u/wheatleyisstupid2022

I am so depressed and miserable all the time and a lot of songs by CSH have been cathartic for me and healing. But also I need to listen to music that doesn’t make me sad sometimes.

What are ur fave CSH songs that don’t instantly make you hate urself

There was a service when I lived in Edmonton where you could receive same day counselling for a mental health crisis at some sort of walk in. It was not long term and it was goal orientated, but at the very least it was something.

I’m wondering if there is something similar here. I am struggling very hard at the moment and need help to get through the week until my first appointment with a sliding scale therapist.

I genuinely feel like I am losing my mind and I need to talk to someone. I got almost no help from PES aside from a new distrust of doctors, I am so lost and it’s a miracle I’m even going to work. I had to cold turkey off my antidepressants/anxiety meds because they may have caused the problem that led me to an attempt but almost a week later I think and I feel the same as before and now also incredibly anxious and erratic.

I need to talk to someone!!!! Just for one day!!!! Anything!?! Soon!!! Is there a walk in counsellor ? For youth (kinda, 20), indigenous, gay, ANYTHING!! Sorry I’m desperate idk how to get through this week or the rest of my life

I was on 100 mg of Zoloft, but I believe it was contributing to SI and it eventually led to an attempt that had me in the hospital. After being brought to the mental unit it was recommended I try bupropion instead. He said it’s also good for people who have ADHD, which is good, and safer to take for me because of my family history of bipolar (which I don’t have.) I’m nervous to start, I don’t really understand how it works and coming off the Zoloft cold turkey right now I feel so terrible. Processing everything and starting the new meds after this weekend when I can see my doctor.

I can’t really trust the doctors, but changing my medication is a reasonable idea , I was just so out of it (still mentally not there when this whole conversation was happening,) that I have no idea even if this plan makes any sense. They just forwarded the plan to my GP and didn’t give me anything to leave with. So I’m lost.

I took 800 mg of Zoloft 5 hours ago hoping it would at least hurt, but I feel mostly fine and shaky. I’m scared it’ll like, “kick in” later. Should I go to work 4 hours from now or should I stay home just in case

I’ve only known two reactions

My mother, who cut her own arm after forcing me to show her my scars to “make me understand how she felt.”

And my partner, who used to encourage me to stay sober by offering rewards. But soon realized it was kinda hopeless and became rather apathetic.

I’m wondering what’s in the head of people who have loved ones who self harm. I want to hear stories and stuff. Because my mother never really explained, she just freaks out whenever I’m sad because she doesn’t want me to hurt myself now.

I know to the general population self harm is such a crazy thing, but it’s so natural to me.

I know 20 isn’t exactly like, old. I’m very young. But when I started I was 11, and soon I’ll have been doing this for more than half of my life.

I’m having a really hard time with accepting that I Should stop (I guess, because normal people don’t hurt themselves,) and also realizing that I just don’t want to. I don’t LIKE doing this to myself, but it’s what I know. I like the pain, I like cleaning up. I like the whole process.

It’s bad right now, doing it at work in the bathroom. I don’t even feel that bad.

I’m on 100mg Zoloft and it helps me not feel anxious all day but my head is so quiet if I get the idea to hurt myself I don’t have much reason to stop.

I know this is against human nature and I feel like a freak for still doing it when I’m not a teenager anymore. No one but my partner even knows, it’s not for attention and hasn’t been since I was 11. But I don’t want to stop.

I’m not ready to stop. Do I have to be? When do I have to be ready to stop? The longest I’ve went was 290 days, that was super impressive. A month is my average before I fall back into the cycle.

I just don’t really like the general idea of being alive. I’m scared to get older and still be as bad as I am now. I don’t want my mental illness to degrade my brain and by the time I’m 50 I don’t even know what reality is. I’m scared. Is this my fault? I can’t sleep.

This is just who I’ve been for long. I’ve always done this. I’m tired of feeling like shit, I’m tired of not feeling connected to my body.

I wish I knew it was gonna get better but no matter how difficult or easy my life is I just feel like shit.

I work so hard at my dead end job because I like the approval, but I’m cutting myself in the bathroom behind all my coworkers back. What’s wrong with me? What if I get caught.

Goodnight

Whenever I talk about my self harm without people knowing my gender, they assume I’m a girl. When people see my scars before my face they assume im a girl. I never see representation or instances of men cutting themselves or harming themselves. So many assumptions around self harm and it’s pissing me off.

Sometimes I post my scars for validation in certain places, whatever whatever I know it’s wrong I know it’s gross and it’s objectifying myself, but that doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is they all instantly assume I am a female but because I hurt myself, saying you should be GIRLFRIEND just because I cut.

As a trans man it feels so invalidating, I can get my tits chopped off and grow a beard and have a deep voice and pass in every possible aspect but when someone sees my scars they will assume female because? Only girls cut themselves apparently.

Fuck it all