u/Apprehensive_Oil6961

This sounds horrible because it is, a few weeks ago I got a puppy terrier and he’s amazing but I just don’t feel anything for him. I have another dog which I consider my soul dog and I’ll have to rehome him because he’s a very high energy breed and because of my lifestyle it’s not possible to take care of him the way he heeds. The reason I even have this dog is because my grandma saw how horrible I felt and she thought that giving me a puppy would make me feel better but all I feel now is guilt. I feel horrible that I can’t keep my dog I love him so much and I really wish I would be able to be a good owner for him, on the other hand I feel guilty for this puppy too because he didn’t do anything I don’t know why I don’t feel anything. I keep trying to make myself feel something for him but I don’t. I just want to keep my baby, that’s all that I’m thinking about

I still get a lot of urges to watch it time and time but over all I think it’s going well, I’m pretty proud of myself honestly. There’s another part of my brain saying that it’s fine I should watch it everybody does and that it’s no big deal but I really don’t want to give in. Whoever is reading this you can do it and quit before it gets worse. For me whenever I get urges I make myself do something to forget about it and I also downloaded an app that shows how long I’ve been off it and it’s been helping. There’s no better time to stop than right now, you can do it too.

So I’m actually really annoyed and I’m not gonna really talk about my age or any of that sort but basically right now I’m in a situation where my mom doesn’t have a job. And she hasn’t had a job for the past two years and now I am the one who pays rent who pays for food who pays for a lot of things, she also helps a little bit. Maybe she helps like 30% with all the expenses but that’s it. And to be honest, I’m quite sick of being the one who pays for food and rent. Especially because I don’t feel like I should be the one who does these things at my age and whenever I try to talk to her about these things she tells me that she’s just in burnout and she needs more time to heal and that she doesn’t want to have a real job which I do understand I get it but don’t tell me that you’ll do that when we both know you won’t. Every time I bring up the fact that I don’t wanna be the one who pays for these things, especially because the money is from my dad and I want to save my money. She tells me how that money is basically for her and for her to pay for my expenses and she just did the big sacrifice for me to have it so I can become mature. Which is completely false because I talked to my dad and he told me clearly that he does not want me to pay for things such as rent or food because that money is you know money that I should be saving for things that I want to buy but when I told her this she said that my dad just wants to see her suffer. Today I told my mom specifically that if we are to move to another city because we’ve been talking about this for quite a while I told her that I want her to pay at least half of the rent because I don’t wanna keep doing this especially cause I already have a lot of things going on in my life I have a lot of things that I need to buy and to be honest I don’t wanna keep having to buy things that she should be the one buying like yes I can agree that she also makes like 30% of the money for our rent but if I’m honest that is not enough. Why do I have to worry and pay for all these things and it’s like she’s quite literally living for free. It’s not that I don’t acknowledge that she also tried but it’s like I don’t understand why she acts so immature, every single time I tell her this she just tells me how I don’t understand her, how I don’t get her and how she needs more time to which I told her “look I gave you two years which is a lot of time and I don’t see anything changing, im glad that you’re doing what brings you joy but realistically selling painting is not a solid income and you need to acknowledge how your actions hurt other people around you” then she told me the same thing that I don’t understand her and I’m just criticising her. I don’t know what to do I can’t just not let this bother me because it’s real life I need to think of something to do and a lot of advice. At the same time I can’t talk to my dad about this, he has times when he drinks a lot so living with him it’s not possible. There are also a lot of things that I’m hiding from him that he wouldn’t be okay with and the reason I had to was again because of my mom. Whenever we have these conversations she keeps telling me how there was a time when she was the one buying all of these things without my dads help and I get it but how’s that supposed to make the situation better, I can’t appreciate you for things that you did if right now it seems like you don’t care. Please anybody give me some advice.

So I’m actually really annoyed and I’m not gonna really talk about my age or any of that sort but basically right now I’m in a situation where my mom doesn’t have a job. And she hasn’t had a job for the past two years and now I am the one who pays rent who pays for food who pays for a lot of things, she also helps a little bit. Maybe she helps like 30% with all the expenses but that’s it. And to be honest, I’m quite sick of being the one who pays for food and rent. Especially because I don’t feel like I should be the one who does these things at my age and whenever I try to talk to her about these things she tells me that she’s just in burnout and she needs more time to heal and that she doesn’t want to have a real job which I do understand I get it but don’t tell me that you’ll do that when we both know you won’t. Every time I bring up the fact that I don’t wanna be the one who pays for these things, especially because the money is from my dad and I want to save my money. She tells me how that money is basically for her and for her to pay for my expenses and she just did the big sacrifice for me to have it so I can become mature. Which is completely false because I talked to my dad and he told me clearly that he does not want me to pay for things such as rent or food because that money is you know money that I should be saving for things that I want to buy but when I told her this she said that my dad just wants to see her suffer. Today I told my mom specifically that if we are to move to another city because we’ve been talking about this for quite a while I told her that I want her to pay at least half of the rent because I don’t wanna keep doing this especially cause I already have a lot of things going on in my life I have a lot of things that I need to buy and to be honest I don’t wanna keep having to buy things that she should be the one buying like yes I can agree that she also makes like 30% of the money for our rent but if I’m honest that is not enough. Why do I have to worry and pay for all these things and it’s like she’s quite literally living for free. It’s not that I don’t acknowledge that she also tried but it’s like I don’t understand why she acts so immature, every single time I tell her this she just tells me how I don’t understand her, how I don’t get her and how she needs more time to which I told her “look I gave you two years which is a lot of time and I don’t see anything changing, im glad that you’re doing what brings you joy but realistically selling painting is not a solid income and you need to acknowledge how your actions hurt other people around you” then she told me the same thing that I don’t understand her and I’m just criticising her. At the same time I can’t talk to my dad about this, he has times when he drinks a lot so living with him it’s not possible. There are also a lot of things that I’m hiding from him that he wouldn’t be okay with and the reason I had to was again because of my mom. Whenever we have these conversations she keeps telling me how there was a time when she was the one buying all of these things without my dads help and I get it but how’s that supposed to make the situation better, I can’t appreciate you for things that you did if right now it seems like you don’t care. If anybody could give me any sort o

