r/janeausten

Well, yes, there is certainly a social gap between them. The difference in wealth is astronomical; and Mr. Darcy has connections to the aristocracy, while some of Elizabeth's relatives aren't even part of the landed gentry. It's certainly a bit of a mismatch, but I can't help but wonder, if we were to look at the context realistically (and ignore potential fictional dramatization for plot purposes), how much of Mr. Darcy's original perception of the divide between himself and Elizabeth is exaggerated as a result of his pride, and how much could be accepted as a very real concern that reflects Regency attitudes? Would many people in Mr. Darcy's circles have truly been very critical?

As Elizabeth says in response to Lady Catherine, she and Mr. Darcy are "equal," she is the daughter of a gentleman, after all (ch. 56). She isn't a working-class girl, this isn't a Cinderella story, or the fourth season of Bridgerton.

Yet, Lady Catherine (also guilty of pride) strongly believes that marriage to Elizabeth would "disgrace" Mr. Darcy "in the eyes of everybody," and "ruin him in the opinion of all his friends, and make him the contempt of the world" (ch. 56).

But then Colonel Fitzwilliam (not prideful, simply realistic) implies that if younger sons could afford the luxury of marrying without paying "attention to money" (ch. 33), he possibly would've considered pursuing a love match (though he would definitely never dare to think of marrying anyone outside of the gentry/aristocracy, but he would perhaps be fine with the woman being poorer than him and not having grand connections if he genuinely liked her).

In the end, Mr. Darcy is not said to be grievously injured by marrying Elizabeth; his friends don't abandon him, he doesn't suffer financially, neither does his marriage affect the future prospects of his sister; even Lady Catherine eventually succumbs (and I'm sure that if he had married an actress, for example, she would've never forgiven him). So my question is, especially for those familiar with Regency reality and perhaps even real-life similar cases, is Mr. Darcy exaggerating how much the world would be against such a match due to his own pride and prejudices, or did Austen carefully omit the negative aspects that would've plagued this union in order not to spoil the romantic conclusion for the reader?

Given the other thread on "Netherfield" being available for purchase, I can't help but wonder who actually owned Netherfield?

It seems a little odd to me that it was clearly long-term vacant ("Netherfield is let at last!") yet surely must have been kept up for Bingley to move in easily? So that means someone with old money owns the place and is keeping it staffed and in good standard, yet isn't using it for a long time? Anyone have theories on why this would be and what sort of true owner it might have? Are there historical examples of estates like this being vacant in this way without being neglected?

At a best guess I'd maybe assume it belonged to someone who died (perhaps part of a portfolio of properties of an exceptionally rich person), and couldn't be let whilst some probate or something was going on, or the family were deciding what to do with it.

In series like Bridgerton and others, we're told that if a woman is found alone with a man, it's assumed they're secret lovers and are forced to marry, or the woman will be ruined. However, in other works, like Jane Austen's, it's not uncommon for a woman to go for a walk in the countryside ALONE and chat with someone she meets along the way. So, what kind of encounter is it that tarnishes a woman's honor? Or are we simply mixing up eras, and it was in another period of English history that a woman couldn't be alone?

Egdcote House which was Netherfield Park in the 1995 series is on the market for £45 million. What if we all pitched in?

In Northanger Abbey, there's a scene where General Tilney invites himself, Eleanor and Catherine to dinner at Woodston on a Wednesday, and Henry immediately goes home (on a Saturday, two days early) to prepare. The fact that Henry needs five days to prepare a dinner that meets the general's standards obviously tells us a lot about the characters, but in the days before modern refrigeration, what would practically have been accomplished with those two extra days?

The later line "other subjects being studiously brought forward and supported by Henry, at the same time that a tray full of refreshments was introduced by his servant" might suggest the housekeeper is Henry's only domestic servant, in which case she'd have a ton of work to do. I'll avoid going into my speculations about Henry's finances, but since he's only home a few days a week it would make sense for him to keep minimal domestic staff even if he could afford to hire more. My wild guess is that at most he has the housekeeper and a maid, and that the housekeeper serves as the cook.

Here are my guesses on what they're doing with that time, but I'm curious if anyone has other (perhaps better-founded) theories.

• Putting in orders at the butcher, etc
• Getting a start on multi-day dishes, like preserves or pickles
• Hiring temporary help from the village to prepare the meal
• Getting through other household tasks so that Wednesday is completely free for cooking

Greetings fellow Austen fans!

