u/zebivllihc

Had to take a break for a bit for the swab test for my new job. Proud I was able to take a break and not feel too bad. Took a small hit and gonna enjoy the rest of the evening.

But side note - my child’s father and I coparent. We get along great and consider him family. But today we were joking about the drug test and he mentioned I should just quit bcus I have a new job and “he hears the weed is too potent now and it’s messing people up”, I said well “it’s cannabis and meds or more meds and I prefer to keep my current method”. He told me I should get off meds and “you can do it be mentally strong”…sir, I prefer not to lose my mind again. I will keep up with my current remedy to keep my sanity. And if I was mentally strong, I wouldn’t need my meds.

I have a test coming up. CA has a law that recreational use cannot be held against you for off the clock use. This is a test for a new job. It will most likely be a swab test as I am not in an exempted role. I won’t be driving or any of that. I also didn’t have enough time between the test to fully quit for the usual 30 days.

But I’ve read the swab test only test for ACTIVE use. Meaning you used THAT day of the test or within the last 24 hours. I tapered this week but I struggle with appetite and anxiety so today is rough. My test isn’t for another week or so.

Just curious if anyone has experience with the swab test.

I am not a picky eater but I’m not very adventurous when trying food. The most adventurous I have ever been was trying snails.

He deff consumed much more than me. But he also took a lot. And didn’t share as much. I remember someone posted here recently how they like to share and gift their friends cannabis. My ex never did that. I smoked more bc of him, but he smoked for everything. To eat, to shower, to play basketball, to go to dinner, before we left anywhere, to bed, to wake up. So I would smoke with him but would also often decline hits just bc it was too much sometimes. When I smoke or consume it’s to relax or enjoy. I felt he wanted to escape feelings or just a way to keep being avoidant in his own life. He would never buy me weed. No gummies, no surprises. I would for him, and often. I’d get him the drinks he liked or gummies or whatever. I also felt obligated to bc he would often ask if I brought weed but I don’t like to roll so I would get pre rolls to share. But we’d go thigh a whole pack of 6 in about two days. Where it lasts me a while. I spent a lot when I was with him. And I’m glad I can consume in a more healthy and relaxed way now.

We broke up about 2 weeks ago. It was time. He is a good hearted person and I did feel comfortable and safe with him. But we weren’t on the same page about life goals. I wanted more and he wanted to keep the pace slow. We had been together for over 2 years and he couldn’t say I love you. I know he has a hard time with emotions, but I need someone emotionally available and ready to be in a committed relationship.

This is the first time where I truly chose myself and decided to break up. In the past I’ve stayed much longer than I know I should have. But it still sucks. I care about him and miss him a lot. But I know it’s best and I can’t hope things will get better.

Even after the break up, there was no effort on his end to make things better. No phone call, no FaceTime, no offer to meet and talk…just texts. And even then he wasn’t truly hearing where I was coming from. It’s not as painful, maybe I’ve become more understanding of myself and needs. I just feel bad. But I guess he’s had more than enough time.

I had a recent break up, maybe 2 weeks ago. I initiated the break up. Things were not going well; he was unmotivated, gave bare minimum effort, couldn’t say I love you after 2 years together, and had no plans for a future for us. I essentially broke up with him mentally months before.

But I feel bad bc I do care about him. But I’m also over people pleasing and being the nice one. I’m not resentful of our relationship, but it was time to end it. Is it too soon to get back out dating?

I’m unsure if I (36F) should stay in my relationship. Things are not bad. He’s kind, caring, non judgmental, and chill. But we’re in our 30s. I am a mother. And I have a career I’ve worker very hard to be in. My partner and I also grew up very differently. We’ve both had hardships but I would say my parents made life much worse than his parents. I’d say he maybe had a typical childhood and I grew up quick. I say this because I know I can be intimidating on goals. If I set one, I’m working on it. I’m motivated bc I’ve always had to be; I didn’t have much support.

So our values and timelines for goals don’t align. But we get along. We live separately. We’ve dated about 2 years. No talks of moving in together, he can’t say I love you, and now that it’s taken so long I don’t feel safe to say it to him, we don’t talk about any plans for marriage. I’m a thinker and a talker. I’m anxious and he is very avoidant on big conversations. When we argue there’s no resolution. And yes, I have communicated needs and love languages. I love roses, he said that he often feels pressure to buy them so he doesn’t do it bc he wants to do it on his own, he didn’t want to be officially “bf/gf” bc he said well “I just assumed after all this time we already were”…it was over a year into us dating. He’s not a planner for anything. At all. And I’m type B…but I like soooome structure so I can be prepared. I care about him but I find myself resentful of being the one to always make plans, have a plan, and make majority of day to day decisions on basic things. I’m in a helping profession, and I’m a mom. I don’t want to feel like I’m also taking care of a grown man. And while he manages his on life well; pays his bills, works hard…he just places most of any plans on me bc he’s so passive. We don’t go on dates, we aren’t super wealthy people so we manage in life. Dates are doable if we plan…but it never happens. He calls me controlling and I feel like he just coasts through life.

Things aren’t “wrong”, but do they get better? Am I asking for too much? I just want a partner who’s aligned and motivated in life and also to work on things for us.

I’m no contact with my immediate family for almost a year. And due to that, I backed away from close family as well. It was hard but I also really struggle with anxiety and I had a horrible bout of it during my initial estrangement. I know my family loves me, I’m not talking about my parents or sibling, but I also somewhat felt betrayed by family for not sticking up for me. But maybe that’s not their place. I feel very conflicted, and lonely. But, I do want space for now. The anxiety makes it almost unbearable. This sucks. I’m a grown adult with my own child and it sucks not being able to manage the emotions around it all. And not being strong enough to separate other family from my parents.

I found the puffco peak I want for a really good price. $175. In the color I want. Buuuut I don’t have any experience with puffco and have been looking at one for a while to switch up my consumption experience.

I WANT it, but is it worth it?

I’m a mild consumer. Primarily flower when outdoors, but have a vape pen I use often. Mainly use to unwind and consume nightly.

Curious about experience within agency and how work life balance is.

Was looking at postings but I know that the grass isn’t always greener. Looking for insight on what the social worker culture is at Stanford.

I hope this works. I’ve been terrified to start due to horrible lexapro tapper and side effects. But my anxiety has been so debilitating lately. I feel the anxiety in my gut, I’m tearful, overwhelmed, can’t sleep bc I have anxiety in my sleep about work or life and I freak out.

I really hope this helps. I’ve read all the stories from other’s experiences and I’ve probably read more negative than positive but I also know most people reach out or seek out other experiences when it isn’t going well.

I’m estranged from my parents and sibling. But I have felt really distant from all family; cousins and aunts, uncles…

I just don’t feel close right now and I’m processing all of the crap that happened while I lived with my parents and very well into my 30s. I don’t want to be close and I feel bad bc my family didn’t do anything wrong per se…but they knew who my parents were.