u/Additional-Big-508

I’m 20, but people often perceive me as much younger because I’m very short and skinny and have a very youthful face. Sometimes I honestly hate how much anxiety this gives me.

My aunt's 6 year old daughter (on the chubbier side) playfully hit me, and I didn’t even feel it. Her mom immediately stopped her and said something along the lines of “you’re bigger than her” and “look how small she is.”

I know she didn't mean anything malicious, but hearing an adult say that really got to me. I’m a woman, but the interaction made me feel like I’m perceived as almost child-sized.

And it connects to something I worry about a lot:

I feel like looking so young makes me more vulnerable to people with bad intentions. I’ve encountered creeps who seemed to be flirting with me, and sometimes I get the feeling that they assume I’m naive or that I’ll be easy to manipulate because of how young I look. Especially when they compliment the way I look. When they call me "beautiful" I know that they don't mean it in a good way, but because I look like someone who could fulfill their disgusting fetish.

Which is why I take extra precautions and bring self-defence items.

I know looking young doesn't mean I'm actually helpless or that something bad is going to happen to me. But sometimes I genuinely feel like I’ll be perceived as potential prey forever, while other women my age can simply look their age and not have a particular anxiety to this extent.

It’s frustrating because I can’t change the fact that I have a very youthful face and tiny frame.

I’m 20 and extremely petite, and sometimes I really hate how noticeable my size is.

Today my aunt’s friend’s adorable, chubby daughter playfully hit me, and I didn’t even feel it. Her mom immediately told her not to hit me because “You’re bigger than her” and "Look how tiny she is"

I know she probably meant it harmlessly, but honestly it made me feel awful. I’m a woman, yet hearing an adult compare my size to a 6 year old made me feel like people genuinely see me as fragile or physically weak.

It's so degrading.

It also feeds into a bigger fear I have.

Being this small sometimes makes me feel like I’m automatically perceived as more vulnerable than other adult women. I worry that people with bad intentions might look at me and assume I’m easier to overpower, manipulate, or take advantage of.

I’ve also encountered creeps who seemed to be flirting with me and sometimes I wonder if my tiny, youthful-looking appearance makes them think I’ll be easier to manipulate.

I know being skinny doesn’t automatically make someone weak or unsafe, but emotionally it can be difficult not to think about it. Sometimes I feel like I’ll always be perceived as fragile or like an easy target because of my size.

I just wish people could see me as a normal adult woman instead of immediately noticing how tiny I am.

We went to Primark today and my mom, who usually wears an S, fit into an XS. I started talking about how I’d heard that Primark’s sizing has gotten bigger and how vanity sizing works, and she basically said she didn’t think it was true. She's probably in denial lol. Cause apparently a lot of women wanna be thin which I don't get.

I know a lot of women get excited about fitting into a smaller size because smaller numbers are associated with being thinner, and honestly, good for them if that makes them happy (I get so jealous of them but whatever. They have it so easy and now are being rewarded which is unfair) But when you're already an XXS, there's nowhere else to go when even XXS starts running too big.

It honestly frustrated me because I feel like people who have never had to struggle with being at the absolute bottom of the size range don't understand how annoying this can be.

I’m already shopping in XXS and petite sections, and sometimes I STILL can't find things that fit properly. When I do find something, it's a rare occurrence. Meanwhile someone who normally wears S can suddenly fit XS and it's considered a nice little bonus.

It's so frustrating when you're constantly reminded that the standard size range basically wasn't designed with your body in mind.

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I (20F) asked my mom a simple (rethorical) question: “Haha I wonder why I look different in the mirror compared to pictures. I feel like I look weird in pictures.”

We were having a conversation before and talked about different things. But this time she didn’t answer. She just looked at my face and then went on her phone. I asked her why she's so silent and then she suddenly got defensive and said, “I’m not going to answer you!! You already know the answer, why are you asking me?”

Then she started throwing a carton box and yelling that she doesn’t want to answer difficult questions after coming home.

Which is strange because she was so talkative after coming home.

And honestly, I’m still confused because she treats it like it's a difficult question, it wasn't even meant to be answered.

The way she treated it made it feel like I had asked something extremely sensitive or like there was some uncomfortable truth she didn’t want to say.

