u/BlackSparowSF

Quisiera hacer una réplica miniatura de un macuahuitl, y he visto cosas con obsidiana aquí en San Luis. ¿Alguien sabe dónde consegirlo?

I just saw a clip from Futurama, the one where Fry talks to his mom in her dreams. His whole life, Fry was underestimated and belittled, often picturing him as a failure or mediocre even though he was just 25.

But once he disappeared, his mom missed him, and his brother Yancy even carried on his legacy into space. Even 1000 years later, everyone still treats him more or less the same, but they always mourn whenever they think he's gone for good.

My situation is much like Fry's. I'm not 25 (halfway to be 30). I'm not as unskilled, though maybe yes as clumsy. But I feel as if everyone around me underestimated me and took me for granted. I have lots of skills and knowledge I willingly put to the service of others just because I like making their lives easier, but all I recieve are reprimands and sighs for whatever I'm not able to do. That makes me think, how would I be remembered if I suddenly disappeared?

Is it the grief and mourning what made that quote unquote "sorry excuse of a man" be remembered fondly and positively? Or is it that we don't value what we have until it's lost? Would I be remembered for the good I did, or would I be remembered for that which I couldn't do o did wrong? In the case I was remembered fondly, would that be the grief talking, or the contrast of my absence highlighting that which I used to do?

I like to think that, if I disappeared, many people would mourn my loss. But based on their current behaviors, a part of me fears they wouldn't, and that they would just move on and forget about me the way you lose a screwdriver, remember every time you need it until you get a new one, and then forget about it.

I know there's a pull tracker and other features that use your pull history, but the site doesn't have any instructions for Android to obtain the necessary files. Is there a way for me to use it?

Idk if I've claimed it yet. Would you kindly remind me where to get it?

You know how some girls will complain that guys just want them for their body? Well, I feel a similar thing, but with my mind. Yes, I'm smart. I'm not gonna beat around the bush.

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This intelligence comes as the consequence of a statistically unlikely frame of ADHD, highly functional grade 1 autism and high capacities (all diagnosed, btw). This results in me seeming just normal enough to be just a quirky guy. Luckily, I've had a good raising and have a high intrapersonal intelligence, which in turn makes me kind, me assertive and level-headed. Additionally, I've been a Scout since I was 11.

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However, this also means that I'm forgetful, disorganized and have the social skills of an alien pretending to be a human. My appearance doesn't help either. Overweight (that one's completely my fault), big, surprisingly strong and with a frowny face. People say to me they thought I was a rude jerk. My friends say I look invincible and that I've got it all figured out. And I get why they might think that.

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I'm a resourceful person. At a lack of social life, I've cultivated my mind and skills. I have the memory of an elephant (for some things), I can play an instrument, cook, bake, whittle wood, pick locks, sing, act, build things, work with electronics, and a very long list of et céteras . Aside from that, I'm reflective, and my life hasn't been all roses and carnations, so I'm wiser than most people my age.

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I like helping, putting those skills and knowledge at the use of the people around me. My love language is acts of service. If I appreciate you, I'll put myself at your disposition to improve your quality of life in any way I can. And even if I don't know you, I've sworn in my honor to do what I can to help others, unless you've personally affronted me.

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But I think that has backfired for me. Oftentimes, people only come to me when they need something. It's as if I don't exist until I'm needed. Then, suddenly everyone remembers me. Given, I dislike clubbing and all that stuff people my age do, but there's that and then there's being an afterthought.

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There's only one person on this planet who has ever sought me out simply because she likes hanging out with me. For that, she has my eternal gratitude and loyalty. But everyone else? They don't remember me even if I try staying in their line of sight.

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One clear example of this is gifts. I listen to my friends and their problems, and get things to make their lives easier. For instance, I got my friend an automatic embroidery needle because she bitterly complained about how painful embroidering by hand is. Now, what do I get as gifts? Candy. Every. Single. Damn. Time. Yes, the fat guy likes candies, let's give him more. And yes, I like them, but every time? It feels a little insulting, even if they don't realize it.

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This perfect concoction of disaster has resulted in something I'm not too proud about: a sexting habit. At a lack of anything resembling romantic or sexual contact, I've acquired the habit of going to r4r sexting communities. And what do I do? The same. I put my silver tongue and knowledge at the service of people who want to feel good, because I love it. And most just swing by, have fun and leave. And I know, that's sort of the idea, and I've accepted that it's practically hooking up, but even the people who do stay and want to know each other end up ghosting me for no reason.

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I wake up alone, and at the end of the day, when I lay in bed, I'm alone. My friends have enough issues to deal with to carry mine on top of that. My family's a handful of venomous snakes that can't be trusted with a secret, or to set their pride aside and provide reassurance. They are like vicious sharks, who swarm around you when they smell blood. So no support in that aspect either.

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Sometimes, I wonder if I'm doing anything wrong. And if I am, what would be the alternative? This is who I am, but it seems like my gifts are just a golden cage that keep me from being perceived as a person. I know this seems like such a first world problem, but it hurts so much. Knowing I can't rely on anyone, getting treated like a tool that sits on the box until it's needed. Knowing there's no one to hear me, to lend a shoulder, to take off my armor with.