u/yellowandpeople

if you want to sell it or your friend wants to I am here to buy it!

I am struggling in understanding who I am and what the fuck am I supposed to do on this planet

also confused about the numbers as I only see 32/5 with life paths 2?

I have these times where one word from a friend in the wrong time will completely tear my super confident armour down and I start doubting myself until I don’t know who I am anymore.

She told me “I use people” instead of saying she felt used by me despite me making her realise she wasn’t able to set her boundaries and speak her mind and needs when she had to.

Now she got 3 years of repressed anger and left our conversation with that phrase that is mining my very own intentions as Im second guessing myself with every interaction I have.

Are we so inherently entitled to get anything we want? Are we so egotistical and self centered? Am I so uncaring that I use people for my own needs and forget them when they need me?

Only me has the answers and still falls in the trap of people pleasing, playing the constant look “only if you want to” behind every single sentence I say, making sure I do not come across too direct and strict and commanding.

She is a total bitch and I need to listen to my own voice.
But inferior Fi is really tough sometimes.

Does anybody else have this kind of insecurity crawling back from the dead sabotaging everything else?

any advice is welcome, be kind.

you're doubting yourself?

I like discussing stuff with him but cannot feel anything but a strong intellectual connection; he got rid of his insecurities and aggressive \ elitist \ ostracizing behaviour after I made him realise what potential he had and how important it was for him to develop it

Now he changed, is happy and cool but after 3 years he's back asking me to hang out and confessing he would like to try again with me. I love his Ni, cold objectivity is my secret kink, I like his face and character now more than ever, but I understood I want him as a friend as I do not feel anything for him. He doesn't want to let me go nor see me with other ppl tho, is a bit clingy and desperate as he thinks I am his love life.

What is the best way to deal with a stubborn INTJ obsessed about someone he thinks belongs to him? How can I communicate with him and try to have a friendship? Is this possible for you once you made your mind? Can you share your experiences?

I am realising my friends kind of are afraid of me going to say something that judges them.

I do not judge anyone, I try to make people feel comfortable all the time; I am not hyper confrontational or aggressive and rarely take things personally or am the sensitive/ reactive type. Somehow I end up feeling people slighly uncomfortable, not because I like it but because I guess my Te is very strong and I end up analizying and judging general life choices \ things around me to the point people think they're going to be next.

there is nothing I can do about it, I worked also on my self esteem and tend to not criticise stuff randomly to feel "better than", I genuinly think it comes with my own aura and I can do nothing about it but just accept it.

Did you go through a similar path?

how to you deal with this other than choosing (INTP lol) friends/ anyone who knows how to be objective about stuff you talk about?

I have been hanging around this sub for some time now and all I read is "do nothing", "let go", "you need to look inwards".

I try to let go of what I should be, what they told me I should do in life. But anytime I try to enjoy the little things, the present moment, cooking my veggie curry or talk to a friend, I feel this enormous sense of anxiety that tells me I am not doing enough and that I should use my talents to save the world and make a difference. Fulfill my large-scale destiny.

My mom raised me telling me I should become someone and that since a very young age I had all this power in me and I know I have, but no matter what I do I still feel I am behind some sort of ideal self that is in me but that I am too much of a coward to embrace it.

I resisted the feeling of being pushed and forced, I lived my life how I wanted it to be, how I felt it. But all the things I was doing were just something that was going "around" my ideal version of me, what I was born for. And my parents felt it and always looked down on me for my fear of not becoming who I have to be.

Nothing I do is enough, anxiety tells me I cannot rest, I cannot have weeks off, I cannot enjoy anything until I become myself entirely. I do stuff, I try to overcome my fears pushing and striving for the better, to step on the stage, to take lessons and refine my skills. But this got me to a point that I feel no matter what I do, I will still and always feel behind, tied to a goal that will probably never be accomplished.

And the funny thing is that anytime that I take a class I feel great for 20 minutes, then I feel shit and then someone tells me there are people dying at 39 for cancer, that cannot play tennis anymore because they had a surgery that did not go well; there are people suffering immense pain and that I should just always be happy because I am objectively healthy, have two jobs, young and beautiful and capable of learning anything I want.

