r/Brahmanraaj

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For some background, I(27M) lost my dad 4 years back, because of the severe health crisis which he faced because of his lately developed drinking habits because his businesses took a huge hit in the COVID. It was a stressful time for me as I had barely graduated. Even on the day of my graduation, I went alone to the University for my degree felicitation and later went straight to the hospital.

After his passing, I had a lot of debts to clear and my family to look after. Thankfully I got placed in my college campus placements. I was barely able to meet ends, funded my sister's education and my mom's surgeries later on.

Amidst all this, I started to worry about my future, and my romantic life. I started to panic looking at the demands of Brahmin women for their groom. The list was never ending. Physically I'm fit enough, I play regular sports, I'm 5'11 and all that, but financially I'm slowly getting there, not sure how long it will take me, but I feel by the time I do that, all of the good Brahmin women would be married and settled. I'm quite frustrated with this right now.

I dated one woman, and even though we had our beautiful moments we ended up breaking up after a year because of a lot of incompatibility issues between us.

Now I genuinely want to date and see how I get along, but honestly I would prefer a vegetarian atleast, if not a Brahmin. I can't compromise if they consume meat, that's just against my principles.

Lately I have been noticing something. More and more people around me from Brahmin families are struggling. Anxiety, burnout, depression, anger they can't explain. And when I started digging into my own life, I found something I wasn't expecting.

One of my forefathers fought in the Rangoon battle. He came home broken, carrying what we now know is PTSD. Nobody called it that then. He just became an angry man. And that anger got passed down, quietly, through generations. Angry fathers raising anxious children raising people who don't know why they feel the way they feel.

But that's not the only reason this is happening. Here's what else is going on:

The pressure to perform — from childhood, your grades were the family's honor. One bad result and the whole house feels it. That kind of weight doesn't leave you just because you grow up. And The post reservation stress is added to this.

The NRI ideal — there's always a cousin in the US who became the benchmark for success. Everyone else spends their life feeling slightly behind, slightly not enough.

Stuck between two worlds — traditional values at home, modern world outside. Many people in our community genuinely don't know who they are allowed to be. That confusion is exhausting.

B12 deficiency, silently — generations of vegetarianism without proper supplementation. Low B12 alone causes depression, anxiety, and brain fog. Most people don't even know to check for it.

Women carrying the most — expected to be educated, accomplished, a good wife, a good daughter-in-law, and never complain.

Stigma that goes bone deep — seeking help feels like admitting failure. So people suffer quietly for years, sometimes decades.

If any of this resonates, you are not alone. And you deserve support, not silence.

I learned that traditional Brahmins don't consume them because of their nature.

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