r/PregnantOver40

I was always conflicted, first was unplanned but ended in MMC. Second was a surprise a heart rate detected ​and excited me a bit ​and only since Friday thought 'yes, I can do this and want this'.

TW:

Today, a gush of brown blood and more reddish after toilet. I've been here before, it's not going to be happy for me. I've been crying my eyes out a reaction that surprised me but I am heartbroken.

I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to through this again.

I’m 43 and currently 5 weeks pregnant after IVF, and instead of feeling excited, I feel like I’m constantly waiting for the next devastating piece of news.

First I worried we would never make a normal embryo. Then I worried the embryo wouldn’t implant. Then I worried my beta wouldn’t rise. It did.
Now I’m terrified of being told I have a blighted ovum or a missed miscarriage. If the ultrasound is okay, I already know I’ll worry about the heartbeat stopping. Then the NIPT. Then the anatomy scan. It feels like my brain just keeps moving the finish line.
The hardest part is that I don’t have many pregnancy symptoms. The few I do have, like slight breast soreness and fatigue, could easily be from the progesterone I’m taking. Every day I find myself wondering if my pregnancy has already stopped developing and I just don’t know it yet.
I realize this probably isn’t rational. I think infertility and IVF have conditioned me to expect bad news, so it’s hard to believe that something might actually go right.
Has anyone else felt this way? If you did, did it ever get better? Was there a point in pregnancy where you finally believed you were going to bring home a baby, or did the anxiety just shift from one milestone to the next?
I’d really love to hear from people who have been through this because right now it feels incredibly lonely.

Hi all, I am usually just a sleuth on different topics but I decided to post bc I just need community. I have 3 little boys ages 8,6,and 3. I have my family I always prayed for and I find that to be such a blessing. I just turned 42, my husband was careless a few weeks back while we were intimate. I freaked out at the time bc I knew I was ovulating, but I thought seriously what are the chances at my age. Well today is day 28 of my cycle and I took a positive test. I am honestly beside myself bc I had closed this chapter but also just so worried for what that means for a baby at my age. And for myself, I’m questioning if I can even do this again physically. I just have all the worries right now.

I had a consultation with a fertility doctor who said because I am 46 the ONLY way to have a baby is with IVF etc that it will NOT happen naturally. Is this true? My husband is out of the country for work permanently and I will be moving there as well, and IVF is very expensive there so its out of the question, I am so sad. I told hubby and he said to be positive and have faith but thats just not realistic how can I be positive. Do you know of anyone my age who concived naturally?

I just wanted to share an update to my previous post from the start of my two week wait for #2.

I am 40 and recently passed my half birthday. I had a positive pregnancy test result this morning, two clear lines with the help of our 16 month old and the good luck & vibes of being at the family cottage--the same place I found out I was pregnant with him :-)

I had an inkling, as I had some very light pink implantation spotting a couple of days ago!

I know a lot can happen, and I can't check betas until Tuesday, but I want to believe this is sticky: I had a nice mature follicle, supported by 400mg/day of progesterone, and have been taking egg quality supplements for many months (coQ10, NFH Oocyte SAP, vitamin D, high DHA fish oil, Myo inositol). Maybe it's in my head, but I may be starting to feel some nausea!

No matter what happens, today I am pregnant.

Before we came here, we learned there was a family of skunks next door with a few babies, and now at the cottage, a family of minks with two babies under the canoe, and turtles coming up on shore to lay eggs! Feels like beautiful omens ☺️

I have not told my husband yet, but just had to share with someone who "gets it!" 💕🍀

I’m not a big person, before I got pregnant I was 126 (height 5’6). I’ve gained roughly 30 pounds at 23 weeks, which is a over the recommended US graph, and I know that’s okay and not too big a deal. I’m trying not to focus on the weight.

The thing is, I’m worried about is how challenging things are ALREADY getting …. so early!!

It’s hard to bend down, get off the couch/bed, move around the kitchen, hand my kid snacks in the car, put underwear/pants/shoes on, sit in forward positions. I don’t remember things being this challenging this early on!

And like I said, I know subsequent pregnancies get bigger each time because our muscles, joints, ligaments are already conditioned for pregnancy, but THIS IS JUST EXTREME! WTF BODY!

