u/-Midscore-

Hi all, long time lurker first time poster on this forum.

I knitted my brother's girlfriend a blanket for her birthday after she admired one I had made for myself. I'm not a great knitter and it took me quite a long time to make, and I bought the wool myself in colours I thought she would like. The wool was real wool and quite expensive, more than €100.

When I gave it to her she said thank you and seemed happy with it.

Anyway, over the weekend I was in a charity shop and saw the blanket there. I texted her and asked her about it and she admitted she had donated it. She said she wasn't really using it, that she "found it a bit itchy" and donated it because she thought someone else might like it more.

I know technically it's her gift and she can do whatever she wants with it, but it took a lot of time to make and the wool was really quite expensive, and I am still really upset about it. It was part merino wool as well so I don't know why she's saying it was itchy! I also feel a bit stupid because I spent hours making this yoke for her and I thought she genuinely liked it, but it turns out she didn't even want it.

Maybe I am stupid because I kind of thought they'd someday use it in their future kids' room or something and tell them how Auntie RaRa made that blanket when we were still going out.

My brother says I'm overreacting and says he doesn't understand why I'm taking it personally. He says she liked that I made it for her but she just didn't use the blanket enough to keep it. I don't think he understands the effort that went into it though. It's not like I bought some rubbish on Temu for her.

Also, if someone spends that much time and money making something especially for you, surely it means something that you couldn't be bothered to keep it?

Obviously this is awkward because she's my brother's girlfriend and I don't want to cause problems for him or our parents, but I feel like if she was a caring person she would have cared more about something made for her.

Anyway, AITA here, or is she for disrespecting my time and money?

So im going through a divorce and i obviously don’t want to wear my engagement ring anymore, it custom made for me and its truly so beautiful, my ex and i decided we’d save it for my daughter one day, so i have it in my jewelry box. Anyway. My sister was over to picks some things up and she brought her kids, and her daughter (14f) decided to do a little snooping.

I’m a big jewelry fan and it’s kinda the one thing i treat myself on and i love one of a kind pieces. I do not like people touching my stuff in general but especially something unique and expensive. My niece has always like my jewelry and done that thing kids do where they are like “i wish i had something like that” and give you those eyes hoping you’ll gift it to them. She when it came time to leave and she was hiding her hands in her pockets looking super guilty i knew something was up.

She was wearing my engagement ring, and it was stuck and her finger was swollen, we had to go and get it cut off. It’s not gonna be a hard fix but i do have to pay to get the band fixed and my sister doesn’t see why she should be the one to pay. She even suggested that if she pays for it her daughter she get to keep it. Huh??? Whaaaaattt?

Oh and she thinks it’s fine because “it’s not like you wear it anymore” girl goodbye.

Also the little thief had a few other pieces in her pockets of course but this one ring just got stuck and she got caught. But i should reward her with my former, sapphire engagement ring apparently.

And now i remember why i cut my sister off when i got married.

I (29F) have been at my company four years. We have a referral scheme, and I have used it twice, both times for people who worked out, which is part of why I get taken seriously when I recommend someone.

My sister (26F) asked me in July to refer her for a coordinator opening on a different floor. I said no. I did not say it nastily, I said I would sit with her on her CV, do a practice interview, tell her exactly what the panel asks, all of it, but I was not putting my name on her.

The reason is that I did this once already. Four years ago I got her a job at the clinic where I was working. She was late constantly, then stopped showing up in week six without telling anyone, and I was the one covering her desk and apologising to my manager for a month. She has never really acknowledged that happened.

She said I was being dramatic about something from four years ago. Our mum said family helps family and that I have "gone corporate". I stuck with no.

She applied anyway. On the form there is a field asking whether an employee referred you, and she put my full name and my employee number in it, which she has because she has seen my payslip.

HR emailed me on Monday, friendly, just confirming the referral so they could log it. I sat on it for about an hour and then I replied and said no, I had not referred her, and that she had applied on her own.

I did not tell them the clinic story. I just answered the question.

