u/watermelonsuns

I AM SO EXCITED!!!! And it sounds so pretty calling them that. It also creates a nice distinction between the first part of the ACOTAR series and this new chapter!!!

(And sorry if it’s the wrong tag. It’s on Sarah’s website and IG so I don’t think it can be a spoiler now?)

I’m sick so can’t make it anymore. :( If you’d like I’ll send a video recording of the tickets and/ or do it over FaceTime. It’s in lower balcony 1.

Sorry in advance if this is really stupid. I went on the train today and bought a youth ticket when I’m a full grown adult. (The youth ticket is waayyy less expensive.) The ticket checker came, asked me for ID once she saw my ticket and I panicked, tried to lie my way out of it, and failed miserably. It sucks and was embarrassing but I get it, I messed up and was handed the rightful consequences. However, now I feel like horrible. I know what I did was bad, but I have the tendency to think about negative experiences over and over and over. To the point where I feel like I need to repent or something. I still think about little mishaps even as far back as my childhood and still feel guilty over them. I feel like a horrible human being because I usually follow the rules. Heck even when I’m walking I make sure to stick to the right side because that’s “a rule.” I even follow rules I make but don’t seem to be things people ever think about. And I nearly never break rules. But I did this time and feel like I’m walking with a monstrous sin. I feel like crying. I was okay with it at first. Just a silly life lesson, but as I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it and it gets worse and worse in my head. A random lady now knows me as a liar (a bad one) and a cheat. I knew I shouldn’t have done it and still did it. I know better than that and still did it. I feel like I don’t deserve to go on the train anymore. In my head if I confess to parents about it, because I genuinely feel so bad, they are going to be disappointed. I feel like I’ve fallen so far from where I stand being a rule follower, even of rules that no one else seems to follow. :(

Again sorry if this is stupid. It probably is. And lame. And I’m overreacting to something I deserve. I just feel so bad about it. Like I can’t show my face in public anymore because I’m a horrible, stupid liar and cheater. I needed to vent. I’m also worried because like I said it’s probably going to stick with me until I die with how I can’t let go of anything that makes me feel guilty and ashamed.

Thanks for reading (;-;) sorry :/ for my crash out

I constantly think about my body in some situation where “body horror” is present. I’m not talking about the “common” way of self harm. I’ve always had different thoughts. Thoughts that probably most of the population doesn’t think. Even before I turned 5. So I’m used to constantly thinking about gore in general and in relation to my body. People have fixations on physical things or something that comes from outside of them, generally. Or that’s the most well known ones. But mine has been violence, gore, blood, for a really long, long time. Or sometimes it’s more like just putting the body through changes that are impossible. Like being pulled apart but then putting yourself back together.

I haven’t ever acted out on them. Every now and then I wish I could. But I don’t. Some of them would lead to severe injury or even death for myself or others. And I don’t think about them because I want to die or kill. It’s just that realistically, following the laws of nature, there would be no going back. Life’s not a book or tv show. That’s what I mean about violent and bloody thoughts. Whether I’m thinking something good or bad my thoughts for the most part always lead to something physical and not pleasant. (Or so the general population says to me.) And I like it. In part because they’ve become comforting thoughts since I’m so used to them being in my head.

I wonder if it will ever go away. If I’ll be ever be pushed past just thoughts. (I nor anyone else in danger at the moment. Like I said I think it but have never done it, and I don’t have any plans to. Everyone is safe.

I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that I don’t like being human. I feel different, I am different. So physically I would like to be different in ways that’s not some sort of chronic illness. Like a body in a sci-fi or fantasy story that’s not human so things that would be detrimental to humans are nothing. Which ties to it probably also having something to do with how I go about the world the way they do in books. And I mainly read fantasy. So when that’s not how the actual world works it’s like I’m uneven.

Is there anyone else like this? Who has had these thoughts or something alike for nearly their whole life or for part of their life?
I know it’s not normal for the general population, but is it also not normal for autistics. Am I too far out?

