u/u_dont_know_me_hehe

So I just graduated with a BS Psych degree and planning ako mag-boards next year. Right now, I really need to work while reviewing due to financial reasons.

Medyo torn ako between two applications:

• Option A: HR at a local skincare company. It’s fully WFH and pioneering yung role, so feel ko mapapasabak ako sa experience. Malaking plus yung WFH setup kasi looking forward ako sa review time for the boards.
• Option B: Customer Sales Representative at Accenture. Onsite siya pero malapit lang naman sa bahay ko. Advantage is stable corporate benefits like HMO, allowances, etc.

Career-wise, alin kaya ang mas magandang simulan as a Psych grad? Mas okay ba i-linya ko na sa HR yung first job ko, or pick Accenture for the stability and benefits?

So I just graduated with a BS Psych degree and planning ako mag-boards next year. Right now, I really need to work while reviewing due to financial reasons.

Medyo torn ako between two applications:

• Option A: HR at a local skincare company. It’s fully WFH and pioneering yung role, so feel ko mapapasabak ako sa experience. Malaking plus yung WFH setup kasi looking forward ako sa review time for the boards.
• Option B: Customer Sales Representative at Accenture. Onsite siya pero malapit lang naman sa bahay ko. Advantage is stable corporate benefits like HMO, allowances, etc.

Career-wise, alin kaya ang mas magandang simulan as a Psych grad? Mas okay ba i-linya ko na sa HR yung first job ko, or pick Accenture for the stability and benefits?

Baka may unhealed trauma at sobrang lala lang talaga ng trust issues ko. I'm currently working through it with a psychiatrist because I know these fears didn't come out of nowhere. As a woman, ang hirap lang maging at peace kapag nasa relationship ako. Either natitrigger yung retroactive jealousy ko, o na-aanxious ako na baka may wandering eyes yung partner ko. Social media made it even worse. Naging sobrang galing ko mag-observe at mag-analyze ng behavior. Kahit mga salita na nag-i-slip sa bibig ng partner ko, napapansin ko. Sobrang hypervigilant ako to the point na naging sobrang bilis kong makakita ng patterns. Minsan pakiramdam ko nauuna ko pang ma-realize yung mga bagay tungkol sa kanila bago pa nila maamin sa sarili nila. Kapag ikaw yung nagmamahal, ang sakit dalhin ng mga napapansin mo. Pero dahil wala ka pang concrete proof, sa mata ng partner mo mukha ka lang praning o overthinking. Lately, napapaisip ako kung ganito na ba talaga ang long-term relationships ngayon. Do people eventually just settle? Is that what relationships have become in modern dating? I know maraming dahilan kung bakit nagbago ang dating culture. Social media gave us a lot of opportunities to connect, pero it also amplified a lot of unhealthy behaviors.

As a straight woman, minsan feeling ko doomed ako as long as I'm dating men. Oo, "not all men," I know. Pero minsan napapaisip ako, ano ba talaga yung chances na mapunta ka sa emotionally mature na lalaki when so many unhealthy behaviors seem so normalized? Porn addiction, endless thirst traps, IG followings na parang all-girls school, constant validation-seeking, cheating stories everywhere... One thing that genuinely disgusts me is how accepted excessive porn consumption has become. I'm not talking about every single man, pero ang daming lalaki na parang sobrang desensitized na sa sex and intimacy that it starts spilling over into their daily lives. It's like they're constantly chasing novelty. Every scroll has to be another attractive woman. Every algorithm becomes sexualized. Every conversation somehow circles back to sex.And I honestly cannot understand men whose following list is full of girls who are barely legal or intentionally marketed to look extremely young. Oo, adults sila legally. Pero bakit kailangan laging hanapin yung pinakamalapit sa linya? Every time I see an Instagram following that's basically an endless feed of 18- or 19-year-old influencers, something about it just feels so unsettling.

Minsan naiisip ko kung kaya ba talagang magmahal ng ibang tao without constantly centering their own ego, validation, fantasies, or desires. Hindi ko ma-explain nang maayos, pero parang ang daming lalaki na emotionally disconnected sa impact ng actions nila. Tapos kapag natapos yung relationship, genuinely hindi nila maintindihan kung bakit sobrang nasaktan o na-burnout yung girlfriend nila.

I'm not trying to hate on men. Pagod lang talaga ako.

I'm the type of person who gives everything I can in a relationship. I communicate. I accept constructive criticism. Kapag alam kong ako yung mali, I'll bring it up in therapy, try to understand where it came from, and actively work on changing it. Pero based sa personal experiences ko—even dating older and younger men—parang paulit-ulit kong nakikita yung parehong patterns.

