u/uufocafe

Day 7 of having mono, only got diagnosed that it was mono today. Day 2 was the start of the peak of my sore throat. I have other symptoms like headaches, chills, slight nausea, etc. (no fatigue weirdly?) but NOTHING compares to this sore throat, it is the worst I’ve had by fair. It hurts when I swallow, hurts when I’m doing nothing, eating anything causes a burning sensation that has left me nibbling my way through starvation (doctors gave me lidocaine and we’ll see how this works).

Just this one symptom has messed up my ability to talk, to eat, to drink, to sleep (can only get a few hours at a time through the pain), and everything else. From what I can tell the most chronic symptom for most people is the fatigue and fevers. I genuinely don’t know what I will do if this sore throat goes on more than another week, I’m in such agony I can’t focus on anything and it’s depressing me. I just lay in bed only able to pay attention to my phone through the pain while hunger eats away at me and I get my sleep in 30 minute-hour increments. I can deal with not kissing for months, being cold, or having headaches but this swollen throat is the worst thing of them all.

Was that part a chronic symptom for any of you or did it go away relatively early?

Sometimes I watch Instagram content (I know, my first mistake) and see all these women who even though they might not be “trad” wives, seem to still be taking care of their husbands and it seems like this is what a lot of men yearn for in a relationship, to be with a homemaker.

I guess one of my biggest insecurities is that I hate cooking and I’m uninterested in learning how to do it. I can’t even blame people for wanting a partner who knows how to do that because damn, me too! Luckily my boyfriend knows how to cook quite well but I worry he’ll resent me one day for not being one of those kinds of women who does that so he isn’t stuck doing it all the time.

Otherwise in long term relationships my responsibilities normally are to contribute to the bills 50/50 and clean (either my half of the chores or if the other person is working more/cooking, I’d just do it all so it’s fair).

I guess I get insecure about people’s discussions on what we are supposed to bring to the table in a relationship. If you split responsibilities, are kind and communicative and in love, is that not enough? Or does there have to be some extravagant “providing” aspect?

I posted this over in the sub for extreme horror literature because I thought they might have more expertise (since this is an uncommon and controversial subgenre) but I figure it wouldn’t hurt to try.

I read this novel in 2014/2015, got it from a thrift store so it must have already been a bit old by then and it did have that type of vibe to it. I took the jacket off so I have no memory of the cover but it was a pretty thick book.

Here’s what details I can remember:

* A group of young adults car breaks down and they have to get help
* They somehow are found or stumble upon the home of a deranged hillbilly family that may or may not be cannibalistic
* The family consists at the very least of two parents the stereotypical dopey/slow but brutish son
* The location of a meat freezer is frequently utilized
* The most identifiably unique detail is a scene where the son takes one of the girls and feeds her what I can confidently say is referred to as “pudding.” I also have a vague memory of him using her as a dart board, but am less confident on that part

This is all I got. I’m aware it seems similar to Off Season by Jack Ketchum but having scanned the Wikipedia article and searching up keywords on the Kindle version, it doesn’t seem right but definitely a similar vibe. Any ideas?

Okay, this may not be the place for this but this book got me into the genre as a preteen and I’ve never had luck finding it from a combination of lack of detail and the fact that extreme horror isn’t common in other book talk circles.

Here’s all I am able to remember:

* No memory of the cover cuz I took the sleeve off but it was a thick book
* A group of young adults car breaks down or their tire pops while on some sort of outing
* They somehow end up at a hillbilly-type family’s house
* There’s definitely two parents and the dopey/slow brute son stereotype. Could be more family members but unsure
* I remember there are a couple of scenes in a meat freezer in the family owns that imply cannibalism
* And the most identifiable scene is that the son takes one of the girls to a room and force feeds her some kind of liquid that I am nearly 100% certain was referred to as “pudding.” He also might have used her as a dart board? That part is a bit fuzzy

I read this in 2014/2015 and I found it in a thrift store, so the odds are high that it had come out at most a few years prior before ending up there but I’d guess that it was at least a decade older.

