u/1111_GHOST_1111

I (23M) feel like I'm watching my life pass by while everyone else is actually living theirs.

My best friend and I have known each other since school. He was always the good-looking, funny, confident guy. He could talk to anyone, make friends easily, joke around, tease girls, and people naturally liked him. Even now, he has a big social circle.

I was always the opposite. Quiet, introverted, skinny, awkward, and lacking confidence. I wasn't very attractive as a teenager either, although genetics were kind to me later and I look much better now. Girls have shown interest and people don't make fun of me anymore, but that didn't magically change who I am.

I enjoy being alone, but at the same time I struggle to connect with people. I go to work, come home, and only speak when necessary. Some coworkers probably think I dislike them because I'm so quiet, but that's not it. I just don't naturally click with most people.

It's not that I can't socialize. If I genuinely connect with someone, I can have long conversations, even with people much older than me. But in groups I usually stay silent. I don't enjoy loud party culture, drinking, smoking, or showing off. Most people around me seem to enjoy those things, so I often feel out of place.

Lately I feel like I'm slowly losing my best friend too. He spends time with other friends who party, dance, travel, meet girls, and do exciting things together. I feel like I have less and less to talk about with him. Back in school we shared the same life, but now everyone has moved forward while I feel like I've stayed the same.

That hurts because I don't have many people I'm truly close to. Most of my life is just work and staying at home.

People always say, "Just go out, meet new people, make friends." But for me it isn't that simple. I don't trust people easily and I don't open up unless I genuinely feel comfortable. Most conversations feel forced.

Sometimes I wonder what I even have to offer. I'm not loud, charismatic, funny, a good dancer, singer, or the life of the party. I don't drink, smoke, or chase girls. I'm just a quiet guy who enjoys genuine conversations, sports, movies, anime, and spending time with people I actually connect with.

On top of that, I feel a lot of pressure about my career. I want to earn enough money to build a secure future, which means working hard. But sometimes I wonder... if I keep working all the time, when do I actually get to enjoy life?

Lately I've started feeling emotionally numb. It's like I'm just existing instead of living.

Did things eventually get better? How did you find people you genuinely connected with without pretending to be someone you're not?

Hi, I'm 23 years old and work as a junior accountant. Lately I've been thinking a lot about my life, and honestly, I feel stuck.

​

Ever since I was a kid, confidence has been my biggest struggle. I was skinny, had puberphonia, and people used to make fun of my appearance and voice. They would mimic me, laugh, and it slowly turned me into a very quiet person. I learned that staying silent felt safer than being noticed.

​

I'm naturally introverted and I do enjoy being alone, but what I feel now goes beyond that. It's more like I'm disconnected from life.

​

I spend a lot of time in my own head. I'm constantly thinking, comparing myself to other people, replaying old memories, worrying about the future, or imagining fake scenarios that never happen. Sometimes it feels like I live more in my thoughts than in the real world.

​

I've always been very self-conscious and aware of how other people might see me. Even simple things like talking in a group, playing sports, meeting new people, or being around girls can make me feel uncomfortable and overly aware of myself.

​

I was never the loud, confident guy. I was never particularly good at studies, sports, or socializing. I always felt average while everyone else seemed to have something that made them stand out.

​

My family's financial situation wasn't great growing up. I couldn't go out much, couldn't afford many things my friends could, and I often said no when people invited me somewhere. Eventually the invitations stopped.

​

I've spent most of my life at home. Anime, movies, games, and my imagination became my comfort zone. For years I was okay with that, but now it feels like life kept moving while I stayed in the same place.

​

I've been rejected by girls, never had a female friend, and still don't know how to talk to someone I'm interested in. Not because I dislike people, but because I've always felt awkward around them.

​

What's frustrating is that some things have improved. My appearance is much better than it was when I was younger. My voice improved naturally too. But my confidence never really changed.

​

The biggest problem is that I don't seem to enjoy much anymore. It's not just socializing. I don't enjoy dancing, dressing up, taking photos, posting on social media, going out, partying, or many of the things people my age seem excited about. Even sports, which I loved as a kid, don't feel the same anymore because I get nervous and perform badly whenever I play with others.

​

I see people laughing, making memories, traveling, building relationships, and enjoying life. Sometimes I wish I could feel that excitement too, but most of the time I just feel numb or disconnected.

​

I don't hate being introverted and I don't want to become an extrovert. I don't need constant attention or a huge social circle. I just want to feel connected to people, excited about something again, and confident enough to participate in life instead of constantly observing it from the sidelines.

