u/yukonwanderer

Do the books get better after this? I read the one before this which was decent. This one is, to put it bluntly, pretty bad. Endless chapters of the same crap in the caves over and over again. It's not scary, it's annoying. Beyond annoying.

More generally, the same structure/formula also seems to have been followed as in the previous novel but has way less characters to care about. I'm almost not able to finish this one, it's so bad. Is this how the rest of them are in general or is this one an odd one out?

I'm currently reading Cabinet of Curiosities and I'm wondering if this takes a supernatural turn? I'm not into that so much, to each their own, nothing against it, just a bit of a downer for me when crime thrillers are supernatural. I was hoping this was a thriller that would stay "realistic" but I'm currently unsure if that's the case. I'm fine with the hinting that it might be supernatura, it's super well written and creepy. But if it's actually supernatural I'm not so intrigued. Without spoiling anything (ie no telling who the perp is) can anyone say if this ends up being a supernatural thing, or is it currently only hinting at it, but it ends up not being so. I guess if it's supernatural then I know who it is, obviously.

I'll be hiking in to do a one night camp at Provoking Lake. I wanted to do 2 nights but didn't get my act together and book soon enough. I've learned the bridge is closed and there are two possible detours that each add about 2.5km. Couple questions:

1. which detour is nicer? I mean more scenic and "rugged"?
2. Is it possible to just try to cross the river? I'm looking at pics of the falls and especially at this time of year the river looks tantalizingly low.
3. If I leave my heavy gear at my site (take survival basics with me of course) is it feasible to do the route around Provoking in a day? I hike almost daily along the escarpment Bruce Trail near Hamilton about 7km in 1.5 to 2 hours. There is some up and down sometimes quite an elevation change, but no climbing/scrambling. Is it a multi-day hike normally because you'd have a heavy backpack on, and if not, you're hiking from an access point that adds a bunch of time? Or is it multi-day because it's so rough?
4. I'm thinking of the back country hiking along the Bruce peninsula National Park to the campsites there, if anyone has done that - that trail is rough, there's almost some climbing/rock scrambling, it's up and down, plus large pebble/rubble beaches to cross, that's not a place where you can hike 19km in a day, by my memory. Is it the same thing here? Granted, I've only done that hike with a large heavy pack and unsuitable shoes...

I'm shocked and confused and don't know if I can financially absorb this. I was already trying to ration therapy.

I started 6 years ago and my rates have increased by 23% since then, spaced out over the years. So it's not like I expect rates to stay the same. But this jump is so big and I feel hurt and like she doesn't care if it means I have to try to find a different therapist. My own wage was frozen for 4 years and now I'm getting a 3% raise. She works from home, I'm not sure why such a massive increase is needed. The rate I'm currently at seems to be around the median rate for my area. So this increase puts her at the top end.

How would you all feel about such a steep increase from a long-term therapist?

It's hitting some deep attachment wounds, and she knows I have attachment issues. Please don't tell me about how therapy is just a business transaction and they don't care about you, and all that typical stuff. I'm aware it's a business. I like to think there's some nuance there still.

I've emailed to ask if she could consider a couple other ideas (like a smaller annual increase as standard).

I'm done with therapy with humans from this point on if this ends up being it. I'll just use chatgpt. It's usually pretty good with picking out therapy ideas and concepts. Free. No attachment risk or bullshit either. The only issue is then I'll have even less social interaction or support than I already do which is massively stressful. Plus the grief. Serious grief. I know it's going to haunt me and take over my life unpredictably for the better part of a year at least. No one to help me through it. I don't think I can go through this kind of thing again. I'm angry.

Anyone have experience playing in either league and do you have any opinion on which one is better?

Or is there a 3rd league I'm not aware of?

I'm looking for co-ed fairly "competitive" floor hockey but the kind that happens in a smaller gymnasium rather than on an empty ice rink. Can't run that much without easing myself into a season or two of the smaller gyms first haha...

Or beach volleyball.

Where are they being sold? They weren't at food basics downtown. What grocery stores have you seen them at?

The idea of installing made-up resources? The idea that whether or not something is true doesn't matter?

I find the idea absolutely effed up and contrary to my values and what I need to find healing.

I don't get this, at all. It's causing a rift in therapy right now and I'm feeling extremely frustrated that my therapist doesn't understand my preference for genuine, true, real, things.

