u/stuck_in_a_doorway

Hi all, I am about 310lb (originally about ~450lb), but I have been down to 280lb.

So to cut a long story short, I am struggling to lose weight now that I'm in a relationship. I love my partner so much and will never leave her.

The problem I have is that she accepts whatever size I'm at and loves me anyway - and she has insecurities about another lady stealing me so she admits she doesn't want me to lose weight.

So as a consequence I feel she doesn't help me lose weight, she'll offer food above what I should eat, but I'm so happy in our relationship I can't resist.

When I'm focussed, I'm capable of losing weight. She was away for a month a while ago and I was left to my own devices- and I was able to put myself on a downward weight loss trajectory which was awesome. I missed her immensely, maybe I could channel that into weightloss.

But I'm gaining weight again. So I am just after support and encouragement please, how can I make this work? How do I steel my willpower and do this? I can see myself getting fatter in the mirror again. I want to make this work and lose weight.

Thanks in advance for any help.

Hello, so I have started learning piano about 2 x years ago. I started when I was going through a super hard time, and it helped get me through. I have a teacher, she is very old school (she's 80yo) and is a masterful player herself, she is set in her ways and likes to teach a certain way - I get in trouble if I deviate!

I just want to make sure I'm doing this right, I am learning seemingly very slow. I learn 2 to 3 x songs at a time now, all smaller pieces, when they are good enough, my teacher ticks it off and gives me a new one. I am doing Scarborough fair, I don't want to leave you blues (by Martha Mier) and Part of your world by Disney.

I can now play about 8 songs relatively well (but not perfect) without looking at the sheet including Alley cat and Just Struttin' Along by Martha Meir. But I can't believe how much effort I need to put in to progress.

I try to practice an hour a day and I force myself to repeat each song I'm learning 10 times and use the ones I know as warm ups. I just feel like I'm learning slow. I had times where I had a few months off in the 2 years and sometimes only half an hour a day (and miss the odd day).

I am now committed to an hour a day. So I like perfection, my natural skill & talent is in singing - I work on that too with piano, but I'm frustrated that it takes me so long to learn piano. Piano has improved my singing as I was so natural at it I never worked on it or performed (but learning the piano is making me want to perform and improve my voice)

My question is: am I doing this right? Should I be doing any kind of finger or dexterity drills like scales too? Thanks in advance for helping a beginner that wants to improve!

Hi all, I just found this great sub and I have a question please - what can everyday consumers do to drive down prices of almost everything?

I feel like we get rorted by the price of almost everything, but I feel a lot just keep paying the extortionist rates and companies keep making record profits.

I wanted to ask, what can we really do to drive prices down and make this country as great as it was for the everyday Aussie? TIA

I just wanted to post that after spending 5 days in Thailand for the first time to support my wife (she is Thai but we are both from Australia - I met her there, we met at work), I am absolutely shocked at how welcoming Thailand is to tourists, foreigners and Farang like me.

I have no desire to holiday anywhere else in my life now. We are staying in Bangkok but I feel that even if you had a 5 month holiday in Bangkok, you wouldn't come close to seeing or experiencing it all. I love Thailand and I love Thai people. Thank you for making myself and my wife feel welcome (although my wife was born here and spent 30 years here before immigrating to Aus).

Hi all, so I am a sheltered Aussie citizen approaching middle age and prior to my trip in Thailand (staying in Bangkok) I have never travelled internationally before.

I love this place, I could never conceive that such a city could exist. It's just incredible. I am still here for a week - but I have some random questions please?

1.In Sukunvhit at least, the traffic is almost in a constant state of gridlock. How does the city function? I noticed that scooters still flow through the grid lock at good speeds however.

2. How are the scooter riders so excellent, I have never seen skill like this before (I am a motorcyclist and scooter rider back in Aus).

3. How are there no accidents and also, in the few days I have been here in Sukunvhit - I have seen no police, no road rage despite the gridlock and no fighting - How?

4.I have noticed graffiti around the city - but it looks like western style graffiti in the latin/Roman alphabet - what is the deal with that? It looks like the graffiti in Sydney, Australia.

And lastly

5. What are all the little houses on the streets and on top of skyscrapers and other buildings, are they buddhist shrines? Most of them have power run to them with lights and everything.

Thanks in advance!! I love Thailand - I have no desire to holiday anywhere else.

Hello, I'm new and apologies - the FAQ and start here just isn't opening on my reddit app.

So about 4 weeks ago I woke up with my right eye blurred over completely. Blinking started making it better and when I got to work, it was only slightly blurred but then it went away.

2 weeks ago the same thing happened and by the time I got to work it was better but now had a slight permanent blur (I could still drive no worries though). So I went on leave worrying that I had a neurological problem but went to the optometrist first.

At the optometrist, it was scary because even with the corrective lenses on the machine, there was still a blur on my right eye. So they did all the tests (pressure test, other tests).

