u/sootybacteria

I'm trying to understand astrology from scratch. Started with slowly reading texts to understand each planet, questioning their significance.

I was thinking of posting notes as accountability and also good if it also benefits anyone.

Opinion?

When will I find my husband? And how?

I'm 23F, and my boyfriend (27M) and I have been together for about 10 months.

The confusing part is that I don't doubt that he loves me. He calls me every morning, checks if I've eaten or taken my medicines, worries when I'm unwell, introduced me to his family very early on, and even surprised me at the airport with flowers and chocolates. His family has been incredibly warm to me.

The problem is that I don't feel emotionally understood.

I accepted him as he is—his complicated past, high body count, smoking, drinking, health issues (glaucoma, surgery), career uncertainty, everything. I never looked at him as someone who needed to "fix" himself before he was worthy of love.

I have PCOS, which is a metabolic disorder. I'm around 98 kg, and while I do want to lose weight, I've consciously prioritized my academic career because I'm preparing for a PhD and competitive exams. My energy is limited, and I planned to focus seriously on fitness once I had more stability.

Over the past month, he's made multiple comments or jokes about my weight. One of them was that if I lost 15–20 kg, people would look at me and ask him, "How did you get her?" He says they're jokes or that he's just concerned about my health, but I've explained multiple times why those comments hurt me.

For me, it isn't about the weight itself. It's about feeling like the one insecurity I carry keeps getting brought up by the person from whom I expected the most acceptance.

Another issue is effort. I've repeatedly told him that what makes me feel loved is quality time—movies, cafés, comedy shows, drives, museums, conferences, trying new things together. I don't need expensive gifts. I need shared experiences.

Despite talking about this multiple times, almost all of the planning comes from me. Ironically, the one thing he enthusiastically planned on his own was booking a hotel room. That made me realize that when it comes to physical intimacy, he takes initiative. When it comes to planning experiences that make me feel loved, he rarely does.

When I explain these things, he apologizes, but his apologies feel like they're trying to end the conflict rather than understand why I'm hurt. He says sorry, promises not to repeat it, but often starts by defending his intentions.

Can you tell if my love life is doomed?

My mother is an orthodox vedic astrologer. I'm dating a man who is non manglik and who with my score is 14/36. She is kind of judging me for being characterless and immoral because even though his and mine chart doesn't align and knowing we won't end up together, I'm still carrying this relationship. And by that I'm affecting my Venus. And I would have to pay up for it. But I genuinely am affectionate of him, and loyal and honest to him. 1st chart mine, second his.

My mother is an orthodox vedic astrologer. I'm dating a man who is non manglik and who with my score is 14/36. She is kind of judging me for being characterless and immoral because even though his and mine chart doesn't align and knowing we won't end up together, I'm still carrying this relationship. And by that I'm affecting my Venus. And I would have to pay up for it. But I genuinely am affectionate of him, and loyal and honest to him. 1st chart his second mine