r/ReformJews

Dear r/ReformJews,

I have been on a spiritual journey with God in pursuing the Jewish faith through my local Chabad and Hillel at university, but recently moved to a new community and haven't yet connected with the Jewish community here. My family history is in Jewish faith on my paternal side, so I felt in my adult life I wanted to connect with Judaism to honour my family, I have worked for a Jewish organization that does Holocaust education, and even done a trip to Auschwitz, but still have had an incredibly hard time in the community. I think the next step in life is going to Israel, and wanted to make Aliyah, but I don't have all the required documents (some of them lost to time), and my family's support in this. Any advice?

Wondering what you think of this spin-off from the Reform Movement.

To preface, I don't know if I'm necessarily converting just yet. I'm observing shabbat and have began attending a Reform synagogue near me. It's really nice. During this exploration process, when I read books like Living a Jewish Life by Anita Diamant, or Here All Along by Sarah Hurwitz, I am left with an empowered feeling that I, too, can feel comfortable as a transgender woman in exploring Judaism. That there is room for religion as a powerful tool in my life, just as much as everyone else. That's a great feeling coming from an Evangelical Christian background. Something I've never experienced with religion before and I don't want to let it go.

However, those feelings of safety in Judaism come to a screeching halt when I find out that Sarah Hurwitz recommends resources from people who are transphobic; people I would never knowingly want to support (like Bari Weiss (transphobe) or Rabbi Sacks (who has stated that Judaism is not okay with gay marriage)), or when the sub constantly recommends sources from Joseph Telushkin, who believes that trans women shouldn't be allowed to play in women's sports. Personally, I don't care to support those who believe I should have less rights than them simply because I'm trans. I'm sure many Jewish people can empathize with that.

So that's why I'm asking here today: Are there any authors of books on Judaism who are supportive of the trans community? Who do believe that we are people who deserve to be able to do the same things as everyone else? They don't need to be explicitly about supporting the LGBTQ+ community, but they should at least not have a record of them saying things that are inherently transphobic or homophobic.

Surely there must be others like me?

EDIT: I just want to say thank you to everyone who responded and provided resources/places to look! It is exactly what I was looking for and this post exceeded expectations in terms of responses. I appreciate it so much. Truly 😄 I also just wanna say that you are all right. I can't just run away or discredit the ways someone may be able to help me just because I don't agree with their views. I'm someone who uses my dollar to show support but I suppose with how new being trans is to Judaism, I'm asking for a bit much. Maybe it'll be easier in the future. For now, I'll take what I can get (plus, I'm sure they have some good information to offer). Thank you!

r/Judaism seems to be dominated by the Orthodox.

I love to discuss Torah and find my own interpretations which may or may not be consistent with Rabbinical interpretations. Anyone else?

So a little back story. I am Jewish my wife is Catholic by tradition and more agnostic borserline atheist in practice. We've been together since we were teenagers. She respects many of my tradition and beliefs. We have a two yr old daughter together and she has gone to synagogue for more holidays and festivals and we say prayers every friday and i keep passover. We also celebrate the more secular traditions of Easter and Christmas in our house.

Here's the tricky part. We are expecting a son, and we have gotten into discussions over circumcision. She is saying she will be respectful of me and my beliefs but is having hold ups because of science and logic says the historical aspect of circumcision is cleanliness and we as modern humans know how to keep clean and the possible connection to increased pleasure.

I have hold outs on this decision because we are not raising our children with any one religion and respect for all religions, but also I'm a practicing reform jew, and there is part of me that is like Tevye with how far we are willing to go and him shunning Chava. Im just wanting to hear from other modern reform jews in a similar situation.

Hello everyone,

I hope you’re doing well and Happy Mother’s Day to all the great ones out there! As a refomer, I have no desire (or should I say Find value at this point) to keep kosher or keep “real” Shabbat. I do however (for reasons I can’t articulate) enjoy wearing my kippah all the time and reading the Torah before I go to bed. Any other reformers on this subreddit wear their Kippahs all the time? Any other traditions that speak to you? I’m really enjoying getting more involved in my faith and loom forward to joining a congregation soon. Let me know what you do, suggestions, and here’s to reignating my Jewish Faith! Much love from this 40 year old in NY!

P. S. While I enjoy wearing my kippah, there’s a part of me that feels like a fraud because I don’t keep kosher or keep a traditional Shabbat so when I’m in more religious areas I put it in my pocket.

I will try to keep this on topic and not put my entire relationship with my father on this post.