I just purchased S & S from an online bookseller and was so excited to read. Sadly, the font size is too small.

Any recommendations for a better edition, publisher easier on the eyes? I prefer the book format to kindle.

Thanks.

I finished Pride and Prejudice not long ago, and while I found Austen's writing completely compelling, sharp, witty, and deeply admirable, I've been left genuinely puzzled by one thing: how does Elizabeth fall for Darcy?

Consider the evidence. His first proposal is, by any measure, an act of condescension. He essentially tells Elizabeth that he loves her in spite of her family and social standing, and expects gratitude for it. Then comes the famous letter, which doubles down rather than apologises. His pride is not merely implied; it's the entire texture of the man. So where exactly is the redemption arc?

From where I stood as a reader, Darcy is largely unlikable beyond a passing reference to his physical appearance and, eventually, his estate. I never felt his character truly reckon with itself. There's no real accountability, no moment of genuine self-reflection delivered to Elizabeth directly. And without that, I struggle to believe she'd feel any romantic pull toward him — the novel tells me her opinion changes, but I'm not sure I feel it.

Which leads me to wonder: is this a cultural context issue? In Regency England, was a man simply not insulting you a form of high romance? Or is the turn more pragmatic than romantic, Pemberley as revelation, marriage as utility plainly understood?

I'd genuinely love to hear from readers who find the Darcy love story convincing. What am I missing?

Can someone please explain this part to me please - 'the first part of the journey was performed in too melancholy a disposition to be otherwise than tedious or unpleasant'.

does it mean the dashwoods were caught in such a sadness that the journey could be nothing but tedious and unpleasant?

I was reading "Sense, Sensibility, Society" out of Jane Austen: A Very Short Introduction by Tom Keymer today and came across this:

"Even so, just as there's audible mockery of Marianne in Austen's account of her determination to be unable to sleep, there seems to be something less than full approval, and a sense of almost inhuman self-denial, in her later account of Elinor's inscrutable, unshaken demeanour when arriving at dinner 'two hours after she had first suffered the extinction of all her dearest hopes.'"

The essay doesn't pinpoint exactly where the narration seems to disapprove of Elinor, but eventually extrapolates out the idea that "Elinor's refusal to turn a hair two hours after the extinction of her hopes implies not only robotic repression but also an acquiescence in codes of behavior that work to entrap her." My understanding is that if Sense and Sensibility is to be read, at least in part, as a condemnation of, as the essay puts it, "the precarious, dependent condition of unmoneyed women in a world of constraint and dispossession," then, yes, Elinor should come in for some blame for not bucking the system, in contrast with Marianne who does fight against a world full of "compact[s] of convenience." I am not convinced, however, that the text overtly supports this disapproval. Thoughts?

Reading Emma, every scene with Mr. Knightley was wonderful. He’s steady, intelligent, unfailingly correct, much wiser than everyone else in this novel combined (his brother excepted), and unfailingly courteous to all women.

And then you get to the last few pages, where he tells Emma:

“Nature gave you understanding:—Miss Taylor gave you principles. You must have done well. My interference was quite as likely to do harm as good. It was very natural for you to say, what right has he to lecture me?—and I am afraid very natural for you to feel that it was done in a disagreeable manner. I do not believe I did you any good. The good was all to myself, by making you an object of the tenderest affection to me. I could not think about you so much without doating on you, faults and all; and by dint of fancying so many errors, have been in love with you ever since you were thirteen at least.”

Why did you have to say that!

Friends, it's been a month or so since we established our No Snobbery rule, and while we are mostly pleased (we hope you are, too!), we get the sense that some of our membership are pining for an outlet to rant or rave away on their most loved and hated adaptations.

We would by no means wish to suspend any pleasure of yours, so we would like to present some options we are considering and also invite you to make any suggestions you might have in the comments.

Sincerely,

The Mods

Edit: for the megathread and flair options, the idea would be that the posts would be intended for likeminded folks to revel in their extreme opinions without turning it into a food fight (as u/filbertres so neatly phrased it).

View Poll

Can someone please tell why, when Lydia and Wickham move north to his new regiment in Newcastle, it is described as going “down”?
Nowadays, surely, such a move would be spoken of as going “up” ?
Or is this more a social rather than a strictly geographical thing?

