u/-Midscore-

Edited to add: 3 other employees (all female) are also acting the same as my husband is. They’re making this a gender related issue as she’s a female in a male dominated field. I wish I could be open with everyone as to why she was fired but I can’t.

My husband and I (32F) have 3 kids together, our youngest being 3 months, and we have worked for the same company for almost 5 years now. It’s a boat company that operates in tourism. He works out on the boat and I am the operations manager for the company (so technically his boss, however anything disciplinary on his part would be handled by our head captain as to not cross any lines).

We recently have had to fire one of our captains for safety reasons, 38F, my husband worked most of his shifts with her and had nothing but good things to say about her, other people did not hence her firing. She was known to pick favorite crew and bully, she struggled operating certain tours safely.

Her and my husband have my husband have been friends since he first got hired, I’ve had my reservations about her but ultimately she was kind to me, brought me very expensive gifts post partum, called in to check on me specifically. I mostly just didn’t like how my husband defended her blindly.

We fired her this past Wednesday, however she caught wind of her firing this past Monday because my head captain reached out to set up a meeting with her. She instantly panicked and started texting her friends, including my husband, to which I was confronted with anger and him saying to me “(Captain) is getting fired?!” He then left the house and had a 1.5hr phone call with her and came back sobbing. That made me really question the level of their friendship and I accused him of being in love with her.

Fast forward to Wednesday, we fired her and posted on our company slack that she was no longer with the company. We kept the message postive and vague to which my husband responded so everyone including our owners could see and said “I think we all deserve a reason and if we are not worthy of that then I will not be showing up for my shift tonight” and did not show up.

A lot has transpired since then but I’m incredibly angry that he’s willing to risk his job over this woman. Thankfully the owners are kind and understand the emotional response people are having. But as his wife, I am mortified and can’t believe he’s willing to risk our income for this girl. I feel like something deeper is going on. What do you think?

We are on a family beach vacation with my (40f) family. The ocean has been extremely rough so much so that when we tried to let the kids (6,5,2) play in the surf at ankle depth they were getting tossed around and we had to go back to the house because it was too much (red flag posted at the beach access which in NC means “A single red flag on North Carolina beaches means a high hazard with dangerous surf conditions and strong, frequent rip currents. Officials strongly advise everyone to stay out of the water because swimming is extremely dangerous.”) We go back out the next day and the red flag is still there. Visibly it’s slightly calmer but not by much. My husband who is a self-admitted “strong swimmer” wanted to take our 6 year old son out in the water past the breakers maybe 10’ out. I said absolutely not and my mom who was also there panicked and said “husbands name absolutely no one is out swimming right now. Do not go out there.”

My husband stormed off the beach. Then came back out and made a big show of swimming in the water. Later that evening he said I disrespected him big time by not letting him teach his son to swim in the water. I said that going out in those conditions was a hard non-negotiable for me for our child’s safety and that no matter how good of a swimmer he was something could happen that even the best of swimmers wouldn’t be a match for. He told me that he had gone out and tested the conditions and he felt it was safe and would never put his son in danger. I said I felt differently about the situation and that I understood he felt it was safe but I did not. Husband is furious with me and feels like I disrespected him. TLDR: AITA for not letting my husband take our 6 year old out in red flag ocean conditions?

***edited to add the child in question can swim, though is 6 so not a super strong swimmer by any means, husband wanted to teach him about swimming in the ocean specifically.

Long story long: a corporate thrift store launched branded, reusable bags around the same time they brought in self-checkouts as the predominant point of sale. I bought one on a previous visit, then brought it back to the store to reuse as intended. It got me a mild story to tell.

This is a lighter story on the malice, because I meant very little malice, but the other party would definitely see it that way.

I shopped, then checked out of the self-checkout. Note that the reusable bags were available for purchase right by the self-checkouts. I had to buy a 20c paper bag to accommodate some lightweight purchases, because I had a heavier object meant for my sturdier reusable bag and hadn’t brought any others. When I got to my car, I took a minute to Bluetooth my phone and look at my receipt. Then the front-end clerk knocked on my window.

She accused me of stealing the bag. I showed her my receipt with the 20c paper bag charge on it, thinking she meant that one, but she insisted I’d stolen the reusable one. She then asked me sternly to come inside and talk to her manager.

One thing people ought to know is that almost every corporate retail establishment (in North America, at least,) prohibits employees from chasing orapprehending thieves. And this would have been the pettiest theft in the store, aside from a CD or some small earrings. So I was about to get her in trouble.

I don’t like dunking on minimum wage workers (been there, barely survived,) but she really needed to know just how unsafe her actions could have been if she pulled that on someone else who’s a lot more hot-headed. So I went in with my receipt, purchases, and bags.

