u/tiger_tytyG

Guess I just need to vent and decompress.
We’re just starting this journey with my 26-month-old son, and so far, I still cry every day. I grieve, my anxiety is through the roof, and I worry constantly about what his future will look like. I think about what would happen if both of us, his parents, were no longer here. We’re trying to stay positive through all of this, but it’s so hard. I’ve already had multiple breakdowns at work because I feel so trapped.

I work part-time as an RN, and taking care of patients adds even more to my mental load. Last night, I was taking care of a cancer patient who wanted me to stay in her room with her until her pain went away. I stayed with her the whole time, and when I finally walked out of her room, I felt like I couldn’t breathe and cried so hard. I felt so suffocated, and I realized that, in my personal life, I already feel so trapped.
I know she’s having one of the worst days of her life as a cancer patient, and I truly feel for her. But at the same time, I also feel like I’m not the right person to provide the emotional support she needs right now because my own boat is shrinking too. I’m barely keeping myself afloat.

I also unfollowed all the regular parenting subs here on Reddit and parenting profiles on Facebook and Instagram. Yes, I know I’m bitter as hell, but reading posts like, “My toddler just had a language explosion!” hurts so much when I’m over here dying to hear my son babble. It breaks my heart. I know comparison is a thief of joy and I feel so robbed.

My son also attends play school once a week, and I honestly haven’t felt like going these past few weeks. Man, it breaks my fucking heart every time I see his little buddies waving at each other and saying hi and hello to one another while my son is in the corner playing by himself.

FR, my son is already in speech therapy, and we’re waiting for his enrollment in Early Intervention. I’m grieving the life I imagined and looked forward to before having him. And I feel so guilty for feeling this way because he is truly the sweetest person on earth, and I know he loves me so much.
Damn. This is hard.

I just needed somewhere to vent. Thank you for listening.
Thank you for this sub for being my safe space.

I’m so tired. I’m chronically sleep deprived for 25 months. I always feel tired, mad, angry and negative. I want to give my best for my son but I feel like it’s slowly killing me.

Before I had him, I used to sleep for 9-12hours uninterrupted. That’s my standard length of sleep or else I might crash out. My sister even couldn’t believe how I’m still functioning now given that she knows my sleeping pattern. It’s so hard I feel like I’m going insane.

Son is still waking up in the middle of the night for nappy changes, hunger and sometimes just for nothing. He’s been a terrible sleeper ever since and we have no help around. He’s not yet potty trained and he’s a heavy wetter, we tried to limit his fluids, different types of diapers, pull-ups, sposies etc but nothing worked. I just want this phase to be over and him to grow up just so well I can sleep. I know it’s so selfish but I really just want my sleep back. I feel like I’m going crazy it’s so brutal.

I haven’t slept for days now, thinking thoroughly about whether I can finally report this guy. We’ve been together for 15 years, and when we moved here to the US, everything changed.

We have a sweet 2-year-old boy whom I’ve been taking care of ever since he was born. We have family members around the area, but I’ve already become estranged from them because of his father. He doesn’t want them to help me, even during my postpartum recovery. I developed severe PPD and anxiety because I had no help and no village. He didn’t file for paternity leave when the baby was born because he said he was a newbie at work, so for two years, it was all me.

During the peak of my PPD, he told me to jump off the fucking terrace twice. (I’m sobbing as I type this.)
My mom came, and she tried to step up for me, but that didn’t work because, first, I never had a good relationship with her growing up. She beat the fuck out of me many times when I was a child, and I was traumatized for the rest of my life. But at least I appreciated her effort to come here and try to help me.

Honestly, my mom coming here made things worse because he became a monster.

After giving birth, my health really declined. It feels like I can easily catch a cold or the flu every month or two. Right now, I’m in the thick of it, and I asked him if he could call out of work, but he said no. This isn’t the first time. He always refuses because he says we need money to pay the bills.

He also cheated on me with the same girl back home multiple times, and I just caught them again three days ago. I am so fucking tired of this situation. Now our son is sick too, and he still doesn’t want to call out of work.
I need help. I feel so helpless.

I have lots of recorded voicemails from him. Last January, a neighbor reported us because of the noise, but that night, he beat me up and the police came. I told them my lips were swollen because of my allergies.

