u/trc1986

I saved after waiting like twenty minutes in case i died which happened andbhad to reload, upon reload do I need to wait another million years

My story. I am a junkie in recovery having not taken an opioid in 4 months. However from ages 13-36 I abused opiates and opioids starting with percodan (oxycodone/ibuprofen) and vicodin (hydrocodone/acetaminophen) Darvocet (propoxephene), rapidly upped to mscontin, and then with oxycontin, opana, diluadid etc... became widely available I super indulged all the way until they started cutting the legal supply off and then transitioned to heroin that transitioned to fentanyl, half my friends died during this transition but somehow I kept ticking.

I finally sought help for my addictions in 2023 and worked with doctors to get where I am today. I feel so much remorse for all the people that legitimately need it and can't because of the actions of myself (well and some of their contemporaries that sold their scripts) and also fear for the day when I will legitimately need them and will not be able to get them.

My second dad essentially (best friend since high schools father whom I've lived with and he has treated me like a second son) got into a bad motorcycle accident in 2000 and was prescribed 90 10mg perocets a month, and a few years back they abruptly cut his script by 1/3rd leaving him miserable for 3-5 days every month. Since then I help him obtain relief through other methods that I won't discuss here, but I feel awful that it got to that point and wish things were different.

No point to this post just wanted to put that out there and apologize to all that I've harmed.

Edit: I seem to see a recurring myth being stated by people that have not lived the life. 99% of our pills were legally prescribed to people with chronic pain whom were overprescribed like my friends mom and sold to us, despite our often young ages. Doctor shopping has been extremely rare for 20+ years due to how intertwined peoples medical information is because of people using software from companies like Epic (MyChart).

Edit 2: I've noticed a trend where people blame addicts for trying to go "Doctor Shopping" as a primary cause when in my lifetime that simply is not true. The integrated health computer systems and lists narcotic prescriptions are put on make that basically impossible and has for a long time.

Nearly every junkie I knew in the old days when real oxy was still on the streets got theirs from chronic pain patients that were wildly over prescribed who then went on to sell the portion of their prescriptions they did not need. Not that I don't feel responsible for my part, but the people with the largest culpability in my eyes were those handing out 30 percocets for getting a tooth removed, or Dr Wetzler that gave my friends mom 90 80s and 90 20s of oxycontin a month, she only took 30 80s a month and then sold the other 60 and all her 20s. She'd split the 80s in two and take half twice a day.

Opioids can only kill so much pain, there comes a point where there is diminishing returns until it effectively doesn't reduce pain further. Purdue is probably the single most culpable party of all as they knew it was even more addictive than morphine but covered it up and propped oxycontin up as a safer less abuse prone alternative to mscontin when they knew from day 1 it was not true.

I also believe a large reason Doctors are hesitant to dispense opioids if there isn't physical evidence of pain is they are fearful of being investigated. My own doctor that helped me get off opiates told me to my face that was why she wouldn't help me get off benzodiazipines as she did not want to be seen prescribing me narcotics and then benzodiazipines as well and possibly be investigated for co-prescribing opioids and benzodiazipines as they are a combination responsible for many overdose deaths, even she knew with my tolerances that possibility was non existent.