Y’ALL. 😐 These past 2-3 days I started to *feel* my eyebrow piercing. As in, when I moved, you know my body, I could feel the metal and it moving a little with my steps. Today I take a closer look and what the hellie it looks like it’s about to fall off. 😐 it’s currently being held in by a thin and small piece of skin, the bar is nearly in full display. It’s so near the surface that my skin looks more like a little bit of gunk on it rather than a nice piece of flesh. 🫪

Aside from me wondering WTF, how did that happen, can I go in and have this fixed ASAP? Or do I have to take it out, let it heal, and then get it pierced again? :( 😔

See Out Loud has been the only song I’ve listened to this last day and a half!!!! I swear to y’all that song already lives in my veins in my bones! IN MAAAAAAAH HEART. And “cold without the darkness would feel so strange” GOT ME IN A CHOKEHOLD. They put straight up the musical embodiment of addiction in this song.

To me this song is one of those that instantly became an all time favorite and a song that was destined to be in my life.

Hello :D RIP to my dad’s car. Survived being smashed between two cars, but couldn’t survive a smog check. He has some cars he likes in mind, but that man goes for pretty on the outside rather than, you know, a good quality car. So!

Which car/brands do you recommend that meet the following criteria as much as possible?

hybrid or electric (doesn’t have to be 2026/27, but he has a thing about used anything, why idk so new in terms of never been used not year of the model)

Little to no defects or recalls history

If recalls do happen they are dealt with ease

As safe as possible

Not expensive or hard to repair

Will last a good while (won’t be needing this and that fixed all the time)

A fair price point (doesn’t have to be the cheapest option, and while he can afford an expensive car he’d rather not waste money on an $80,000 car when one for way less can do the same, you know)

Charges with no hassle

Best possible milage

No problems with the battery (I don’t know much about electric cars but I have heard some really bad experiences with charging and the battery)

A sedan or crossover

As little surveillance/ subscription/ Big Brother type of features in the car (I am aware this one might not be possible anymore)

Anything else y’all recommend to look for when buying a car

Thank y’all so much!

I know it’s his money and will be his car, but I’ve seen this man make poor financial decisions throughout my whole life. Lemme stop the cycle. 😭

What’s it like not being able to talk about investments because you don’t make enough money to invest. You barely make enough to make ends meet.

What’s it like worrying about your landlord raising the rent outside of what you’re capable of paying rather than if you should live in a $10,000/m apartment in SF or $6,000/m apartment in Palo Alto?

Whats it like worrying about being laid off because you don’t have a cushy portfolio to support you?

What’s it like changing your grocery store because the one you used to go to got too expensive?

What’s it like knowing you can’t leave because the pay here is still crap but better than everywhere else? Because you have a hard time imagining leaving your life here.

What’s it like making less than six figures in one of the most expensive areas in the country?

I know that people with six figure salaries still have their own worries and whatnots; they still worry about layoffs and the cost of living, etc. But the way they approach it is very different than so many other people. And I’m not just talking about recent grads/ people in their 20s. This affects people of all ages and walks of life.

It blew my mind to hear my friend (mid 20s, software engineer) have an investment portfolio. Meanwhile, at that time, in a month I made less than what she paid in rent. :)

BELOW FACE VALUE 🫪
It’s a floor ticket (just one) I’m selling for $450
FV was $609
Will show proof (receipt and ticket) and would like to do FaceTime while completing the transaction

It’s a floor ticket (just one) I’m selling for $609 < that’s face value but I’m willing to negotiate
Will show your proof and would like to do FaceTime Will completing the transaction

It’s a floor ticket that I paid $609 for.
I’m seeking it at face value but willing to negotiate to a little bit less.
It’s just one ticket.

I’m going to the SF show tonight and it’s about a 1:30-1:00 hour commute so I want to plan accordingly. I obviously don’t want to get there late, but I also don’t want to get there too early. I’m going alone so I would just be sat doing nothing by myself if I go too early.