Women are expected to be everything.

Someone to have sex with.

Someone to clean up after them.

Someone who validates their opinions.

Someone who enthusiastically supports their hobbies while yours barely matter.

Someone who carries the emotional labor.

Someone who eventually becomes the mother of their children.

And after all that emotional investment, parang ang dali lang minsan palitan for someone new because the novelty wore off.

Ang daming lalaki ang nagfo-focus sa gym, pera, at external success because they think that's what women value most. Wala namang masama doon. Pero sana kasing effort din yung pagde-develop ng character, values, emotional maturity, accountability, empathy, at perspective. Pakialam ko sa abs at biceps? I need someone who will hold my hand through hard times. Someone who believes in me kapag pinanghihinaan ako ng loob. Someone who chooses love not just when it's exciting, but when it's difficult. Because that's what I think real love is.

I also know that my previous relationships held me back in a lot of ways. Ang hirap mag-recover kapag pakiramdam mo ikaw yung sumalo ng lahat ng emotional damage pagkatapos ng breakup. It takes years to rebuild yourself. Lately, mas gusto ko na lang mag-show up para sa sarili ko. I want to see what I'm capable of when my energy isn't constantly being spent fixing someone else or carrying the emotional weight of a relationship. I think my biggest fear isn't even ending up alone. It's ending up with someone, giving them years of my life, pouring so much of myself into the relationship, only to realize I never got to fully explore my own potential because I kept choosing them over myself.

I know there's comfort in feeling desired by the person you love. But the thought of giving someone that much of myself, only for them to betray me somewhere along the way, is honestly one of the saddest things I can imagine. Maybe that's why I feel like I have to choose. Either I invest deeply in love and risk losing myself. Or I invest in my career, passions, and ambitions to protect my peace. Ang unfair na parang kailangan mong mamili.

Whenever I see genuinely healthy couples, naiisip ko na maybe secure love really does exist. Pero minsan hindi ko maiwasang isipin na sobrang layo ng ratio ng healthy relationships kumpara sa unhealthy ones. Maybe unhealthy relationships are just louder. Maybe my own experiences are biasing the way I see things. I honestly don't know anymore.

At the end of the day, all I've ever wanted was to love someone genuinely and be loved with the same honesty, consistency, loyalty, and care in return. I don't think that's asking for too much.

Hi everyone, I am just a little lost and nervous when it comes to going to my first therapy or consultation with the psychiatrist. For those who are used to the process or have experienced going to therapy, what do you usually say to the doctor? I know I have dysfunction and traumas in various aspects of my life. But I'm afraid with the little time I have with the doctor I might not give a proper context of my problem with my mental health and I'm also afraid to be misdiagnosed (if ever). So should I organize my thougts first before going to the doctor?

Hi, I recently went through a devastating break up. I need to to cope in a way that I won't fall back into smoking or having this terrible relationship with food. Can you guys suggest workouts that I can do at home, I want to lose weight (around 10 kg) but I also want to help and regulate my nervous system because I can't afford therapy yet. I'm really trying to be healthy and distract myself basically. I also go on runs, I want to go to the gym but that can be expensive too.

tara na, i-celebrate na natin yan at parang hindi talaga para sa'tin tong taon na toh. this cannot be the life na prinotektahan ko ng face mask nung 2020.

I am torn and need advice or at least input.

Enrolled ako sa review center right now for the upcoming BLEPP, pero super bigat ng pinagdadaanan ko physically, emotionally, and financially. I won't elaborate pero kung may baba yung rock bottom nandun ata ako.

Here are my options:

• Option A: Push through this year. Magtatrabaho ako ng Mon-Fri, tapos review center ng Sat-Sun. Ang takot ko lang, baka ma-burnout ako ng malala at bumagsak kasi my brain is purely in survival mode right now.
• Option B: Work now, take the boards next year. Maghahanap muna ako ng entry-level or HR job ngayon para maging financially stable at ma-regulate ang mental health ko. Kakayanin ko pa rin naman tapusin ang review season na 'to para makuha lahat ng materials at lec-vids, pero mag-low pressure maintenance study muna ako tapos next year na mag-eexam kapag okay na ako.

Syempre andun yung guilt na nasa review center na ako and mas mataas raw ang chance pumasa plus may momentum if mag-take ngayon, pero I'm really worried rin na may scholarship savings won't sustain me for so long, but I'm also afraid of the fact na I'm graduating without latin honors this year tapos hindi pa prc board passer.

I'm open to advice and inputs!

I would like to ask lang, what did you do to stay in contact with DOST for the Return of Service. Open to all advice, especially the technicalities of it. Thank you!