Notes on Emma (part 1)

Hey everyone! I’m glad you all liked hearing my thoughts on the first half-ish of Emma! The next one will be Sense and Sensibility although it will be a while as I’m still reading through it.

In the meantime here’s the rest of my Emma notes!

[pic wouldn’t load, imagine an entire page of miss Bates yapping her head off]
•bf: ^^^ YOURE TELLING ME THIS ENTIRE PAGE IS JUST A LEGENDARY YAP SESH FROM MISS BATES WHAT ON EARTH! Great example of show not tell (by telling?) from Austen lol
•bf: ITS EVEN WORSE A FEW PAGES LATER, SHES YAPPING FOR A FULL PAGE AND A HALF WITHOUT JNTERUPPTION AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
•bf: Mrs Elton is kinda snooty
•gf: oh my god Mrs Elton is a straight up bitch tho bc she’s like the worst parts of Emma PLUS absolutely no class (bragging about her rich friends when she isn’t rich herself)
•bf: Hahahahaha Emma’s rant about Mrs Elton is so funny
•bf: Good, good that Mr knightley doesn’t want to marry Jane Fairfax
•gf: Miss Bates is the REALEST character in this whole book lololol. There’s family ([name of certain family member]) that can do a half page of talking easily ahhahah
•gf: Fun fact: I looked up Emma’s fortune. She inherits 30k pounds. that’s….thats as rich as Darcy if not close to double his wealth. And that’s just STORED money, she’s easily getting passive income just from being rich at a bingley or bennet salary (1.2k to 1.5k pounds) from the estate alone, shared between her and her father. Also because the estate is not entailed as it is with the bennets, she could inherit a really nice house too!
aka she could be the biggest trust fund/nepo baby in her entire region LMAO
•gf: also I think this book, Emma, as opposed to P&P, was started and finished when she was an author so she may have intended her book to take place in 1810ish as opposed to maybe 1797ish (P&P) so taking account for inflation, 30k may sound like a lot but it still may be around Darcy levels-ish
•gf: also also also Knightley is just as rich as the Woodhouses but I was just reading that because he’s always out and about, he’s just investing his money differently (and smarter! He’s investing it in dividing up and selling his land to be farmed, making improvements to the estate, etc instead of just wasting it away like others do)
•bf: I’m seeing what you mean about Mrs Elton, she’s starting to bother me with how much she brings up her brother in law
•bf: And stupid maple grove. It’s wild how she can fit it into any topic. Hey [gf’s name] you live at a house right? Did you know we have a house at maple grove? it’s the most wonderful house. As a matter of fact my brother Mr suckling *also* has a house. I do so love Mr suckling, he simply *must* come by in his barouche-landau. Ugh
•bf: “Mr Elton you should dance” “yes Mrs Weston, I’m not an old married man yet and so I would like to dance, shall we?” “Oh nah not me, you should dance with Harriet bc she has no dance partner!” “Oh nope can’t sorry I’m an old married man” LMAOOOOOOOOO
•gf: It’s honestly so funny
•bf: Oh nah, one heroic rescue and now Emma is back to matchmaking. Frank and Harriet are an interesting pairing tho, I don’t know if it would work out
•bf: ^also about this, I could be wrong but my general assumption is that Frank’s social standing is around Mr Elton’s, maybe a bit higher or lower. If everyone was objecting to Harriet and Mr Elton idk why Frank would be any different
•gf: True. I think Frank is at least two steps higher than Mr Elton. Not a Mr Knightley tho
•bf: Oh? Frank remembers something that he says Mrs Weston wrote to him about despite her not knowing anything about it? He heard it in a letter from Jane methinks
•bf: If this were modern times and I were there I would suspect those two are hooking up but seeing as they’re in the early 1800’s I don’t think that’s it
•bf: THEYRE PLAYING WITH WORDS AND FRANK HANDED JANE THE WORD BLUNDER?!?!?? THEY *HAVE* TO BE HOOKING UP
