u/yesitis--

Somewhat recently I (21m) started actually tuning into my head and thoughts and ig feelings towards sex and porn, and after a decent amount of tuning in I realized that I don't actually like porn or anything sexual if it's not with a person I deeply trust and know and love etc.

And once I realized this and was aligned with it, I lost all interest in porn, of every kind even the "healthy" loving type, and I can't not feel significant repulsion to anything sexual that's done with a shallow connection.

So I went from watching porn and self pleasure pretty frequently to now having stopped it for like a month and a half. I'm not even trying or fighting myself. And my perception of all things relating to love and romance and sexuality have changed pretty significantly.

I figured this is related to demisexuality (correct me if I'm wrong tho) so I'm wondering what yall think about this, I'm def not used to this state, possibly because I was exposed to the idea of "men are visual creatures that are always horny and would have sex with anything that breathes" for most of my life and I just assumed that that's how I am / should be too

Basically the title. Since we all know the feeling, and the situation, and I'm guessing most of the people here are genuinely craving real connection, so I'm guessing it's not a bad place to actually find it

So several days ago I made a post here asking how I as an intp/intj can spot a ENFP out in the wild. And well... I CAUGHT ONE. They're pretty interested in mbti and so there's a chance they'll see this, in that case ..... Um .... Hi :)

I was planning on asking "now what" but as I was typing I realized I should just be me and be authentic, ig that's the whole point of the stereotypically golden dynamic

Yall should Def do more signaling of who you are and such, so it's easier for the rest of us to spot ya and kidnap ya

I never saw myself as an artistic person in any sense, I never had interest in music and my Playlist is an absolute mess, I don't have much of a sense of what looks visually nice, I find natural scenery to be "oh that's nice" where as others can see some deeper beauty in them, I never understood what it is to feel emotions and then express them as some abstract art that you vibe with.

But recently I got into acrylic painting and painted afew things and have been enjoying it way more than I expected, and it seems like the thing I like is when a certain interesting abstract idea is conveyed through the painting, like for example I really like informal logical fallacies, and I get very excited at the thought of painting things that convey a certain fallacy in a nice way, like the straw man fallacy or circular Argumentation or the humunculus fallacy, and I can't wait till my painting skills are good enough to paint these properly and as I imagine them. So I guess I can be artistic in some sense after all.

How have you experienced and thought about art? Is there a certain artistic or creative thing that especially gets you going?

I'm doing both no porn and no masterbation. So far honestly it has been a breeze, mainly cuz I got here as a result of genuinely thinking about things and noticing my own thoughts as I went through the motions, and I realized that I don't genuinely like it and that what would be a genuine turn on is a real connection with someone, and once I thought of that, I lost interest in impulsive sexual stuff.

And when that instinctual, mammalian, and habitual part of my mind turns on for some reason, I don't try to force it away or fight it but i put the spotlight on it, I ask myself, do I actually like this person, do I even know them, how would I feel mentally and physically if I were to actually physically do anything with them, can I have a good conversation with them, can I trust them. And in most cases the real honest answers are that I would be repulsed by them irl, I wouldn't trust them with much, I wouldn't enjoy talking to them, I wouldn't feel any real connection to them, and besides, all sexual body parts more or less look the same, it's not actually special physically, but what makes it special is who the person is to me, and the porn I may be looking at isn't special or personal, and I don't have enough of a deep connection towards most people irl to be actually comfortable being sexual with them. And when I realize this, the urge naturally goes away, and is replaced with mild or not so mild repulsion or even sadness at the thought.

But ofc this may not work for everyone, so far it has for me. And as I said, it's not about forcing some outcome out of myself, it's more of trying to be more aligned with who I am and what I actually value and what I actually like

I'm doing both no porn and no masterbation. So far honestly it has been a breeze, mainly cuz I got here as a result of genuinely thinking about things and noticing my own thoughts as I went through the motions, and realized that I don't genuinely like it and that what would be a genuine turn on is a real connection with someone, and once I thought of that, I lost interest in impulsive sexual stuff

I'm an intp and I vibed hard with most enfps I interacted with, and now that I saw yall express your enfpness in this subreddit, I'm hungry for more, but I'm not sure how to find one, I accepted my fate of having to leave the house more often and show up to uni and events but then what? How do I sniff one out

Somewhat recently I met an infp and she was pretty nice and chill from the start, alil shy and anxious and maybe timid but I gave some space and vibed with her more open extroverted friends, later we talked afew good times and the talks one on one went pretty well imo, she's got that depth so many of yall have which is very nice to hear about, and I might be hanging out with her more soon so I was wondering if there's any pointers yall can give me on how to keep her having a good time.

Ik not all intps or infps are the same so the advice can't be that specific ofc but still, any ideas would be great!

Oh and my interest in her is purely platonic and I got zero even potential romantic or sexual interest, she just seems like a person I'd have a great time with