r/FreedTheNips

TW: Discussions around everything that might be involved in top surgery consults, enbyphobia, misogyny, discussions of the chest area.

Hey everyone! I never post here but lurk quite a bit. I'm 100% sure I want to go no-nipple - having nipples gives me dysphoria. So I'm transmasc and my friend is non-binary. They asked me to accompany them to their top surgery consultation. I helped them find surgeons, as where we live, GAC is hidden in plain sight. "Gynecomastia surgery", for example, is a dog-whistle that a place is trans-friendly to some extent. This is done to protect us as we don't want cis people finding out where we receive our GAC.

Somehow the surgeon didn't clock me as trans despite my binding being iffy, and without telling me, my friend introduced me as their partner to feel safer. Luckily I picked up on this early on in the conversation and played along. This doctor ended up looking at me the entire time that they asked my friend "are you sure?" questions. It felt icky and misogynistic of the doc. I ended up leading the conversation when I saw the resistance from the plastic surgeon. I wouldn't call it pushback from the surgeon so much as unknowingly enforcing feminine surgery results onto my femme-presenting friend. It took me saying "what would it cost to go completely flat for them?" for the doctor to actually take them seriously and not suggest radical reduction. It's as if they were doubting the need for cost.

My friend has gone back-and-forth on wanting nipples. They asked about going no-nipple, to which the doctor replied "Oh that only happens with rejection" and the doctor was shocked to find that we were talking about elective removal. She knee-jerked by saying "Well some people want horn implants on their heads and-" she stopped herself right there.

I looked at her with a raised eyebrow. I essentially said it was a false equivalent because it's not as risky to chop the nips compared to implants, and even if someone wanted implants, if they have informed consent, is there an issue? I'm also not here to shame body-modders, I am one in my own ways. I just don't understand the false equivalency.

Well, the doctor backpedaled from there and said "I'll make sure to call colleagues that are more informed about care for non-binary people." because I said "From my understanding, the medical recommendations for care for non-binary people is first and foremost to understand and accept that their gender-affirming care may come in a form that is different from binary individuals and must be respecting by all healthcare workers involved, 2021."

I don't know how to feel about this situation. In all other aspects, the surgeon had green flags. They did not misgender my friend, they did not bat an eye when I came out as trans after the appointment to her to ask something on my friend's behalf, weren't obsessive over BMI and weight for the wrong reasons and generally had a very good practice going. Their previous work on radical reductions and mastectomies is excellent. My friend has decided to choose them as a surgeon, which is fine by me. It's not my decision. But if you were me, how would you feel, especially about equating body modification to gender affirming care? (And also not understanding that they may be related). I think I may have just encountered a very "normal" person in an affluent area who doesn't exactly understand trans people in the capacity they should?

Hey ho, I'm getting DI no nips on Tuesday, hurrah. No drains planned. As my skin is sensitive, I'd love to start out the gate with a thin silk layer under binder, rather than waiting until post-op appointment, as I'm not supposed to remove it at all for that first week. So was thinking to bring it with me to surgery and ask if they'd include the silk layer when the put the binder on, as I think this happens before we wake up - but if people think it is a fool's errand, and they won't do it for some standard protocol reaason, I won't spend my spoons on trying to communicate this. Any thoughts?

What is the likelihood of facing discrimination for not having nipples? I really REALLY want to not have mine post-op I just need to make sure I won't get harassed. I feel like my fear might be irrational but you never know.

I had my operation around 4-5 years ago now, a full mastectomy with a singular scar going across the entire chest. The surgeon explained I had so much excess skin it was impossible for a more discrete scar. (even then, they didn't remove enough, but that's another story).

Sometimes, I'll get this phantom sensation of where the nipples technically would be, like if I'm mildly aroused or something. I say "technically" as my breasts were big enough and saggy enough that the location of the sensation isn't accurate to where my nipples usually rested.

Rather, the sensation is along the scar tissue, which is, to my knowledge, further down than where a cisman's nipples would usually be. Not sure if there's like leftover nerves at play or if it's simply the brain being weird.

Anyway, curious to hear what you all have to say.

today I looked at my self uncovered in the mirror for the first time

i think my surgeon did a great job and it will be goals once healed

but that was so scary!!!

i'm honestly grieving i think.... i coped by being thankful my tits were so cute for so long. (the surgery honestly would've been easier if my tits werent so "cute") at age 35 that was a long time to carry those feelings, and now i've relived myself of them. (dysphoria and all)

I know these feelings will ease in time... it's a very convoluted mixed up feelings, on the one hand, my nipples were cute enough that I convinced myself to love them as much as I could for all my life, but on the other hand, I was always slightly disturbed by them if I ever looked at them closely, and I had trauma associated with them.

Well, it should be fun to draw lil paws on my chest sometim, but for now... just looking for comfort and solidarity i guess

happy one week post op to me