...but because I have everything I could, my anxiety tells me I should look up to the greatest out there who are billionaires and expressed fully themselves with no fear of judgement, that just "do it". Thta I cannot just enjoy my life as it is, to "let go". To let go is for people who do not have a vision, right? for "losers". For people that work for companies and that earn an average salary and complain about the inflation. Hence I am split between "I should let go and enjoy what others cannot as joy is in the little things" and " I should want more and gain more because I can and have talents that need to be shared for the common good"

Today it is getting so overwhelming that I am starting to think death is the only escape.

I am writing to you because I know I am in the right place here. I know the answer is to let go, that I deserve to live a happy, peaceful life, that I can start believing I have everything I need, that I did all that I could and that it is enough. But I need serious advice on how to embrace it, because I tried affirmations, buddhism, reading the Tao and listening to Alan Watts saying I am "stuck" in something that does not exist...and still feel that is unbearable. I am TIRED of pushing myself towards some direction, regardless if it is right or left. and I do not know where do I stand between the enjoy what you are and have today and push for the better future.

I cannot keep forcing myself to wake up and to repeat and repeat and repeat stuff for "discipline". I just know the people that have reached their potential do not feel how I feel. Otherwise they would not be able to keep going and do the stuff they enjoy. I am absolutely broken inside and cannot afford to keep going like this.

All I want is to not regret anything.

I have been hanging around this sub for some time now and all I read is "do nothing", "let go", "you need to look inwards".

I try to let go of what I should be, what they told me I should do in life. But anytime I try to enjoy the little things, the present moment, cooking my veggie curry or talk to a friend, I feel this enormous sense of anxiety that tells me I am not doing enough and that I should use my talents to save the world and make a difference. Fulfill my large-scale destiny.

My mom raised me telling me I should become someone and that since a very young age I had all this power in me and I know I have, but no matter what I do I still feel I am behind some sort of ideal self that is in me but that I am too much of a coward to embrace it.

I resisted the feeling of being pushed and forced, I lived my life how I wanted it to be, how I felt it. But all the things I was doing were just something that was going "around" my ideal version of me, what I was born for. And my parents felt it and always looked down on me for my fear of not becoming who I have to be.

Nothing I do is enough, anxiety tells me I cannot rest, I cannot have weeks off, I cannot enjoy anything until I become myself entirely. I do stuff, I try to overcome my fears pushing and striving for the better, to step on the stage, to take lessons and refine my skills. But this got me to a point that I feel no matter what I do, I will still and always feel behind, tied to a goal that will probably never be accomplished.

And the funny thing is that anytime that I take a class I feel great for 20 minutes, then I feel shit and then someone tells me there are people dying at 39 for cancer, that cannot play tennis anymore because they had a surgery that did not go well; there are people suffering immense pain and that I should just always be happy because I am objectively healthy, have two jobs, young and beautiful and capable of learning anything I want.

...but because I have everything I could, my anxiety tells me I should look up to the greatest out there who are billionaires and expressed fully themselves with no fear of judgement, that just "do it". Thta I cannot just enjoy my life as it is, to "let go". To let go is for people who do not have a vision, right? for "losers". For people that work for companies and that earn an average salary and complain about the inflation. Hence I am split between "I should let go and enjoy what others cannot as joy is in the little things" and " I should want more and gain more because I can and have talents that need to be shared for the common good"

Today it is getting so overwhelming that I am starting to think death is the only escape.

I am writing to you because I know I am in the right place here. I know the answer is to let go, that I deserve to live a happy, peaceful life, that I can start believing I have everything I need, that I did all that I could and that it is enough. But I need serious advice on how to embrace it, because I tried affirmations, buddhism, reading the Tao and listening to Alan Watts saying I am "stuck" in something that does not exist...and still feel that is unbearable. I am TIRED of pushing myself towards some direction, regardless if it is right or left. and I do not know where do I stand between the enjoy what you are and have today and push for the better future.

I cannot keep forcing myself to wake up and to repeat and repeat and repeat stuff for "discipline". I just know the people that have reached their potential do not feel how I feel. Otherwise they would not be able to keep going and do the stuff they enjoy. I am absolutely broken inside and cannot afford to keep going like this.

All I want is to not regret anything.