For context, I work part-time, about 1–2 nights per week, and he’s always angry whenever I’m at work. The rest of the time, I’m a SAHM 24/7. I have no help, no village, no friends, and yes, no “family” around.

I’m exhausted, scared, and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

Posted in the other sub and ffs, there’s a bunch of “perfect parents” in there… and I don’t feel being supported or something like what’s wrong with me? Because everytime I post there it’s as if I am doing something wrong about my parenting. And the last one I posted that I was ranting about a playplace that we used to love and an incident happened that there was an older child (maybe 4 or 5 years old) repeatedly yelled at my son, saying, “You’re not allowed here!” and “You’re not supposed to be here!” He even mentioned my son’s name which he heard when I was calling him and said again “Hey **** you are not allowed here, this is our house.” I know kids are territorial but why is he blocking or restricting my son? There were several other kids same as him inside the playhouse that were playing freely, which made me even more upset.
I took my son out of the play area and brought him over to the couch where we had been sitting so he could play with something else. A little while later, the same child handed me a toy brush and mop and said, “Go clean up the whole mess.”

We felt so humiliated. I just can’t stop thinking that it was racism but yeah, “they are kids”. Thinking my son is different is breaking my fucking heart. All I did was to post the story and these bunch of “perfect parents” were triggered right away.

I know taking care of a toddler can be a lot, but despite all the chaos, I can’t fathom how much love one tiny little human can hold.
My son is 2, and every night before we go to sleep, I look through his newborn and baby photos and videos. Honestly, I’d beg for anything just to be back in those moments again but also I am amazed how he’s growing. I know I sound dramatic, but I just appreciate him so much.
I wasn’t prepared for all the smiles, the cuddles, and the sweet goodnight kisses. My heart will never be the same. 🤍

Not looking for advice, as I know what I should do. I’m just here to rant and vent.
We all know that motherhood isn’t always happy, and social media usually romanticizes it. I love my son so dearly, but I am deeply exhausted—physically, emotionally, and mentally. What makes it even heavier is his dad.
Ever since I gave birth almost two years ago, I feel like my body has become so run-down. Every 2–3 months, I end up with a cold or a fever. Every time I get sick, I beg his dad to call out of work, but he never does. He always says we have bills to pay.
Right now, in the middle of being sick, I was crying because I’m still here showing up for my son, even though I’m not at my best. He doesn’t deserve this. Meanwhile, his dad is perfectly healthy and still refuses to call out of work.
For context, his dad works full-time, 12-hour shifts, and I work a very, very part-time job—just one 12-hour night shift a week—while being a 24/7 stay-at-home mom the rest of the time. I don’t have a car. I don’t drive. I don’t have my own place. I don’t have relatives or a village around me.
I’m simply drowning.

My son is turning 2 this week, and I love him more than anything. Lately, though, I’ve been carrying a lot of guilt.
I don’t drive. I’ve never owned a car, and I haven’t been able to learn how to drive. Between being a stay-at-home mom 24/7 and working one shift a week, I barely have any time for myself, let alone time to attend driving school. His dad works full-time, so most days it’s just the two of us. He works 7am-7pm, leave by 6am and home by 8pm.

I can’t help but feel envious of moms who confidently drive their kids wherever they want, giving them endless opportunities to play, explore, and socialize, while I feel like we’re just stuck at home. I also find myself comparing our situation to families who have their own house with a backyard, where their kids can play outside whenever they want. We live in a high cost-of-living city, and owning a home feels so out of reach right now.

I feel guilty that I didn’t prepare for all of this before having him. Sometimes I even feel like I’m less of a mother because of it, and it honestly breaks my heart.
To be fair, when his dad is at work, my son and I still have playtime every day, and we go for walks around the neighborhood. On Daddy’s days off, we always go out to parks, indoor play places, or his play class. I know we’re making memories together, but I still can’t shake the feeling that it’s not enough.

Has anyone else ever felt this way?

My son is turning 2 this week, and I love him more than anything. Lately, though, I’ve been carrying a lot of guilt.
I don’t drive. I’ve never owned a car, and I haven’t been able to learn how to drive. Between being a stay-at-home mom 24/7 and working one shift a week, I barely have any time for myself, let alone time to attend driving school. His dad works full-time, so most days it’s just the two of us. He works 7am-7pm, leave by 6am and home by 8pm.