I wasn’t going to explain it to her. I wanted her to understand and hear me out properly, not just Karen people out of view of cameras and management. It’s just not safe, end of story, and I stand both feet on that matter.

I waited for the manager (with whom I’m acquainted as a regular shopper) then explained what had happened. I had to ask the employee to stop talking over me and let me finish, as the manager had asked for my story first, and I wanted to finish speaking. The manager had to ask her to stop, too.

I explained straightaway that I’d bought the reusable bag the week before, and of course brought it to reuse on this visit. The manager was like, well, duh, that’s what they’re for. I’m all, right? Great, glad to have that settled, because the employee assumed I’d stolen it and that’s what led to me coming inside to speak with her.

When I’d explained what had happened with the employee, I reminded the manager that her employee had no business following customers out to the car, and I had come in as a small favour to help her learn not to do that again for her own safety. Manager agreed, and we said some chatty goodbyes, in which I included the employee so there were fewer bad vibes.

She wasn’t there for the next few weeks, so I asked my friend (the production manager there at the time) what happened. Apparently she was canned for violating that safety protocol, because she’d been warned about following people and accusing people of theft and tag-swapping when she was supposed to be at the tills.

It’s too bad, but I hope she pivoted into being some sort of plain-clothes LP ghoul, instead. Gotta work with your motivation and skill set.

Every year my aunt asks me what I want for my birthday. Every year I tell her something specific. Every year she ignores it completely and makes me something handmade instead.

This has been happening for about six years. I have received a knitted scarf in a color I do not wear, a cross stitch with a quote I do not relate to, a homemade candle that smelled genuinely awful, and other things I cannot even fully remember. I have smiled and said thank you every single time and then quietly donated or thrown away each one.

This year she asked me what I wanted and I told her a specific book, it costs about twelve pounds, easy to find, I sent her the exact title and author. She texted back saying she had a great idea for something special instead.

On my birthday she handed me a hand painted wooden sign with my name on it and a floral border. I have no idea where I would put this in my home. I do not have that kind of decor. I never have.

Something in me just gave up. I thanked her and then quietly said that I appreciated the effort but when she asks me what I want and I tell her specifically, it would mean a lot if she went with that sometimes. I said I would genuinely have been happy with nothing rather than something I cannot use.

She cried. My mum called me later and said I was ungrateful and cruel and that my aunt spends weeks on these things.

I know she puts in effort. But effort toward something the person explicitly told you they do not want is not really a gift for them, it is a gift for yourself.

AITA?

My husband (30M) was asked to be a groomsman for one of his online friends sometime last year. I (31F) am an avid crocheter and personally like making gifts rather than just buying them so I decided to make them one of those viral bouquet blankets.

Now, I don’t really like this guy. He’s kind of an ass and from what my husband has said, he doesn’t like me either. (I have never met his fiancé) However I don’t have a lot of friends and have been a stay at home mom for the past 5 years with our two beautiful little girls (5 and 2). I don’t get a chance to really go and be an adult very often and I like weddings so believe me when I say I was pretty excited to go. (Especially since there’s a famous museum only an hours drive away that is on my bucket list.)

As I said, we were invited to this last year and unfortunately my own marriage is in a pretty rocky place right now. Major life events have happened and they’ve driven us apart, we’re trying to get back on track but the process has been really damaging to both of us. I’ve made choices I’m not proud of and my husband has behaviors he’s not okay with having.

Anyways, my husband vented to his friends about my contributions to our marital problems. (I don’t know if he’s been honest with them about his own but that’s on him.) But obviously that was the main reason for why I was then uninvited to the wedding. Which hurt really bad at first, but I understand that it’s their day and they can make that choice.

I’ve finished the blanket and now can’t seem to decide if I still want to give it to them. I feel as though I should as a gesture of “no hard feelings” but I can’t deny that I’m petty too. I don’t want to give them my hard work when it turned out so pretty and I’d rather give it to my cousin who is getting married this weekend. (My husband isn’t attending due to being on a work trip and I’m taking my children with me)

So would I be the asshole for keeping my handmade wedding gift?

Edit:

Holy hell, I was not expecting this to blow up like it has. Theres a lot of speculation on their intent and reasons. I want to clarify that I know why I was uninvited and I’ve accepted that I was uninvited. I have no one to blame except myself. I don’t want to air my personal issues as that wasn’t the intent of the post. I’ll reiterate that both my husband and I have damaging flaws that we’re actively working on.

My initial question was, “Do I still give them what I made.” Because I made it with the intention of trying to bridge the bad feelings between me and my husband’s friend and to offer a good gesture to the woman now entering their large online friend group. From the look of their invitations I guessed that she would appreciate it. However a few people have definitely offered good points of sticking to their registry and that the blanket has a high chance of just gathering dust.