When the optometrist put yellow drops in my right eye and looked at it with a microscope he said and I quote "Oh my god. That's bad aqueous deficient dry eye". He reassured me it wasn't neurological and gave me Hylo-Forte eye drops and told me to put them in my eyes 4 times a day for 4 months.

So it's 2 weeks later and the severity of the right eye blur fluctuates. This morning it was bad again and it still scares me that there is something else wrong.

So I am on a CPAP (resmed travel CPAP with no humidifier) - it's worst when I wake up sometimes and I'm starting to wonder if I need to get a humidified cpap, I think I've got a bigger sinus from my nose to my right eye and if air is leaking over my right eyeball making my dry eye worse.

My questions are, can dry eye REALLY caused a slight blurred vision if it's bad? The drops don't immediately resolve the blur but sometimes I'm forgetting to use it 4 times a day what other treatments can I try? Also should I get a second opinion or believe the optometrist. He was adamant - he said he could see the surface of my eye and it looked messed up and dry.

Thanks in advance for your reassurance and help. I feel lucky to have 2 eyes because my left eye is clear but the dry eye in my right eye is affecting my overall vision.

I can't believe it, I have comfortably achieved 2000 cal today and I'm not too hungry (usually I keep going to 2200-2500+ cal a day). It has taken me a week and a bit to achieve this since my last post about my frustrating platueu.

A few folks gave the advice that I need to aim for 2000 cal but I just couldn't get there. (I'm male, 40's and I am about 135kg or 300lb - have come down from 400lb).

I feel like I can keep at 2000cal a day for a few months now, I think that will definitely break my platueu.

For me the secret has been replacing one meal with a microwave "lean cuisine" type meal (they have from 200-450cal and feel filling), or even a standard pub fare style microwave meal as they have around 500-600cal which is perfect for me if I've had a normal lunch.

I will keep soldiering on, thanks heaps all for helping me with this, it felt hopeless for a while there.

Hi friends, so I am currently platueud at 300lbs. I'm down from my max weight of over 400lbs+. I did it with calorie counting and it was easy at first. I really want to complete my journey but I'm stuck at 300lbs.

What strategies, books or programs can I use to break the platueu please? The GLP drugs aren't available to me, including conventional medical treatments for obesity so I have to do this the hard way.

I am over being at this platueu for over a year - thanks in advance for any advice on this.

HI all, so I've had ADHD my whole life - and it's really disruptive to my life. Mainly in regards to sticking with things, money management and being a late social bloomer due to hyperfocus on hobbies but being unable to focus or concentrate on normal boring life stuff as a teenager.

So I was rediagnosed in 2024 and prescribed a low dose of ritalin, 10mg as I couldn't handle higher without unwanted anxiety. I was given informed consent - my psychiatrist sent me to a cardiologist to check my heart and the like. So it helps a lot with executive functioning, but not %100 (maybe 50%) as I feel I need a higher dose but I can't handle the side effects.

So my prescribing authority runs out in September, and I'll have to find another psychiatrist and get re-diagnosed and it'll cost thousands (I'm in Australia) as my original psychiatrist has retired and his diagnosis letter won't be enough.

So today I saw a freaky daily mail news article claiming that there are fatal heart related side effects doctors aren't informing patients about. Does anyone know about heart side effects?

I'm wondering if in September, I should just go off my 10mg and just use mindfulness and psychotherapy yo manage my condition. This article has me spooked, I am worried about heart stuff. Has anyone else seen it, what are your thoughts? TIA

TL;DR how do I work in an office with a toxic and bullying manager and distant director, thrive, retain my professionalism and protect myself?

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Sorry in advance for the long post.

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G'day, so I'm in the APS (federal), and without doxxing myself - I'm in a technical field based section of a big department.

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So I was originally working field based only with an awesome team (90 percent field and 10 percent administrative/desk based), but was given an acting opportunity at a higher level (5) in the management/administrative area of the section, overseeing and organising work for the field technicians - which is purely desk based, typical bread and butter public service stuff. There's only four administrative staff including the director, manager, myself and another admin person in the section office.

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My skills are mainly in the field based technical stuff, but years ago I did a Gov cert 3 which gave me a great foundation for the desk work. I'm loving learning more in my acting administrative role, except for a couple of things.

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The manager of the section has worked in the same place for donkey's years, and is very technically knowledgeable and works obviously hard - however he is a one man band, he bullies, he is rude and arrogant and protective of his knowledge, and his favourite thing is to watch others fail, point out their mistakes and sometimes laugh at them - he has no people skills. He could have retired years ago but hangs on. He has mood swings too, some days he won't even return a "good morning" from myself and other staff.

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I try my absolute best working next to him, (luckily I answer to the director), but it grinds me down and I become so resentful. He has bullied me at times, and I have caught him purposely withholding knowledge that I need to effectively work in the section office so he can gloat when I've made a little error because of it.