​

​

How Can i get out of it?

​

Hi, I'm 23 years old and work as a junior accountant. Lately I've been thinking a lot about my life, and honestly, I feel stuck.

​

Ever since I was a kid, confidence has been my biggest struggle. I was skinny, had puberphonia, and people used to make fun of my appearance and voice. They would mimic me, laugh, and it slowly turned me into a very quiet person. I learned that staying silent felt safer than being noticed.

​

I'm naturally introverted and I do enjoy being alone, but what I feel now goes beyond that. It's more like I'm disconnected from life.

​

I spend a lot of time in my own head. I'm constantly thinking, comparing myself to other people, replaying old memories, worrying about the future, or imagining fake scenarios that never happen. Sometimes it feels like I live more in my thoughts than in the real world.

​

I've always been very self-conscious and aware of how other people might see me. Even simple things like talking in a group, playing sports, meeting new people, or being around girls can make me feel uncomfortable and overly aware of myself.

​

I was never the loud, confident guy. I was never particularly good at studies, sports, or socializing. I always felt average while everyone else seemed to have something that made them stand out.

​

My family's financial situation wasn't great growing up. I couldn't go out much, couldn't afford many things my friends could, and I often said no when people invited me somewhere. Eventually the invitations stopped.

​

I've spent most of my life at home. Anime, movies, games, and my imagination became my comfort zone. For years I was okay with that, but now it feels like life kept moving while I stayed in the same place.

​

I've been rejected by girls, never had a female friend, and still don't know how to talk to someone I'm interested in. Not because I dislike people, but because I've always felt awkward around them.

​

What's frustrating is that some things have improved. My appearance is much better than it was when I was younger. My voice improved naturally too. But my confidence never really changed.

​

The biggest problem is that I don't seem to enjoy much anymore. It's not just socializing. I don't enjoy dancing, dressing up, taking photos, posting on social media, going out, partying, or many of the things people my age seem excited about. Even sports, which I loved as a kid, don't feel the same anymore because I get nervous and perform badly whenever I play with others.

​

I see people laughing, making memories, traveling, building relationships, and enjoying life. Sometimes I wish I could feel that excitement too, but most of the time I just feel numb or disconnected.

​

I don't hate being introverted and I don't want to become an extrovert. I don't need constant attention or a huge social circle. I just want to feel connected to people, excited about something again, and confident enough to participate in life instead of constantly observing it from the sidelines.

​

​

How Can i get out of it?

Hi, I'm 23 years old and work as a junior accountant. Lately I've been thinking a lot about my life, and honestly, I feel stuck.

​

Ever since I was a kid, confidence has been my biggest struggle. I was skinny, had puberphonia, and people used to make fun of my appearance and voice. They would mimic me, laugh, and it slowly turned me into a very quiet person. I learned that staying silent felt safer than being noticed.

​

I'm naturally introverted and I do enjoy being alone, but what I feel now goes beyond that. It's more like I'm disconnected from life.

​

I spend a lot of time in my own head. I'm constantly thinking, comparing myself to other people, replaying old memories, worrying about the future, or imagining fake scenarios that never happen. Sometimes it feels like I live more in my thoughts than in the real world.

​

I've always been very self-conscious and aware of how other people might see me. Even simple things like talking in a group, playing sports, meeting new people, or being around girls can make me feel uncomfortable and overly aware of myself.

​

I was never the loud, confident guy. I was never particularly good at studies, sports, or socializing. I always felt average while everyone else seemed to have something that made them stand out.

​

My family's financial situation wasn't great growing up. I couldn't go out much, couldn't afford many things my friends could, and I often said no when people invited me somewhere. Eventually the invitations stopped.

​

I've spent most of my life at home. Anime, movies, games, and my imagination became my comfort zone. For years I was okay with that, but now it feels like life kept moving while I stayed in the same place.

​

I've been rejected by girls, never had a female friend, and still don't know how to talk to someone I'm interested in. Not because I dislike people, but because I've always felt awkward around them.

​

What's frustrating is that some things have improved. My appearance is much better than it was when I was younger. My voice improved naturally too. But my confidence never really changed.

​

The biggest problem is that I don't seem to enjoy much anymore. It's not just socializing. I don't enjoy dancing, dressing up, taking photos, posting on social media, going out, partying, or many of the things people my age seem excited about. Even sports, which I loved as a kid, don't feel the same anymore because I get nervous and perform badly whenever I play with others.

