u/tatertot94

39w2d today. Not dilated and no signs of labor. Induction is scheduled for 6pm on 9/10 as our daughter is measuring big and doctor recommended to induce so we took it. I asked if we could come in on 9/11 instead and they said, “They are booked all next week,” so 9/10 it is. Based on what I see online, most inductions last 24-35 hours, so there is a high chance she’ll be born on 9/11.

We live in NJ (USA) close to NYC and I can’t help but feel sad it’s likely 9/11 will be her birthday. 9/11 was her due date, but everyone kept telling me most babies don’t come on their due date so I didn’t stress about it. I guess it’s also hitting me harder because there are now signs up in our town for the 25th anniversary this year. Small businesses by us have “Never Forget” pictures up. It is a somber day here, rightfully so.

I know there are much worse things I could be worrying about, but I can’t help but to feel this way. Mom and family are now saying, “It’s just a date” and “It won’t have the same impact on her as it does us since we saw/experienced it” but it’s still taught/shown in classrooms each year so she’ll have to see that on her birthday when she’s young, and she’ll probably get people making a face when she does share her birthdate for all of her life.

Not looking for advice (or advice about the induction); just venting here. Thanks for reading.

Started a day ago. When I stand up, I feel intense pain right below my belly in the middle, right above where my pubic hair starts. It has also happened when I sat down on the couch and baby is pressing their butt extra hard on the top of my stomach. It lasts longer than lighting crotch so it is different. The presses (her butt bulges out…) are now insanely painful too because she’s so strong.

Wondering if this means baby dropped more? Her butt presses are still right above my belly button so I don’t know…she is 83% percentile though and measuring big so maybe she does reach all the way down there… or it’s pelvic girdle pain or SPD. Whatever it is, it is so painful :(.

A week ago, I told my company I was taking STD due to pregnancy. I was over 36 weeks at the time, so within the 4 week mark that it states on New York State Workers' Compensation Board website. I filled out Form DB-450 and provided a letter by my doctor stating they are recommending the STD leave due to pregnancy.

A week later, my HR says I need a “more specific reason” for STD since “pregnancy isn’t a disability,”but that’s not what it says on the state website. According to the Disability website, “pregnant employees are eligible for disability benefits for four weeks before their due date.” It does mention a medical report, but states, “that it needs to say that your disability is due to or related to pregnancy” which the letter my OB wrote did.

This additional leave option was never disclosed to me during my discussion with my company’s HR about my mat leave and something I found out by doing my own research online, so I only followed what was available on NY WCB website. My company has over 50 employees and is also searchable on the NY WCB website.

My husband thinks my company’s insurer is pushing back and that’s why they are requesting more information, but they aren’t stating that flat out. My doctor said they will provide another letter but it won’t have a specific reason, as pregnancy is classified as a disability according to state law. For other HR people because mine has been unhelpful, what will happen if my STD claim is denied or my employer continues to push back on the letter?

Thanks.

Yesterday was my last day of work. I originally told my company I’d work until I delivered and I meant it, but a number of factors led me to taking short-term disability (STD) at 36 weeks. I live in New Jersey (USA) where pregnancy is automatically declared a disability at 36 weeks, so I just had to provide a note from my doctor and I filed for STD with my company’s HR here. I told HR on Monday then tied up loose ends with all my work yesterday with my team.

I’m feeling guilty because my company here is so short staffed due to people leaving the last 3 months. I know that’s not my fault, but I feel bad that my team are down another person and my work went to an already overwhelmed junior staff. The biggest factor for me going out early is I truly felt like I hit peak mental and physical exhaustion since I’m waking up every 2 hours every night and not able to function well at my job like I was previously. My job is also high stress, and that was getting to me much more than it does with getting less sleep, so my doctor told me to take the STD if I could, so I did.

I know I have a right to this time off and I shouldn’t feel guilty but I do. I already do feel like a weight has been lifted though and it’s only day 1 off. I’ve been trying to tell myself that this was one of the last times I could put myself first before my baby comes, which helps, but I still feel guilty and wonder what my boss and leadership thinks. Everyone was supportive to my face and over text, but I know me going out early definitely had a negative impact.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I’m hoping I feel better in the next week about it.

