r/PregnantOver40

Looking for support and maybe advice. I had a spontaneous pregnancy at age 42 a few months ago and lost the pregnancy after having my membranes come through at 16 weeks and got diagnosed with incompetent cervix. I had a rescue calculate but it was too late. I also lost another pregnancy 8 months prior at almost 15 weeks but it was due to chorioamnionitis. That was an IVF baby but it was our last embryo.

I specifically wanted to post to this over 40 mamas group because this was a healthy pregnancy, normal NIPT and it feels so unbelievably cruel to have lost it when in my mind it could have been prevented if it was a standard thing that was looked at during the 13 week scan. But apparently you have to lose a baby previously for someone to even look at that. How horrible is that.

Now at my age, it feels so impossible to get pregnant again. I am a poor candidate for IVF and we are now having the conversation about getting a transabdominal cerclage. However to properly qualify for a transabdominal cerclage in the Netherlands, you have to have failed “preventative” cerclage. So essentially, you lose one baby to cervical insufficiency. Then in the next pregnancy you have to get a preventative cerclage and then have to lose that baby due to a failed cerclage and then they would consider you to be a candidate for a TAC. How cruel is that? To lose 2 babies in the second trimester and then be able to get a TAC.

But also I have so many concerns. It’s still a surgery. Even if I get it, there’s no guarantee that I’ll get pregnant again especially at 43 years old. Is the surgery worth it then. You can get the surgery once you get pregnant too but around 12 or 13 weeks after they make sure the baby is healthy. That feels so scary because one risk would be that the cervix already starts to weaken in someone like me at that point and there could already be an ascending infection by that point. Or that the surgery itself would break the amniotic sac and lose the pregnancy.

My mind feels like a hurricane these days trying to think about the rational decision. Trying to think about how unlucky I feel. I struggled with infertility for so long and then to now deal with this insufficiency and loss.

Im desperate to have another baby 30 years after falling pregnant with my first. I am on birth control still but the thought keeps popping up I would love another baby. Im glad I had all mine so early but what would it be like now. And how would husband take it if it did happen. I am so on board, hubby isn't so sure. I just want another baby!

Hi everyone,

I'm not really sure what my post is going to be about exactly, but I feel like I want to put my thoughts down amongst like-minded people.

I am 42 and have pretty much been single my entire life. When I was in my 20s I recall telling an acquaintance that if I was still single when I'm older then I would go and have a baby by myself. Obviously I never imagined that it would actually become my reality, but here we are.

3 years ago I decided to get some basic fertility testing done, and my main reason for not going ahead with solo IVF at the time was because of my financial situation. After telling a male friend (who I was starting to be interested in romantically) that I had the testing done with the view to using donor sperm, he made a "sure I'll do it for free" comment and then after further conversation we decided to see if there could potentially be something between us. Long story short, I invested a lot of feelings in him but things didn't really progress and he eventually just ghosted me. I had started to save money in the meantime anyway and I am now in a much better financial position to pursue the idea of solo IVF.

I have an appointment next Friday for a repeat nurse consultation/bloods. 3 years ago my AMH was 8.4 pmol/l and a few weeks ago I paid to have a home AMH test done and my AMH was 9.29 pmol/l. I'm relieved to know that my AMH has stayed steady in the last 3 years but I also know that my chances are low, considering my age.

I have told some members of my family, who are supportive, but perhaps a bit cautious about encouraging me. For some reason I have found it incredibly difficult to tell my younger sister that I am closest to, and also my parents. Not really sure why this is, maybe I'm worried that they will be 'sensible' about the idea, and discourage me. For some extra context, I still live at home with my parents. My mum has incurable lung cancer and has treatment every 21 days, and my dad has been diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment which is showing up as memory loss/confusion. I obviously worry about whether me trying to bring a child into the home is a ridiculous thing to do, but I also know that I will regret it if I don't at least try to fulfil my dream.

Sorry for the incredibly long post, and thank you if you've made it this far! As I said, I'm not even sure what/if I am looking for advice, or just somewhere to try and process my thoughts amongst like-minded people!