Me and my girlfriend have been together for around a year by now, we had ups and downs but recently she started distancing herself from me. Barely texting or anything and at the same time I haven’t been reaching out to her because I’m sick that I’m always the one reaching out in these situations. I understand that she’s going through a lot right now but I seriously feel like I’m the only one trying to make this relationship work, she sounds neutral or disinterested whenever I talk about something that’s happening in my life and I talked to her about it, still nothing changed. I’m not going to reach out to her anymore because it’s not specifically about this situation but it’s because this has been happening for two months then she apologises and acts awesome for 1-2 weeks and then again problems come. I can’t always be the one trying to make this relationship work over and over again without her trying as well. Even if i understand what she’s going through It doesn’t mean that I should accept her behaviour or actions when she’s fully aware of the impact that they have. I’m just really frustrated to be honest because I don’t want to be the one who tries to keep everything together anymore. I feel like this sounds wrong but for the past few weeks I feel like I became really neutral towards this relationship as time went on because I keep feeling like I’m giving and giving. On top of all she doesn’t communicate to me at all, and something that really bothered me is that she brought up a situation from months ago and told me the other end of it that I did not know of, which bothered me because that bit would have changed my reaction and the way I acted. But instead of telling me she kept it in herself and from there on acted as if she was doing all the work in the relationship and I felt blamed for everything even though I just acted based on what she told me. I’m not doubting that I messed up many times as well and I’m definitely not perfect but at the same time I just don’t want to be in this loop anymore. We had this issue with communicating from the beginning and still nothing has changed, and whenever I bring that up she says that “we” aren’t good at communicating and we need to work on it which rubs me the wrong way because from my point of view I’ve always talked to her when something was wrong. I understand that it can be hard for her to communicate but how come after a year you still can’t communicate. At the same time I can’t lie and say that she has never ever initiated these types of conversations cause she has but I feel like it mainly my “job” to do so. I feel like I have so much frustration in me from this relationship and I’m just so scared of being in the wrong. Is the way I’m feeling valid?

Me and my girlfriend have been together for around a year by now, we had ups and downs but recently she started distancing herself from me. Barely texting or anything and at the same time I haven’t been reaching out to her because I’m sick that I’m always the one reaching out in these situations. I understand that she’s going through a lot right now but I seriously feel like I’m the only one trying to make this relationship work, she sounds neutral or disinterested whenever I talk about something that’s happening in my life and I talked to her about it, still nothing changed. I’m not going to reach out to her anymore because it’s not specifically about this situation but it’s because this has been happening for two months then she apologises and acts awesome for 1-2 weeks and then again problems come. I can’t always be the one trying to make this relationship work over and over again without her trying as well. Even if i understand what she’s going through It doesn’t mean that I should accept her behaviour or actions when she’s fully aware of the impact that they have. I’m just really frustrated to be honest because I don’t want to be the one who tries to keep everything together anymore. I feel like this sounds wrong but for the past few weeks I feel like I became really neutral towards this relationship as time went on because I keep feeling like I’m giving and giving. On top of all she doesn’t communicate to me at all, and something that really bothered me is that she brought up a situation from months ago and told me the other end of it that I did not know of, which bothered me because that bit would have changed my reaction and the way I acted. But instead of telling me she kept it in herself and from there on acted as if she was doing all the work in the relationship and I felt blamed for everything even though I just acted based on what she told me. I’m not doubting that I messed up many times as well and I’m definitely not perfect but at the same time I just don’t want to be in this loop anymore. We had this issue with communicating from the beginning and still nothing has changed, and whenever I bring that up she says that “we” aren’t good at communicating and we need to work on it which rubs me the wrong way because from my point of view I’ve always talked to her when something was wrong. I understand that it can be hard for her to communicate but how come after a year you still can’t communicate. At the same time I can’t lie and say that she has never ever initiated these types of conversations cause she has but I feel like it mainly my “job” to do so. I feel like I have so much frustration in me from this relationship and I’m just so scared of being in the wrong. Is the way I’m feeling valid?

I started disassociating a few months ago and it came for short periods of time but now it goes on for weeks. I feel constantly unreal and I feel like Im not fully in the present, if I go out I start dissociating and quite literally stop thinking, if I stay inside it’s a bit better but I still feel the same way, i genuinely can’t put effort into anything because of this, what should I do?