She found out on Thursday when they told her the referral could not be verified, and she called me screaming that I had blacklisted her and that she was the only candidate they would now assume is a liar. My mum says I could have just said yes, that it costs me nothing, and that I have now made sure my own sister does not get a job she needs, and she does need it, she has a four year old and her hours got cut in March.

I keep landing in the same place. I could have said yes and it would have been over in one email. But it would have been a lie in writing to my own employer, with my employee number attached to it, for someone who has already done this to me once.

She has not spoken to me since Thursday and my mum has stopped answering my calls. AITA?

My wife was (is?) mad at me over this so I’m posting to see if I’m in the wrong.

My wife and I make go out once weekly just me and her. We do have two kids (7,4) so that makes it hard sometimes, but we have a babysitter we can call on a consistent basis. Last Friday, we decided to stay in on a whim because we didn’t feel like going out. When we came to this decision, I told the babysitter she didn’t have to come, because well, we didn’t need babysitting.

Come the time we would usually be out, my wife thought that the babysitter would still come and was kind of mad at me when I told her she wasn’t coming. Our plan for our at home date night sss just to watch a movie, so I dont know why she sss so persistent on getting our kids out of house. I didn’t mind them being around. My wife asked me multiple times to see if our babysitter could still come, and she was really not feeling the date night afterwards when I said it’s probably too late.

I don’t know if she had other plans to maybe go out or something, but “alone time” is a very vague reason to give. My wife was prettt pissed at Me after this. AITA? No good morning the next morning no nothing.

Today my almost six year old let our puppy (9m) out again, and two days ago he knocked my elderly mom down and she broke her leg. My dog is a menace but I love him dearly. I chased him around the house, and my neighbors came around screaming about how they’re calling the cops.

I told them they should mind their business and go back inside, my dog was inside in 5 minutes. He likes to be chased.

The problem is they have a 7 year old son and the neighbor on the other side of my house also has a 8 year old son. They often all play together with my son., especially using all his toys and equip outside. Well today, the little boys told my son that they were having a two person play date and their mom told them they can only play with one other person.

My son came in crying of course, I knew there was a chance since I didn’t apologize earlier. I knew I should’ve said sorry to just keep the peace. I’ve been warned about their behavior by my other neighbor, I’m new in town. Anyways, they were playing in his HUGE jungle gym so I went out and told them if they can’t be nice to my son they can’t be on our property and to go somewhere else.

So AITH and how can I resolve this now without adding to the fire and hurting my son further? He’s had such a great time with these little boys since moving here.

Edit: my puppy is very friendly but needs to be trained better to not go outside or listen without running.

Second edit: I lost my dog last year to cancer.
I’m now currently 8 months pregnant and my mom bought the dog as a SURPRISE for my son’s Christmas, didn’t discuss the dog just dropped it off with a bow. I love the dog, it just isn’t the best timing with me being pregnant and just moving.

I found out my wife was cheating on me four months ago. Prior to this I knew she was pregnant again and thought the baby was mine. She agreed to the DNA test and it showed the baby wasn't mine but is the other guys. He is refusing to have anything to do with the baby and has moved without leaving any details for where he's gone. We have a son who isn't even two and we're sharing custody temporarily until the divorce. I filed so the divorce IS happening. I will not stay with a cheater.

But I'm having a very hard time with the co-parenting relationship. She wants me to raise her unborn child with our son so they can grow up as full siblings and have equal in life. She said her baby deserves a dad as much as our son does and my response to her every time has been she should have thought about that before she cheated. Every time she is quick to remind me that her unborn child didn't ask for this and is innocent of her actions. But I can't separate it to be in that child's life.

We have to see each other for exchanges and she asks me every time we do them. She also texts but I never reply, she DMs but I don't reply and I don't answer her calls unless they're about our son and I have told her she needs to text to say we need to talk about him first.

I have an attorney and for anyone wondering I do not want or need legal advice. But this woman is my son's mother and right now my hatred for her is growing because she's trying to saddle me with her affair kid and she won't quit. I know this is still early days so I don't know if things will settle down or not. But I know our son needs us to be civil at least and that is something I am struggling with so hard. When the baby gets here she could get worse and I don't know how I'll handle it.