I just found out I am pregnant and if I choose to have it I will be 41 when the baby is born and it will be my 3rd. I have a 16 and 14year old and I thought I was done. I’m only just 5 weeks. My eldest has complex medical issues and needs a lot of help and appointments. It’s genetic so I would get CVS testing at 11 weeks to check if this baby has the same genetic syndrome. I am considering medical termination but you have to do that before 9 weeks. But something is telling me to have this baby. Is it my hormones making me feel crazy? I really thought I was done with the baby stage can I start again? I’m so confused. I haven’t told anyone not even my husband yet I know he will not want another baby. I feel like it is completely irresponsible to have another baby after all we go through with our eldest. But at the same time I think it could be such a blessing to have another healthy baby.

Everything says to avoid chemical sunscreens but I have only found body 1 sunscreen that checks all the boxes and it is gross and expensive. Salicylate seems to be in everything else that is mineral based.

Hi everyone, I am 42 and found out I was pregnant a week ago. I only took a test because usually it helps my period come faster and I had a beach day planned. To my absolute shock it was positive. A little background, my husband is 51, we have 4 children. My first 3 were conceived with fertility medicine because I rarely ovulate on my own. I had all 3 in my 20's. We tried for years to have a 4th but it never happened so we gave up. Fast forward to 2021 and we talked about another again. I tried fertility meds again and boom got pregnant with my 4th who is now 4. We were so happy and so done. Gave everything away, and never thought about more again. There is a 8.5 year age gap between #3 and #4 and it truly felt like starting over. We did not want to do this again, I had a really rough recovery last time due to age and it being my 4th section. I haven't told anyone other than my husband. He wants me to end the pregnancy, but I am not sure i could go through with it. So here we are just pretending that everything is normal and have made no decisions, no appointments. No outcome seems good. Starting all over, going through another geriatric pregnancy, ending it. What do I do? I obviously can't ignore it forever.

Hi everyone! So I’m 40 and 19 weeks pregnant and I had my anatomy scan and it looked good! Baby girl is 65% percentile. I’ve had good results on NIPT and AFP.

The MFM made me a little uneasy because she was sort of encouraging an amnio based only on the fact that I’m 40. Every screening and scan has done great so I feel like…why take any additional risk? I wasn’t planning on it and am heavily leaning no but she made me question it. She said there’s still a 1-2% chance that there could be a genetic issue because I’m older and the risk of miscarriage from amnio is lower than genetic issue risk.

My best friend is also pregnant, six months older than me, also had all good scan results, and no one has encouraged this.

I’m not exactly sure what I’m looking for. I think I’d mostly like to hear from other 40+ women who were in similar situations (all good scans/screenings) and decided not to do it and feel good about that.

Update: y’all were very helpful. The conclusion I came to is that I’m going to do a genetic carrier screening. If anything is flagged for me, I’ll have my husband do it. If we have any of the same, we’ll do amnio and if we don’t have any of the same then the risk is extremely low at that point so we won’t.

So I’m 5 weeks 4 days into my second pregnancy.

My first was three years ago and I didn’t even realize I was pregnant until I was nearly ten days late the first time. I remember a gnawing feeling in my stomach that I thought was pure anxiety and fear that I’m coming to realize is just part of being pregnant.

My pregnancy time around is so different. I FEEL pregnant. When I sit to go to the bathroom it reminds me of the second trimester pushing awkwardly on my bladder. When I lay on my back I feel that pressure of my uterus (well I assume my uterus). There is no pain. Just way more sensation of feeling pregnant than I had my first go around. I don’t know if it’s just awareness or what.

So question: For those who are second or third or more times mamas, does this make sense to you? Especially so early on? I feel like I’m 12 weeks not barely 6. Is this just being more aware? Or is your body more sensitive? I had a c-section for my first if that matters. Part of my skin still has no feeling around the incision lol.

Hi- I’d love to hear your stories. Any ladies over 40 conceive and have a successful birth after 40 with an AMH around or lower than .05?

Natural, IUI, IVF. Would love to hear about your experience.

Can I get pregnant if I had makelove 3 days after I noticed raw egg-white cervical discharge?

I'm 41 but due with a baby next week on my 42nd bday. This is my 4th baby and all other babies came after my due date (2 inductions, 1 went into labor on my own). My doc wants me to deliver within my 39th week which starts tomorrow. I had to go in this morning for monitoring because she has been very sluggish and not her usual self. I didn't feel her for almost two hours when I woke up today. The monitoring showed that she's perfectly fine thankfully and it's up to me on next steps.

So WWYD? I could go and get induced tomorrow and get her out safely but risk a long, painful induction OR I could wait a few more days to see if my body gets moving. Thoughts?

