How do I respond to my ex husband of 10 years when he says why I don’t deserve
hey so I’m a sahm for 6 years just been married did Muslim nikkah years, just recently got divorced and my ex doesn’t beleive he needs to pay me alimony child support or any asset distribution since it’s all his and these were his claims. How do I respond to these
1: we never legally got married and only religious marriage where we only follow the laws of marriage and divorce in that religion as it’s not fair he fulfills his religious duties and the forced into secular duties in divorce when I’m not forced to clean his house cook ect to live the same standard
2 : I didn’t sacrifice my career as I was making 60k when I met him and the max I could of possible made in my career is 100k and that’s top level and I physically and mentally can’t work a different job due to my disability before we met therefore the max I could have made in my life in the 10 years we married is ($600k or $1m) before taxes as well as taking into account 40 hour work week I would of worked plus 10 hour commute) so 50 hour total
3: as of the day we divorced he said she was able to live a lifestyle worth $5 million dollars because he was simply married to me therefore if anything I need to pay him $4m as I would of never seen this lifestyle if i has never married him therefore she didn’t sacrifice anything as where I’m today in life is far above where I would of been if never married so this is a privelehe
4: he says since he payed me half the price of what you pay for a surrogacy to compensate for child birth since it’s unfair that I am in pain 9 months and not him he payed me half of 9 month of money you pay a surrogate so now I can’t say I didn’t contribute in child birth even tho if it’s out of his control. He says you pay surrogate 70k one time fee for 9 months so he payed me 35k for each child as his contribution even though it’s out of his control
5: we never ever agreed with marriage laws that’s why we didn’t legally get married and I also refused a prenup so it every unfair for them to apply to
Him even though we agreed religious marriage and law only in Islam so in divorce my family is responsible for me.
6: he says he contributed 50% to childcare and lived his life and success around the kids so I can never say I sacrificed anything for him to have his success as he worked around the kids schedule
7: finances is also 50/50 but when I became a sahm and couldn’t contribute my half, he says he had to pay on my behalf of rent and kids expenses, which means he has to work extra hours a week all for me and not him as he doesn’t benefit from those hours as he already pays his share of bills meaning technically that extra 20 hours week he works to contribute to my share of bills is his unpaid labour as technically he now would have to retire later for the same lifestyle (this before he became a millionaire). Now he wants my father to pay for his unpaid labour.
8: he says i never contributed to his wealth directly or indirectly so why should I get a cent wirhout his consent. If everything was 50/50, and he worked around the kids schedule so I can’t say I was at home so he could work and a i also lived a lifestyle total worth 4 million and if I didn’t marry it would of been 1 million max as well as he claims he saved me 50 hours a week of labour since I didn’t have to go to work and every single act of service he did for me our weight what I did for him as well as he payed me for what 4.5 months worth of pregnancy is.
He says it’s very unfair for a black man to be ordered to pay alimony and child support and distribute any of his assets as he made it all himself and never did anyone help make it directly or indirectly and never did I sacrifice anything for him to make it nor would I have bew in the life I’m in today if not married. He says if he pays rhen I must also live the same lifestyle and come over to cook him food, clean and be his little assistant as if I can use his body and mental energy ect to work to fund her ex lifestyle I can as well?
He also doesn’t wanna pay child support as all of the kids are already payed. His card is connected to there health insurance bills, school bills, medical, outside activities, and that our kids have their own child card where he sends money equal to 3 months worth grocery, clothing, and all the essentials and that he will replfill that card 1 month early every time rhis is so that he can see that the money I spend on the kids goes to them directly and not myself as he is responsible for them and not me. But he doesn’t wnana pay for my rent or rent or water bill or anything just only what the kids spend. He wants me to calculate how much of my personals are from the kids like water electricity and he wants to only pay for that nothing else. He didn’t wanna include me in the kids trips when they go overseas as he says means him are free from each other and tha his hard work working money only go towards himself and his kids. He also ducking said if the kids were to be 18 they can’t legally claim a sinfle cent of there parents as the goverment sees them as grow adults eve though the have absolutely no life experience so why should I get it as a grown women wirh degree and job experience who chose to be sahm and had the option to work so many times whether from home or workplace as well as him offering me a career
the thing is how can I battle this in court, everything he says is logical but at the end of the day the law says commison law marriage is recognised and everything is 50/50. We didn’t divorce on bad terms but it ended bad after the talk we had regarding this. Most lawyers want to charge hundred of dollars per hour. Should I just take the civil case and go to court directly or is there a free alternative that is subsidised by goverment for newly single moms. Because the law is the law at the end of the day and I think it’s very important for my kids to not see their mother suffer in her house as well as the kids rhen live their best life in the father house. he never would of had them kids without me and I genuinly believe the kids mental health is based on whether the mother is happy.
please give advice or will the religious marriages bypass this