All the relationship advice is welcome! But please don't ask me to consider raising the other child because that will never happen.

Edited to add: 3 other employees (all female) are also acting the same as my husband is. They’re making this a gender related issue as she’s a female in a male dominated field. I wish I could be open with everyone as to why she was fired but I can’t.

My husband and I (32F) have 3 kids together, our youngest being 3 months, and we have worked for the same company for almost 5 years now. It’s a boat company that operates in tourism. He works out on the boat and I am the operations manager for the company (so technically his boss, however anything disciplinary on his part would be handled by our head captain as to not cross any lines).

We recently have had to fire one of our captains for safety reasons, 38F, my husband worked most of his shifts with her and had nothing but good things to say about her, other people did not hence her firing. She was known to pick favorite crew and bully, she struggled operating certain tours safely.

Her and my husband have my husband have been friends since he first got hired, I’ve had my reservations about her but ultimately she was kind to me, brought me very expensive gifts post partum, called in to check on me specifically. I mostly just didn’t like how my husband defended her blindly.

We fired her this past Wednesday, however she caught wind of her firing this past Monday because my head captain reached out to set up a meeting with her. She instantly panicked and started texting her friends, including my husband, to which I was confronted with anger and him saying to me “(Captain) is getting fired?!” He then left the house and had a 1.5hr phone call with her and came back sobbing. That made me really question the level of their friendship and I accused him of being in love with her.

Fast forward to Wednesday, we fired her and posted on our company slack that she was no longer with the company. We kept the message postive and vague to which my husband responded so everyone including our owners could see and said “I think we all deserve a reason and if we are not worthy of that then I will not be showing up for my shift tonight” and did not show up.

A lot has transpired since then but I’m incredibly angry that he’s willing to risk his job over this woman. Thankfully the owners are kind and understand the emotional response people are having. But as his wife, I am mortified and can’t believe he’s willing to risk our income for this girl. I feel like something deeper is going on. What do you think?

Shipping/receiving Manager. Called to the carpet for excessive internet use: 15 pages of urls. Had no idea each upvote or downvote on Reddit would log a new url. Wish I had demanded copies, in hindsight I could rack up several pages in a few minutes. Also, one of the threads that I was browsing was "Adult Jokes," which even though nobody could see or even access the content, was deemed "inappropriate content."

They cut off my overtime. The last time the overtime policy applied to me (two or three years ago) it was ten minutes before/ten minutes after. Second writeup (last chance agreement) was because the policy was changed to five minuted before/after, and I wasn't following the new policy. I had no clue the policy had changed. Also, I was overheard telling a true story about three names on a mailbox by a person who was DEFINITELY not offended, to a person who was also not offended. Can't go into detail, but it was about three last names on a mailbox that made a funny but off-color phrase.

I ramped down my Reddit usage to literally two or three minutes a day, but it was still deemed excessive and a violation of the terms of the first write-up.

My co-worker/trainee was obstinate and disrespectful, and she would get angry if I interfered or offered advice on particular shipments. Apparently she said I was making her do all the hard stuff while sitting on the computer, but for the last several weeks I had given her essentially free reign to choose which tasks she wanted to do. But because HR guy walked through the department once or twice a day and saw me at the computer (generating shipping labels and routing truck freight) while she was packaging parts, I was still making her do all the "hard stuff."

Fast forward a few weeks, and I made a judgement call (similar to those I've been making for three years) that an urgent shipment could wait a day longer in order to save the company several hundred dollars in shipping costs. My co-worker took it upon herself at the end of the day to book the shipment the next day with the higher cost carrier, so I made the call to re-schedule the shipment with the lower cost carrier. The process took about 15 minutes, which put me nine minutes past the cutoff for "pre-approved over/makeup time." I had taken a half-hour of sick time earlier in the week, so the time was not overtime.