TW: previous chemical
Got my positive evening of 7 DPO. Bloodwork at 9 DPO: 28 And. 11DPO- 106
I am 43 and very happy and kids have been my whole life. Have 2 adult children 22 & 23, and also have worked in the education system most of my life. I truly didn’t think I would ever have anymore kids, have a girl and boy and felt my life was complete and I was truly blessed.
We had a chemical last year and then decided to try for another.
My last pregnancies were at 20 & 21 years old.
Any recommendations on literally anything, so much has changed since I had my last.
I’m a seasoned mom but also feel kind of like with so much changed I need to be truly educated again.
Anything from pregnancy at this age, to newborn stuff etc. best breast pumps, new devices etc,
I will get 8 weeks off work, then my husband will prob take a week or two after me.

Hubby (38M) and I (40F) got married in 2023 and had been NTNP since then. Then, late 2024 and several months into 2025 we were actively trying. The furious tracking of cycles, LH testing, the timed sex, the whole thing. Honestly it wasn't much fun for me. Too much pressure, too much overthinking. I turned 40 in October 2025 and at that point I was just kind of over it in general. Back to NTNP. Started becoming "meh" on having kids and started thinking about early retirement, lots more pets, travel, the adult good life childfree.

By mid February I pretty much told my husband I didn't even have a desire to have kids anymore and was really childfree-minded. Pretty sure the next time he came in me (spontaneous sex, wasn't tracking ovulation at all) is when I got knocked up. Go figure!!

Fast forward to last week and I get a positive pregnancy test. Whoa. Total surprise! I hadn't notated all of our sex in my app but the timing just did not add up! My "irregular April period" was 100% not a period. My PMS symptoms were pregnancy symptoms. I had NO nausea, morning sickness, or fatigue! I was living normal life. Then something just seemed off so I tested. That thing turned dark pink before I could even set the timer.

Went in today and turns out I'm 12 weeks already! When the ultrasound began and we saw a whole-ass baby up on the screen, I couldn't help but burst out laughing! My husband was in shock, expecting to see a blob. But instead it was a baby with arms, legs, and lots of gymnastic skills. We are basically like, holy shit!!

I kept telling the PA how stupid I felt for not knowing! Everyone's consensus is that this is best case scenario, I didn't have to worry early on waiting for the first appointment when you don't really see anything anyway, I didn't have first tri sickness, and now my chance of miscarriage is basically down to 5%. (Ladies who had a trying first tri, don't hate me. I still am kind of bummed to have found out this "late.")

I was able to get all the genetic testing done today too, so we are praying that all comes back normal. We should know in about a week. Everything with my vitals was good and everything measurable on baby looked good. Doc said to keep myself healthy, that it's totally possible to go full term and have a vaginal birth. Which is my goal.

We are still dumbfounded, but excited! Trying to figure out when/how to tell people! I definitely want to wait until after the genetic testing and then decide from there on when to tell our families. We are not about the big show/recording reactions or social media announcements, so wanting to be low key about it but cute!

Possibly the funniest part of the appt: My husband said to the doc, "Okay, so we didn't know. Baby has been to brunch a few times....should we worry?" The PA laughed and said no worries about that, if anything consumed/ingested early on caused issues then nature would have taken its course already. Little did she know that in addition to a few brunches, baby went to Mexico for a week last month and had QUITE the fiesta.

Cheers to the ladies out there trying, please remain hopeful! Cheers to the ladies who found out and were totally surprised, we got this! Cheers to us all! Please feel free to share your stories or ask any questions you have.

Edit to add: I am a FTM, but I was pregnant once before ~15 years ago which I voluntarily did not carry forward.

Unless this cycle (I am 8dpo) I am magically pregnant I am starting Letrozole next cycle.

My Obgyn said there are mixed results for pregnancy rates with women over 40, but she is comfortable with us doing a few cycles. I do ovulate regularly, and I’ve gotten pregnant twice in the last 10 months (1 MMC at 10 weeks, 1 chemical).

I started out thinking I wouldn’t use any medications and if it happened then good and if not then I would be ok. But now….. here we are.

I am 42 and just recently had my 5th loss (chemical).
I had 2 miscarriages in my early 30s, one was arund 6-8 week, one was right at 12 weeks and apparently everything was ok (from genetic standpoint), then I didn't try for a while. I got pregnant at first try at 41, the again, miscarriage at 6 weeks. Got pregnant again, chemical pregnancy. I changed partners, took me a while to find someone at this age, finally got pregnant, another miscarriage( even sooner). I am worried because my last 2 losses were chemical pregnancies. Does it mean I don't have any good eggs left? I froze my eggs at 38, have 16 frozen eggs so I can always use those, I just want to know that it's the eggs not the environment (that's the problem). I had so many tests done and everything seemed fine.. besides PAI 4g/4g but I started taking Enoxaparin and Aspirin in my last 3 pregnancies.
Any success stories? As a Data Scientist, I am looking at trend and it doesn't look good to me, so please, share your stories!