​

I see people laughing, making memories, traveling, building relationships, and enjoying life. Sometimes I wish I could feel that excitement too, but most of the time I just feel numb or disconnected.

​

I don't hate being introverted and I don't want to become an extrovert. I don't need constant attention or a huge social circle. I just want to feel connected to people, excited about something again, and confident enough to participate in life instead of constantly observing it from the sidelines.

​

How Can i get out of it?

Hi everyone,

​

I'm a 23-year-old guy working as a junior accountant. I've always been a very introverted person. I enjoy being alone, talk very little, and only really open up to a handful of people. It's not that people don't invite me or try to include me—I just struggle to connect with most people and often feel out of place.

​

Growing up, I was very skinny and got made fun of for my appearance and voice. Because of that, I started avoiding attention and became extremely shy. I never really developed social confidence. I've always been nervous around girls and have barely talked to any throughout my life. I've never had a female friend, and the few times I tried pursuing someone, I got rejected.

​

Over time my appearance improved naturally, but my mindset never really changed. I still see myself as the same insecure person. Some female colleagues have called me handsome a few times, and I've received a few compliments from others, but I honestly don't know if they're genuine or if they're just being nice. I have a hard time believing positive things about myself.

​

At work, people often ask why I'm so quiet or whether I have a girlfriend. The truth is I've never even been in a relationship. They think I'm hiding something, but I'm really just a quiet person.

​

The problem is that I feel like people expect me to open up and be more social. I know they mean well, but I rarely feel the same vibe or connection with them. I often feel like I'm forcing myself to fit in rather than being myself.

​

I don't drink, smoke, party, dance, or enjoy loud social environments. Compared to most people my age, I feel boring. I can go weeks or even months without feeling the need to talk to many people. I'm comfortable with solitude, but other people seem uncomfortable with it.

​

Something I've noticed throughout my life is that if I stay quiet and keep to myself, people sometimes start disliking me or assuming I'm arrogant, rude, or unfriendly. In reality, I'm the opposite. I avoid conflict, rarely get angry, and usually laugh things off because I value my peace. Unfortunately, that sometimes leads people to take me for granted because I'm not good at standing up for myself in the moment.

​

My question is: How do you open up to people when you genuinely don't feel connected to them? Is it possible that I'm trying too hard to become someone I'm not? Has anyone else experienced something similar?

Hi everyone,

​

I'm a 23-year-old guy working as a junior accountant. I've always been a very introverted person. I enjoy being alone, talk very little, and only really open up to a handful of people. It's not that people don't invite me or try to include me—I just struggle to connect with most people and often feel out of place.

​

Growing up, I was very skinny and got made fun of for my appearance and voice. Because of that, I started avoiding attention and became extremely shy. I never really developed social confidence. I've always been nervous around girls and have barely talked to any throughout my life. I've never had a female friend, and the few times I tried pursuing someone, I got rejected.

​

Over time my appearance improved naturally, but my mindset never really changed. I still see myself as the same insecure person. Some female colleagues have called me handsome a few times, and I've received a few compliments from others, but I honestly don't know if they're genuine or if they're just being nice. I have a hard time believing positive things about myself.

​

At work, people often ask why I'm so quiet or whether I have a girlfriend. The truth is I've never even been in a relationship. They think I'm hiding something, but I'm really just a quiet person.

​

The problem is that I feel like people expect me to open up and be more social. I know they mean well, but I rarely feel the same vibe or connection with them. I often feel like I'm forcing myself to fit in rather than being myself.

​

I don't drink, smoke, party, dance, or enjoy loud social environments. Compared to most people my age, I feel boring. I can go weeks or even months without feeling the need to talk to many people. I'm comfortable with solitude, but other people seem uncomfortable with it.

​

Something I've noticed throughout my life is that if I stay quiet and keep to myself, people sometimes start disliking me or assuming I'm arrogant, rude, or unfriendly. In reality, I'm the opposite. I avoid conflict, rarely get angry, and usually laugh things off because I value my peace. Unfortunately, that sometimes leads people to take me for granted because I'm not good at standing up for myself in the moment.

​

My question is: How do you open up to people when you genuinely don't feel connected to them? Is it possible that I'm trying too hard to become someone I'm not? Has anyone else experienced something similar?

Hi everyone, M23 here.