•gf: ABSOLUTELY DARN RIGHT (I’m glad u picked it up so fast)…not anything too spicy bc it’s regency England but yeah, hooking up is a good relative turn
•bf: WAIT AND FRANK WAS THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED PLAYING WITH THE WORDS
•gf: Frank is such a bad good character (or good bad character) bc he is being way too obvious about it and not respecting Jane’s wishes. And he’s very much a profligate guy anyway
•bf: Now at knightley’s place, very suspicious that Frank shows up shortly after Jane leaves…
•bf: SWISSERLAND
•gf: Toblerones from *swisserland*
•bf: “Emma and Harriet belonged to Frank Churchill” same stuff different day lol, I wonder if Emma will try her hand at matchmaking once again
•bf: The vibes are very off and weird at box hill
•gf: oh absolutely, it’s very similar to the ball at nether field from P&P- SUPREME cringe-inducement-embarrassment for the main character
•bf: I am speculating that whatever history Frank and Jane have, it has to be related to the whole Dixon saving her thing on that one boat trip. I’m thinking there’s more to that that Jane Austen is withholding from the readers for now
•gf: yes but not exactly from the boat trip. I forgot exactly what the history was tho
•bf: I’m glad Emma got humbled and had time by herself to reflect on what she said to miss bates, I better see a DAMN good apology the next time they interact
[editors note: you can’t tell from this alone but I was PISSED at Emma, so much so that I put the book down for a few days because I was so upset]
•bf: I’m not seeing an apology… just a visit…
•gf: but the visit is the apology and Miss Bates is so unbelievably nice as to understand the gesture
•bf: FRANK AND JANE ARE ENGAGED WTFFFF THATS CRAZY
•gf: what a surprize!
•bf: …wait what? Emma likes Mr knightley? That feels out of nowhere
•gf: Maybe, but it’s using the friends-to-lovers trope. Emma’s not dissimilar to [describes me, we were very much friends-to-lovers] 😉
•bf: Yeah wait what so the older sister married the younger brother but now the younger sister wants to marry the older brother???
•gf: I suppose so, not that many options around Highbury
•bf: he likes her back??? Sounds like he was about to confess when Emma said “no please don’t say something you’ll regret”
•bf: HE DOES LIKE HER BACK
•bf: I’m curious to see how Harriet takes this, it seems like she’s the one getting screwed the most by everything
•bf: FRANK CONFESSION TIME LETS GO LETS SEE WHAT SECRETS BRO’S BEEN KEEPING
•bf: HE SENT THE PIANOFORTE??? DAMN
•bf: Yet another banger letter-that’s-actually-the-whole-chapter. I wonder if that’s a thing in every Jane Austen book
•bf: Hmm yeah where are they gonna live? I guess knightley would have to move to hartfield huh
•bf: Aww now she’s asking him what he should be called, I wonder if he’ll say darling dearest. Mr knightley the type of guy to want to be called darling dearest [inside bit about what i call her when I'm afraid she's gonna mess with me lol]
•gf: yeah :) for all of its 16 year age gap weirdness, I like this romance quite well because it’s a mature, communicative romance!
•bf: Oh cool Harriet ends up marrying Mr Martin after all. Good for her!
•gf: he really saved her ass because if he hadn’t come thru she’d be cooked financially/socially
•bf: Finished Emma! Good book, I definitely liked it better than P&P although I still have a few questions. So what exactly was franks deal? Was it ever explained what happened between him and Jane that caused them to get engaged but keep it under wraps? And why was he so mean to her in public? I get why he was kinda pursuing Emma so as to keep up appearances but I don’t see a reason to bully Jane. Also it’s still weird that he had to suddenly leave town for a day for that haircut, I thought there was some sneaky nefarious thing he was doing, was it literally just to go get a haircut?