24w3d pregnant and looking for some reassurance/advice. This morning when wiping I noticed two small white clumpy/chunky pieces on the outside, which I’ve never experienced before, and now I’m worried it could be a yeast infection, mucus plug, or something concerning.

I’m not having bleeding, a gush/leaking of fluid, severe cramping, itching, or a strong odor. I’m currently out of town on a roadtrip and won’t be back home for a few days, so naturally my anxiety is spiraling a little.

Has anyone experienced random white clumpy discharge in the second trimester and everything turned out fine?

For those of you who were previously pregnant in your 20s or 30s, did you find pregnancy in your 40s to be more difficult physically or about the same?

I am 7 weeks along and waiting for my first OB appointment next week, so while I hope everything is okay I won’t know until the scan. I am feeling EXHAUSTED and my pelvis is aching way more and way earlier than it did with my prior pregnancies. I am also way more bloated. The nausea and food aversions are worse too. I’m just not sure if it’s because I’m older, or if it’s just this pregnancy being a tough one.

After an IVF cycle was canceled before egg retrieveal after 8 days of stims, I ended up conceiving naturally. Symptoms came on strong 8 days before my period was due. I tested positive 10 days ago, first HCG was 384, second was 1565, third one was 4200. My progesterone was 22, then 17.9, then 12.9. I am still only about 5 weeks 2 days along and having nausea and breast pain but after all the losses I am just so scared and worried my progesterone is another sign something is wrong. Dr says it's normal to fluctuate between 10 and 20 at this phase. The first loss happened when I was 40, just before 6 weeks and the HCG was 1300 at the time bleeding started. The other two losses were early chemical pregnancies. Just sharing in case anyone has any wisdom about to ride out uncertainty like this.

This is my first post on Reddit. I just created this username. I’ve been using Reddit so much throughout my entire pregnancy. I was a silent reader and never engaged in any discussions but boy oh boy did I learn a lot - so a big thank you to this community. I’m writing this post as a testimony and as an encouragement to other moms pregnant or ttc over 40.

My overall weight, mental health and spiritual health is pretty good. I eat very clean, home cooked food mostly, zero to no processed foods or ingredients. I’m an active (not super athletic) walker, runner and biker.

My period is always on time and had sex without contraception, which we usually don’t, and I began to start feeling symptoms around 6 weeks later. I tested positive and then scheduled my first prenatal appointment. We weee not trying to have a baby.

Morning sickness was brutal this time around. It wasn’t until mid second trimester that I felt more like myself. Other than that I had a completely healthy pregnancy and spontaneous vaginal birth around 40 week 3 days ish. I was in labor and delivery for a little under 24 hours and then delivered my baby.

My baby is one months old and sleeping in my arms as I write this.

For all the moms ttc or pregnant over 40. I wish you a safe and healthy pregnancy. You got this! And if you have specific questions please message me.

Edit: I got pregnant naturally but I was induced after I was a week and some days past my due date using cervadil and pitocin. My baby’s birth was not natural in a sense that it was unmedicated. I had to use epidural. I had painful contractions all night, the night I was admitted after they inserted the cervadil. By morning I was dying in pain and asked for epidural around 6 am and then they started and stopped pitocin because baby’s heart rate kept dropping and then baby was delivered a few hrs later.

I’m 40 and just had a chemical pregnancy after my first positive. I recently did another IUI and I’m in the waiting period now. Curious to hear real experiences from women who’ve had chemical or miscarriages.

How long after a chemical did you conceive successfully?
Did you keep trying naturally/IUI or move to IVF?
At what point did you decide IVF was worth it?