Anyone have any clue? The most similar thing I’ve heard of is Off Season by Jack Ketchum, which I’ve never fully read but I skimmed the Wikipedia article to try and see, and it doesn’t seem right.

Just my genetics but I’ve had a hairy lower back/bum since I was a kid and it’s always been an insecurity (parents literally called me the american furback as a “joke” 😐)

I want to do something about it but I’m scared because right now it’s very dark which makes it visible but otherwise is very soft

My belly hair was like that as a teen and I messed up by shaving it and now it comes in like pubes 😭

If I wanted to get make it less bad and still have it grow back soft should I use nair or maybe bleach it? I’ve never bleached body hair before and the idea scares me a lil but I am down

I (24F) met my boyfriend (25M) about 5 months ago. He told me that he no longer drank and was a year sober. I was a little hesitant because I grew up in an addict household (albeit drugs and not alcohol) but I figured a year was good progress and I liked him a lot so I kept seeing him.

About 3 months in he relapsed due to a fight with his dad. I would have been more understanding had he not started belligerently texting and calling me over 40 times, saying some hurtful things and so obviously revealing that he was drunk that there was no way he could lie about it the next morning.

We had a long talk and I told him that can’t happen again the same way it did, that I could forgive and help him through a relapse but not if it’s paired with verbal abuse. I told him I wanted him to stop managing it on his own and to get a therapist and start going to meetings if possible. He’s already on some medicine that’s supposed to help.

About a week later me and him were in another city for the weekend. We had a small disagreement about a different reoccurring problem but it really wasn’t that big of a deal so I took a nap. The next day I was cleaning up the hotel room and I found empty alcohol bottles stashed in two places, I kept quiet about it to see if he’d mention it on his own. The previous conflict resumed and it got pretty heated and for some reason he blurted out that he was drunk? But then took it back and said he wasn’t and just thought it would make his anger seem less bad if he had an excuse for it.

So that’s when I revealed that I found the bottles, and he admitted he had drank but it was the day before when I had napped, not that night. He also lied about the amount, said it was just a shot but I found much more than a shot.

We got into a fight and made up best we could, these two instances were within the same week so I know that addicts typically relapse not just once but multiple little times in a row, so I decided to count it under the same instance since he hadn’t had time to start doing the things I asked of him.

But it had been weighing heavy on me because if he was telling the truth about being sober for a year, then relapsing twice while knowing me makes me feel like I’m not doing much to make his life better. About 1 1/2 months have passed since then and as far as I know, he hasn’t drank or made it obvious to me.

I did find a single beer can on his floor which he didn’t address until I forced him to acknowledge it and he said it was his friends. He had also called me while his friend was over and his friend was 100% fucked up on drugs for sure, I’m not sure if he was drunk. My boyfriend also seemed a little different but not enough that I could tell if he was just more stoned than usual.

Last night me and him had a disagreement because he was having a bad day and letting it affect the way he spoke to me. He left me on delivered for an hour, and during that time he accidentally thumbs up reacted to one of my texts 4 messages up, sent me a gibberish text that half made sense (like it wasn’t a key smash), then reacted to that too.

I called once and he didn’t pick up, so I texted him and told him I was worried and wanted him to call me. He responded back instantly and said he’d call me in a second, an hour goes by and he never did so I tried once more, he didn’t pick up and I went to bed.

In my head, what I think happened is he went and got drunk whether with his friends or not, was reading our texts and accidentally reacted to messages and sent a message probably meant for someone else, then didn’t pick up my calls because he didn’t want me to be able to tell he was drunk.

In his story as told the next day, he fell asleep on his couch holding his phone and kept briefly waking up half asleep and going on it before drifting back to sleep. He said he agreed to call upon waking up one of these times and needed a second to get his bearings, but fell back asleep again before he could.

I struggle to comprehend how someone accidentally unlocks their phone and types that stuff in their sleep 3 different times over an hour but I digress, it’s the story I got and he’s doubled down on it.