I decided to give it a try after I found out that Cosmo Jarvis was going to be playing Captain Wentworth.

This is the first movie I have seen Dakota Johnson in and good God... she cannot act. At all. The girl only has a single facial expression and it's actually more painful to watch when she's seriosly trying, like when she was reading Wentworth's letter. Barf.

Watching her "act" next to Cosmo Jarvis was like they were on two different planets entirely. The way Johnson had this iresome half-smirk on her face the entire time he was delivering his lines was so irksome. As was the whole breaking the 4th wall thing. I think these modern actresses are too self-absorbed to play Austen's female characters, as they are written, instead of their own self-insert girl boss OC's.

Every other actor's talent was completely wasted with Johnson as their scene partner. What I did like was how Sir Elliot was portrayed as this massive pompous narcissist. I also liked Louisa' and Elizabeth's performances. They were just brilliant.

So it was really thanks to all these other actor's and actresses' performances that I was able to get through the whole movie. Definitely NOT watching anything starring Dakota Johnson again though.

Part 2 chapter 1: The servants play Clue, Anne has a pillow to preserve her reputation and virginity, Louisa joins the opera, and Lady Russell gains a first name so Sophia can yell at her properly. This is the Persuasion Read Through of DOOM.

In which your pleasant and confused Miss Ashford is provoked and amused at the same time on her first read-through of Persuasion.

We are reading Persuasion, one chapter a week. I have never read this novel, so naturally I’m leading the read. What follows are my reactions on the read. Please feel free to correct, argue, or discuss why I am not 100% correct. My opinions are my own, which is obvious when you read this stuff. Also, I make pronounced, sharp opinions that are also very wrong. Annnnd sometimes they’re very right. Really, I use a dart board and blindfold method. It’s very effective.

Please bookmark these for later chapters. Then you can dredge it up like the know-it-all-kid and proclaim “You were wrong.” 

And I’ll chew my gum and stare at you. “Yeah. So what? Everyone is wrong sometimes.”

Then, I’ll stride confidently to the bathrooms in my tick-tack high heels, the kind that are especially loud when you walk around in concrete parking lots and on hardwood floors above floors where people are trying to work, close the door, and collapse in tears. “Why, why, why!?”

And no answers will come.

Part 2 Chapter 1. A quick orientation: Anne has brooded

>“Oh, hi there! I’m Tammy, the sensitivity reader. Let’s help you.”
Go away Tammy, I don’t need you.
“I think you do.”
Were you installed on here without consent, like a virus?
“We always have consent. Non-consensual behavior is very bad.”
Great, I don’t consent to your presence.
“Well, you must. We are also very inclusive. Regardless, I shall help you.”

Anne has been conducting a long-term study on regret.

Wentworth is running his victory laps to demonstrate that he’s completely over her. Then he’s semi-dating Louisa, she bonks her head, and now the story is orbiting Louisa’s status.

What does this mean for us? A nice slow turn of events. Let’s analyze what’s going on plotwise:

The 50% point of the book is traditionally where the author sticks in a huge change. It can be the death of reputation, actual death, near death, death of professional life, or it can signify a huge sea change. What did we see here? Louisa’s style of brute force romance, the way she engages, NO COMPROMISE NO RETREAT, it’s sort of like this weird Galaxyquest energy, I keep thinking she’s going to yell “by Grapthor’s Hammer” and smite someone in an AC duct. Our lovely Miss Elliot is blooming and people are noticing her, and Wentworth pauses his victory lap to take a look. Because he notices too.

Anne relocates to Uppercrawl Mansion where she runs the household and makes arrangements.

>The remainder of Anne's time at Uppercross, comprehending only two days, was spent entirely at the Mansion House; ^(1)

Of course she’s awesome at everything. We are also in her head at this point, so the self-admiration is a welcome change from the miserable unpleasant looking

>“Hi, I’m back. We don’t say unpleasant-looking. Not about women. Unless they say it themselves. Also it has a hyphen.”
What should I call her then? That was through Sir Walter’s lens initially. But she sort of embraces it. And I don’t care about your hyphen.
“Sir Walter is a man. You mustn’t let them draw the frame. Use something kinder.”
Seriously.

Welcome change from the miserable gaslit persona that she occupied for the first billion chapters, are you happy now Tammy?

Anyway, there’s a flurry of messages going back and forth from Lyme, most forth, about Louisa’s condition. It’s like the end of Puccini’s La Bohème where people keep popping in and saying in hushed tones, “Comè va?” and then they’re whisper-singing in Italian, “she took a dozen asprin and her blood pressure is really good. She sat up and ate some broth,” only it sounds more like:

>Ella prese una dozzina d’aspirine,
e la sua pressione sanguigna è magnificamente buona!
Si levò a sedere,
e consumò del brodo con nobile vigore!
e consumò del brodo con nobile vigore!
Si levò a sedere,
e consumò del brodo con nobile vigore! ^(2)

Then the chorus begins to sing a drinking song.

Led by the invalid.

I like it when opera is so specific. Whatever.

I did take issue with this quote:

>"She really left nothing for Mary to do. He and Mary had been persuaded to go early to their inn last night. Mary had been hysterical again this morning. When he came away, she was going to walk out with Captain Benwick, which, he hoped, would do her good. He almost wished she had been prevailed on to come home the day before; but the truth was, that Mrs Harville left nothing for anybody to do."

