u/Antique-Evidence-844

i’ve said/thought some pretty horrific things about myself and my appearance and my self esteem has taken a hit.

how do i go about fixing things? i have no idea where to start. i can barely look people in the eye when talking because i’m so insecure.

i really want to change because i can’t keep on living like this, it’s deteriorating my mind and my body. it’s my 20th birthday tomorrow and i’m not the person i want to be at all.

My mom isn’t a bad person but she has deeply negatively affected my entire family’s life.

Ever since i was able to do work around the house (10-11 years old), my mom has given all cleaning responsibilities to my siblings and i.

she has never consistently done ANY housework apart from cooking, because she doesn’t see it as her responsibility. no cleaning, no dishes, no laundry, not even basic chores. if she ever does do anything, it’s “her doing us a favor”.

she is unemployed, me and my siblings are full time students and my dad has a full time job.

naturally, this would mean that she should do some work around the house, but the most she’ll do is make food ~4 days a week. and she rarely cleans up after cooking.

our house gets very dirty and messy because she is completely incapable of cleaning. i remember coming home from school to a disgusting, filthy house, dirty dishes in the sink, and having to clean instead of doing homework. many times i did not even clean due to my own exhaustion and mental health issues, so the house would just get worse.

my dad, who works a full time job and earns all the money does more housework and takes better care of us than my unemployed mom.

my mom definitely has some sort of depression and issues but she also is just a completely incompetent parent. she goes through phases where she does more work occasionally, but the most she’ll do in a day is make lunch and do the dishes. she’s also very capable of doing things, but almost acts like she is disabled, which she very much is not.

in the past, she would tell me and my 3 siblings (at the time, we were between 8-16 years old) that she wasn’t our mom anymore and to stop calling her mom. this was over a stupid disagreement and it lasted about 3 weeks of her acting like we were strangers.

she is making me depressed. she watches tv all day while everyone else is at work or school. i’m so sick of living in a dirty rotting house. she doesn’t even feel bad because she doesn’t see cleaning as her responsibility. we are all older now (14-22) but it’s still so hard to live with her.

i am in college now and i commute. she still finds excuses whenever she can to not drop my siblings to school, so i end up doing it. she gets “sick” very often. i also often drop my brother to his football games. she has probably attended one single game of his (against her will, of course). she barely even leaves the house to buy groceries. a few weeks ago i got home at after a long day at college and she was asking me to buy groceries at 9 pm, instead of doing it herself (she had been home all day as usual).

she still cares about us in other ways but when it comes to being a mom she says she’s “given up” — even though she never even had a good reason to, she just got tired of being a mom. she should never have had kids if she didn’t want to act like an adult. she is in therapy and has been for quite a while but she never improves, because she just finds therapists who validate her feelings. even my dad is scared of addressing anything.

seeing her be so incompetent and pathetic makes me sick. i still care about her but i can’t put up with her being so selfish and lazy. recently, i have been really struggling with my mental health and very often fail to clean, let alone leave my room. i feel like i am becoming her and it makes me really disgusted.

My mom isn’t a bad person but she has deeply negatively affected my entire family’s life.

Ever since i was able to do work around the house (10-11 years old), my mom has given all cleaning responsibilities to my siblings and i.

she has never consistently done ANY housework apart from cooking, because she doesn’t see it as her responsibility. no cleaning, no dishes, no laundry, not even basic chores. if she ever does do anything, it’s “her doing us a favor”.

she is unemployed, me and my siblings are full time students and my dad has a full time job.

naturally, this would mean that she should do some work around the house, but the most she’ll do is make food ~4 days a week. and she rarely cleans up after cooking.

our house gets very dirty and messy because she is completely incapable of cleaning. i remember coming home from school to a disgusting, filthy house, dirty dishes in the sink, and having to clean instead of doing homework. many times i did not even clean due to my own exhaustion and mental health issues, so the house would just get worse.

my dad, who works a full time job and earns all the money does more housework and takes better care of us than my unemployed mom.

my mom definitely has some sort of depression and issues but she also is just a completely incompetent parent. she goes through phases where she does more work occasionally, but the most she’ll do in a day is make lunch and do the dishes. she’s also very capable of doing things, but almost acts like she is disabled, which she very much is not.

in the past, she would tell me and my 3 siblings (at the time, we were between 8-16 years old) that she wasn’t our mom anymore and to stop calling her mom. this was over a stupid disagreement and it lasted about 3 weeks of her acting like we were strangers.

