u/suprasternaincognito

I’ve just begun entering the caregiving phase and am not near to where some of you are. But it’s still sort of new to me, driving me bonkers, I know it’s going to get worse, and I’m an only child. And he lives five hours away.

He has balance issues and walks VERY slowly with a walking stick. It’s a struggle. He used to jog eight miles everyday and go hiking.

We’re on vacation in Quebec and the man climbed 360 steps yesterday to Mt Royal. We passed by a ton of people with impressed looks on their faces, some of whom showered him with compliments. “Well done sir! (How old is he?)” I climbed behind him just in case he lost his balance. He did not.

The man is driving me crazy these days (he’s turning into a curmudgeon, everything is stupid) but f#%% me if that wasn’t impressive! (We got an uber back down. Ain’t no way.)

I also think that’s the last time that’s going to happen. A few trips ago we discovered his inability to hike anymore or walk swiftly. This trip we’ve discovered his lack of energy and leg fatigue.

Okay maybe you can no longer hear it but can’t you feel it still? Why is it just a non-stop no-shame fart party after around 80?

EDIT: I am saddened that so many people in this sub are so over-burdened and frustrated by their aging parents that they are unable to pick up on a dark-humored (but genuinely asking) fart question. I hope you’re able to eventually find levity in your life.

I’m coming up on one year sober next week 🥳 but my god are these drinking dreams intense. Wtf you guys. I’m talking Inception-level intense.

It’s not that it’s tempting me, it’s that it’s giving me anxiety because - in that moment - I am convinced I gave in. I mean, yeah, the relief upon waking, but still…

I seem to have no self-control in my sub-conscious. Odd.

It’s one of the only things I can think of that is a reason for this itchy flare up on my upper lip. I thought perhaps it was strawberries but 1) I haven’t eaten any strawberries in over a month, but 2) I HAVE applied retinol the last few nights.

Itchy, prickly, red, swollen. Only thing that relieves it is lip balm.

Anyone else deal with this?

EDIT to add: Neutrogena brand.

My husband (50) has an autoimmune condition and landed in the hospital for four non-consecutive weeks. MIL (~75) drove up for a day to see him (at our request. She's a former OR nurse.). She and i (49) hopped down to the cafeteria to have lunch and I mentioned to her how I was concerned about his nutrition. I know that's not THE only reason for his situation (I'm not MAHA) but when I see gas station cheeseburgers and Doritos in the fridge, I wince.

I cook quite a bit. My mom taught me and I enjoy it. I do the grocery shopping and most of it is on the healthy side. However, my career is freelance and in the arts, which means I'm not always home in the evenings, sometimes for several days or a couple weeks at a time.

After I mentioned my concerns about his nutrition, she said, "Well, are you cooking enough for him? You know how men don't know how to take care of themselves!" I stared at her in disbelief. I took a breath and tried to let it go. I mentioned how I cook when I can but I'm not always home. She recommended meal delivery. I said, "Yes, we do that, too." I also mentioned how - now that I'm entering perimenopause - i need more protein and want to be better at incorporating that into our meals. She poo-poo'd the chicken and fish I prepare and said we should be eating more red meat.

I should point out: my husband enthusiastically eats whatever I make but, when left to his own devices, reverts to bachelorhood. But I am not my husband's mother. He is an adult. At a certain point, his health is up to him.

Fast forward to the day of his release from the hospital. We're on speaker phone with her. She mentions the thing about needing more protein. I piped in and said, "oh! Well, remember how I said that since I'm in perime-"

"WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW!"

🫤

This woman doesn't give a shit about me in so far as what I can provide for her perfect son who is "just a man". For her, I should have a predictable (and understandable) 9-5 job that allows me to be home at night to be his second mommy (as she is to her husband, who is essentially a big man-baby). This is particularly true since we do not have children (and thus I have failed my duties as a wife and woman).

I am so fucking done with this woman.

Apologies to anyone on the road with me this morning. Kickstart My Heart came on my Spotify and it was exactly what I needed.

It was me. I'm the problem.

Last month, I threw a retirement party for my dad. I made two pies, vanilla ice cream and whipped cream. The ice cream consists of sugar, eggs, whole milk, cream, vanilla beans, salt, vanilla flavoring.

The best compliment I received was, "It's so interesting. You can't taste any chemicals in this ice cream like you can with commercial brands."

YES! Nailed it. 😄 And it's true.

It's also true that's impossible to stop eating.

Between catching up with two high school besties a couple weeks ago (class of ‘95), and having just watched Swingers again with my GenX husband - man, I am really fucking missing the 90s.

Ya grows up and ya grows up and ya grows up…

I'm designing sound for a new musical and the creators are very insistent that it sound warm, natural and nearly acoustic - while also being mic'd. (I sense they've been influenced a bit too much by studio recordings, as opposed to live sound.) The band consists of percussion, bass, acoustic and electric guitar, and keys. The space is a 200-seat proscenium in an old movie house. (Think, old concrete walls.) Forehead mic placement (omni lavs) is impossible because of the amount of hats. Super amazing elements are impossible because of budget.

After a lot of back and forth, we experimented between an ear rig (out around sideburns) and boom (right at mouth). The boom sounded very nice and warm but aesthetically looked awful. So we've gone with a compromise: halfway. Not in the flesh of the cheek (too muddy) but kind of midway at the cheekbone, pointing toward mouth.

We've made the damn decision and I'm relieved to have done so (though we're a bit worried how they'll sound when the band arrives) but I'm quite curious as to WHY this worked. Does anyone have any links (OTHER than the DPA one - love it, got it) about why this is working or any advice as to how to continue proceeding to capture this warm, natural sound the creators are going for? (We've rolled off a bit of the low end on most performers more than I normally would and we're using a light touch on the faders.) Acoustic engineering is not my forté but I do wish I knew a bit more.