I spoke with the foreman late in the day, and told him of the decision I had made regarding the urgent shipment. I asked the question, "does this need to go today, or will tomorrow be acceptable (the next day was month-end, which I assumed was the reason behing the urgency) and the answer I got led me to believe it would be ok. I could have still gotten the shipment out with the more expensive carrier, but based on the answer I got, I assumed I could book it the next day. In my exit meeting, HR guy said I was disobeying direct orders by my supervisor.

A couple weeks ago, Inoticed that the security camera that was pointed at the two roll-up doors had been turned so that I was in the field of view while sitting at my desk. I mafe it a point to record my start and stop times for my 10-minute break. While scrolling (Reddit, of course) on my phone while sitting at my desk, I could not see over the top of my computer screens, so every time it sounded like somebody was coming in, I raised my head to see if/who it was. Somebody came out and asked me a question, and according to HR guy, they saw "a woman wearing lingeree" on my phone. That's absolute bullshit, but I can't prove it. Now I realize neither can he.

There's an orange traffic cone that I used to notify a particular carrier that we had a package for them, because pickups after 11 or so wouldn't show up until the next day. It worked great, but I forgot to bring the cone in one day. When confronted about it by my co-worker/trainee, I was dismissive of the concern for losing a traffic cone to tweakers walking through the parking lot at night, but did say I would make the effort to bring the cone in at night (once or twice a week, at most). In my exit meeting, I was accused of "not having respect for company property. For a traffic cone that was ordered by mistake (one of eight, btw) that had served no purpose until I found a use for it.

Location: PNW, USA

We are on a family beach vacation with my (40f) family. The ocean has been extremely rough so much so that when we tried to let the kids (6,5,2) play in the surf at ankle depth they were getting tossed around and we had to go back to the house because it was too much (red flag posted at the beach access which in NC means “A single red flag on North Carolina beaches means a high hazard with dangerous surf conditions and strong, frequent rip currents. Officials strongly advise everyone to stay out of the water because swimming is extremely dangerous.”) We go back out the next day and the red flag is still there. Visibly it’s slightly calmer but not by much. My husband who is a self-admitted “strong swimmer” wanted to take our 6 year old son out in the water past the breakers maybe 10’ out. I said absolutely not and my mom who was also there panicked and said “husbands name absolutely no one is out swimming right now. Do not go out there.”

My husband stormed off the beach. Then came back out and made a big show of swimming in the water. Later that evening he said I disrespected him big time by not letting him teach his son to swim in the water. I said that going out in those conditions was a hard non-negotiable for me for our child’s safety and that no matter how good of a swimmer he was something could happen that even the best of swimmers wouldn’t be a match for. He told me that he had gone out and tested the conditions and he felt it was safe and would never put his son in danger. I said I felt differently about the situation and that I understood he felt it was safe but I did not. Husband is furious with me and feels like I disrespected him. TLDR: AITA for not letting my husband take our 6 year old out in red flag ocean conditions?

***edited to add the child in question can swim, though is 6 so not a super strong swimmer by any means, husband wanted to teach him about swimming in the ocean specifically.

Long story long: a corporate thrift store launched branded, reusable bags around the same time they brought in self-checkouts as the predominant point of sale. I bought one on a previous visit, then brought it back to the store to reuse as intended. It got me a mild story to tell.

This is a lighter story on the malice, because I meant very little malice, but the other party would definitely see it that way.

I shopped, then checked out of the self-checkout. Note that the reusable bags were available for purchase right by the self-checkouts. I had to buy a 20c paper bag to accommodate some lightweight purchases, because I had a heavier object meant for my sturdier reusable bag and hadn’t brought any others. When I got to my car, I took a minute to Bluetooth my phone and look at my receipt. Then the front-end clerk knocked on my window.

She accused me of stealing the bag. I showed her my receipt with the 20c paper bag charge on it, thinking she meant that one, but she insisted I’d stolen the reusable one. She then asked me sternly to come inside and talk to her manager.

One thing people ought to know is that almost every corporate retail establishment (in North America, at least,) prohibits employees from chasing orapprehending thieves. And this would have been the pettiest theft in the store, aside from a CD or some small earrings. So I was about to get her in trouble.

