u/tydark2

Ask the short fat guy whos poor but has a hot gf somehow. Thats the guy you wanna ask.

Tired of guys who are rich and hot saying they know how to get girls. Like bro, your literally rich and hot, you dont need to have any other skills idiot.

I will keep this simple and to the point.

I have been through some shit you would not believe, im not going to "vent" it here. Just take my word for it.

Stop looking at "self improvement", or "stoicism", dating advice, gym routines, etc. That should be something that comes last, not first. You will fail to commit to any changes if you do not do this first.

The first thing you need to do is write out your entire life, and be brutally honest and fair - no one is going to read it but you, so don't feel shame about it. This should be 3-4 pages long, the longer it is the better. Figure out where things went wrong - stop blaming yourself.

Take a deterministic view on things. Everyone is prone to making different types of mistakes, we are products of our environment. This does not mean you take 0 responsibility. You cannot take responsibility for something until you understand why the cards you were dealt in life added up to where you are now.

You will not get to where you want to go until you figure out how you got to where you are now.

Stop blaming yourself, stop blaming other men, stop blaming women, etc. If your parents made mistakes that messed you up figure out what those were and what they could have done differently. So do not "blame" them, just view it as a mistake that was pre-determined to happen based on the cards you were dealt in life.

Take a step back from your ego, put your shame aside, pretend as though your life was already pre-determined up until this point so that you can forgive yourself and figure out what went wrong, and outline what happened.

Take what you wrote and are comfortable sharing to a therapist or mental health professional and go over things for a few sessions - so you can "air out" your dirty laundry in a way where you don't have to blame yourself. This process could take a month or 2.

This will just help you commit and understand your actually serious about making a change - you do not want to be in therapy for life - thats not the point of therapy.

Do those things and now your ready to start over again... Now you have taken responsibility and confronted it in the real world not just "vent" and "rant" online.

Now you may decide w/e the fuck self-improvement stoic bullshit that you think will work for you, or whatever you want to do in life, go for it.

But you will never get to the future if you do not deal with the past. The main issue I see men have is they are stuck in the past - the only way you get out of that is by figuring it out so you can move on.

Men like sports and video games because they are games with rules that make sense - we like games that are "fair". When you lose in a game you understand you lost fair and square. When you win, you understand you won fair and square. Sore losers are pathetic, and winners who like to rub it in the losing teams face are pieces of shit.

By taking a more deterministic view on things, and looking at your life from a wider perspective, you will start to see what the "rules" of the game were, and who the players were, who was on your team, who was against you, what your stats were, etc. This will help you understand why you lost on some things and why you won on other things. Strengths and Weaknesses.

Just my advice, this is what I did and it helped me.

Genuinely dont want to be rude, but I see so many women online saying they are autistic now. I look at there profiles they have a husband, kids, and can hold down a job, as well as an active social life.

As someone with an actual mental health disability it is kind of frustrating that it feels like people are "identifying as neurodivergent" and claiming to be disabled in order to avoid the fact that they actually are just normal people with the same problems everyone else has?

I dont want to be rude/mean here. Is this actually a real thing? I could be wrong, its just highly suspicious to me, how can someone have a mental disability if they had no trouble finding a successful relationship, raising kids, bought a home, have a job, regularly go out with friends, etc.

Has there been an increase in the number of people coming into psychiatry offices claiming they have a condition that you immediately know they don't have?

I've been casually looking through alot of the gender wars subreddits and dating subreddits. As well as seeing alot of posts throughout social media on this topic.

I am a hetero single male. I actually agree with much of the stuff I see on here however no one can correctly identify the root of the problem, I believe I have.

We are stuck in a self-propagating feedback loop that will basically make men and women both hate eachother more and more, and I think will lead to societal collapse within our lifetimes. The root cause is modern life, hence the fascination men and some women have with "trad" lifestyle bullshit. The problem is they idolize the 1950's, which was not a good time to be a woman. It was actually then that this whole problem started - when men forced women to simply be housewives.

I am into women now, I used to not be, and it was not my fault either - I was brainwashed.

For women reading this, theres one thing you need to understand - we live in opposite worlds largely due to the marketing/advertising industry and social media. This leads to constant misunderstandings.

The first thing men have on there mind is sex - this is true. However it doesn't mean that is the only thing we care about. What ends up happening is men lie to women in order to get sex and pretend that they like them. Women then get lied to so much that when a genuine guy comes around wanting sex they lump him in with all the others and arent able to look past this since they are reminded of past trauma's. In addition to all this everyones brains are simply broken today which exacerbates the situation exponentially.

The problem is the scale of society. Humans evolved to be in groups of 500-2000 people. (See Dunbars Number as well).

Typically what is supposed to happen ideally is a man comes to a woman looking for sex - she rejects him, then he goes back to the drawing boards improves himself and empathizes more with her, learns how to respect her and accept eachothers differences, etc - if he is incapable of doing this then hes not worth your time. The issue I find is that now no one is allowed to make mistakes and go through the learning process, we just move onto the next and onto the next.