I had a visit from my ex (who has traits of BPD and narcissism) after not seeing her for 5 years. It did not end well, I ended up asking her to leave after I perceived the abuse was starting up again.

What is confusing to me is how unbelievably bad I feel about it, and how I seem to be unable to forget what she told me about her childhood, and knowing about that history seems to cause me to sort of almost see her as that child in a way, which then results in poor boundary enforcement, me taking on a rescuer role, and putting up with bad treatment (of course there's other factors at play there)

This child and rescuer thing is a totally new realization I came to after this visit. I have this image of her stuck in my head of her running up the stairs about to cry after I told her to get out, and it's been causing me an immense amount of sadness. In therapy as I was discussing the fight we had (it was rushed since it was at the end of the session) my therapist was encouraging me to pause and ask myself if I really had anything to apologize for, if anything, she had lots to apologize for, and I found myself saying "yeah ok there's no rush. She's an adult. She will be fine"

So now, I'm realizing - wow, have I probably been subconsciously trying to rescue her childhood self this whole time. Did she tell me about all that in order to get my empathy? How could I not have realized this was happening until now?

Even now that I realize this, it still makes me so unbelievably sad to think about how this little person was so effed up in such a serious way, it's just so confusing for me from an emotional standpoint, like I can't seem to let go of the pain around that stuff. It led to me backtracking on a boundary I set after she started to get abusive. It's just mindboggling to me that this still has a hold on me after so many years. Is that what's going on, or is it something else?

Anyone else experience this, or something similar? Does it get better once the realization of this hits?

I'm years out of a relationship that was emotionally abusive. Recently triggered by a visit from this ex. My therapist who I was not seeing during this relationship but who I just had a brief session with where I described how badly this visit ended, mentioned something about narcissism or some kind of pathology there from what I was describing. Of course when I go to find resources on this, so much of what's out there just seems so utterly hyperbolic and black and white like narcissism isn't a spectrum, like narcissists can all be boiled down to the same traits and black and white "evil" at their core.... And that just loses me. Totally. In my experience it's much more nuanced than what's described online otherwise I would've dumped their ass way before we hit the 4 or 5 year mark.

Is it just the stuff I'm finding online? Are there any books that discuss healing without painting the "narc" as someone I don't really recognize? Part of my problem is also that I feel deep compassion and sadness for this person and I know she's not evil or necessarily consciously doing these things, I know she did not have a good childhood and I know she wasn't lying about (most) of it. So I immediately tune out and can't relate to any material that paints it in such black and white. To the point that I'm like, hmm, this is not what was happening.

I just want to read about how to heal. I do recall coming out of that relationship feeling totally hollowed out. Over time I realize I forgot the impact it had on me. It never really got addressed, I was just destabilized afterwards dealing with a whole bunch of basic life coping things. We're both women so I imagine it kinda got swept under the rug by subsequent therapists or something? I stopped bringing it up thinking I was being too sensitive about it.

Anyway I would like to read some books or whatever that have a much less hyperbolic or black and white description of a "narcissist" and to have it more focused on healing rather than the perpetrator anyway.

And yes I'm aware that part of the problem is they really know how to tug on your heartstrings, I know for sure that happened here, but I also know that the descriptions online tend to be alienating to me, it was so much more nuanced and there was a period where she was very apologetic.

I've been unable to find any info on this in my online searching. I'm curious about the origin of speckled clay. To me, speckled clay is intensely nostalgic, and I can't really figure out why, other than as a child on camping trips we had camping cups that were metal, coated with some sort of "glaze" that had specks in it. (In hindsight these were probably so toxic LOL).

Is speckled clay (or glaze for that matter) nostalgic for anyone else? I was born in 1982 for context.

Were there any natural clays with speckling, or any early cultures who used clay with lots of "impurities" that looked like the speckled clays we have today? How long has the speckled clay we have today (by that I mean the manganese specks in current ratios) been around? Is it just a modern invention, and if so, what inspired it?

Anyone know where to buy Royal Canin low fat gastro dog food? I was at the PetSmart near Ottawa Street and didn't see it there. Pet valu stocks different brands as far as I recall. Global pet food - if I recall - also does not sell Royal Canin brand.

