u/BigTuna0890

I (M, 36) posted a couple of months ago that I was leaving for military training and my wife (F, 33) of seven years shared she no longer felt attracted to me and no longer wanted intimacy.

Yesterday she called and shared she was filing for divorce a week before my graduation and before I see her and our children.

I cannot express the anger, hurt, and sadness I have been feeling. I have desperately over the phone tried to fix things to no avail. Last weekend, I told her I loved her and she hung up. In another call I said “I miss you” and she responded “mmmhmmm”.

I have sought support with family and chaplain here. It’s devastating to know I am beginning a new chapter and my wife has just checked out.

I (M, 36) posted a couple of months ago that I was leaving for military training and my wife (F, 33) of seven years shared she no longer felt attracted to me and no longer wanted intimacy.

This morning she called and shared she was filing for divorce a week before my graduation and before I see her and our children.

I cannot express the anger, hurt, and sadness I have been feeling. I have desperately over the phone tried to fix things to no avail. Last weekend, I told her I loved her and she hung up. In another call I said “I miss you” and she responded “mmmhmmm”.

I have sought support with family and chaplain here. It’s devastating to know I am beginning a new chapter and my wife has just checked out.

I (M, 36) posted a couple of months ago that I was leaving for military training and my wife (F, 33) of seven years shared she no longer felt attracted to me and no longer wanted intimacy.

This morning she called and shared she was filing for divorce a week before my graduation and before I see her and our children.

I cannot express the anger, hurt, and sadness I have been feeling. I have desperately over the phone tried to fix things to no avail. Last weekend, I told her I loved her and she hung up. In another call I said “I miss you” and she responded “mmmhmmm”.

I have sought support with family and chaplain here. It’s devastating to know I am beginning a new chapter and my wife has just checked out.

My (35, M) wife (33, F) of seven years had told me a month ago in the midst of a stressful move that she no longer felt attracted to me and the spark was gone in our marriage. She said had been feeling this for three years since our youngest son was born.

I thought once things calmed down from the move she might feel better, but the disconnection had become more clear. Irritability and impatience had shown up more. She had refused to kiss me since including tonight which is both my last night with my family and an early birthday celebration for me. Hugs are only on the side. Hand holding is just less than five minutes before she lets go. Even our texting is weird as affectionate messages are gone and even my contact name changed from “my handsome hubby” to my name and her wallpaper is just our children (6 and 3).

I hope I am not overreacting to this as well but she took her ring off yesterday and had not put it back on because she was “cleaning them.”

I feel like failed her as a husband. I should have tried harder to get us into counseling sooner and now she refuses to go altogether. I should have stood up for myself more. I should have displayed strength in many areas, including how people treated me. I should have more intentional about many things and showed more initiative.

I hope this two month time away from each other will improve things, especially being the man she needs me to be, but if it doesn’t, what can be done?

I will not resort to the “d word” because I love my wife and want us to be close again, I have seen how it affects children including members of my family, and I hold a chaplain role and it would hold negative career ramifications if it went this route.

She is my best friend and hate how a chasm is between us and only one of us is wanting to narrow the divide.

My (35, M) wife (33, F) of seven years had told me a month ago in the midst of a stressful move that she no longer felt attracted to me and the spark was gone in our marriage. She said had been feeling this for three years since our youngest son was born.

I thought once things calmed down from the move she might feel better, but the disconnection had become more clear. Irritability and impatience had shown up more. She had refused to kiss me since including tonight which is both my last night with my family and an early birthday celebration for me. Hugs are only on the side. Hand holding is just less than five minutes before she lets go. Even our texting is weird as affectionate messages are gone and even my contact name changed from “my handsome hubby” to my name and her wallpaper is just our children (6 and 3).

I hope I am not overreacting to this as well but she took her ring off yesterday and had not put it back on because she was “cleaning them.”

I feel like failed her as a husband. I should have tried harder to get us into counseling sooner and now she refuses to go altogether. I should have stood up for myself more. I should have displayed strength in many areas, including how people treated me. I should have more intentional about many things and showed more initiative.

I hope this two month time away from each other will improve things, especially being the man she needs me to be, but if it doesn’t, what can be done?

I will not resort to the “d word” because I love my wife and want us to be close again, I have seen how it affects children including members of my family, and I hold a chaplain role and it would hold negative career ramifications if it went this route.

She is my best friend and hate how a chasm is between us and only one of us is wanting to narrow the divide.