I wonder if I was conventionally attractive, would she have reacted the same way? Would she still find it so difficult to answer? Would she still get defensive? Or would it have just been a normal conversation?

In that moment, it made me feel like my appearance is some uncomfortable topic that people don’t want to acknowledge. Based on her reaction, she really does think I'm not good looking. Because if I was, she wouldn't have overreacted or acted like it's a difficult question lol.

What do you guys think? It seems like she doesn't think Im good looking but wants to hide it. I don't want any sugar coating bs. I'm so tired of people lying or being fake

A group of young guys made a weird noise at me

I (20F) had a strange interaction today.

I was walking home when a group of very young (im guessing around 18-19 year olds) walked past me.

A second or two after we passed each other, one of them made a "meow" or squeaky noise at me (I didn't hear it clearly). I turned around, said, "Who the fuck said that?" and pointed at the guy I thought did it. They immediately stopped, panicked and denied that anyone had said anything, but I'm pretty sure it was one of them.

I have a feeling they did that because they find me ugly and were mocking me.

I wanted to bring up something that made me uncomfortable because I think it's relevant to anyone posting photos here.

After I shared a swimsuit review, I received a comment. I checked the person's Reddit profile, and their activity was overwhelmingly focused on commenting in XXS, petite, and teenage-looking communities.

I'm not saying everyone who comments is like this. Most people here just want to help. But because this is an XXS subreddit, I think it's worth remembering that some people may follow these communities for fetishistic reasons rather than an interest in fashion or fit.

Especially if you're younger or you look younger than your age, please be careful about interacting with strangers, check profiles if something feels off, and don't hesitate to block or report users who make you uncomfortable.

I know we're still young (I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 22), and we've been together for 1 year and 9 months, which might not seem like a very long time to some people. But it's been long enough for us to build a really deep connection and become a huge part of each other's lives.

We've been through a lot together. We've had our ups and downs, difficult conversations, periods where we had to work through problems, and moments that brought us even closer. Despite our differences, we've always cared deeply about each other. He's my best friend, one of the people I trust most, and someone I genuinely envisioned having a future with. We still love each other very much, which is what makes this situation so painful.

My boyfriend has always dreamed of being a father. It's not just something he'd like someday it's one of his biggest life goals.

He often talks about reading bedtime stories, having kids jump on our bed in the morning, teaching them things, disciplining them, raise them right and being there for them. I know he would make an amazing father.

I was on board with it in the beginning, but after a lot of thinking, I've realized that I don't want children.

I don't see myself becoming a mother, and I would rather focus on my career and other goals in life. This wasn't a decision I made lightly. I spent a long time reflecting on it because I know how important this is to him.

We recently had an emotional conversation and agreed to have some time apart so I could think about my final decision. During that conversation, he told me that if I decide I don't want children, we will have to break up.

He said it hurts him to say that, but he doesn't want to spend years waiting and hoping I'll change my mind only for me to ultimately decide I don't want kids. He also said that he always imagined having that future with me and doesn't want to be with another woman.

I understand his side completely. If being a father is his dream, I don't think it's fair for me to ask him to give that up. At the same time, I don't think it's fair for me to become a mother when that's not the life I want for myself.

I've already decided that I don't want to have children. It would not be right for me to decide to have children just for the sake of him staying.

What hurts the most is that we still love each other. This isn't a case of cheating, abuse, lying, or falling out of love. It feels like we're facing a possible breakup simply because our visions for the future don't align.

TL;DR : My boyfriend (22M) and I (20F) have been together for 1 year and 9 months and still love each other deeply. His biggest dream is to become a father, while after a lot of reflection I've realized I don't want children. He told me that if I ultimately decide not to have kids, we'll have to break up because he doesn't want to give up his dream of fatherhood. Neither of us is angry at the other, but we're heartbroken and struggling with the possibility that love alone may not be enough when our future goals don't align.

My (20F) boyfriend (22M) has been diagnosed with BPD, and I've been wondering whether something I've noticed could be related to mirroring.

