u/transient_memories

I have never seen such bullies in my entire life - they are so evil and you would not be able to guess it if you meet them as they are all sophisticated on the outside.

They will belittle me and berate me and bully me and once I react with anger, they use my anger to attack me further and say that I am ill-mannered. My mother is e*xtremely attached to our relatives and they use it as a way to emotionally blackmail me into submission.

I do not want to be in touch with them but unfortunately, I had to move in with my parents as they are sick and because of it, they sometimes visit us.

Recently, a Texas Republican made a racist social media post about UT Austin Indian students. The narrative being pushed was that "Indians are taking over". But only 2.4% of UT Austin students are Indians.

I have seen this narrative of "Indians are taking over" being pushed even in countries where Indians make up <= 0.1% of population such as some Eastern European Nations. There was a Ukrainian mayor who said that he won't allow Indians to hold jobs in his city! You know what % of Indians are present in Ukraine - max estimate is 0.02% and they are freaking out lol.

Even in US where MAGA regularly demonizes Indian immigrants, Indians are just 1.6% of population. But several MAGA politicians/influencers drum up demographic panic about Indians to make it sound like Indian population is in double digits.

I feel that the purpose of inflating numbers of Indians is to stir up hate. To make people panic about a future where Indians will be in a majority - something which is not plausible at all.

Today, I was asked about how my code works and I drew a blank. Claude wrote the code and I had no idea about how the code works. I just mentioned that Claude wrote the code. It was pretty embarrassing.

The thing is Claude generates thousands of lines of code - the code it generates is highly optimized and often uses advanced language/framework features - understanding it requires significant effort and time.

Ever since AI was introduced at work, it has been tough as my boss is desperate to show to the leadership that we can expedite our development work using AI and there is not much time left to actually understand what is being shipped. My boss wants everything done ASAP and expects me to understand the code with the same speed that Claude writes the code!

I feel like I am vibe coding enterprise apps - which is not good.

A question to this forum:

For those who returned in the past, did you end up moving out of India again and if so, why?

Mine is 2000 Credits - worth 20$ for an entire month. I ran out of it within the first week.

What is the AI credits/budget limit set by your organization?

Growing up, she would threaten to throw me out of the house and disown me if I am ever impolite to her siblings (my uncles/aunts) and their children (my cousins).

Now that I work and have my own money, she uses her health issues and temper tantrums to force me to comply. I have seen her getting "bedridden/depressed/angry/abusive" if she does not get her way and going back to being normal in a couple of seconds after I agree to her demands.

The thing is: Ever since I was a child, our entire household has revolved around her mood. It is so hardwired inside of me that if I ever see her upset, my first reaction is to appease her instead of learning from past experiences.

For her: Her relatives can be as rude to me as possible but I need to be on my best behavior at all times. Her relatives have bullied and humiliated me and she has said nothing. She does not give a fcuk about my mental well-being or my self-respect.

The sad part is: I let her do this to me over and over again and I just do not know how to walk away without feeling a sense of guilt.

We already used to work with tough deadlines. Also, our deadlines would often be moved up abruptly. But ever since my manager got us Claude Licenses, the deadlines have shrunk so much that it has become impossible to meet them.

AI produces a huge amount of code in a small amount of time. This code sometimes hides some bugs. I have to spend a good amount of time reviewing it and fixing any issues. However, when the management decides on deadlines, they never consider this. They think that AI is this magic wand which produces perfect outcomes.

Already, I have regretted joining this company as there is no professional or career growth here. Plus the company is struggling with finances. It is hard to take leaves because every task is labelled "ASAP/urgent/priority".

The culture in our team is such that I feel like I am a school kid who will be reprimanded if he does not do his homework on time.

I know the market is tough - but I have the skills/yoe to navigate it. I am going to resign because I need to save my sanity.

Our company gave us access to Claude and CoPilot sometime ago.

My work day is now just prompting and skimming the code AI generates and committing the code. Also, AI has changed expectations - so if I take some time to review the code and it adds to the project timeline, it is frowned upon. My learning has a hit a pause because I am hardly doing anything.

Last Friday, I wrote my first line of code in 3 weeks. For some time, I was just blank. I did not know what to do. I can already see AI taking away my ability to reason around the codebase.

Honestly, I feel demotivated and directionless at work. My boss keeps on telling us about how the rest of the teams are using AI and we need to pick up the pace. But no one is hitting pause and wondering if we are stacking up mountains of code which no one understands.

I thought that I would have a relaxing weekend. The doorbell rang in the morning and I opened the door and it was my "maami" (aunt) standing at the door. I greeted her and she did not even bother to respond.

She is known in our family to constantly spew venom. She has never said a single nice thing about anyone. In the last 12 hours that she has been here, she has taunted me and belittled me about my weight and my hair loss and a lot of other things.