I can’t help but feel envious of moms who confidently drive their kids wherever they want, giving them endless opportunities to play, explore, and socialize, while I feel like we’re just stuck at home. I also find myself comparing our situation to families who have their own house with a backyard, where their kids can play outside whenever they want. We live in a high cost-of-living city, and owning a home feels so out of reach right now.

I feel guilty that I didn’t prepare for all of this before having him. Sometimes I even feel like I’m less of a mother because of it, and it honestly breaks my heart.
To be fair, when his dad is at work, my son and I still have playtime every day, and we go for walks around the neighborhood. On Daddy’s days off, we always go out to parks, indoor play places, or his play class. I know we’re making memories together, but I still can’t shake the feeling that it’s not enough.

Has anyone else ever felt this way?

My son is turning 2 this week, and I love him more than anything. Lately, though, I’ve been carrying a lot of guilt.
I don’t drive. I’ve never owned a car, and I haven’t been able to learn how to drive. Between being a stay-at-home mom 24/7 and working one shift a week, I barely have any time for myself, let alone time to attend driving school. His dad works full-time, so most days it’s just the two of us. He works 7am-7pm, leave by 6am and home by 8pm.

I can’t help but feel envious of moms who confidently drive their kids wherever they want, giving them endless opportunities to play, explore, and socialize, while I feel like we’re just stuck at home. I also find myself comparing our situation to families who have their own house with a backyard, where their kids can play outside whenever they want. We live in a high cost-of-living city, and owning a home feels so out of reach right now.

I feel guilty that I didn’t prepare for all of this before having him. Sometimes I even feel like I’m less of a mother because of it, and it honestly breaks my heart.
To be fair, when his dad is at work, my son and I still have playtime every day, and we go for walks around the neighborhood. On Daddy’s days off, we always go out to parks, indoor play places, or his play class. I know we’re making memories together, but I still can’t shake the feeling that it’s not enough.

Has anyone else ever felt this way?

My 2 year old son attends play class/gym at least once per week and I catch him several times that he’s going to pull or pulled other children’s (or sometimes adults) hair out of nowhere… I always tell him that it’s not proper and remind him of “gentle hands please”. Prior going to each class I always tell him beforehand not to do it. Some parents said that it’s okay he’s exploring or it is a phase but I feel ashamed yesterday as the other mom on his play class looks so annoyed after my son pulled her daughter’s hair and as a parent, I feel bad for her as well. I am at my wits end when it comes to this matter, we were attending there for almost a year now and it started like 2 months ago.

Hi all, first of all I’m a 34yo. FTM to a wonderful, beautiful 22 month old boy. I only do work as PRN RN and his dad works full time 12hrs x 3d a week I know it’s only 3 days a week but I feel like it’s a lot. We don’t have a village and relatives to lean on nearby as we’re immigrants here in the US. I don’t drive (as with previous trauma and trust issues) but I am very determined to learn for my son. I feel so depressed and heartbroken thinking my son is way more behind than others, he is very active physically but still not talking much, he babbles and trying to talk. We have already been advised by his Pediatrician to get a referral to Early intervention but his dad refused to do so as he believes that our son is too young for that. I am feeling so horribly guilty as I cannot see any progress on him by “wait and see” approach. In our culture as well, below 2 years old is also considered too young for therapy. All of my family members outside our bubble told me not to worry and relax as he will be okay in time. I consider myself that this is my fault as I only let him be at home most days with me I feel so guilty that I can’t bring him somewhere to socialize and whenever we’re at home it’s all the same everyday, cook food, laundry, dishes, house chores etc, I am deeply exhausted and guilty about this. To be fair, when dad is on day off we always go outdoors and he enjoys it most of the time. It’s almost 2 years and I feel like I’m still drowning. I honestly want to do workouts, fashion and feel like myself again for a bit but I know I need to prioritize my son’s needs first.

I know it’s stupid to compare yourself and cry watching to a mom-fluencer but howcome they already have 3 kids and can do whatever they want to feel themselves again? And yet here I am, still don’t know how to step up.