u/BetRare918

My boyfriend and I are discussing porn. In the past month/month and a half he has watched porn twice. There was one time I watched a video on YouTube and a shirtless man was on it and I was tempted. I was telling my boyfriend we should commit to a period of months where we don’t watch anything pornographic before we marry. He said it was unrealistic and it could take years before that happened. I think we should commit to watching it as little as possible. What are your thoughts?

My boyfriend and I are discussing porn. In the past month/month and a half he has watched porn twice. There was one time I watched a video on YouTube and a shirtless man was on it and I was tempted. I was telling my boyfriend we should commit to a period of months where we don’t watch anything pornographic before we marry. He said it was unrealistic and it could take years before that happened. I think we should commit to watching it as little as possible. What are your thoughts?

I have been dating my current boyfriend for 6 months this (4 months official). We both love each other very much and desire to marry each other. With that being said, I am starting to have some concerns but don’t know if I am being picky or sensitive. A few weeks ago my boyfriend was making some comments to me during pr church sermon and there was a couple in front of us. The wife whispered and asked us if we could be quiet. I did not blame her at all cause talking during a church service is rude in general. A few days ago, the husband talked to my boyfriend and apologized on behalf of his wife for the way she talked to us (I honestly didn’t think she was rude). Later on my boyfriend said he would work to be quieter and apologized for talking but said he doesn’t think the husband should apologize but the wife instead because she is the one who said. The husband disagreed and said they discussed it and they are one so his apology should suffice. I talked about it with my boyfriend and said the whole ordeal really isn’t a big deal and we should just be peaceful. He said he doesn’t trust the couple and won’t be friends with the husband. He even asked if we have to invite them to the wedding.

Another thing is his gaming habits. He is very into Dungeons and Dragons. He playing it at least every other Sunday after church and sometimes he rushes after church to meet his group. I always like to stay for a bit and hang out with people. Sometimes when I have scheduled something on a Sunday and asks if he wants to come he says he has to check with his group. This bothers me cause sometimes it’s not a for sure to meet up with his group but he seems to really prioritize it over plans with me downtimes.I had asked him to go to this Sabbath dinner on a Sunday and he had said yes. When I talked to him on the phone he said his DnD group was meeting and he had thought of convincing me to. go with him instead of the Sabbath dinner. Even when I had already RSVPed to the Sabbath dinner.He also has two other virtual DnD groups he goes to each week for 3 hours. In my opinion he spends more time with his gaming groups than people at church. The past few times we have talked on the phone he will often play video games while we talk.

He also seems to be okay or open to changing commitments. A few months ago we were both invited to a wedding from a couple at church and he asked what if he couldn’t go cause one of his coworkers a needed him. I said if it was an emergency that this was fine but in general we should honor our commitments and we should try to especially with a wedding cause the couple is paying for the good of the guests. Then he will also make jokes about being open to try different churches from his old denomination even though we have both agreed to go to my original church. One time my church prayed for another church of the same denomination in a city where my boyfriend is living right now (30 miles away). He was joking later on that we could go to that church if we ever decided our current church was too far and we lived near where he lived. Which by the way he is very gung-ho about living in his hometown even though it is a city where there are gangs and is not the safest and is far from everything in general.

Also: he used to send me a lot of Scripture at the beginning of our relationship. For the past few months he has slacked. I will also say, he seems to game more than reading scripture and he said in marriage he will need my help to help him read Scripture. When he does read Scripture he reads the New Testament over the Old Testament. He has told me he has not read a ton of the Old Testament though he has been saved over 7 years.

Also he seems to favor public school because in his eyes it is free. I don’t want to send my kids to public school cause of all the stuff going on in recent years. He said we can’t hide them from the real world. He is open to private school but says I will have to work full time if we send our kids there (I want to stay home with the kids). He is very opposed to homeschooling because in his view homeschooling makes kids socially awkward.

We also went to a hockey game a few months ago and he had this metal wallet chain. They didn’t want metal in the arena and one of the security ladies was sassy and said she would throw the chain away. He was definitely upset about this. The next day he said he acted sinfully but said he didn’t want to go back to that arena for a long time. I can understand being frustrated but to say you won’t go back because of that one thing is pushing it a little far. I guess I just fear I might make him really mad over something little.

I don’t know if I am being too picky or high maintenance. I do love him and feel called to be with him. I am just wondering if we’d need to slow down a bit and date a little longer before taking things to next level (engagement). I just feel conflicted cause I already picked out a ring and he has talked to someone in our church who takes pictures about getting proposal pics. Advice?

