u/AnotherNewAccount89

Well y’know what, lady? Tough! I’m not doing it. When we were broke-ass poor 20 years ago and I suggested I cut your hair to save some money, you weren’t having it. Now we’re comfortable and you can pay someone to cut it once a week if you want you’re going to ask me to do it just because the lady at the salon just doesn’t get it quite right? You were too good for me then and I’m too good for you now.

And another thing! Once the kid sees me cutting your hair, she’s gonna want me to cut hers and that’s going to be my whole life. Y’all gonna think you can just get a damn haircut any time you want. Well I’m not some trained monkey you can just summon at will. I will not do it, I tell you I will not. Go to the salon, make an appointment, and wait three weeks like god intended.

For the keyboard warriors, this is tagged as humor and was intended as such. I love my wife dearly, I will absolutely cut her hair, and I am in fact a (badly) trained monkey that she can summon at will.