EDIT! Scheduled for tomorrow morning. Thank you moms!! Wish me luck!

Hello ladies, I’m starting to see a lot of ads on creams for preventing stretch marks and am wondering which have actually worked? My mom gave me the “old school” cocoa butter but is there something else? Would love to hear what you used to prevent stretch marks during pregnancy and when you started using it.

TW...

Newly pregnant at 42 after trying naturally and newly miscarried at 7 weeks sadly and currently grieving but planning for the future (also no other children). I want to get straight into IVF as soon as my HCG goes down to zero because I know age is not on my side. But I haven't mapped out the IVF journey.

What can and should I expect? ATM I only want to use my own eggs and they'd be from this age no previously frozen ones available.

I probably have to pay out of pocket based on my circumstances. But I understand the financial costs.

24 hours in to that positive test i have realized that being newly pregnant is an incredibly lonely place. I'll give you a quick back story.

I'm 41, partner is 32

I had cervical cancer at 24 and they removed 95% of my cervix

At the same time they also diagnosed me with endometriosis.

I fought tooth and nail to have my daughter at 28 (with what was absolutely the wrong man)

Had a cervical stitch placed at 12 weeks and spend 7 months of the pregnancy on strict bed rest.

Delivered naturally late after all the worry. 'He' left within 3 months and I embarked on life on my own with this little human. I spent from 2012-2024 on continuous birth control to manage the endometriosis and had a number of laparoscopic surgeries along the way to keep me comfortable.

2024 I was booted out of my home (with 8 horses/chickens/my daughter and three dogs) became estranged from my father (which was a good thing, he is a very toxic man) and started my life again. I dabbled with HRT as my hormonal symptoms were endless, I soon realized that i in fact had PMDD and literally was a different person for half the month.

I nosedived and ended up having a nervous breakdown from the end of 2024 to mid 2025 when i started healing all of my childhood/medical and adult trauma with EMDR therapy, my body lost the ability to digest food and in May 2025 i weighed 5 stone 37kg, it very nearly killed me.

At the end of this healing journey i met my person, having attracted nasty narcissistic men my whole life all of a sudden healed, here he was.

As i mentioned at the beginning he is younger than me an has no children of his own. I put my hands up and honestly said, i just don't know if my body can or will do it.

I carried on gaining weight back and my periods reemerged in September 2025 so we decided to 'not not try' I have ADHD and OCD so this very quickly turned in to panic stations as nothing was happening, and as the months went on the PMDD got worse and worse to the point where in the last 6 weeks it rocked our relationship so hard it nearly ended. I was convinced this month was a write off with all the stress and upset. Then after three days of feeling a bit nauseous in the morning until i ate i decided to do a test (honestly with no hope) and there was that second line.

how the hell is my body this resilient! He knows, mum and sister know but my brain is going 10 to the dozen, I'm at a higher risk of miscarrying, will the cervical stitch work this time. Is this my last chance*??!!*

I guess I'm just looking for a place to vent this with the odd bit of support in what we all know is a very lonely time before its safe enough to tell anyone.

Sorry for the essay, there isn't really a shorted way of explaining it.

Thanks if you got to the end, and any encouragement would be hugely appreciated.
Georgie xx

So I’m 41 and have a two year old at home (27ish months). I took a test last week and it was positive. My first was a surprise but this one I was trying for actively. No IVF or anything. Just using ovulation strips to guesstimate ovulation and time things.

Last week I got a positive test at 9 dpo. It’s now 16 dpo and honestly the lines look great. My hcg at 12 dpo was 138 (no second day was ordered). But every small twinge or cramping I’m worried I will miscarry. I’ve done this before. You’d think I’d be able to logic my way out of the fear, but I can’t seem to do it.

I think I just needed to find a place where I could chat about it with people who might understand. It’s early so we haven’t told hardly anyone (I think 5 weeks) My husband is very supportive but obviously has no idea what being pregnant feels like. And on top of that he doesn’t really know the statistics behind having a baby when you’re older. He does his best to be positive and supportive, but to him I’m doing a lot of over-worrying.

So hoping this is a place to kinda put those fears out into the universe and get support from those who are going through it or hope to go through it too.

I had a fertility lab done at quest. I’m 41, healthy and have two kids, no previous miscarriages.

The lab results are below:
Amh 0.932, 63% percentile for age
Egg supply score: 5
Fsh: 10.77
Estradiol: 65.09