r/ReformJews

I've lived my Gen X life with the perspective that Jews just don't get tattoos or face piercings I don't believe in heaven or hell so that's not the issue.

As a progressive individual I realize that everything changes. So....

My 18 year old jewish daughter wants a face piercing and a tattoo. And I'm torn between upholding tradition and being left behind. I'm not a fan of tattoos or piercings but it's not my life.

What has your Jewish experience been with Tattoos and Piercings

I’m in a bit of a tricky situation and would appreciate advice. To cut a long story short, I have a very close friend. We met three years ago. At the time, she was secular/culturally Christian. About two years ago, she became religiously Christian. I never had a problem with it because of course she’s entitled to her own beliefs. We would discuss religion occasionally since we’re both pretty interested in cults, extremism, and the like, and I’m also doing a bachelor’s degree in religion. She has never tried to convert me and previously didn't even bring up theology, except in situations where it was directly relevant. Sometimes she would talk about her own beliefs and practices, but I didn't mind that, because she was just sharing something that happened to her or was personal to her. I could be like "I'm glad you had a good time at church!" or "lol yeah kids do pray in funny ways" and it was fine.

However, lately she has been making religious statements distinct from the kind I mentioned in the above paragraph. I don’t know how to respond to these. They aren’t proselytizing per se, but not academic or neutral either. It’s like…stuff that you only send to someone who already agrees with you. Which is awkward, because I (obviously) do not share her beliefs or practices. Mostly it’s been statements that X belief is heretical, statements that Y belief is absolutely true, and various Christian memes from a “believing” and/or "objective truth" perspective.

Today, she sent me an illustrated cartoon. In the cartoon, Jesus speaks of how much he sacrificed to save people from hell, and asks a little human figure in his hand to do just one thing in exchange: help the vulnerable. Then the little human figure says something like “well, they didn’t do anything to earn my help,” and in the final panel, Jesus does a sort of “looking into the camera” thing a la Jim from The Office.

And like…I don’t know how to respond to something like that, or like the other examples, because…it doesn’t matter to me. It’s cool if it matters to her, and I understand that if you’re a conscientious Christian, something like what happens in that cartoon is a bummer. But saying “bummer!” doesn’t quite feel appropriate. Ditto with the statements about heresy or whatever, where it’s like, I get that this is bad for her, but for me, it’s all equal levels of irrelevant.

Generally, depending on what exactly is said, I’ll do a “thumbs up” reaction to the message, respond “hmmm,” “huh,” or “interesting!” or simply ignore it. But those responses don’t feel quite right either. Since she’s not really proselytizing, I don’t think I can address it like that. (And I'm pretty conflict-averse, so I don't want a Big Conversation.) At the same time, being sent content that is obviously meant for believers of Christianity, when I’m not, puts me in an awkward spot. Sometimes it makes me feel pressured to respond in a way that she likes. She's a very good friend, so I know making me feel pressured isn't her intention, but it's uncomfortable nonetheless.

Am I okay to keep responding with the thumbs up/"interesting!"/ignore methods? Is there another way you think would be more appropriate? All advice appreciated.

(Having finished writing this...I did not "cut a long story short." Apologies for the essay!)

Just wanted to hear some opinions or have an open conversation.

I finished the conversion process through a Reform Shul over a year ago.
Just a bit of background I was brought up in a Jewish area and my step father who basically brought me up was orthodox.
Through DNA I also find out I am Ashkenazi.

However that all aside I went through the process attended the Beth Din after being in the community properly for over 2 years, studying and attending Shul.

I am aware this is not recognised by orthodox Shuls.

If I do not mention I am reform when attend Chabad or other Shuls no one really notices or cares due to me and my partner having more conservative views on certain matters and probably appearing as what the rabbis in those particular synagogues call a traditional family.

Point of what I am saying:

Recently I was asked to do a call up by a member of my home Shul.
When I replied explaining my Hebrew was basic and I didn’t want to he tried to suggest this makes me less Jewish.
When do converts become Jewish enough?

When attending an Orthodox Shul a member who attends with her dad explained she would like to come to our Shul due to other members not agreeing with her sexuality.
To which I replied it’s your choice and the Rabbi was shocked to find out I am in fact reform and became funny ever since.
Why should anyone have to feel less observant because of their own personal preference of who they fall in love with?

I accept all I am happy to be reform as for me I like keeping certain traditions but am not progressive enough to be fully liberal. (My personal choice I know others may disagree that’s fine)

The big question for me is how can we fix anything when we can’t fix things amongst ourselves?

I am welcomed in most Shuls but have seen people born into it not be accepted cause of personal choices/values.
Why should anyone be made to feel they are less or not enough and why does this happen in your opinions?

If you could change one thing about the Reform movement, what would it be?

If you arent a member of the Reform movement, you can still chime in. What is the one thing about the Movement that keeps you away?