Was that… Charles? If it was, he’s speaking about himself in the third person. That’s a normal thing to do, if Sophia is doing it, because she is awesome and all that. But it’s weird for Austen’s character to do it: perhaps it’d be better if it were, “Mary and I had been persuaded to go early to our inn last night. Mary… morning. When I came away, she was going …which, I hope, would do her good. I almost wished…” FIFY

I’m going to chalk that one up to JA not editing the last book because she was dead, and all. Or that’s the way, uh huh uh huh, they did it^(3).

Then Charles wants to return to Lyme, dad wants to go, Anne does some persuading of her own and gets the nursemaid who they kept on even though she didn’t really have a job except to say “remember when?” like the Nursie on Black Adder: Queen Elizabeth. Yeah, Sarah, the nursemaid, is dispatched because she’ll be useful and finally start earning her keep. Anne was behind that move, y’all.

Sarah was probably glaring at Anne and making shooshing noises. Anne: “I know! We can send Sarah.”

Sarah: “No Anne. Shhhhh. Anne, shhhhh. Sarah is retired now.” (Also speaks of herself in the third person.)

That’s why Anne’s tea was subtly poisoned in this universe.

You gotta be careful.

Moving on, Anne has to leave them, and they’re all wailing “but why, Anne, WHY? WHY must you leave? We are undone! (wail)” and that’s just the men. Anne does the correct thing to get them out of her hair and says “why don’t you all go to Lyme?”

Well done, madame. You have removed all the irritants from the Mansion house and sent them to irritate Louisa. Who says Anne isn’t vindictive? Sure she looks cute but is it really worth it? Make her mad and suddenly all the most irritating people, who might have stayed away, are suddenly looking solicitous and trying to “help.” Yes, Anne’s master plan was quite amusing.

But then Anne’s running victory laps and patting herself on the back.

>She was the last, excepting the little boys at the cottage, she was the very last, the only remaining one of all that had filled and animated both houses, of all that had given Uppercross its cheerful character. A few days had made a change indeed!

Gentry are so self-centered. I mean, c’mon Anne, doesn’t the footman, the maids, the head of household, the chicken pluckers from the scalding house, and the coalier count? Didn’t they sit down on a rainy evenings and play Clue with the household when there were no others to fill out the seven players?

Anyway, yeah, things are looking up and Anne is doing great and—what’s that?

>A few months hence, and the room now so deserted, occupied but by her silent, pensive self, might be filled again with all that was happy and gay, all that was glowing and bright in prosperous love, all that was most unlike Anne Elliot!

For void’s sake Anne. WTH? I thought we had you in family anonymous. Then you relapsed to this. Take a deep breath, we have some chapters to settle this. As long as that beastly aristocrat Lady Russell doesn’t mess with things or Sir Walter and Elizabeth aren’t dragged back in, we’re all fine.

She gazes out a rain-pattered window and Thinks Thoughts Thoughtfully. I’ll forgive it, it’s not pervasive.

Anyway, we’re to lodge in the Lodge. Which is not the Croft residence. THIS SOLVES THE ROOMMATE PROBLEM. No awkward

>“But Captain Wentworth, there’s only one bed.” 
“We shall place a pillow in the center between us so you may preserve your virginity and reputation.”
“Won’t the servants talk?”
“No, they’re playing Clue.”

I imagine Anne standing outside the house singing,

You may ask yourself
"What is that beautiful house?"
You may ask yourself
"Where does that highway go to?"
And you may ask yourself
"Am I right? Am I wrong?"
And you may say to yourself
"My God! What have I done?!"^(4)

Then the author jumps in and reminds us that we’re going back into the yucky first couple of chapters, but Anne is better now! She’d forgotten entirely about the whole Bath-Sir Wally-Lizzie situation with the drama of Wentworth-squeee-don’t look at me-he looked at me-Miss Musgroves-Anne’s rival out of the way business.

No, really, we are all genuinely concerned about Louisa. Really. And secretly pleased that Anne made it all look so easy, everyone else was screaming like little girls and Anne was spitting orders: “You, get an AED. You, call one one nine. Charles, I need you to hold the head for spinal immobility AND QUIT WHIMPERING. Just hold the head, on both sides, and Mary, go get the med bag with the neck brace. Do you want her to lose all ability to move her limbs? Go!!”