Recently, I was sending a video to my brother while my boyfriend was next to me. He only caught a brief glimpse of my screen and saw that I was sending a video. When he saw it, he said something like, "Oh, that's the video I sent you!" The thing is, I'm pretty sure it was actually the other way around. I had sent that video to him, not him to me. It wasn't a big argument or anything, but it stood out to me because it felt like he remembered the interaction differently. Could be a mix up since it happens to people but that caught me off guard.

Another thing that confused me is that I have ADHD and have mentioned it to him before, especially when explaining why I sometimes forget things or struggle with certain tasks. He never really asked questions about it or talked much about ADHD when I brought it up.

Recently, though, he showed me a TikTok about ADHD in men and said it was very relatable for him. I asked if he thought he might have ADHD, and he said it's possible. What surprised me was that he had never really talked about ADHD in relation to himself before.

I'm not trying to invalidate his experience or say he doesn't have it, I just found it confusing that when I talked about my ADHD, the topic didn't seem to go anywhere, but now he's relating to ADHD content himself.

Does this sound like possible mirroring, or does it sound more like a memory mix-up and someone genuinely recognizing traits in themselves?

My mom and I (20F) are usually very close and can talk about almost anything. That's why this bothers me.

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Earlier, we were talking her getting irregular periods when she was younger and I asked whether she ever worried she was pregnant during the irregular cycles. She responded that if you don't do anything "bad" there's nothing to worry about, then added that I'm still too young to do "the bad thing" as she refers it.

What frustrates me isn't that she has her own views on it. It's that we can't seem to have a straightforward conversation about it.

I'm also very petite and look younger than my age, so part of me wonders whether that contributes to her still seeing me as a kid. I don't know if that's actually the reason, but I was genuinely just hoping to have a conversation about something that worries me.

My periods are irregular, so pregnancy scares are something I've thought about, even if protection is used. I wanted to be able to talk to my mom about those fears, how to handle them.

Instead, it felt like the conversation got shut down before we could really discuss it.

TL;DR: My mom and I are usually very close and can talk about almost anything, but certain adult topics feel off-limits. I'm 20, yet she still refers to them as "bad things," which makes it difficult to have an open conversation. I wasn't looking for permission or approval, I just wanted to talk about a worry that's relevant to me because my periods are irregular and I'd like to know how other people deal with pregnancy scares and related anxieties.

I've noticed that throughout my life, both men and women have often called me "cute," but I rarely get called "pretty" or "beautiful", unless I dress up. It made me wonder if "cute" is sometimes a nicer way of saying someone isn't attractive enough to be called beautiful, or if it just means a different type of attractiveness.

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For context, I'm petite, so I've also wondered whether that influences it.

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When you call a woman cute, what does it mean to you? Is it a compliment you'd give someone you're genuinely attracted to, or is it different from calling someone pretty or beautiful?

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Genuine question, and I'm not trying to generalize or attack anyone.

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I've noticed that some men strongly dislike or criticize women wearing revealing clothing in public. I've heard comments like "Why do they need to show themselves off like that?" and I'm curious about where that reaction comes from.

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For the men who feel this way, what is the reason? Is it mainly about personal values, modesty, respect, relationship boundaries, religion, concern about attention from others, or something else?

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One thing I've wondered about is whether some men feel uncomfortable because they may find the person attractive or experience a physical reaction they didn't choose... (you know what I'm talking about), and then feel guilty or frustrated about it. Or is that completely off-base?

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I'm genuinely curious about the psychology behind it.

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I wanted to ask this respectfully because I’m trying to understand something better and I’d really appreciate hearing from people with lived experience of BPD.

My (20F) boyfriend (22M) has BPD, and I’ve noticed that when he plays competitive games like CS2 or Valorant, he can become very emotionally overwhelmed when things go badly. I know that getting frustrated or even raging a bit can be normal in competitive games, but in this case it feels like it goes beyond that.

In those moments, he can become very intense emotionally and starts saying things like “nothing ever goes my way” or “I have the worst luck,” and sometimes even says he wants to kill himself (he doesn’t mean it literally and that it’s just in the heat of frustration, but it really concerns me).

When I try to calm him down, he usually does relax again but I find myself feeling worried that these episodes might be affecting his overall mood more than it seems in the moment.

Outside of gaming, he’s very loving, caring, and emotionally present.