When I search online it seems like American pet smarts require a vet authorization for it.

My vet recommended it but didn't mention anything about it needing to be bought from her office or anything else like that.

Alternatively, anyone know an alternative brand for the same issue? Sensitive gut and needs to be low fat.

I've been trying to figure out the best pitcher spout configuration to avoid drips, and don't have a ton of time to experiment. I differentiate this from a teapot spout discussion, as the dynamics are different for open spouts vs closed spouts. I know that:

1. lip sharpness is critical, same as with a teapot spout.

2. Throat should be wider to allow pressure to be exerted on the narrower lip, same as in a teapot spout.

3. I'm a little confused on the best angle - is the ideal supposed to be slightly upwards? parallel to the table? Downwards?

4. should there be a sharp curve at the very end?

There's this discussion on pitcher spouts https://community.ceramicartsdaily.org/topic/20189-open-top-pitcher-not-pouring/ which has me a little confused when the "forward cant" is mentioned in Neil's pitcher. What do they mean by that exactly? The spout in that one I'd say is angled a little downwards towards the table which is unusual among the pitcher spouts I've seen - is that what they're referring to? Why is that better? Or is the small curve at the very end doing the work and what they're referring to?

So many pitchers out there have widely different spout angles or lip angles, and it's confusing me as to the best approach.

I know that I can bisque and then sand to adjust, but having the base parameters correct would still be key.

Aka also sold as wc60 at stores like PSH and GWN in Canada. Beautiful buff coloured with specks of both iron and manganese.

Is it possibly because of the whole red art fiasco? I just bought some in Canada and asked the cashier about it and they didn't know why it wouldn't be on the Laguna website anymore. They've been offering refunds for anyone who purchased other clays with red art in it after May 1st. Wondering if it's possible that this clay was also affected and they just didn't know?

I'm looking for resources that talk about how exjausting it can be to try to hear with severe to profound hearing loss, that doesn't just end up being an ad for hearing aids. All I can find are articles mentioning it on audiologist clinic websites where they then talk about "untreated" hearing loss being the issue, and book a hearing test now!

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I already have $7k hearing aids. They are not the solution for me.

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Likewise the journal articles I've found are clearly written by hearing authors and state something very obvious but often then get confused with cause and effect (eg. Making the conclusion that not being able to hear is in itself a cause of dementia, rather than the difficulty that comes from a lack of access to communication).

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Anyway, does anyone know where I could find written info on this stuff? (Energy expenditure, listening fatigue, etc. that kind of thing), and where it's given proper weight rather than sounding like not a big deal and cured by hearing aids.

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I'm trying to educate my employer and ask for accommodations and no one seems to understand this stuff.

Anyone else notice that the traffic lights on York Rd since the reno, seem to favour very low occupied North South travel lanes over gridlocked York traffic trying to head East or West?

Anyone know why that decision is being made? Who decides?

It's causing unnecessary gridlock and idling in this area, which we all know we don't need more of in this city. It seems like during rush hour lights should prioritize lanes with gridlock over lanes that have maybe 4 cars heading south from the north end.

Who could you even contact about this at the city?

New potter here. Something I said to myself: oh, I'll just fix that when I'm in the trimming stage.

What are things you've heard or said yourself that are likewise pretty silly?

Does anyone have any good info on how to track what kind of qty's and/or frequency the barter system is producing? It's ridiculously opaque given that it's between your own regions.

I'm so disappointed that the new regions you claim & settle aren't just linked into your original economy. Anyway, that's besides the point.

I'm finding it a little overwhelming to manage 3 different regions. Being able to keep track/remember what I was supposed to do for each one is surprisingly hard. Like...do I need to start taking notes? So many times I'll forget something small that then causes loss of production or some other stupid thing.

What do you all do to stay on top of it?

I can't seem to climb over my 1380's rating. What has been happening is when I lose a game I lose 6 or 7 points. It seems to be that I'm only being paired with low-ranked players, and very often they do the dumbest things that make zero sense and end up feeding someone who should not be fed. This results in a loss beyond my control. Does anyone have any advice for how to get around this? Am I the only one in this position? I fully expect snarky comments like "get better bud" but hoping others know exactly what I'm talking about and can offer tips. I would love to be playing higher-ranked players, I don't understand why it's always me who's the highest.