I don’t like dunking on minimum wage workers (been there, barely survived,) but she really needed to know just how unsafe her actions could have been if she pulled that on someone else who’s a lot more hot-headed. So I went in with my receipt, purchases, and bags.

I wasn’t going to explain it to her. I wanted her to understand and hear me out properly, not just Karen people out of view of cameras and management. It’s just not safe, end of story, and I stand both feet on that matter.

I waited for the manager (with whom I’m acquainted as a regular shopper) then explained what had happened. I had to ask the employee to stop talking over me and let me finish, as the manager had asked for my story first, and I wanted to finish speaking. The manager had to ask her to stop, too.

I explained straightaway that I’d bought the reusable bag the week before, and of course brought it to reuse on this visit. The manager was like, well, duh, that’s what they’re for. I’m all, right? Great, glad to have that settled, because the employee assumed I’d stolen it and that’s what led to me coming inside to speak with her.

When I’d explained what had happened with the employee, I reminded the manager that her employee had no business following customers out to the car, and I had come in as a small favour to help her learn not to do that again for her own safety. Manager agreed, and we said some chatty goodbyes, in which I included the employee so there were fewer bad vibes.

She wasn’t there for the next few weeks, so I asked my friend (the production manager there at the time) what happened. Apparently she was canned for violating that safety protocol, because she’d been warned about following people and accusing people of theft and tag-swapping when she was supposed to be at the tills.

It’s too bad, but I hope she pivoted into being some sort of plain-clothes LP ghoul, instead. Gotta work with your motivation and skill set.

Every year my aunt asks me what I want for my birthday. Every year I tell her something specific. Every year she ignores it completely and makes me something handmade instead.

This has been happening for about six years. I have received a knitted scarf in a color I do not wear, a cross stitch with a quote I do not relate to, a homemade candle that smelled genuinely awful, and other things I cannot even fully remember. I have smiled and said thank you every single time and then quietly donated or thrown away each one.

This year she asked me what I wanted and I told her a specific book, it costs about twelve pounds, easy to find, I sent her the exact title and author. She texted back saying she had a great idea for something special instead.

On my birthday she handed me a hand painted wooden sign with my name on it and a floral border. I have no idea where I would put this in my home. I do not have that kind of decor. I never have.

Something in me just gave up. I thanked her and then quietly said that I appreciated the effort but when she asks me what I want and I tell her specifically, it would mean a lot if she went with that sometimes. I said I would genuinely have been happy with nothing rather than something I cannot use.

She cried. My mum called me later and said I was ungrateful and cruel and that my aunt spends weeks on these things.

I know she puts in effort. But effort toward something the person explicitly told you they do not want is not really a gift for them, it is a gift for yourself.

AITA?

My husband (30M) was asked to be a groomsman for one of his online friends sometime last year. I (31F) am an avid crocheter and personally like making gifts rather than just buying them so I decided to make them one of those viral bouquet blankets.

Now, I don’t really like this guy. He’s kind of an ass and from what my husband has said, he doesn’t like me either. (I have never met his fiancé) However I don’t have a lot of friends and have been a stay at home mom for the past 5 years with our two beautiful little girls (5 and 2). I don’t get a chance to really go and be an adult very often and I like weddings so believe me when I say I was pretty excited to go. (Especially since there’s a famous museum only an hours drive away that is on my bucket list.)

As I said, we were invited to this last year and unfortunately my own marriage is in a pretty rocky place right now. Major life events have happened and they’ve driven us apart, we’re trying to get back on track but the process has been really damaging to both of us. I’ve made choices I’m not proud of and my husband has behaviors he’s not okay with having.

Anyways, my husband vented to his friends about my contributions to our marital problems. (I don’t know if he’s been honest with them about his own but that’s on him.) But obviously that was the main reason for why I was then uninvited to the wedding. Which hurt really bad at first, but I understand that it’s their day and they can make that choice.