>“Ms. Ashford.”
No Tammy. It's Miss.
“No, Ms.”
Whatever. I don’t consent.
“You musn’t use ‘Little girls’ as the framing, it is violence against gender—”
There *is* an off button! Goodbye forever, Tammy.

everyone else was screaming like an unoiled wagon axle and Anne was spitting orders. Fixed it.

Also, a little bonus, Charles Hayter gets involved with messaging again, and he’s a real hero. He turned out not so bad. Maybe Henrietta is getting a better match than she assumed. Guess we’ll never know how THAT ends because Jane is leading us by the hand, no, really, we need to go to Bath now, first by Kennilworth or Knecchyland. Whatever that place is. Kennilworth was where they shot cats and dogs by catapults for Queen Elizabeth^(5), I think, and I made up the second because the name of this place is absurd and I reject it.

So Anne starts hanging out with Lady Russell, and she’s like

>The first three or four days passed most quietly, with no circumstance to mark them excepting the receipt of a note or two from Lyme, which found their way to Anne, she could not tell how, and brought a rather improving account of Louisa. At the end of that period, Lady Russell's politeness could repose no longer, and the fainter self-threatenings of the past became in a decided tone, "I must call on Mrs Croft; I really must call upon her soon. Anne, have you courage to go with me, and pay a visit in that house? It will be some trial to us both."

First, those notes, it’s either the pony express or Wentworth.

Dude. A trial to you both? How so, Lady Russell? What is the trial? You have to go visit Sophia Croft (awesome name) who is a credit to all women everywhere with her saintly disposition that makes you look like a scheming ogre? Is that the trial, Lady Russell? (I feel like I need her first name to really get into the meat of this. I’m just not feeling the Lady Russell this Lady Russell that. How about you guys? I’m going to google it.)

Well, how about that. Miss Austen never named the meddler. That means… I GET TO.

How about…

Augusta? Nah. Sarah? Nope… MARGARET! That’s it. I christen her Margaret. Margaret Russell, queen of nothing.

Right then.

So MARGE, what’s the trial? Cause I’m not seeing it. Maybe you’re trying to make Anne feel better for the wound you caused?

Marge. Rhymes with BARGE. She was probably some love match where she was a laundress in her young days, and some codger was like “oh, I shall marry for love.” The crusty ones who stand on ceremony are always the ones who are like the embodiment of Matthew 18:21-35. Yeah, that’s right, I said it.

Anyway, so they visit the Crofts and nothing really happens. The Crofts are sweet, inviting, lovely, and Anne starts to softly sing,

“Our house… in the middle of the street.”^(6)

This following line right here, this is something I henceforth will strive to do. I want to be like Mrs. Croft.

>Mrs Croft always met her with a kindness which gave her the pleasure of fancying herself a favourite, and on the present occasion, receiving her in that house, there was particular attention.

WAIT A MINUTE. It turns out the notes were from Wentworth. Since there’s no pony express in England, then my prediction was right forever and I win I win.

Then Margy, Sophia, and Anne all connive and:

>and it was perfectly decided that it had been the consequence of much thoughtlessness and much imprudence; that its effects were most alarming, and that it was frightful to think, how long Miss Musgrove's recovery might yet be doubtful, and how liable she would still remain to suffer from the concussion hereafter!

>The Admiral wound it up summarily by exclaiming— "Ay, a very bad business indeed. A new sort of way this, for a young fellow to be making love, by breaking his mistress's head, is not it, Miss Elliot? This is breaking a head and giving a plaster, truly!"

Sir. Ahem, Mr. Croft. I was just saying nice things about you, and you messed it up. Anne can hear you. She’s sitting over there. And you said a dopey thing, “for a young fellow to be making love.” Not your best foot. I know you were probably trying to be funny, but no. It’s not landing. The room is glaring at you right now.

Or not. Whups. I misread it.

>Admiral Croft's manners were not quite of the tone to suit Lady Russell, but they delighted Anne. His goodness of heart and simplicity of character were irresistible.

You think you know someone, then they go and think things like that. Thanks a lot, Anne.

Then he points out they renovated the umbrella location, said Anne can come in through the shrubbery any time and wander about the house, and that he changed hardly a thing except removing the mirrors that clogged every surface of Sir Walter’s room.

