u/Aurora_Austral

i changed my gender, but people still assume my assigned one, is the only way to change is to delete my account? (u/Aurora_Austral)

sorry if my english is bad

there were some downvote on posts and comments i made, i always try to be the most kind, understandeable of what the person is trying to say, and explaining what i did (mostly on posts about art), using emojis or anything to sound more welcoming and kind, but i still get downvotes and i really want to do different

ive read the rules of each forum too, but I dont know if i misinterpreted anything

feel free to look at the comments and posts with 0 votes if you want to understand this better

thank you for reading!!!

im 18, transmasc, maybe agender but i want to transition first and then see if im comfortable being agender

also my native language isnt english so sorry about any mistake i did

i may have adhd and autism, im still waiting for a diagnosis, i take meds recommended by a psychiatrist for OCD and depression

i would feel conflicted staying alone for a week, at the same time that i dont feel the pressure to keep texting my friends and would have time to do all the things i wanna do and research about i would still feel a little lonely, but not that much

i tried learning about basketball, but after a while i realised no matter what i did the people on my team would still baby me, so i just gave up for now

i prefer indoors activities anyways, but its nice to do it with trusted people who will add to your knowing or just relax quietly together

i am curious about ANYTHING to the point i have a lot of ideas i cant excecute because of responsibilities and i get frustrated, my mind reflects my desires to analyse everything bc i have a room for everyone with a different vibe and i put information on that type of board of investigation on the center of it

i did try to take a leader role sometimes because i came up with an solution for people around me, but sometimes im too tired for that

i have a simple art style and cute-like(?), i usually use it to draw my ocs and things people ask me to (and put a little touch of me in it)

i dont like the past, the present nor the future, it gives me, respectively, disgust, despair, and fear

i like to help people and be useful while i make people happy with the result

i need logic in everything or else it wont be logic to continue like that

efficiency and productivity is very important, especially because im very harsh with myself when im doing things, it needs to be perfect

i like drawing because its therapeutic and i can show ppl ideas i had and playing project sekai, the only game i considered useful enough to continue playing bc it develops an hability

i learn by understanding its core and sumarising it in my head, i struggle with too many words and contradictory information, also places with too many noise

im good at strategizing and improvising, i try to break things into small tasks, but i usually have a hard time following and concentrating probably bc of adhd

i want to make indie series and study more about the human mind, it amazes me

i hate being what i think is adhd, it gets in the way of getting things done I CANT STOP THINKINGGGGGG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

the highs are energetic and peaceful somehow, i just relax from my perfeccionist worries and see life as a good thing

the lows are full of despair, self-doubt, escapism of reality, and self hatred, but i usually try to hide it from ppl

i daydream to the point i forget what is real and what is a scenario i created

if i was in a blank space with nothing to do and no one to talk about i would implode (maybe at the start would try to stay calm and get eaten up by my mind)

i dont take too long to make an important decision, i need to solve it the moment i notice it

i only agreed blindly to my ex because i was scared of losing the only one that truly loved and trusted me after trying to understand why he was saying the things he said only to then realise he loved an ideal version of me and i got disgusted for trusting him too much for things about me

also when im too tired to make useless decisions that makes more sense for another person to decide and be happy at the end

i prefer not breaking the rules i made in my head about my morals, i have a tribune in my head for that

i also wanna add that im too anxious because i entered a discord server about typology, the server got out of my list and im starting to think maybe thats because i said something dumb and i cant get it out of my head i just wanna explodewbqkwbaibnnffj