My job gives me a $250 Wellness stipend and I can use it on meal prep/delivery services. I’m about to go on maternity leave and need to use my stipend before I go out. As such, I’ve been looking for companies that deliver decent frozen meals vs. stuff we have to prep (Blue Apron) or is perishable in the fridge (Factor). Looked into Clean Eatz Kitchen and seems like it checks all my boxes: delivered frozen, foods I normally eat and not super fancy, and not crazy expensive so I can get 20-ish meals and use up my stipend.

For those who use or used this service, what are/were your favorite meals? We’re going to order the breakfast burritos too because they look good.

Two of my (32F) friends (32F and 31F) who are child-free (one is married; the other has a partner of 1 year) are coming to visit me in 2 weeks to help me nest before my daughter is born mid-September. One lives 1.5 hours away and the other 3 hours so it’s not short trips for either of them. They’ve offered to help meal prep, organize my baby’s nursery, and just generally hang out and relax before she’s here. They’ll be staying for 2 nights.

I’d like to get them a gift to show my appreciation for their help. I thought about $100 gift cards to their favorite stores and a nice candle, but wanted to hear some other thoughts from women over 30 who are child-free. What would you like to receive if you were in their shoes? They both also came to my baby shower and got me gifts there.

- Budget: $250 total but fine if a little more
- Interests: Fashion, candles and fun home decor, food (Italian food), one lives in NYC and the other Baltimore.

Know it’s early but I have family visiting that weekend and looking to take them somewhere nice where we can sit down for dinner around 7:30/8 then watch fireworks after dusk. Group of 6.

Last year we went to Charley's Ocean Grill in Long Branch and it was nice because we had a table outside with a view of them. Not opposed to doing that again, but wanted to hear where else we should consider for this year to try to book a reservation in advance. I live in Hazlet and open to driving up to 60 mins so towns more south are okay. I’ll be DD as I’m pregnant.

Thanks!

Yes, another burnout post.

I’m an associate vice president and manage five different teams. Overall, I try my absolute best to be understanding and sympathetic to my team and their workload. If they need more time with a pitch, 99% of the time I’ll say no problem. If they can’t get to a task, I’ll jump in and handle it. I try to give them the autonomy to draft and send their pitches and provide updates without chasing them or micromanaging them.

Since last fall, I’ve heard so many of my team members say they are burnt out and overwhelmed. They’re on anywhere between 5-8 accounts each. In the last month, we’ve had some turnover (1 AE, 1 SAE) and team members out (one for bereavement leave). Only one of these people was on my team, but it’s impacted the members across my teams as they worked on the accounts these former employees were on.

I remember what it was like being an AE and SAE - and I sympathize with them. I’m really struggling to provide helpful guidance to them and support them. Mostly, I’ve been telling them to communicate their workload with me and their other senior leaders and log off after 6pm and don’t work late. But we all know this is easier said than done.

I think inside I also hate that I can’t do anything about their workload (tried for the AE I manage), so we basically have the same talk every few months, ie I’m burnt out, they cry, they say they’re overwhelmed, I listen, I talk with their other senior team members, and nothing happens.

Is this just how it is at PR firms? I’ve been at 5 and worked my way up by jumping around, but honestly, it’s so disheartening. I hate that I’m contributing to and/or influencing someone’s burnout. I’ve been burnt out; it really sucks.

Guess I’m mainly commiserating and looking for advice on how other managers have….managed through this.

I get this is pretty niche but I wanted to hear people perspectives!

I’ve read swimming is fantastic exercise when you’re in your 3rd trimester. I’ll be entering the 3rd around mid June. I live in the Northeast US where it does get really hot and humid in the summer. To get exercise and stay cool, I’m debating joining our local community pool, but it’s $275 for the whole summer and I’m debating if it’s actually worth it. I also live 30 minutes from the ocean, but I think a pool is safer and also closer.

Curious if anyone joined their local pool when they were pregnant in the summer and did you enjoy/use it? Or are you debating joining one this year? (or do you own one?) $275 feels steep price wise but if it’ll alleviate any pain (I already have hip pain) and keep me cool I’ll consider it.

Thanks!