u/squeakychipmunk101

This is a bit of a rant. I teach students with level 3 autism so everyday is pretty wild tbf. Teachers don’t talk to me because they may have to interact with “my students.” Today was the day rosters came out and the face of fear that came on every teachers face when I walked into their classroom, afraid that they would have one of my students in their class. When I did have to go over and IEP with them having them ask questions about ensuring there’s a para with them at all times and telling me they reserve the right to remove them from the room.

We just relocated our room to a more central location instead of on the outskirts of the school and I’m already receiving “concerns” aka complaints about the noise, the violence, the fact that they need to keep their doors shut now because of elopers etc.

I’m just so sick of it. How can you look at these kids and see just a problem rather than a child? Where is the empathy? Some of my students have abuse in their background, we send home care packages of food and clothes, these are children just like the ones they treat but the teachers treat them as such a burden. I’m just sad.

Hosted a party for the first time since starting this. Before I’d have people passed out on the couch from drinking just from keeping up with me because I just kept pouring drinks (at least no one was driving, I took all the keys if we decided to drink). I made a menu of cocktails, 3 to be specific. We each had one of each throughout the night and were all set! No drinking to blackout and still managed to have a good time.

Because I don’t have kids. She’s 7 and asked me why I didn’t have kids and I told her it’s because I didn’t want them, I was happy being an auntie. She was flabbergasted, like “that’s an option?!”

So now I’m in my badass tattooed pierced childfree auntie era and thriving. Everything my Catholic parents thought wouldn’t be!

But then you remember several months ago where you thought you could write all you thoughts about religion in ChatGPT, publish it, and create a new religion……oh boy.

Anyone else have those thoughts you look back son and go “yea, could have been mania.”

Had a meeting with our financial advisor and my husband and I have hit coast fire! We actually calculated we can retire 5 years sooner than our projected date because I’ll also receive a pension on top of our investments. A year ago we were struggling to pay our mortgage and had multiple credit cards maxxed out. We bit the bullet and sold our house to move to a smaller house in a lower cost area to pay off our debts and save 2k a month on our mortgage. Honestly I wish we would have done it sooner.

It doesn’t stop that kick in the diaphragm when a family memember tells you that they no longer feel like they need to be a teacher because being a mother is a higher calling. Why was that such a kick? I’m a teacher! And a damn good one. I teach kids with autism and they are tough. One of the main reasons I chose to be childfree, even though I love kids and would be a great mother, was because I give everything to my students and come home exhausted. I wouldn’t be able to give enough energy to kids at home.

To be told that being a mother is a “higher calling”? I almost burst into tears. My dad heard it an pulled me aside. He comforted me and told me to ignore it because motherhood is just a different path not a higher one. He reiterated that he is proud of my and how devoted I am to my students and will never regret the fact that he doesn’t get grandkids from
Me, he’s happy with his fur grandbabies lol. Even though that it was a punch in the gut it did allow me to appreciate the support I get from the most important people in my life.

It’s not even that it erases us asexuals from the situation. It also tells every person who doesn’t want or CANT have sex that they will never be in a fulfilling relationship. My husband is my best friend but he’s more than that because we are a couple. If I have a bad time I don’t have to worry about him cutting and leaving because it’s to hard. I never have to censor myself around him and get to be my authentic self with no thought. Just cooking dinner and dancing stupid around the kitchen is an intimate activity for us. I just hate that people are so quick to damn something “other” and that also damns all the people who aren’t “other” but physically can’t have conventional relationships.

Even before I figured out I was ace sex hurt. It ended up I had a spit vagina so it was physically very painful for me to have sex. If I wasn’t ace and bought into the fact that sex = functional relationship I would have had to undergo and invasive procedures to fix that including rehab and pelvic rehab. Assuming those that don’t have sex are dysfunctional affects so many more communities than just the ace community and it makes me mad!

What are your thoughts about teachers doing toileting? I teach center program with two paraprofessionals and treated toileting as just another part of my job. Whoever is free when it is needed is the one who does the diapers.

When I mentioned this to another teacher she said I should never be doing toileting because that’s not my job.

Am I crossing a line here? I don’t want to step on toes but I do want to help my paras because they help me so much and if they are busy it just makes sense to get a kid out of a dirty diaper as soon as possible.

Yea like the title says. I don’t feel sexual feelings but a good vibrator can still get an orgasm going. Otherwise i feel no sexual feelings. I’ll have sex with my husband when he wants it because i love the emotional connection that comes from it. Honestly im happy to give it to him whenever he wants just because it’s not a big thing to me and im not repulsed.

Does that make me a pretender? Because sometimes i feel it does.

I never felt like an alcoholic, I had a functioning marriage and job. When I got drunk I didn’t shop or brawl, I donated to charities. Yea sometimes I went to work hungover but there’s no law about that.

Then I realized something was wrong and started to give my self rules. Only drink on weekends, one drink with dinner and that’s it, only drink socially. No rule ever survived contact with first drink. I would drink the one then wouldn’t stop until I fell asleep.

Now I’m in control. Most of the times I dont drink but sometimes i do. But if i do I have one or two and that’s it. Always with plenty of thought. Taking forever to finish that first drink. I don’t put a bottle next to my couch and just pour shot after shot anymore not even counting.

This medicine has been a life saver for me

My husband guilted me into talking to my psych about my alcohol use. So now I have a shiny new prescription for a dopamine inhibitor to reduce cravings. If I drink I get all of the downsides without any fun times!