If you’ve experienced something similar, I’d really appreciate hearing how you cope with it or what has helped you manage it!

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I often get confused because my boyfriend will say something, and then a few weeks later he'll say or do something that seems to completely contradict it.

For example, I've told him multiple times that I'm going to be busy studying for exams and don't want distractions, cause it's especially hard for me since I have ADHD.

He'll agree and say he understands, but the next day he'll suggest watching a movie together or start showing me TikToks while I'm studying. Then I have to remind him again that I'm busy.

Another example:

......I know this one might sounds silly but one time he said that after experiencing pain himself (from pooping? 😭), he didn't want to ask me to do anal sex because he could imagine how uncomfortable it might be for me. I agreed because I'm not into anal. Then a few weeks later he brought up the idea of trying anal sex anyway, which left me confused because I thought we'd already settled that.

Even with small things, it happens. One day he was excited about trying Five Guys and said he'd love to go there. A few weeks later I suggested we go, and suddenly he said it's overrated and he wasn't interested.

Or he would say things like how he loves playing FIFA and that its his favorite game of all time. Then after some time he'd say that the game sucks.

(Alexa, play Hot N Cold by Katy Perry)

Does anyone else experience this with thier partner?

I’m 20 years old, 4'11 (150 cm), and around 79 lbs / 36 kg with a baby face. I naturally look really young for my age, especially in winter clothes apparently lol.

A couple months ago I went skiing with my family (my parents, my 17 year old brother, and me)

The ski tickets were something like:

Kids under 12: free

Teens 13-16: €25

Adults: €45

My parents decided to try taking advantage of my youthful looks and asked for 2 teen tickets and 2 adult tickets instead of 1 teen + 3 adult tickets.

Later we looked at the tickets and realized they had actually given us : 2 adult tickets, 1 teen ticket....and 1 CHILD ticket!

Which means they literally looked at me and thought:

“yeah this one is under 12”

Meanwhile my 17 year old brother got the teen ticket.

At some point it was great that I was free, but I also felt somewhat offended hahaha

Does anyone else here constantly get mistaken for being way younger?

I’m 20 and very petite/young-looking. I genuinely do not care about fitting into kids sizes sometimes.

I know sizing is just measurements, that part doesn't bother me.

What bothers me is the way my mom constantly emphasizes it and seems almost proud of it.

Every time sizing comes up, she HAS to mention that I fit into “little girls clothes,” “12-year-olds,” “kids section,” etc.

For example, my dad was trying to look for a harness size for me for kiting lessons and was checking women’s sizing for reference. My mom immediately jumped in saying “No, those women’s sizes won’t fit her, she’s size 152 in the little girls section, for 12-year-olds.” It felt genuinely humiliating hearing that phrased like that in front of people.

Another time I tried on clothes she ordered for me and said one top felt too broad in the shoulders for me. She responded with “Yeah, because it’s not for little girls like you.” Or she’ll show me swimsuits and say “This is for 12-year-olds, it’s perfect for you.”

I've mentioned her a couple times already that I feel uncomfortable and insecure whenever she mentions that, and she'd then apologize but still would repeat the same thing....

The thing is, I’m already extremely self-conscious about how young I look. Not because I hate being petite, but because sometimes it genuinely makes me uncomfortable how some people perceive me. There are creeps in the world who are attracted to girls who look very young, and that thought already makes me feel vulnerable enough on its own.

So hearing my mom constantly compare me to literal children or emphasize how childlike I look just makes those insecurities worse. It feels like she unintentionally keeps reminding me how vulnerable and physically childlike I appear to other people, even though I’m an adult woman.

After hearing it over and over again it starts feeling less like harmless comments and more like I’m not seen as a grown woman at all.

I’m struggling to find lingeries that actually fit my proportions and I was hoping for recommendations from people with very small band/ribcage measurements 😭

My measurements are:

Underbust: 57.47 cm/22.6 inches

Bust: 68.5 cm/27 inches

Most brands around me start at much bigger band sizes, and even the smallest bras often feel too loose in the band while the cups still don’t sit right.

I also have a petite frame, so I’m trying to figure out

What bra size I’d likely be and which brands carry small band sizes.

Affordable brands/websites that ship to Europe would also really help!