Given the fact that she always passes some nasty comment when I am around, I do not even feel like leaving my room. I have to stay quiet because my mother asks me to ignore her comments.

I have to tolerate her for the weekend. Her behavior has led to me dissociating with her daughters as well - who are my cousin sisters.

Recently, in Texas, a MAGA influencer tore apart an Indian flag. I saw one Indian-American "activist" say that the "bad" behavior of Indian immigrants has invited this hate but when a person in India ripped apart an American flag in response, he was calling the Indian person stupid. So, he did not condemn the racist ripping apart the Indian flag but was offended when someone did the same to an American flag!

I have noticed the same pattern in Indian subreddits: You will find plenty of comments which say: "No wonder we Indians receive so much hate". "We Indians deserve racism". etc. but the moment you start talking about social issues in other countries, you get attacked.

I remember looking at this thread where a person was talking about xenophobia in Japan and the comments were like: "As if racism does not exist in India". "We have no right to talk about racism in other places".

It is crazy how sepoys will disparage their own kind and justify racism against their own kind but will defend other countries against any kind of mild criticism. I have several grievances about my country but there is a difference between calling out issues in your country vs saying that "We deserve hate/racism".

I lived in the US for 12 years. But last year, I made a decision to return to India. My mother was keeping unwell and I wanted to support her.

It has been a year and honestly, I regret my decision.

The No.1 factor for my regret is how crazy strict my parents still are towards me. My brother warned me against returning to India but I did not listen to him.

First, I work a remote job and I live with my parents and they treat me like a teenager. Just a few minutes ago, I got reprimanded by my mother for locking my room for a few minutes (I am in my 30s!)

Then there is my mother's bipolar disorder. The other day, she went to the fridge and threw out each and every food container. There was glass and food everywhere. I spent 2-3 days comforting her and getting her back to normal.

My mother is also super-controlling. If you ignore one of her "commands", she will stop consuming food and threaten to go back to consuming tobacco - something which is terrible for her health.

When I say that I want to work remotely from elsewhere for just a week, my mother gets upset. When I say that I might have to move to another city for some work, my parents are like: "We will be accompanying you".

Why did I even move back!!! I could have just visited. I made such a huge sacrifice for my mother but my parents have not changed one bit. They do not care if I am happy or not - they only care that I am "under their control".

I *am* 39. Single. Unmarried obv.

But I often watch my cousins post photos with their spouses and the rest of the family. They are accepted in this society. They do not have to hide anything. They have someone to share this life with.

Honestly, it makes me sad. At my age, I feel very lonely. There are times when I wish that we had civil unions (if not gay marriage). But that might not happen in the next 20-30 years I think.

I sometimes feel that our society is becoming more conservative. There was a brief time when I felt that things were getting better but now I feel that there is an anti-gay backlash everywhere.

Yes, I can still d*ate and find a life partner but at my age, the dating pool shrinks a lot. One of the reasons why I *am* still single is because my ex-bfs dumped me to marry women under societal pressure.

I hope I meet someone before I turn 50 - there was a time when I thought that I could be a*lone my entire life but not anymore.

In my society, one of our neighbor's sons-in-law recently passed away from a heart attack. He was only in his 30s. Last year, my elder cousin brother, who is in his mid-40s, also suffered a heart attack.

I keep hearing more and more stories of men in their 30s and 40s having heart attacks and it makes me wonder: What is going on!

Is it obesity or air pollution or adulterated food - maybe all of the above! I guess stress might be one of the key reasons as well.

I just feel sad to see parents having to cremate their children. I hope you all are taking care of your health and keeping your cholesterol low.

I have read about men facing heart attacks in late 30s and 40s. I was like: well, that would never happen to me.

In the last few years, due to a huge amount of stress, I have gained weight. I went from weighing 67 kg to 85 kg. I have reduced my calorie intake recently. But this morning, something really scary happened.

This morning, I had an argument with a family member. I have been depressed lately and I felt that no one gives a damn about my mental well-being. I came inside my room and was very angry. Then, I started panting and feeling dizzy. I laid down in the bed. I also started to feel nausea and chest tightness and pain in left hand. It was very very scary. I am doing fine now - the symptoms have gone away.

In the past few weeks, while taking bath, I have started panting in the bathroom - my face turning red and my left hand turning white. I can tell that this points to some cardiac issues. I feel tired all the time. I always have this lingering headache. I need to see a doctor tomorrow.

But this has made me realize something: I am not superman. I need to keep my weight in check. I need to take care of my health - both physical and mental. Just 3 years ago, my health was perfect. I used to go hiking and I would climb a 1000 ft every single day. Now, just look at me - I have let go and it is awful.