u/snowball_earth

Hi!
I’ve been at my job (consultant) for nearly 4 years and my coworkers/managers have been happy with my performance.

But yesterday a colleague of mine reached out to me to inquire about a report I’ve been writing, saying that I’ve used up way too much time on it. He says there’s no way I could’ve spent that amount of time writing this report.

I told him I would take a look at it and see what’s happened. The thing is, he is sorta right but also wrong. I’ve not been keeping track of the hours spent like I should, and also probably wasted time on some details. But I also think that he’s a bit harsh and that the level of detail in this report actually required more hours than he thinks.

Another thing is that I have had issues with concentration lately. I been feeling unusually tired and easily distracted these last weeks, went to the doctor for it and they think I might have iron deficiency. So, it makes sense that I’ve been working slower.

How do I tell him all this without getting all defensive? Do I even bring up the medical part (since it really affects my performance)? I want to take responsibility but I also think he’s being a little unreasonable.

I was emotionally neglected as a kid. I'm 29 now. It has taught me to be hyper independent as an adult, even as a teenager, and I hate it. People always praise me for being strong and capable, but they don't know how exhausting it is to never depend on anyone, never let my guard down, never ask for help. I never show my true feelings to anyone.

It really pisses me off that my parents' didn't see how much I was suffering when I was younger. I had SEVERE anxiety, to the point I was unable to SPEAK in many situations and I was just always terrified. In my late teens, I was also depressed and extremely lonely and barely had friends. My parents must have noticed that something was wrong, but they just didn't wanna deal with it. They decided I was just "weird" and I guess unfixable, so why bother?

I've really suffered and struggled a lot, without much help. And I'm slowly learning to accept that I do need help and support sometimes, but asking for help is often terrifying. It feels almost primitive, like I'm a wounded rabbit in a world of wolves, and that showing any sign of weakness means certain death.

Just needed to vent. I'm having a hard week.

Just wanted to vent a little. I’m going on my first solo trip in 8 years (I’m 29) in a couple of days. I’m having some bad cramps and fatigue from my period that started today, and it’s hard to feel excited or pack my bags when I’m feeling like this.

I know the worst will be over in time for my trip, but right now I’m just dreading the traveling and hot weather in Portugal. I guess it’ll only get better from here!

Happy traveling everyone

Hi!

I’ll be traveling to Lisbon in a week, I expect it to be very hot and I will also do a lot of walking. I’m already planning on taking it slow, stay out of the sun in the middle of the day, drinking a lot of water and cold drinks.

I have pale Nordic skin so I need lots of sun protection, is it bearable to cover up with clothes (loose linen pants and shirts mostly)? Do cafes, shops and restaurants usually have AC?

And what other hacks do people use to deal with hot weather that might not be obvious to someone from a cold country?

many thanks

Hei!

I'm Swedish and have been working as an engineering geologist at a consultant company for 3+ years. I want to move to Norway (not Oslo, somewhere smaller) and work with something similar there. In Sweden it's no problem to find work with "only" a Bachelor's degree, but things seem to be different in Norway. What are my chances to find a job? What could compensate for my lack of a MSc?

takk

I’m 28 and have pretty dry skin (esp cheeks). My skincare routine for the past weeks have consisted of a combo of an essence + face mask (not sheet mask). I find it kinda annoying to use serums, this works better for me.

I recently finished a tub of Laneige Bouncy and firm sleeping mask (not a huge fan), started using the Dr Ceuracle kombucha tea sleep mask (combined with the kombucha essence from the same brand). Plus sunscreen.

Except on very warm or sunny days, I feel like my face just drinks up ordinary moisturizes. And heavy moisturizers make me break out sometimes. Ive used the Klairs freshly juiced vit E mask before, I really liked it.

does anyone else do this? Only issue for me so far is that korean masks are expensive…but i try to get them during sales.

You know the feeling, it's time to leave soon, you're getting sweaty from trying different outfits and throwing half the wardrobe contents on the floor out of frustration. Been there, done that. But instead of crashing out over what to wear all the time, I've started asking myself "what do I WANT to wear?". It actually helps me a lot. Takes away the pressure of finding the perfect outfit, helps me not think of my clothes or my body as my enemies...

Might not work 100% of the time, but I hope this mindset can help someone else.

Hej!

Jag är en 29-årig kvinna som alltid haft väldigt höga "krav" på mig själv. Jag har alltid varit rätt smart och begåvad kan jag väl erkänna nu när jag är anonym, men haft en bror som alltid varit snäppet bättre på allt och det har tärt på mig hela livet. Allt jag gör är han alltid lite till mycket bättre på (i skolan, sport, musik, etc.) och han får mer beröm för det han gör. Att jag är tjej har inte underlättat heller, för jag har upplevt mycket press att vara "fin och snäll" och när jag inte är det kunde jag lika gärna vara osynlig.

Jag har blivit till en väldig perfektionist till följd av detta. Jag har höga krav på mig själv och hur jag uppfattas av omvärlden, det är som att jag alltid vill bevisa för alla att jag är smart och bra på allt (fast jag tror inte att någon ens bryr sig om det). På ett sätt är det väl bra och ofta till och med kul att utmana mig själv, men det gör mig generellt ganska olycklig och svår att komma nära. Jag har varit singel hela mitt liv. Jag uppfattas som en kall person.

Hur ska jag sluta vara så jävla hård mot mig själv hela tiden? Och sluta försöka få bekräftelse från folk som knappt ens bryr sig om mig?

Jag (28 år) har varit en flitig brev- och vykortskrivare i princip sedan dagen jag lärde mig skriva. Jag skriver brev med mina IRL-vänner och brevvänner, skickar vykort när jag är på semester och håller numera även på med Postcrossing.

Det är väldigt sällsynt att få handskrivna brev och kort nu för tiden. Det är också dyrt att skicka brev (ett frimärke kostar 21kr), det är svårt att hitta fina vykort, kanske svårt att veta vad man ska skriva också. Men det gör det också väldigt speciellt och kul när man väl får nåt på posten som någon har lagt ner tid och energi på att skriva och posta.

Jag vet att detta inte är något för alla, men jag vill ändå påminna om att det är en ganska enkel sak man kan göra när man har tråkigt. Kanske skriva till någon gammal släkting, en kompis som bor långt bort, ett syskonbarn eller så. Man kan hitta drivor av fina och roliga vykort och få dem nästan gratis på second hand!

I Danmark har postnord slutat dela ut brev helt och hållet, det skulle vara riktigt sorgligt om samma sak hände i Sverige! Därför kanske jag vill uppmana extra mycket, man får passa på så länge det går att få breven direkt i lådan…

Ha det fint!