I’ve finished the blanket and now can’t seem to decide if I still want to give it to them. I feel as though I should as a gesture of “no hard feelings” but I can’t deny that I’m petty too. I don’t want to give them my hard work when it turned out so pretty and I’d rather give it to my cousin who is getting married this weekend. (My husband isn’t attending due to being on a work trip and I’m taking my children with me)

So would I be the asshole for keeping my handmade wedding gift?

Edit:

Holy hell, I was not expecting this to blow up like it has. Theres a lot of speculation on their intent and reasons. I want to clarify that I know why I was uninvited and I’ve accepted that I was uninvited. I have no one to blame except myself. I don’t want to air my personal issues as that wasn’t the intent of the post. I’ll reiterate that both my husband and I have damaging flaws that we’re actively working on.

My initial question was, “Do I still give them what I made.” Because I made it with the intention of trying to bridge the bad feelings between me and my husband’s friend and to offer a good gesture to the woman now entering their large online friend group. From the look of their invitations I guessed that she would appreciate it. However a few people have definitely offered good points of sticking to their registry and that the blanket has a high chance of just gathering dust.

My husband did not only talk to this one friend but to his whole online friend group and since they all would be in attendance, he acknowledged that the whole situation would be very awkward. But he feels obligated to still attend because he accepted the groomsman role and has stated that if our relationship was in a better spot, he would decline.

The reason I haven’t a gift for my cousin is that crocheting takes time and I’ve known about my husband’s friend’s wedding for a year and my cousin’s for about 2 months (my invitation got lost in the mail, and her fiancé is Australian so a lot of things got planned last minute to accommodate his family flying in, etc.)

I appreciate all of your input!

2nd Edit:

Y’all, this is absolutely nuts. I expected this post to get one or two replies and then just fade into obscurity. All of this has obviously been really overwhelming to handle but I’ve been trying to read through what I can.

I understood when I put forth my story to Reddit that speculation and theories would run rampant. That there would be people assuming the best and people assuming the worst. As I have stated before and will consistently, my personal business is my own. My “dirty laundry”, the common phrase being used here, is mine to handle and clean up. I did my best to stick to the facts of the matter and the actions to consequential pipeline for context.

As I stated in a comment, I understand the need to talk about things to gain perspective, or just to have someone listen. People need a support system, 100%.

I am content bowing out of this wedding. I may not like the guy, but I absolutely do not want to cause tension/issues on what I believe should be one of the happiest day of someone’s life. I had this thought before I was officially uninvited.

I love my husband, the father of my children, and he told me he loves me before he left on this work trip. He wants to work on himself and I’ve been doing my best to do the same. That’s all I need and care for right now.

Does it suck that my husband is still planning on going, absolutely. However there’s still 2 months until the event. Maybe he’ll change his mind, maybe he won’t. Maybe working on ourselves will strengthen our bond, maybe it won’t. Time will tell.

I am not planning on updating again.

Blanket stays with me. That was the answer I needed and I appreciate the well wishes for my relationship!

Thank you all for your insight!

I've been put on Ozempic because I have PMOS and have developed insulin resistance. I've been taking it for 2 weeks now and I've fallen victim to the constipation side effect, my last bowel movement being 4 days ago. I was feeling bloated and uncomfortable so I gave in and bought laxatives, then took 3 before bed, hoping to clear the blockage when I wake up.

I woke up an hour after my alarm was supposed to ring, meaning I had to leave my house ASAP to get to work on time. I didn't think about pooping at all until I was at work and counting the till for opening. I felt like I just had to fart, so I just let it rip. Big mistake. It was not just a fart.

It was a mess. I was supposed to be manning the store alone today. I had to put up a sign saying we were closed due to electrical issues and cried into the phone to my roommate as I cleaned myself up and tried to wash off my pants. I waited an hour for her to come and rescue me with a new change of clothing. Then had to explain to my manager why I opened the store 2 hours late.

TL;DR: I was constipated and took 3 laxatives in desperation to clear the blockage. Thought I had to fart at work and proceeded to mess my pants.