Let's keep this civil if we could. ​

Yep…that’s my question. I was raised in a vaguely
Christian household (the Christmas and Easter type) because my mom wanted it. My dad was Jewish but wasn’t at all observant. He did not have a Bar Mitzvah. My paternal grandparents were active members of the temple. I am 50% Ashkenazi. I have never believed the “Jesus stuff” and have felt more and more drawn to the Jewish faith. Even attending a funeral at the temple for a family member recently, I felt a sense of peace and belonging that I can’t explain—even not understanding what was being said. So, my question is, does Reform Judaism consider me Jewish already? Or will I need to go through a conversion process since I was raised Christian, even though I never actually believed the Jesus bit?

Hey all,

So I started attending a reform Synagogue about a year and a half ago, and about six month ago, I decided to officially convert. I have had about half of my conversion classes and an Intro. to Judaism course and have observed every holiday since Purim. I am loving everything...except.

I grew up in a multifaith household, my father was Jewish (Also a Reform Convert) and my mother was some flavor of Christian. Another big part of my upbringing was being poor and totally immersed in northern rural Appalachian culture which comes with it's own cultural foods and recipes. My father never kept Strictly Kosher and seemed to be at peace with that even though his Jewish-ness was also very important to him.

In my own conversion, I keep strictly kosher during holidays and Shabbat (Sundown to sundown) and plan to fast for Yom Kippur. But during other times I enjoy important Appalachian foods like BBQ Chipped Ham Sandwhiches, Ham Beans, and Fried Pork Chops with applesauce. I do this because in observing Kashrut on my own terms allows me to celebrate the commandment, whereas I feel if I kept kosher (or kosher-like) all the time I would come to resent the Mitzvah rather than celebrate it.

I Guess what I'm asking, is: Is that acceptable? I have asked my Rabbi and he merely says "We all walk our own path towards God.", meaning he's never chastised me for it but hasn't come out and said it's fine. I did some research online and found that only about 5% or American Reform Jews keep strictly kosher, and roughly 30% keep Kosher-like diets.

Anyway, thanks for any feedback you can give!

Shalom,

Dave.

Thought I would share some positive news!

The event marked the first major conference since the merger of Liberal Judaism and Reform Judaism, creating the UK’s largest Progressive Jewish movement.

Shalom! My name is Finnick, I am a trans male (he/him) looking into converting to Judaism and am looking for some advice as I go through this process.
For context, I've been attracted to Judaism since middle school. However, my mother and father are not religious although my grandmother on my mother's side is descendant of Jews who converted to Catholicism - this made me almost fearful of even attempting to convert because of potential judgement.
I am now 18 and living in my own apartment with my partner, who is very supportive of whatever life I lead as long as it is not harmful. This has allowed me much more freedom to explore in general, and I find significance in the fact that I have been drawn back to Judaism at the age of 18 due to the number's meaning in Hebrew. Exploring the history and beliefs of specifically Reform Judaism has reignited a passion within me that I have missed very dearly and I find myself falling in love with the knowledge and assistance available to me and so many others just over online platforms.
All of this being said, I am not very far along in the process as I am still mostly learning and observing. Although, I am looking into finding rituals and prayers to include in my daily life as I am going deeper into conversion.

My main issue at the moment is that I do not have a community or many friends I can share this passion and interest with. I have never had a very big friend group to begin with, and although I am grateful for the friend I do have who will listen and share my interest he is not Jewish and does not live nearby. My partner will smile and nod, but he is also not religious.
I know of a Reform synagogue in a nearby city and the drive is not very far at all, which I am thankful for, so whenever I am ready to contact a rabbi and join a synagogue I already know where I can look into.
The lack of community leaves me feeling almost alone and lost in this road I have come to choose. So, what I am looking for mostly is different points of view and what others have went through; whether it be from converts or those who have always been Jewish or otherwise, I want to hear it all. I want what steps you went through, what challenges you were/are faced with. I want criticism, I want positive responses, I want negative responses, I want exposure. If that can be provided to me here, I will be overjoyed.
Currently, I plan on going to a Judaica near me that sells literature and Kosher dishes. I am hoping to find my first siddur there, but otherwise I am lost on what I can actually do currently to not just learn and observe but live this religion. Anything, even if not direct advice, is useful to me.

Thank you very much! I hope to hear as many different perspectives as possible.

It’s really important to me to date Jewish men and even though I’m 21 I don’t want to waste my time. But I’ve seen a trend that Reform men don’t care about dating/marrying someone Jewish. Do y’all think this is an accurate take or reform men also care about marrying/dating Jewish?

So I'm currently living in an area with one shul in a 90 mile radius. It's very small and I would have a lot of one on one time with the rabbi as I convert, but I would definitely miss out on having others who are going through the same journey as me. The two other shuls I'm considering are about 90-100 miles away and are much larger and more involved but would require me to drive nearly 2 hours one way for class and services. Moving is absolutely on the list, but not in the next year or so. Would you stick close to home while learning or make the trek if it meant meeting more people? I'll also add I live in Minnesota, so driving that far in the winters is sometimes just not advisable (but those shuls have zoom options when needed).