My husband did not only talk to this one friend but to his whole online friend group and since they all would be in attendance, he acknowledged that the whole situation would be very awkward. But he feels obligated to still attend because he accepted the groomsman role and has stated that if our relationship was in a better spot, he would decline.

The reason I haven’t a gift for my cousin is that crocheting takes time and I’ve known about my husband’s friend’s wedding for a year and my cousin’s for about 2 months (my invitation got lost in the mail, and her fiancé is Australian so a lot of things got planned last minute to accommodate his family flying in, etc.)

I appreciate all of your input!

2nd Edit:

Y’all, this is absolutely nuts. I expected this post to get one or two replies and then just fade into obscurity. All of this has obviously been really overwhelming to handle but I’ve been trying to read through what I can.

I understood when I put forth my story to Reddit that speculation and theories would run rampant. That there would be people assuming the best and people assuming the worst. As I have stated before and will consistently, my personal business is my own. My “dirty laundry”, the common phrase being used here, is mine to handle and clean up. I did my best to stick to the facts of the matter and the actions to consequential pipeline for context.

As I stated in a comment, I understand the need to talk about things to gain perspective, or just to have someone listen. People need a support system, 100%.

I am content bowing out of this wedding. I may not like the guy, but I absolutely do not want to cause tension/issues on what I believe should be one of the happiest day of someone’s life. I had this thought before I was officially uninvited.

I love my husband, the father of my children, and he told me he loves me before he left on this work trip. He wants to work on himself and I’ve been doing my best to do the same. That’s all I need and care for right now.

Does it suck that my husband is still planning on going, absolutely. However there’s still 2 months until the event. Maybe he’ll change his mind, maybe he won’t. Maybe working on ourselves will strengthen our bond, maybe it won’t. Time will tell.

I am not planning on updating again.

Blanket stays with me. That was the answer I needed and I appreciate the well wishes for my relationship!

Thank you all for your insight!

I've been put on Ozempic because I have PMOS and have developed insulin resistance. I've been taking it for 2 weeks now and I've fallen victim to the constipation side effect, my last bowel movement being 4 days ago. I was feeling bloated and uncomfortable so I gave in and bought laxatives, then took 3 before bed, hoping to clear the blockage when I wake up.

I woke up an hour after my alarm was supposed to ring, meaning I had to leave my house ASAP to get to work on time. I didn't think about pooping at all until I was at work and counting the till for opening. I felt like I just had to fart, so I just let it rip. Big mistake. It was not just a fart.

It was a mess. I was supposed to be manning the store alone today. I had to put up a sign saying we were closed due to electrical issues and cried into the phone to my roommate as I cleaned myself up and tried to wash off my pants. I waited an hour for her to come and rescue me with a new change of clothing. Then had to explain to my manager why I opened the store 2 hours late.

TL;DR: I was constipated and took 3 laxatives in desperation to clear the blockage. Thought I had to fart at work and proceeded to mess my pants.

Our store got a new manager a few months ago who was obsessed with “professional appearance.” One of his first changes was removing stools from the registers because apparently cashiers sitting down “look lazy.” Didn’t matter that some of the employees were older or had back problems. If you weren’t actively standing, he’d come over and make comments about “energy” and “customer perception.”

So people started following policy exactly as written. Company handbook says employees can take short recovery breaks if physical fatigue affects performance or safety. Normally nobody bothers because sitting at the register solved the problem already. But once the chairs disappeared? Suddenly everybody was getting dizzy, sore knees, foot cramps, lower back pain etc.

Within like 2 weeks the front end became a disaster. Every 15 minutes someone was calling for a fatigue break and wandering off to sit in the break room for 10 minutes because technically that was allowed. Lines got insane. Customers complained constantly. The manager tried denying the breaks until HR reminded him the policy existed for liability reasons.

Best part was when corporate visited and saw 4 empty registers during peak hours while half the staff was sitting in the back icing their knees. Chairs quietly came back the next Monday lol

Hey everyone, this happened on Sunday. So one of my cousins (F27) recently got married to her high school boyfriend (M28) and his best friend/groomsman wore a white wedding dress to the wedding and tried to fake walk down the aisle before the actual wedding. My family is mostly first gen immigrants so they were all confused, but the groom's family was aghast and ashamed lmao.

Apparently it isn't the first time he's done something like this either, when they got engaged after my cousin proposed to her boyfriend last summer, the best friend got very upset when boyfriend said yes and they both took a boys trip to NYC in late June. During the groom's bachelor trip they didn't take my cousin's brother (the other groomsman) with them because they said he'd ruin "the vibe" since he doesn't go to raves or shares the same hobbies.

They were gonna have an Indian wedding and a reception in India a month after this White wedding, but I've heard from my mom that the groom didn't move into the condo my cousin's family gifted her and still lives with his best friend, and I've not received any information on flying to India for the wedding so people in family group chats are getting juicy with the annulment/divorce speculations.