Do I have a problem? No. Is it slowly becoming more of an issue? Maybe. I’m just more annoyed I was forced into this by my husband before I was ready. Idk maybe underneath I do acknowledge it’s becoming a problem but every time he brings it up I just feel judged. He’s not judging me, I know this, but I get defensive every time. Has anyone been in a situation like this before? Anyone ever been prescribed one of the drugs to help with it? (Won’t name due to rules)

Lost almost 80 pounds using sema over the past two years but then hit a huge stall, like 8-9 month plateau. Kept going up but the food noise was still there. Still have about 70 pounds to go to goal weight which is still “technically” overweight for my height. (Doc is happy with it though)

Finally decided to switch to tirz to see if I can get back on track. Anyone else have experience with the switch?

Decide to do a dry June after basically binging for three whole months. Was doing awesome, still making mocktails because making cocktails is a big part of my wind down routine for the day and having a fancy drink while cooking is a routine for me at this point. Broke it today, came downstairs before work this morning g to my husband telling me he lost his job, again. 3rd time in a year. So yea when I got back from work I tried to hold off but eventually made myself a drink. BUT I only had two then switched to water. I don’t blackout or binge even though I was stressed as fuck and emotional. Even though I broke my dry month I’m still going to call that a win and just start again tmrw

And I’m so angry at him. He was only at this last job for a week. Everytime he’s fired he has an excuse but after a week!? How can you be fired after a week!? The pressure is all on me yet again to pay all the bills while he job searches. Part of me is even wondering if he’s sabotaging himself because he’s always let go for “not being fast enough or not following directions or not being a team player” he doesn’t want a job, has never wanted a job and always has complaints on complaints when he does have a job. So yea I’m angry so very angry and frustrated and fed up. I’ve tried to talk to him about it and he never takes accountability. I love him but this is ridiculous. How do I stop being angry at him and explain why I am so mad?

I got my previous dog from the same program but it was a fluke because she failed out with her previous placement and was perfect for me. Now they are working on her successor and want me to come to training classes to help and establish a bond. I’m super excited but terrified. What if I’m not enough!? What if I ruin her before we start our partnership?!

I teach self contained level 3 autism. My kids are nonverbal, get help with eating and toileting, the works. I love my job and kids but also can admit I’m a little over protective. However, my principal just asked me to do something I’m not comfortable with and want to make sure I’m not crazy here. There’s been a problem in our middle school with kids calling each other autistic as a slur. She wants them to do volunteer hours in my classroom to give them “perspective.” I feel very uncomfortable with this. My students should not be a consequence. We’ve had middle school VOLUNTEERS come in to help with special projects like Valentine’s Day cards for the elderly or special projects but it has always been students who choose to come help and come in wth a positive intent and attitude. Assigning my students as a consequence just feels wrong. I am happy to meet with the students to have a conversation about autism in general and why using it as a slur is wrong. I even have a bunch of videos and reflection questions they can respond to as part of their “restorative conversation.” (This is not the first time I’ve run into this) but I do not want a student who feels comfortable using autism as a slur around my autistic students who can’t defend themselves.

Am I being overprotective or this valid? I should also mention that most of my students are kindergarten and 1sr grade and these students coming in our 6th graders.

Update: thank you so much for the quick response. I will talk to the principal tomorrow and outline what I would like to do in response to these students using the disability as a slur vs them coming to our classroom. And reiterate that anyone in our classroom should not see it as a consequence. In her defense she is at the end of her rope with this group of kids. She has a daughter with autism as well and I think she was hoping to appeal to the students empathy(but we know that middle school is not a great time for that….)

Update #2: I met with the principal and we talked about what the purpose of the time in the classroom was and how it would look. The students will be working with the maintenance crew as their consequence. They will the be meeting with me for a discussion, video, and discussion questions from the START peer to peer program. Then they will get the option to also spend some time with their autistic peers in a peer role.

I’ve been to the clinic twice this week because of a student. Once for a bit that broke skin then today for a scratched cornea. He’s been hurting gen ed kids and special ed peers in his class through punches and head butts. Every day I try to go in with the mind frame that “we’ll try again tmrw” “ tmrw is a new day.” But I’m just so tired. I’m sick of getting my butt kicked and having students fear a peer and flinch away because they are used to him being aggressive. At what point can I put my foot down? At what point can I prioritize myself? The clinic and I have a running joke tha I need a ph ch card because I’ve been there 5 times since November. That’s not counting the hits and bites and scratches I’ve gotten that haven’t been severe enough for the clinic. I don’t even want to know my brain scan looks like because of all the hits I’ve gotten to the head. I’m on my second set of glasses because he broke the other pair. Where do I draw the line?!!!

On paper I’m a successful bipolar. Well medicated, minimal hospitalizations, long term marriage and stable finances. I’m the bread winner in my family and am at a stable job as a teacher. Secretly though I’m a drinker. It’s how I sleep a full 8 hours at night. When my husband has a late shift or is gone in an over night shift I’m having 4-5 drinks a night. I do all the chores and keep the house up. Pass all my mastersx3 classes to get my doctorate. Get full marks at my job plus some. Then come home and drink. I know it’s a provle but it hasn’t affected my life so i dotn really care. I dont blackout ij weekdays and make sure even my lunch is packed for the day after. Who am i hurting by doing this? I means besides my liver and weight gain

I felt terrible about retiring my soul dog but after taking her to the vet I feel a lot more comfortable. She’s an 8 year old lab and is starting to get arthritis in her hips. I know she’s been slowing down which is why I put the deposit down for her successor but it was a hard pill to swallow. She’s going to be very happy not having to run after eloping children anymore though.

The prospect is 10 months old and still all paws and tail! Probably another 8-12 months with the program until she’s ready and I’m so excited now instead of did dreading it!