I've been struggling with something for a long time, and lately it's been hitting me pretty hard.

I'm a shy and introverted guy. Talking to girls doesn't come naturally to me, and it usually takes a lot of courage for me to start a conversation. Because of that, when I do connect with someone, I tend to value it a lot.

One thing about me is that I get attached pretty easily when I've invested time and effort into talking to someone. Not because I'm imagining a future right away, but because meaningful connections are rare for me. Most days after work, I spend my time watching anime, scrolling reels, playing games, or just relaxing by myself. I don't really have many people in my life, so when I genuinely enjoy talking to someone, that connection becomes important to me.

The problem is that I've been ghosted by 4 girls so far—2 people I knew and 2 I met online.

What confuses me is that things usually seem fine at the start. The conversations flow well, they reply, ask questions, sometimes they even start the conversation themselves. There are no arguments or awkward moments that I can point to.

Then one day, they just disappear.

I end up waiting, checking my phone, wondering if they're busy, wondering if I said something wrong. Eventually I realize they're probably not coming back, and it hurts every time.

I always try to be respectful. I don't send inappropriate messages, I don't pressure people, and I don't flirt heavily. Sometimes I wonder if that's part of the problem. Maybe I'm too quiet. Maybe I'm boring. Maybe people just don't find me interesting enough to keep talking to.

After this happening multiple times, a thought keeps coming into my head: maybe this just isn't meant for me.

I know nobody owes me their time or attention, and I'm not angry at anyone. I'm just tired of getting my hopes up, investing emotionally, and ending up in the same place again.

I'm tired, disappointed, and honestly a little sad.

Can anyone else relate to this?

Hi everyone, M23 here.

I've been struggling with something for a long time, and lately it's been hitting me pretty hard.

I'm a shy and introverted guy. Talking to girls doesn't come naturally to me, and it usually takes a lot of courage for me to start a conversation. Because of that, when I do connect with someone, I tend to value it a lot.

One thing about me is that I get attached pretty easily when I've invested time and effort into talking to someone. Not because I'm imagining a future right away, but because meaningful connections are rare for me. Most days after work, I spend my time watching anime, scrolling reels, playing games, or just relaxing by myself. I don't really have many people in my life, so when I genuinely enjoy talking to someone, that connection becomes important to me.

The problem is that I've been ghosted by 4 girls so far—2 people I knew and 2 I met online.

What confuses me is that things usually seem fine at the start. The conversations flow well, they reply, ask questions, sometimes they even start the conversation themselves. There are no arguments or awkward moments that I can point to.

Then one day, they just disappear.

I end up waiting, checking my phone, wondering if they're busy, wondering if I said something wrong. Eventually I realize they're probably not coming back, and it hurts every time.

I always try to be respectful. I don't send inappropriate messages, I don't pressure people, and I don't flirt heavily. Sometimes I wonder if that's part of the problem. Maybe I'm too quiet. Maybe I'm boring. Maybe people just don't find me interesting enough to keep talking to.

After this happening multiple times, a thought keeps coming into my head: maybe this just isn't meant for me.

I know nobody owes me their time or attention, and I'm not angry at anyone. I'm just tired of getting my hopes up, investing emotionally, and ending up in the same place again.

I'm tired, disappointed, and honestly a little sad.

Can anyone else relate to this?

Hi everyone, M23 here.

I've been struggling with something for a long time, and lately it's been hitting me pretty hard.

I'm a shy and introverted guy. Talking to girls doesn't come naturally to me, and it usually takes a lot of courage for me to start a conversation. Because of that, when I do connect with someone, I tend to value it a lot.

One thing about me is that I get attached pretty easily when I've invested time and effort into talking to someone. Not because I'm imagining a future right away, but because meaningful connections are rare for me. Most days after work, I spend my time watching anime, scrolling reels, playing games, or just relaxing by myself. I don't really have many people in my life, so when I genuinely enjoy talking to someone, that connection becomes important to me.

The problem is that I've been ghosted by 4 girls so far—2 people I knew and 2 I met online.

What confuses me is that things usually seem fine at the start. The conversations flow well, they reply, ask questions, sometimes they even start the conversation themselves. There are no arguments or awkward moments that I can point to.

Then one day, they just disappear.

I end up waiting, checking my phone, wondering if they're busy, wondering if I said something wrong. Eventually I realize they're probably not coming back, and it hurts every time.