Because of this I only really have two choices, believe or don’t believe. He seems upset and defensive that everyone thinks he’s drunk when he’s really just in a bad mood, and that everyone gets paranoid about it.

But I told him it happened so recently and I’ve only really just met him and he’s attempted to lie to me about it twice, so I have no reason to believe it wouldn’t happen a third time. He says he understands that but this time he’s telling the truth and he dislikes that he hasn’t made a better impression in the time that’s passed and built the trust back up.

Is this just part of being with someone in recovery? Having to constantly feel like you’re possibly being lied to and never knowing for sure?

TL;DR: Suspect boyfriend relapsed a third time, unsure if I’m overly paranoid or if it’s normal to be so worried

Otherwise put, written arguments > vocal arguments.

I hate arguments that happen in-person or if I get in a disagreement with someone over text and they call me. Half the time, if you argue out loud the following things happen:

1. Someone says something rude spur of the moment that they normally wouldn’t say

2. Someone says something and doesn’t fully think the wording through and it offends the other person latches onto that phrasing and misconstrues what they originally meant

3. Emotions come into play so there is yelling, crying (which makes it more difficult to maintain your point), etc.

Over text or letter there are many upsides. When you get a text, you can really decide how you want to respond. You read it over and fully understand what they said, and you can formulate a good response without having to think on your feet and accidentally be offensive. A lot of the times valid points get rejected because someone will criticize your tone or volume, this is not applicable here.

I also feel like you can trust written word more. Yes during an IRL fight you may take someone’s words as truth, but I think it’s more heat of the moment than anything. If someone writes something out and sends it, it feels more weighted. Then you never have those future arguments where someone is like “I never said that!” because then you can pull up the receipts and hold them accountable.

There are some downsides to not understanding tone and the other person having to be good at writing to get their point across, but other than that I think it’s definitely preferable

So I (24F) live with my mom (60F). I went through a break up a few months ago and moved back in with her to get back on my feet. She told me her apartment is always open to me because she views it as her way of repaying me for my bad childhood.

For a little context, she is an addict and she caused us to be homeless and in abusive situations for my entire childhood. She’s stolen from me many times and I’ve been taken by CPS thrice. Regardless, she’s been sober for a few years and I was grateful for a place to stay while I’m full time in college which prevents me from working enough to pay rent elsewhere.

She is on a housing program which means her rent is fully paid for and she gets a rebate. When I moved in I had a part time job so I had to pay income based rent and she lost her rebate, but 2 months in I quit and now we get an even bigger rebate because we’re two people which I let her fully take. Otherwise we pay the phone bill, utility, and renter’s insurance 50/50. I pay the Wi-Fi and my own bills like car insurance, car loan, student loans, some of the streaming services, etc. from my savings while I wait for summer to start. She buys food with her food stamps and by going to food pantries but I don’t really eat a lot of what she gets and just buy my own stuff which I’ll also share with her.

She’s always had car problems, when I first moved in she took out a loan to get what was supposed to be her forever car. About a month or two ago however, she drove it without oil and rendered it unusable unless she gets another loan. She goes back and forth on whether she was aware there wasn’t any oil in it depending on whether she’s willing to admit fault that day.

As you know this time of year is the end of the semester and thus finals. I go to class full-time 5 days a week (30 min commute each way) and I have 5 courses. Needless to say, I spend a lot of time on my coursework and have a lot of stuff to do for finals. I also just got into a relationship so when I find the time (usually once a week) I go spend a day and night at my boyfriend’s house. It’s basically the only fun I get to have out of the house.

However because my mom’s car broke, I now have to be the one to take her anywhere she needs to go (I refuse to let her borrow it because of her past with accidents). She doesn’t necessarily have any responsibilities so it’s mostly because she wants to go to the store or do other errands. I’ve taken her to the store, appointments, food pantries, etc etc many times in the past month. I even got my boyfriend to drive her to the airport for free with these gas prices. However it’s not enough for her, if it were up to her it would be 3-4 times a week.