Then he says,

>Mirrors on the ceiling
The shaving glass concise
And he said, “We are all just lodgers here
But the chimney draws quite nice.” ^(7)

No, I don’t know what any of means either. The Eagles don’t know what it means. They were probably high when they composed it, which is why they can’t answer the question. I mean, have you seen Don Henley?

Old Crofty says,

>“… and now I am quite snug, with my little shaving glass in one corner, and another great thing that I never go near."

SIR. DO NOT GO NEAR THE MIRROR. Admiral Croft, in this unpublished excerpt, went in front of it once:

>Admiral Croft, for all his cleverness, did walk in front of the large ornate mirror. In it, he saw his form, but curiously, not exactly his image. Instead, the man in the mirror had Sophia Croft next to him, smiling at his joke; in his other hand, a piece of salted beef. Above the mirror read “the Mirror of ERISED.”^(8)

In all the previous uses, Sir Walter had seen himself in an ornate wedding gown marrying himself.

Yes, yes, I know, the white wedding gown lace thing was Victorian, but I’m tellin’ ya, the mirror of Erised is covered with lip marks.

>Anne, amused in spite of herself, was rather distressed for an answer, and the Admiral, fearing he might not have been civil enough, took up the subject again, to say—

>"The next time you write to your good father, Miss Elliot, pray give him my compliments and Mrs Croft's, and say that we are settled here quite to our liking, and have no fault at all to find with the place. The breakfast-room chimney smokes a little, I grant you, but it is only when the wind is due north and blows hard, which may not happen three times a winter. And take it altogether, now that we have been into most of the houses hereabouts and can judge, there is not one that we like better than this. Pray say so, with my compliments. He will be glad to hear it."

Anne is not in the habit of just sending off letters. She's smart enough to not do that. She didn't send one for Mary, and she ain't sending one for you.

>Lady Russell and Mrs Croft were very well pleased with each other: but the acquaintance which this visit began was fated not to proceed far at present;

Because page turn, take a breath,

>for when it was returned, the Crofts announced themselves to be going away for a few weeks, to visit their connexions in the north of the county, and probably might not be at home again before Lady Russell would be removing to Bath.

Probably might not be present so the plot can move off to freakin’ Bath.

I remain,
Vty
Sophia

1 All quotes are from Persuasion, by Jane Austen, Antique Editions, Kindle Version.

^(2) Ella prese una dozzina d’aspirine words and music (c) Copyright 2026 by Sophia C. Ashford, all rights reserved, no part of this work may be reproduced without permission

^(3) "That's the Way (I Like It)" by KC and the Sunshine Band, words and music (c) Copyright 1975 by EMI Longitude Music Co.

^(4) Once in a Lifetime music and lyrics are (c) Copyright 1980 Warner Music Group, Universal Music Publishing Group, and EG Music Ltd.

^(5) The Elizabethans absolutely loved animal cruelty incorporated into entertainments. Robert Dudley, she was never going to marry you. Nobody has forgotten the first wife you murdered, Amy Robsart. I shall light a candle for her.

^(6) "Our House" by Madness (1982) is protected by copyright, (c) 1982 Chas Smash and Chris Foreman

^(7) Hotel California, song and lyrics (c) no year because nobody voiding knows. Maybe Don Henley, Glenn Frey, and Don Felder, managed through Red Cloud Music and Cass County Music. I tried to find a year. I really did. Lyrics presented here purely for parody purposes. Don’t sue me, Don.

^(8) Sophia's Guide to Persuasion, 18th Edition, (c) 2026 by Sophia C. Ashford.

Link to Persuasion Read-through master hub: https://www.reddit.com/r/janeausten/comments/1rdapff/rjaneausten_community_readthrough_hub/

Link to prior Chapter 12:
https://www.reddit.com/r/janeausten/comments/1tbtqur/persuasion_chapter_12_readthrough/

I just finished Mansfield Park again today, and my thoughts are on Tom’s illness and the vital role I believe Edmund played in saving his life. Had Edmund not gone to be with his brother and then bring him home to Mansfield, do you think Tom
would have survived? Edmund nursed him back to health and comforted him through weeks of a life-or-death illness, all while dealing with family trauma on several other fronts and his own heartbreak. Why is this not discussed more? It’s pretty heroic and commendable to me.