I always try to be respectful. I don't send inappropriate messages, I don't pressure people, and I don't flirt heavily. Sometimes I wonder if that's part of the problem. Maybe I'm too quiet. Maybe I'm boring. Maybe people just don't find me interesting enough to keep talking to.

After this happening multiple times, a thought keeps coming into my head: maybe this just isn't meant for me.

I know nobody owes me their time or attention, and I'm not angry at anyone. I'm just tired of getting my hopes up, investing emotionally, and ending up in the same place again.

I'm tired, disappointed, and honestly a little sad.

I'm a 23M and a few months ago I connected with a 21F on LinkedIn.

For around 3 weeks, we talked almost every day. The conversations were long, fun, playful, sometimes slightly flirty, and we talked about all kinds of things including relationships, love, life experiences, goals, work, and daily life. She even shared her picture with me and there were a lot of moments that made me feel she genuinely enjoyed talking to me.

I played things pretty safe because I didn't want to ruin the connection by moving too fast.

Everything seemed fine until this week.

On Monday we exchanged fewer messages than usual, but she told me she was busy and the conversation still felt normal.

The next day was similar. Fewer messages, but she was still responsive.

Then one day I got a very dry "hmm..." reply. It immediately felt off to me.

I asked her how her day was. No response.

I waited a whole day and then sent a light follow-up message.

The strange part is that right after I sent it, she appeared online. I thought I'd get a reply, but she never even opened the message. Since then I've seen her online multiple times, she changed her profile picture, and clearly uses the app, but my messages remain unread.

It's now been around 2 days.

What is driving me crazy is that there was no argument, no awkward conversation, no rejection, and no explanation. We went from talking regularly for weeks to complete silence.

I got used to talking to her.

I looked forward to her messages.

Now I spend way too much time checking my phone, hoping for a notification. Every time my phone lights up, I hope it's her. Every time it isn't, I feel disappointed again.

Deep down I think she's intentionally avoiding the conversation. The signs seem obvious. But another part of me keeps thinking:

"Maybe she's busy." "Maybe something happened." "Maybe she'll reply tomorrow."

That little bit of hope is making it hard to let go.

What makes this worse is that this isn't the first time something like this has happened to me. In the past I've had another online connection where things started great, we talked a lot, and then the replies gradually slowed down until the person disappeared.

I was afraid this situation would end the same way, and now it feels like my fear came true.

I feel anxious, sad, frustrated, and honestly exhausted.

I keep replaying our conversations in my head and wondering what changed.

I know I can't force someone to reply, but I don't know how to stop waiting. Part of me feels like I already have my answer, but another part of me still hopes a notification will suddenly appear.

For people who have gone through this:

How do you accept that someone is probably gone when they never actually tell you?

How do you stop waiting for the notification?

How do you deal with the lack of closure?

At what point did you finally accept it was over?

Right now I feel stuck between accepting reality and hoping she'll come back.

I (22M) met a girl (around 21F) online about 2 weeks ago and we've been chatting almost every day.

We talked about relationships, loyalty, true love, casual dating, future plans, jealousy, etc.

She was very engaged in conversations and shared quite a few personal things with me, so naturally I started thinking there might be some mutual interest.

Earlier on, I asked if she had ever been in a relationship and I understood her answer as "no", so I assumed she was single.

Yesterday, during a conversation about relationships, she told me the qualities she wants in a partner. I asked if she had ever found someone like that.

The conversation eventually led to relationship status, and that's when I found out she has actually been in a relationship since January 2025.

After that, she asked me if I had ever liked someone. I replied with:

"I was just hoping to genuinely get to know someone, but obviously that's not going anywhere now."

She kept asking what I meant. When I tried to move on from it, she replied:

"Did you start liking me? 😉😂 Just kidding 😂"

I didn't answer.

Now it's been a day and I keep thinking about it. I had started liking talking to her, but at the same time I feel confused because she never mentioned having a boyfriend despite so many conversations about relationships.

Part of me feels she already knew I was interested. Another part of me thinks maybe she was just being friendly and I'm overthinking.

I don't know whether I should reply to her last message, ignore it, be honest that I was interested in getting to know her, or simply stop initiating conversations.

What would you do in my situation?

TL;DR: Met a girl online, talked daily for 2 weeks, assumed she was single based on earlier conversations. Later found out she has had a boyfriend since January 2025. After I hinted that I was interested in getting to know someone, she jokingly asked if I liked her. I didn't reply and now I'm unsure whether to respond, continue talking, or move on.