnt interested in our friendship anymore.

did i do something wrong?

im not sureee relfdöskdükdsöggäeakeükae#

i had this online friend for 3 years. in she ghosted me for like 9 days to weeks. i asked her if shes okay because of it and she said she had forgotten to reply. then she ghosted me again for like a month, which made me upset, so i unfollowed her to not see her constantly online reposting and stuff. i then texted her saying that i apologize for having unfollowed her due to me being upset and assuming she isnt interested in talking to me, because maybe there is another reason for it and i dont want her to chat with me just because otherwise id feel upset not because shes actually interested in talking to me.

she then explained to me that something traumatic happened to her and her irl friends, which is why she had ignored me due to truama response and only talked to those friends. and then she said she wont ignore me anymore.

then after a month of her not barely replying to my messages but sending tiktoks just for the sake of it she ghosted me again for 2 months. in those two months she was constantly online, talking to her friends and going to travel.

i then wrote her an embarrassingly long text about how i tried my best to understand her why she is ignoring me however no longer wanting to put effort into communicating with her, how i think its okay, if she isnt interested in talking to me anymore, since friendships grow apart(which ours kinda has), she has other friends and we are different, doesnt need me and lastly everything i find so great about her, and then blocked her, to stop ruminating about this. but then i unblocked her and apologized for having done that instead of talking to her about it which she doesn’t have to forgive me for. she then blocked me (which i understand)

did i do anything wrong, like overexxagarate? everyone says i did the right thing but i also feel like i should have asked or talked to her about it again, because maybe eventually she would have stopped ghosting me, but it just felt too weird, desperate, clingy and attention seeking. but she told me she had ignored me because of her trauma response, so i kinda did something wrong, because maybe that was the reason again? Ofc now ill never know

she has lost friendships by ghosting peope before. i dont think its that hard to write a short message saying you wont reply for a while which doesnt take 30 seconds, at the same time i do not have depression and dont know what its like.

we werent that close, especially as i thought and hoped we were. and she 100% wouldve never replied to me, so i felt like she wasnt interested in our friendship anymore.

did i do something wrong?

im not sureee relfdöskdükdsöggäeakeükae#

When I see people out with their groups of friends or hear someone talking about their friends, I no longer feel jealous. I’ve accepted that I’m not cut out for that sort of thing because I lack the communication skills needed to form genuine friendships. It’s as if my lack of social skills is deeply ingrained in me. a social life is obviously not the life i was destined to have or ever will have so i dont see why i should keep trying or hoping for better anymore.

its been 2 months since we arent online friends anymore because she had wronged me, but its hard to keep her out of my mind. especially the daydreams, they pop up out of no where but its hard to not engage with them. i also cant stop thinking about how her live must be right now, and how she has such a better social life. she really doesnt care nor needs me which makes me feel sad and jealous. i made her such a big part of my life and wished for me to be as important to her as she was to me. sometimes i still wish that, because i miss how our friendship once was.

she has a great social life, hanging out, travlinvg while i isolate myself in my room, barely talk to anyone and ruminate about her. it makes me so inferior and like such a loser, even though know i though i know she has many problems of her own. (my limerence for her is/was platonic)

i would really like to get tips and know how you guys cope with this or what has helped you miniminze your limerence

i had this online friend for 3 years. she kept ghosting me, so i wrote her an embarrassingly long text, about how i dont want to make any effort anymore, because it shouldnt take 30 seconds to shortly explain yourself when youre talking to others and constantly online. at the end i wrote that its fine if she isnt interested in talking to me anymore, since she probably doesnt need me, friendships drift apart and she has other friends, and that ill forever love her and said the reasons why i admire her blablabla, and then i blocked her. i then unblocked her, said sorry for doing that, and that i regret it and feel bad and that she doesnt have to forgive me, but then she blocked me. her ghosting me weighed on me, and i really wish she knew that. but i kept saying its fine, that shes not interesting in talking to me, which it is, but i dont want her to think that her ghosting me didnt hurt. i really want her to know, even though i know she may not care at all.

after she had blocked me i her on her other account, saying that it shows she didnt care to even text me at least a short message in a matter of months, and then i wrote its fine have a great life and blocked her since i got a bit upset and devestated.

i blocked and deleted her chat everywhere, so im not fully sure if i can ever text her again. i could also make a new account just to text her, which i would like to do but that all seems too desperate.