u/someone56789

Rule 5: Playing as Crimea and took Constantinople from Napoli-vassal Byzantines and noticed it doesn't have a dynamic name, so I decided to name it after the dynasty name, Giray. I would name it after the current ruler but his name is Islam and I don't want a Islamabad type situation

Rule 5: Started as Crimea with Europa Expanded, had no hand in Anatolia apart from an attempted alliance that failed early on. Saw something about an 'Anatolian Beylik Revolt' disaster for the Ottomans. They looked fine most of the time until now where they lost all their holdings in Anatolia

Rule 5: Played as a custom nation in Comoros with Madagascan culture (which I didn't know was a Malay culture that existed in game) with the goal of flipping Madagascar to Malay culture group, inspired by the early Malay voyages there

Rule 5: Doing an Inca campaign and went to switch as Portugal to have them white peace my ally and the guy they declared on cause they were losing and not sending anyone. Checked out the Old world and it was chaos. Most surprising is Kelantan somehow overcoming Malacca

Rule 5: Formed Incas as Cuzco in the early 1460s, and the n saw a English conquistador going through my lands. Is this considered early colonization? I haven't played as a native in the New World, only as a Malay custom nation in Cali

Reposted due to misinformation about the contents of the song on my part

For context, 'Royal Guard' is about the Life Guard (Livgardet) of Sweden and their hundreds of years of service, but the MV is based on the Skirmish at Bender between Charles XII of Sweden and the Ottomans, despite not being referenced in the song. The Swedes had ran to the Ottomans in 1709 after their attempted campaign against Russia during the Great Northern War failed. Initially, the Ottoman Sultan, Ahmed III welcomed him and allowed King Charles XII to stay. Though it became too costly to keep him and his entourage, and the Tatars that initially sided with Charles sided with his enemies, it became riskier to keep him, so the Ottomans had to kick him out

Charles XII built what was essentially just a fortress inside Ottoman lands at Bender instead of trying to get back to his throne in Sweden, only doing so AFTER he got captured and released by the Ottomans. But you're telling me this was a heroic 'last stand' against 'invaders'?

Bitch, Charles overstayed his welcome, agitated the Ottomans to go to war multiple times against Russia, went into debt with Ottoman merchants multiple times (presumably to fund his regal lifestyle), then fought his own host with a fortified spot they built in his host's land when he had 5 whole years to fuck off

And the Ottoman uniforms are either bland or just comically wrong. WTF IS THIS? An Azeb? A Yaya? A Bashibazouk? It literally looks like 'stereotypical tribal Muslim'. I looked up on Google Lens and it said it looks like THE WAZIR FROM STRONGHOLD CRUSADER

My gripe is not the song itself but the MV and the context of it, because putting this into context makes the song a lot more pathetic than it is. Though I guess they know their audience of 'DEUS VEULT' fuckers who just want to see 'ePiC cHrIsTiAnS sTaNd AgAiNsT tHe HeAtHeN aRmY!!!'. They could've picked Narva, which was LITERALLY IN THE SONG