Today young people are not able to go through this standard process of selection. Instead guys are simply looking for sex but are unable to "follow up" after there initial rejection and demonstrate that they have improved in a way that the woman is able to clearly see. In the past this wasn't a problem because we all lived in smaller communities and were not given 100,000 potential choices which makes it feel like the perfect match is just right around the corner, now both genders are figuring out thats not how things are supposed to work and are pointing fingers at eachother.

This is why men become addicted to pornography and only fans girls, instagram models, etc. In the environment we evolved we were not supposed to see this many attractive naked women - its to much stimulation for the avg joe. Unattractive women are exposed to this as well and become insanely depressed because they see 1000 attractive women online and compare themselves to them and they see all the male attention those women are getting while they get none of the same attention, they then place there anger on men similar to how the "incels" place there anger on women.

This also explains the "incels" obsessing over the "chad" taking all there women. The fact is hetero women are obviously attracted to tall good looking men who are successful. But those men never have to "go back to the drawing boards and improve/self reflect". They simply move onto the next woman, because as you folks say - "men are not into women".

The end result is male sexual frustration is at an all time high, and females cannot find a decent man. Our "self reflection" phase is done collectively online in echo chambers rather then internally as individuals or seeking advice from the village elder which is how we evolved. Thats how you get things like the "manosphere" and this massive "self-help" industry that profits on it. Neither side is willing to accept there inherent flaws - which is part of being human - we don't want to be humans anymore we want to be something else now I guess.

I learned that what is best is for men to embrace womens feminine side and her interests but also keep enough distance and maintain there own masculinity - this shows confidence in ones own masculinity rather then viewing femininity as a threat to there own ego. This is why I agree with this subreddit on this issue, however ideally women would do the same for us in return otherwise things will go out of balance and the relationship will fail.

The problem I have now is basically its to late - I've figured it out but ya, now all men are suspect, I dont blame you. Its attention spans being so low that is also a major factor here. People are supposed to be able to make mistakes then demonstrate that they have learned but that is not happening today due to short attention spans - therefore there is no incentive to learn and improve, no incentive to actually change. Its sort of like we watch the beginning of a movie, then skip to a different movie before even getting to the middle or seeing how it ends.

Everything is fast paced, keep swiping to the next one on the app, keep doom scrolling, watch shorts form vids, etc.

Anyway I realized this after I initially wanted sex from a woman - I was an idiot so she rejected me as I deserved. I then went back to the drawing boards to self reflect and improve myself over the course of a year, I then messaged her back trying to apologize for my behavior and demonstrate that I've changed. She then just called me a narcissist who thinks I am "entitled" to her or stalking her, I said im sorry you feel that way then deleted the convo - thats how I knew it was time to move on, but I was kinda shocked at the amount of anger she had lashing out at me, that definitely wasnt the woman i initially met. Women will watch one 2 minute video on tiktok and think they are psychiatrists who can diagnose everyone. The fact is there are good and bad men/women - case closed. Stop pretending its only the other side, its both sides being delusional now. Literally everyones brain is broken.

Anyway I hope my perspective brings some clarity to someone.

This is the dystopia I live in now, so i've basically given up on dating - it simply does not work within the current framework. Its kind of ironic, I have a sense of humor about it. As soon as a man learns to actually "be into women" he is then rejected for actually being into them since that is an automatic "red flag" or "abnormal" now and women (just like men) do not have the time to stop, take a deep breath, and think critically anymore.

That gorilla was not going to kill that little boy.

We dont let little boys explore and be "free". That little boy was more free inside the gorilla cage, it was curiosity - exploration - self fulfillment. Dont take this the wrong way with regards to him being black - that has nothing to do with it. What I mean to say is that we are now more enslaved then animals in the zoo basically. We dont let little kids explore, we are way to overprotective - yes some kids will die from being stupid, thats normal, no this is not an endorsement of pure social darwinism - theres a difference between having basic rules to keep people safe, for instance we need speed limits in school zones thats just common sense.

In the case of that little boy hes obviously quite curious and has a need to explore and go against the rules, those are the boys that grow up to be explorers, inventors, leaders, etc. He didnt give a shit about his safety, he wanted to fucking see the animal up close and said fuck it these adults are idiots im going into the cage so i can see this thing. If I was that boys age and saw him do it, and he came out alive, I would think hes the coolest kid in school and would immediately want to be his friend and play with him.

Thats why the meme wont die. I want to be that boy that jumped in the gorilla cage sometimes, I think everyone does to some extent, i just wanna see what would happen. We never let kids do what they want even when they clearly understand the risks and consent to it. Its part of becoming an adult. Its why today it feels like everyone is childish and petty. We are over-socialized overly civilized, and this is not natural. Any form of socialism needs to take this into account.

Funnily enough there are several cases of men jumping into lion cages, many of them do get killed by the lion, there are even NSFW videos of it. However, those guys were idiots. A gorilla is not the same thing as a lion, the gorilla can actually think somewhat and make up its own mind whether or not its gonna kill you. Where as the lion its just pure instincts its going to hunt you.

Apes are our closest relatives, and we killed one to avoid a lawsuit. This is just adults trying to save money, it doesnt help.

the amount of sex with women u had to do to turn a hippopotamus into a whale or whatever, took millions of years.

when will north korean living standards surpass the USA?