she is making me depressed. she watches tv all day while everyone else is at work or school. i’m so sick of living in a dirty rotting house. she doesn’t even feel bad because she doesn’t see cleaning as her responsibility. we are all older now (14-22) but it’s still so hard to live with her.

i am in college now and i commute. she still finds excuses whenever she can to not drop my siblings to school, so i end up doing it. she gets “sick” very often. i also often drop my brother to his football games. she has probably attended one single game of his (against her will, of course). she barely even leaves the house to buy groceries. a few weeks ago i got home at after a long day at college and she was asking me to buy groceries at 9 pm, instead of doing it herself (she had been home all day as usual).

she still cares about us in other ways but when it comes to being a mom she says she’s “given up” — even though she never even had a good reason to, she just got tired of being a mom. she should never have had kids if she didn’t want to act like an adult. she is in therapy and has been for quite a while but she never improves, because she just finds therapists who validate her feelings. she doesn’t feel bad about not acting like a mom. she is also extremely sensitive and lashes out if any of us address her behavior. it hasn’t always been this bad but it’s been getting worse for the past 3 years. my dad is also scared of addressing anything.

seeing her be so incompetent and pathetic makes me sick. i still care about her but i can’t put up with her being so selfish and lazy. recently, i have been really struggling with my mental health and very often fail to clean, let alone leave my room. i feel like i am becoming her and it makes me really disgusted.

my house feels like a depressing dump and i can’t move out. my mental health has gotten very bad since starting college. i don’t really want to because i would feel so much guilt. my parents (dad) fully financially supports me and encourages me to live at home to save money, so it wouldn’t make sense to move out. i feel like the situation isn’t bad enough to warrant moving out but it’s taking a toll on me. i would also feel bad for leaving my siblings at home. i don’t really know what to do, all i know if that i can’t keep living like this or i’ll become just like her.

This is a little bit of a different post but I was wondering what your favorite “ugly” girl characters are.

There definitely isn’t a lot of unconventionally attractive/weird/ugly representation, ESPECIALLY for female characters, but I want to watch more media that centers unattractive or even average women. We don’t get any representation, and on the rare occasion that we do, the character is reduced to a harmful stereotype or comedic relief, never the main character.

Off the top of my head, I can only think of dinner in America and the britbox show, the other bennett sister, which I’m currently watching.

I would love to hear your recommendations!

my sister is clearly more attractive than i am and we took a photo today. i looked very bloated and disproportionate. she looked very pretty and balanced.

at dinner, she was looking at the picture and decided to say “i feel like my features are too big for my face, your features are so proportional to your face”

i wanted to LAUGH so bad.

that couldn’t be further from the truth. anyone with eyes could see that..

i told her that she looked great and then i straight up said she was fishing for compliments because it really pissed me off.

is it not enough that you already look better? why do you need to paint yourself as the ugly one when i’m right here.. i can understand being insecure but doing it at the expense of people who aren’t as beautiful as you is just mean…. 😒

what do you guys do in these situations?

Hi, I’m currently an undergrad psych (BA) major who is also interested in design (considering double majoring in design BA).

I enjoy learning about human behavior as well as designing things/creating visuals. I took a cognitive psychology class and a few design thinking classes that I really enjoyed last semester. Also, I am not the biggest math/science person so I unfortunately can’t do anything super technical or too numbers heavy like CS/data science.

Initially, I wanted to go into UX/UI but I have been seeing a lot of people say that it isn’t stable, is over saturated and is likely going to be taken over by AI. It’s still my top choice but everything I’ve been hearing about it has been quite demotivating.

I am honestly just looking for decent income (>80K) and stability/safety from AI (aren’t we all).

Some related fields I have been exploring are UX research, I/O psychology, product design, and consumer insights/market research. If all else fails I might get my masters degree and become a therapist.

Does anyone know if these are good careers for the future? Or, does anyone know of any related careers with similar skills?

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

Hi, I’m currently an undergrad psych (BA) major who is also interested in design (considering double majoring in design BA).

I enjoy learning about human behavior as well as designing things/creating visuals. I took a cognitive psychology class and a few design thinking classes that I really enjoyed last semester. Also, I am not the biggest math/science person so I unfortunately can’t do anything super technical or too numbers heavy like CS/data science.

Initially, I wanted to go into UX/UI but I have been seeing a lot of people say that it isn’t stable, is over saturated and is likely going to be taken over by AI. It’s still my top choice but everything I’ve been hearing about it has been quite demotivating.

I am honestly just looking for decent income (>80K) and stability/safety from AI (aren’t we all).