I have been dating my current boyfriend for 6 months this (4 months official). We both love each other very much and desire to marry each other. With that being said, I am starting to have some concerns but don’t know if I am being picky or sensitive. A few weeks ago my boyfriend was making some comments to me during pr church sermon and there was a couple in front of us. The wife whispered and asked us if we could be quiet. I did not blame her at all cause talking during a church service is rude in general. A few days ago, the husband talked to my boyfriend and apologized on behalf of his wife for the way she talked to us (I honestly didn’t think she was rude). Later on my boyfriend said he would work to be quieter and apologized for talking but said he doesn’t think the husband should apologize but the wife instead because she is the one who said. The husband disagreed and said they discussed it and they are one so his apology should suffice. I talked about it with my boyfriend and said the whole ordeal really isn’t a big deal and we should just be peaceful. He said he doesn’t trust the couple and won’t be friends with the husband. He even asked if we have to invite them to the wedding.

Another thing is his gaming habits. He is very into Dungeons and Dragons. He playing it at least every other Sunday after church and sometimes he rushes after church to meet his group. I always like to stay for a bit and hang out with people. Sometimes when I have scheduled something on a Sunday and asks if he wants to come he says he has to check with his group. This bothers me cause sometimes it’s not a for sure to meet up with his group but he seems to really prioritize it over plans with me downtimes.I had asked him to go to this Sabbath dinner on a Sunday and he had said yes. When I talked to him on the phone he said his DnD group was meeting and he had thought of convincing me to. go with him instead of the Sabbath dinner. Even when I had already RSVPed to the Sabbath dinner.He also has two other virtual DnD groups he goes to each week for 3 hours. In my opinion he spends more time with his gaming groups than people at church. The past few times we have talked on the phone he will often play video games while we talk.

He also seems to be okay or open to changing commitments. A few months ago we were both invited to a wedding from a couple at church and he asked what if he couldn’t go cause one of his coworkers a needed him. I said if it was an emergency that this was fine but in general we should honor our commitments and we should try to especially with a wedding cause the couple is paying for the good of the guests. Then he will also make jokes about being open to try different churches from his old denomination even though we have both agreed to go to my original church. One time my church prayed for another church of the same denomination in a city where my boyfriend is living right now (30 miles away). He was joking later on that we could go to that church if we ever decided our current church was too far and we lived near where he lived. Which by the way he is very gung-ho about living in his hometown even though it is a city where there are gangs and is not the safest and is far from everything in general.

Also: he used to send me a lot of Scripture at the beginning of our relationship. For the past few months he has slacked. I will also say, he seems to game more than reading scripture and he said in marriage he will need my help to help him read Scripture. When he does read Scripture he reads the New Testament over the Old Testament. He has told me he has not read a ton of the Old Testament though he has been saved over 7 years.

Also he seems to favor public school because in his eyes it is free. I don’t want to send my kids to public school cause of all the stuff going on in recent years. He said we can’t hide them from the real world. He is open to private school but says I will have to work full time if we send our kids there (I want to stay home with the kids). He is very opposed to homeschooling because in his view homeschooling makes kids socially awkward.

We also went to a hockey game a few months ago and he had this metal wallet chain. They didn’t want metal in the arena and one of the security ladies was sassy and said she would throw the chain away. He was definitely upset about this. The next day he said he acted sinfully but said he didn’t want to go back to that arena for a long time. I can understand being frustrated but to say you won’t go back because of that one thing is pushing it a little far. I guess I just fear I might make him really mad over something little.

I don’t know if I am being too picky or high maintenance. I do love him and feel called to be with him. I am just wondering if we’d need to slow down a bit and date a little longer before taking things to next level (engagement). I just feel conflicted cause I already picked out a ring and he has talked to someone in our church who takes pictures about getting proposal pics. Advice?

I have been dating my boyfriend for nearly 6 months. He has a Dungeons and Dragons group he meets with from work at least twice a month for 5-6 hours. He also has two other DnD groups on Discord that he plays with twice a week. Each Discord group lasts at least 3 hours. Also we talk on the phone at least once a week and the last few times we have talked he has played video games on the phone call. During our last phone call he has played two different video games. I am starting to think he might have an unhealthy level of gaming but maybe I am wrong. What are your thoughts?