They call me Dr. Rolex…
As a teacher at an elite private high school, I have a responsibility to set an example for the next generation.
Every morning, I enter my classroom wearing my $487.43 Clean Plus Factory Submariner. The rehaut is approximately 14 degrees off, the bezel insert has the font consistency of a ransom note, and the movement sounds like a ceiling fan full of gravel.
The students know.
When I enter the room, they rise from their seats and bow.
“Good morning, Dr. Rolex,” they whisper.
One student recently asked if he could touch my wrist. I permitted it under strict supervision of an administrator.
Another brought me a handwritten essay titled The Philosophical Implications of Chinese Replicas in Late Capitalism.
I gave him an A++.
At lunch, I noticed three students bowing toward my wrist from across the quad. I reminded them that true horological appreciation comes from within, not from the counterfeit Swiss luxury object on my arm.
Then I checked my reflection in the classroom window to make sure the cyclops magnification was sufficiently unhinged.
My principal has asked me to stop referring to my watch as “an investment-grade timepiece.”
I told him that some people teach calculus. Others teach the fourth friggin dimension: time.
Gentlemen, wear your reps with pride. You are not merely deceiving the authorized dealer community.
You are shaping young minds.