I just got married to my husband last month, he is Jewish (Reform). I was raised Catholic but haven't been to a church in at least 20 years. We have been together since 2021. (This is important, I promise)

Today I was taking my father to a doctors appointment (since hes not allowed to drive for a week or two since surgery) and he got to talking about a former employer of his, and wondering if the company they ran is still in business. I told him, I thought they were since I have seen their trucks around recently. He says something to the effect of "Of course they wouldn't close up the business, they want the money, they are Jewish afterall"

I almost pulled off the highway and took him back home. I admit that I absolutely lost my cool and raised my voice. I asked him why he would think saying something like that to me was ok, knowing I have a Jewish husband and that I have not tolerated his racism or bigotry in the past. He tried to apologize but I basically shut down and only spoke to him out of necessity.

On the way home he tried to apologize again, I told him I won't condone antisemitism and that if he keeps up speaking like this he won't have a daughter anymore. I told him he needed to educate himself and find out why he believes that perpetuating these stereotypes is ok.

I am absolutely heartbroken. I don't even want him around my husband now. I don't want him in my home. I don't even want to talk to him right now.

The worst part is, I have been dipping my toe into the idea of conversion, because after spending 5 years of holidays experiencing Judaism, I find its very comforting to me. Is he going to hold on to these horrible ideas of Judaism after his own daughter is Jewish?(If I proceed)

I am sorry this is really heavy, I just need some insight and I felt like I would find some here more than anywhere else (this feels more like a safe space than AIO). I feel conflicted, like I may have went overboard but at the same time, how could I not defend the people I love....from the people I love?

I did talk to my husband about this, I didnt tell him exactly what was said, but he needed to know why I was so upset all day. He's not exactly the advice guy. He will listen and not judge, and allow me to vent.

A few key points. My father has said really hurtful things before, and I have forgiven him. He has had a decent relationship with my husband, and thinks hes a good guy.

I guess basically, has anyone gone through something like this, and how do you navigate it? I obviously need a few days of zero contact until I can sort out my feelings and be less angry at him.

Hello all, so this year i have been doing some soul diving, i've honestly tried every religion at least once but so far none have felt like 'me'. And since my family has no religious background i have the freedom to choose luckily (but they are still critical about religion in general lol but still feel eager to find one)

I'm coming at this with a complete blank slate i know Judaism like other religions has a wide spectrum but i've found Reform Judaism has the closest beliefs that i share anyway and i feel the most comfortable with dipping my toes into.

I was wondering if any one would be kind enough to share what books a total newbie like me with no clue should look into? or just. your favorite/most approachable books on any topic i feel like i don't have an exact map on where to go but i have been doing some basic research into things. I would also like any youtubers /podcasts you watch and listen to i have explored some already but i would like more real people's opinions rather than just a simple google search.

Thank you.

Female btw (should’ve mentioned that in title.)

Hey all,

For the past four years or so I have felt a strong, emotional desire to convert to Judaism.

I have done a fair amount of research and I feel that Reform is what calls to me the most.

However, I have some 'baggage' I'm worried about.

For one, I'm covered in tattoos. Big back pieces, work in progress sleeves. Nothing I can't cover with long sleeves but nothing small, either.

I've always felt that God made our bodies to be loved and lived in and as somebody who was abused as a child it was very important for me to reclaim myself and my body. I just don't think He would want me to be ashamed of myself.

Since beginning to seriously explore this, though, I've been wondering how I would even begin to approach this topic with a rabbi, let alone with community members.

How do reform Jews approach tattoos? I know the 'official' approach, but I mean on a communal, social level. How much pushback could I expect from a community?

I'm also queer. I don’t want to go too in depth, but I'm in a same sex relationship. It's taken me a while to get to where I am with my queerness and I don't want to hide it. What are the attitudes amongst Reform Jews in regards to open queerness? I know its regional and contextual but I'm taking this one step at a time, yaknow?

I don't want to sound like I'm not serious about conversion or that I'm just half heartedly committing, but I'm an overthinker and would really appreciate some input.

Advice about Conversion

Converting

I have been seriously considering converting to Judaism.

I have attended a Reform Synagogue near me and have had incredibly positive experiences there.

The rabbi is incredibly dynamic and everyone there has been incredibly welcoming.

I have met quite a few people there who converted for their spouses and marriages and they shared their experiences of conversion with me. It made me feel so at ease and that I would be welcomed there as well if converted.

My concerns are that I was born, baptized, and confirmed Episcopalian and even my first name feels problematic and embarrassing to me (it’s actually Christian… Lol) I just introduce myself as “Chris” when I am there.

To complicate matters further I have been more and more interested in Orthodoxy and more specifically Modern Orthodox, but feel that I would most likely not be accepted if I attempted to pursue that path.

Anyhow, I was hoping for some advice and perhaps people sharing their feelings on conversion and how they feel about converts in their own communities.