The problem about bringing her to the store is the length. She has ADHD and she’s a stoner. Last time I brought her to Walmart she made me turn around 3 times because each time she forgot something (once was just she forgot to wear jewelry!) and then engaged in conversation with someone outside for 10 minutes, all while i was sick and wanted to lie down. Then she goes in for two hours, comes out and then tells me when she gets home she forgot a bunch of stuff and will need to go back sometime soon. I simply do not have the time for shenanigans like this.

Recently I made a plan to go to my boyfriends on the 1st, which as many know is when food stamps drop. One thing to know is we are not at a lack for food. She hits up 3 different food pantries and we have a hoard of nonperishables but it’s not what she “wants”. She acted like she was giving me a choice and recognizing I was busy because she asked if I would rather take her shopping that day or to an hour long loan appointment before my class on Thursday. I chose the latter because it fit my schedule better and she said okay.

I came home that weekend and I could hear her on the phone complaining about me to her friend when she thought I wasn’t there. She was saying how I don’t realize how good I have it, don’t appreciate the opportunity of living her, and abandoned her for the weekend with no food (factually and objectively not true).

I interrupted the phone call and we got in a pretty big fight about how much I make her feel like a burden and that she has to beg me to take her places. We each said some pretty hurtful things to one another and I’m not proud of all of what I said but there were low blows all around.

When I brought up that I didn’t leave her with no food and she gave me a choice and I picked the loan appointment, she said that I should’ve just done both and she shouldn’t have to make me choose. None of this was said to my face until now, she kept telling me she was gonna ask her aunt to do it! I told her I’m not a mind reader.

She also kept referencing an interaction last week where I came into her room and complained about our buildings washing machines and I said I’ll just start pre-washing the extra dirty stuff in the sink. She said something like “Or we can just make a day/few hours of it and go to the laundromat together.” I did kind of sigh because she always does this, tries to turn something into an excuse for me to take her somewhere. I said I didn’t care that much and that even though the washer is mediocre, the convenience of it being a walk down the stairs beats going all the way to the laundromat because I can go sit in my bed in my PJ’s while I wait. But she just kept pushing and pushing til I just said “Damn, anything to get you out of the house huh?”

I guess this really upset her and I shouldn’t have vocalized it but it’s genuinely an everyday thing and I cannot be a personal chauffeur or responsible for her being stuck in the house just because I live with her and have a car.

There’s so much more but this is the bulk of it and it’s just so exhausting.

I’ve (24F) always had an easy time orgasming (compared to some women). In my first relationship I usually finished within 20-30 mins from oral (and sometimes on occasion with hands/other friction). By myself with my hands it would take around that time as well but both ways could go upwards to an hour.

Last August when I stopped having sex I bought my first sex toy (a magic wand) to tide me over while I was single. I had never used one because my ex didn’t allow it and I had always heard it was way better than using your own hands.

And I love it, it is really good. I’m a very horny person so I use it like once a day (for multiple orgasms in a row) but sometimes I go 1-2 days without using it. Anyway flash forward and I started seeing someone a few months ago. We have great chemistry and I find him very attractive but I can’t seem to orgasm with him and it makes him insecure.

Now from an objective standpoint he is not super skilled with certain sex acts so I know that is a factor, but even as he continues to get better as he learns my body, I find myself struggling even when it feels good. Like even with my ex before using a sex toy he only made me finish with hand stuff a few times, but I know it’s possible because I’ve done it to myself. My current partner isn’t great at oral so we’re focusing on hand stuff right now so I don’t know if the struggle is that it’s hard for me in general or if the toy is messing up my sensitivity. At most I’ve had like a “mini” orgasm.

I did test this recently by using just my hands one time and I did eventually orgasm but it took a little longer than usual and didn’t feel as good as the toy.

I want to keep being able to masterbate since we have some distance between us and I only see him 1-2 times a week, but I wonder if I should cut the toy out completely and switch back to hands even though it’s less pleasurable, or only use it a certain amount a week? How much usage messes up your tolerance?