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Our director used to be very approachable and friendly, so field staff will come to him for queries (because they felt a lot more comfortable talking to him than the manager), but suddenly one day he visibly snapped and got very angry at a lot of people - telling them to now only go through the manager which people loathe. He just isn't approachable anymore, but he tells everyone to work with the manager because he wants people to learn as much technical knowledge as possible before the manager retires (which the director knows that the manager is guarding).

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So to cut a long story short, I can't move section - my field skills are very niche and relevant to the section. I want to hang in there in the acting role to learn as much as possible about admin and planning to open up further opportunities in other departments/sections but I just wanted to ask - how can I retain my professionalism, how can I thrive and also protect myself working next to a man like this? Overall, I love serving the public, I don't want to do anything else. Thanks in advance.

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Hey, so I'm wondering if you have ever worked with someone in the Aussie public service that everyone walked on eggshells around because they were known for submitting false bullying claims to get their own way?

I have when I was working in state gov public service (I'm in fed now). This person once put in claims against almost everyone in their teams, and some put against her - it utterly destroyed the working environment and that team is completely disbanded and automated now. It taught me that official complaints and claims should be an absolute last resort if the problem can't be solved by talking to the person and superiors. TIA for your stories.

Hello, I love singing, I have only had informal training including taking self-taught courses. Sorry in advance for the long post (TL;DR: Does anyone else get chest pain when singing and is there warm up techniques or other techniques to avoid chest pain, thanks Please note: I am NOT asking for medical advice)

EDIT: The pain is like indigestion pain, pressure from reflux kinda thing

I can sing jazz, rnb and pop pretty decent (however am garbage at rock). I discovered the hard way that I get chest pain when signing karaoke (I was doing a full 100% performance on the one song I sung and I was anxious!)

Afterwards I had chest pain, so went to the ER for a check up, it wasn't heart related (although there were cardiac markers indicating I had been through intense stress - I was so anxious to sing on the stage despite doing well!).

Anyway I did karaoke about 3 weeks later, and I sung for an hour and got minor chest pain afterwards, I have been cleared for cardiac problems but I still don't like the chest pain. It took longer to come on the second time and it wasn't as bad.

So I've been roped into karaoke tonight, I am looking forward to it, but I would like to know how I could avoid the chance of chest pain. Are there warm-ups or other techniques? If it's a clue, when I sing I've been told I sound great with intense sound projection, but I look really stressed and intense - (is this a clue?). Also, does anyone else get this? Thanks in advance!

Hi, so my teenage (16yo) son's bedroom really stinks, and we can't figure out what it is. He stays in there in his bed when not at school, and does shower well twice a day and is clean. We wash his bed sheets once a week. When he goes out to the mall, and leaves his bedroom door open - the smell wafts into the living room and the living room smells too when we get home. It smells like a slight ketone sweet smell mixed with a slight BO smell. He has had a blood test and doesn't have diabetes. Is this just a normal teenage thing, like growth hormones? Opening the window really helps but he hates it open and shuts it (seems to be oblivious). TIA for advice

In the fed public service, do you have colleagues that come in sick, sneezing, snotting and coughing everywhere? Our section manager has come in quite sick with an aparent viral respiratory infection for the past 3 days, this has been going around. I sit next to him, and when I was under him (not anymore), he would actively tell me not to come in until I was well as not to "give it to everyone" if I called in sick. Hypocrisy! I'm not sure what I can do apart from move onto a hot desk whilst he's sick?

Hey, so I'm after a bit of advice on a situation that I've never been in before. I work in a fed gov agency as an APS5, and at a farewell for a collegue held on a lunch break, I was chatting to another staff member (also APS5) that I didn't know too well - and they started to tell me very angrily that our section's directors are absolutely useless, and are *insert numerous expletives here* etc. He kept going on and on about it, and was relentlessly putting them down behind their backs. I started to feel very uncomfortable as I have never had any problems with our directors, not to mention they were standing quite close and probably only just out of earshot. I found it quite unprofessional and surprising as well.

Suddenly I didn't feel comfortable at all talking to or being seen near this collegue. Apparently he was passed over for a promotion and has hated all the executive ever since as because he has more engineering qualifications, we believed he deserves to be at a higher level and maybe even to have one of their roles. With this kind of unprofessionallism, I'm not surprised that he didn't get the job.

Has this ever happened to you, and how would you deal with the situation. TIA

Hey, so I have been strongly complying with my own weight loss program - I'm proud of my efforts. I am eating 2500cal a day exactly, but I'm still not losing weight - but I'm logging everything daily and staying on the plan. I'm yoyoing around 300lb to 302.5lb - and I'm weighing every morning. I'm doing martial arts - I'm not sure if it's causing muscle water retention? I should mention that I'm doing a bodyweight calesthenics program too.

I have been considering trying GLP-1 to speed my metabolism up, but I'm scared of side effects. I follow medical news and sometimes there's scary studies coming out on GLP-1 drugs.

Y'all, should I calorie restrict a bit more? Like aim for 2200cal exactly but with extra protein? Thanks in advance. I'm frustrated, but have that I can now comply with programs.