Some related fields I have been exploring are UX research, I/O psychology, product design, and consumer insights/market research. Does anyone know if these are good careers for the future? Or, does anyone know of any related careers with similar skills?

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

Hi, I’m currently an undergrad psych (BA) major who is also interested in design (considering double majoring in design BA).

I enjoy learning about human behavior as well as designing things/creating visuals. I took a cognitive psychology class and a few design thinking classes that I really enjoyed last semester. Also, I am not the biggest math/science person so I unfortunately can’t do anything super technical or too numbers heavy like CS/data science.

Initially, I wanted to go into UX/UI but I have been seeing a lot of people say that it isn’t stable, is over saturated and is likely going to be taken over by AI. It’s still my top choice but everything I’ve been hearing about it has been quite demotivating.

I am honestly just looking for decent income (>80K) and stability/safety from AI (aren’t we all).

Some related fields I have been exploring are UX research, I/O psychology, product design, and consumer insights/market research. Does anyone know if these are good careers for the future? Or, does anyone know of any related careers with similar skills?

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

I’m currently an undergrad psych (BA) major who is also interested in design (considering double majoring in design BA).

I enjoy learning about human behavior as well as designing things/creating visuals. I took a cognitive psychology class and a few design thinking classes that I really enjoyed last semester. Also, I am not the biggest math/science person so I unfortunately can’t do anything super technical or too numbers heavy like CS/data science.

Initially, I wanted to go into UX/UI but I have been seeing a lot of people say that it isn’t stable, is over saturated and is likely going to be taken over by AI.

I am honestly just looking for decent income (>80K) and stability/safety from AI (aren’t we all).

Some related fields I have been exploring are UX research, I/O psychology, product design, and consumer insights/market research. Does anyone know if these are good careers for the future? Or, does anyone know of any related careers with similar skills?

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

HI, I’m currently an undergrad psych (BA) major who is also interested in design (considering double majoring in design BA).

I enjoy learning about human behavior as well as designing things/creating visuals. I took a cognitive psychology class and a few design thinking classes that I really enjoyed last semester. Also, I am not the biggest math/science person so I unfortunately can’t do anything super technical or too numbers heavy like CS/data science.

Initially, I wanted to go into UX/UI but I have been seeing a lot of people say that it isn’t stable, is over saturated and is likely going to be taken over by AI.

I am honestly just looking for decent income (>80K) and stability/safety from AI (aren’t we all).

Some related fields I have been exploring are UX research, I/O psychology, product design, and consumer insights/market research. Does anyone know if these are good careers for the future? Or, does anyone know of any related careers with similar skills?

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

HI, I’m currently an undergrad psych (BA) major who is also interested in design (considering double majoring in design BA).

I enjoy learning about human behavior as well as designing things/creating visuals. I took a cognitive psychology class and a few design thinking classes that I really enjoyed last semester. Also, I am not the biggest math/science person so I unfortunately can’t do anything super technical or too numbers heavy like CS/data science.

Initially, I wanted to go into UX/UI but I have been seeing a lot of people say that it isn’t stable, is over saturated and is likely going to be taken over by AI.

I am honestly just looking for decent income (>80K) and stability/safety from AI (aren’t we all).

Some related fields I have been exploring are UX research, I/O psychology, product design, and consumer insights/market research. Does anyone know if these are good careers for the future? Or, does anyone know of any related careers with similar skills?

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

i would like to preface this by saying that i am NOT su*cidal and would never actually do any of the things i’m about to describe.

i have realized that i am able to fulfill my desire to SH by imagining myself bleeding out after committing the act. i have never physically SH’d or had the desire to until a recent depressive episode.

i guess i have a strong imagination/ability to picture things in my head, so even just the image of myself doing those things is weirdly enough. i only do this at my absolute worst, when i feel like life isn’t even worth living anymore. i’m glad to say that i’m in a better place now.

anyways, i was just wondering if anyone relates or if there’s a term for this. maybe it might be helpful to anyone trying to overcome their SH problem.

also, i am not endorsing or recommending this behavior by any means, just wanted to share.

i am specifically talking about women who base their entire personality on hating men. these people cannot go a minute without bringing up men, it’s exhausting.

as someone who considers themselves a feminist, we need to stop doing this. i know it may feel nice and empowering to pour so much of yourself into hating men but it is counterproductive and harmful.

i am ALL for pointing out the problems created by men and the patriarchy. men are responsible for so much suffering and oppression across the world, but centering men in everything you do is the wrong approach.

also, i am not part of the “not all men” crowd, i believe that wording is detrimental and diverts accountability.