u/Alert_Reflection_723

Want an ex back. Ended on his terms. Can't explain it fully. But we love each other but he's scared.

Okay me and my ex broke up a few days ago. Ended on good terms, his terms. I had nothing to say but accept. Even though I really really wanted it to him. And he wanted it to be me. He is an overthinker the day before he cut things off, we were on call and he even told me i love you and everything. But the next day he wakes up all normal and then breaks things off me saying how much sorry he is but we need to part ways. He even told me he saw his future with me. So i need help y'all, he makes playlist about me still, checks on me from his friends socials he thought i wouldn't know but I do!!! He wants me but is running way. So I need help.

F(21) He (M20) ended our 9-month situationship. I don't know how to move on.

My situationship of 9 months ended yesterday, and I honestly don't know how to process it.

We were never officially boyfriend and girlfriend, but we were completely committed to each other. He even told me before that what we had felt more like a relationship than a situationship, which makes this hurt even more.

We were fine. At least, that's what I thought.

We both come from difficult family backgrounds, with trauma and ongoing family problems. Yesterday, he told me that because of everything happening in his life, he couldn't continue. He said he wasn't the right person for me and that I deserved someone who could be physically present in my life. We were long-distance.

I kept reassuring him that he was enough. I never wanted anyone else. I wanted him.

The hardest part is that he admitted he'd been thinking about this for months. Back in May, we had a vulnerable phone call where he told me he loved me, saw a future with me, and was ready to make us official. I held onto those words, believing we'd be okay.

I don't know what changed.

I was ready to stand by him through everything. He has a lot on his plate. He's studying BCA, preparing for a very competitive exam next year, and carries anxiety from his previous relationship. He told me he loved me genuinely, apologized for hurting me, and said he needed to let me go so we could both grow into better versions of ourselves.

I understand his reasons. I really do.

But what about me?

He was the first man I genuinely trusted after my ex cheated on me. I wasn't even looking for a relationship when we met. He knew that. He knew everything about me—my fears, my past, my insecurities.

Over time we became so close.

We shared playlists, slept on calls together, had our own nicknames, sent each other reels, made Pinterest boards, planned our future, and talked about meeting. We had saved money for our first date this July because I was finally doing my internship. I even had gifts and handwritten letters ready for him.

That date will never happen.

He wasn't financially well off, but whenever I mentioned I was hungry, he'd insist on sending me money to buy food or a snack. Those little things meant so much to me.

When we broke up, he was incredibly kind. He apologized over and over. He told me he loved me and wished me the best. We even joked a little before saying goodbye because that's just how we were.

Then, because I asked him to, he removed me from all his social media. He deleted our shared collections and playlists. I know I asked for it because I thought it would help me move on, but seeing everything disappear made the breakup feel so final.

I'm devastated.

After the breakup, I broke down crying in front of my parents. I never cry in front of people, especially not them. They're very strict, but seeing me sob so hard, they eventually comforted me. I never thought they'd see me like that.

Part of me still hopes he'll come back, but when I read his messages again, he sounds certain about his decision. He didn't leave because we were toxic or because we stopped loving each other. He left because he believed he couldn't be the partner I deserved.

That somehow hurts even more.

So I guess I'm here asking:

Has anyone been through something similar?

Is there any realistic chance someone comes back after ending things like this?

How do I stop hoping?

And most importantly... how do I move on from someone I genuinely thought I'd spend my future with?

I know it's only been a day, but right now it feels impossible to imagine life without him.

I'm F (21) Mine strictly cut off things with me, 9 months situationship, M(20). We were fine months back. Even that day it (break-up) happened (yesterday) we were fine but since we were both from the same family background. Trauma. And all family problems he said he couldn't deal with it. And that he was not the right person for me. Even though i kept reassuring him that he was enough. I truely really loved him. He told me that what we had was more like a relationship. Which makes it even worse coz we were committed. I was committed. And he told me after months and months of being with him through thick and thin we solved wvey conflicts and fights but he said he can't ldr. It's hard for him. So it is for me. But I was willing to try because I saw him as him. I loved him as him.

Yk i wasn't ready but I was willing to try with him I was willing. He tells me he was contemplating this for months and i thought things would be okay because back in May when we were on call he told me oh so vulnerably that he loves me and sees the future with me and that he's ready to make "us" official. Idk what went wrong. I was gonna be with him through thick and thin. I was always there. He told me how sorry he was for doing this to me and that he can't deal with so many things and especially the way he is anxious because of his past relationship. I get it..but what about me? I'm so torn. He was the very first person that made me like a man after my ex who cheated on me. I told him that I wasn't looking for relationship he knew. He knew everything about me everything. But after few months. We eventually grew closer. We'd share our secrets and crack jokes our nicknames and playlists, calls everything. We did everything a couple would do. He would even send me his money to buy snacks or to buy something for myself when I told him I was hungry even though he wasn't financially well off. He would do that. We planned to meet up and we saved up for our first date. But it never happened(we were supposed to meet by July I was doing my internship. I had gifts and letters for him.)

I became so emotional attached to someone for the first time. We were so good,he told me we had to cut things and go seperate ways inorder to grow into better person. He took bca ik it's not an easy course and he really is a studious person he told me next year he'll be appearing for an exam. Which requires a very huge amount of studying and dedication. And i kept that in mind. I wanted to tell him that we didn't have to part ways but I knew i couldn't force him. He has a lot in his plate I understaand that. I respect his decision but I'm so lost. I can't comprehend it. I love him. And i belive he did too. He did love me. The fact he removed me from all his socials because I asked him too and he respectfully did that. Removed our collection of ideas we would have done when we met up. And he was so kind to me. So soft. I was hoping he would reassure me back when we were talking about the stuffs before he brought the "let's end it" text. But sadly. No. He has made up his mind. I'm so scared im hoping he'd come back but when i read his texts. It just proves me wrong and that i have to face it. We are done. Guys please help me with this. How do I deal or get over? I never break down infront of people i never seek for help but today after the breakup I ended up sobbing and weeping infront of my parents. They're super strict and I got nagged for behaving that way but eventually they understood what I was going through and helped me with it. I didn't mean to show them this side but I was sobbing so hard my mum had to sooth me comfort me. So I'm please asking you guys us there a possibility for him to return? Should I give up? And how should I move on? I love him.