Trying to stay hopeful but also realistic about timing and age. Would really appreciate honest stories, especially from anyone who conceived after a chemical at 40 ❤️

Just got my results of my egg retrieval. I only had 2 eggs retrieved, only 1 fertilized, but it did not make it to a blastocyst. I’m heartbroken as I know time is against me (I’m 43yrs old), but I’m still holding on to the smallest bit of hope for a miracle to happen. I had 2 retrievals/fresh transfers last year, then this was my 3rd retrieval and I was going to freeze the embryos, as I have endometriosis so I would need some time before transfer to settle my hormones. I’m just starting to feel hopeless. I’ve had 5 miscarriages but all conceived naturally, so I’m hoping there’s still some good ones left (I didn’t know I had endo, so the mc’s were probably due to that). Anyone else have/having the same experience?

I am 42F living in British Columbia, Canada conceived through IVF PGTA testing. Except for SIPs everything is out of pocket pay here.
For 40+ , did you first do the SIPs / quad screen test before doing the NIPT
If you had to pay out of pocket, which one was better NIPT or NT or both ?
After having done PGTA , did the results differ on NIPT ? After PGTA you think one should NIPT, NT or both if above 40 years ?

Thanks

I got my period on 8th May and was on Letrozole 5 mg from cycle day 2–6. I went for a scan on 13th May and had two follicles measuring 9 mm and 9.5 mm. My doctor then gave me an HCG 150 mg injection.

I went for another scan today (16th), but apparently I had already ovulated early. I honestly don’t understand what’s going on with my body anymore.

This is my third medicated cycle. We even tried IUI, but I ovulated before the procedure. In my first cycle, I don’t even have proper follicle data because I ovulated before the scan. In the second cycle, my follicle was around 17.4 mm when I ovulated. This time again, I don’t have proper data because I was supposed to do scan today.

My doctor says I’m ovulating too early and that the eggs may not be mature. I really don’t know how to process this. Feeling very frustrated and confused right now.

I’m 39 and have been trying to conceive for nearly 2 years. Has anyone else experienced early ovulation like this on Letrozole? What worked for you?

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting here! I’m 42 and so happy to finally be in my second trimester. Watching the bump grow has been such a joy, but the lower back pain is becoming impossible to ignore.

Naturally, I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of maternity support belts. I found one on Shein that looks exactly like what I need, but the reviews are so mixed. I’m mostly looking for something to wear during daily activities like light walks or running errands, nothing too intense.

Has anyone here actually tried one? Does it provide enough support, or are they just flimsy? I’d love to hear your experiences! TIA!

Anyone here expecting twins? I just got the news. I’m 41 and will be 41 when I deliver. I’m sick as a dog and incredibly exhausted. I have two other young kiddos at home.

Any tips? Suggestions? Things to buy to help me out? It’s a lot to take in.

Thanks!

I was diagnosed with Bell’s Palsy a few days ago after waking to the left side of my face completely paralyzed. I’m 36 weeks pregnant and hear it’s more common in late pregnancy. Has anyone experienced this? What was the recovery like?

I’m currently 5 weeks pregnant aged 42 (partner just turned 44) and already have a 4.5 year old. I’m fit and healthy (keen runner, don’t drink or smoke, eat healthily, not overweight etc.), but I can’t help feeling I’m too old to be having another child and concerned about how I’ll recover (I will need a second c section after a very traumatic birth with my first child) and health implications for the baby due to our age. Haven’t told anyone yet (partner aside!) as trying to process it all. Any insights would be appreciated, thanks!

I had my first daughter at 31. No complications I delivered full tern with healthy c section pregnancy . my daughter is 9 now and she's the sweetest thing . 🩷 . I begin trying for another baby at 38 after having an IUD for anout 5-6 years . I got pregnant right after my 39th birthday and was so excited . At my 8th week check up I found no heart beat and no growth after the 6 week mark . I was devastated as I never had a miscarriage before . I moved on and we continued to try naturally getting pregnant again right after my 40th birthday and now I am at the 8 week mark again and finding out after this ultrasound the baby stopped growing again at 6 weeks . I'm so sad . I just knew this was my rainbow baby . I'd just gotten emgaged and thought it was a fairy tail love story . 🥺After the first miscarriage it was found due to chromosome abnormalities , and now I'm thinking the results will be the same . I am in good heath . healthy frequent cycles . no umderlying issues so I'm assuming age is the factor . I am now 40 I'm afraid this will continue so I'm looking and hoping for support by hearing success stories from moms in my same situation . did you go on to have successful pregnancies ?? I'm devastated and almost defeated as I don't want to continue to cause this trauma emotionally . im so thankful for my daughter but would love to have more children. 🩷🥺