u/BlueDeng02

I’m reading Licanus trilogy and the number of time Islington says someone is tapping their teeth while thinking makes me nuts! Have you ever tapped on your tooth?! It makes my skin crawl. Maybe tapping you lip or chin, but I’m just envisioning that clicking sound of nail on teeth and I hate it! Anyone else?! 😂

Not really a vent, but has the same therapeutic result - I just started with a fertility doctor and I feel SO relieved. It’s like a weight has come off my shoulders and I’ve handed it to her. It’s so nice to feel like someone else has the control and is creating and managing a real plan for me.

Since my MMC I’ve been all consumed by TTC. The months have gone by in a blur and I’ve always been thinking about how I can optimize my chances, what I’m doing wrong, what I should try next cycle, etc. It took me 2 months to get this appointment, and I when I initially made it I felt a little shameful - like I was jumping the gun, and hoped I wouldn’t need it. But I am SO glad I did make it, and I feel no shame getting to this point, just release.

I finally feel like I can just be. I know it won’t be easy, lots of tests, visits to drs, decisions to be made, etc. But listening to someone else vs trying to figure it out for myself will be mentally so much easier for me. I’m so tired, I WANT to be told what to do. I’m looking forward to it! 😅

Anyone else watch this distracted by how chill all the adults were about them drinking only to finally realize OH YA it’s Canada, drinking age is 18 😂.

Like Ellis dad inviting him to have beers on the dock, wine at Connor’s bday party in a restaurant, Denise drinking with the kids. I was like, I get being a chill parent, but this is just fundamentally unrealistic?? And then I remembered, 18 not 21 🤦🏼‍♀️😂.

Spoiler alert if you haven’t finished book 1 🚨

I just finished book 1, and wow what a ride. I’m so glad I started this series after getting hooked on Islington with Heirarchy.

So now that we know Caedan is Tal’kamaar and also Aarkin Davead, what are we supposed to glean from how the book started. I thought it was Tal’kamaar renouncing or fighting Davead, but I guess not?

For anyone who has experienced a loss, there’s a chapter in Maggie O’Farrell’s book I am, I am, I am that perfectly describes what it feels like to experience a miscarriage. Not physically, but emotionally. The grief of it all. The chapter is “Baby and Bloodstream” and even if you don’t want to read the book but you’re curious, listen to just that chapter as an audiobook. I want to tell everyone who can’t understand my pain but wants to to just listen to that chapter. She describes it so well 😔❤️.

Has anyone researched or tried this while TTC? My acupuncturist mentioned it to me, specifically in the context of dialing back my intense workouts when TTC, and I’m looking to learn more. I want to give it a shot this cycle, but am unclear on what phases of my cycle I should do this and other things I can do to balance it. Curious if anyone else has tried this?

We love when our strugglers move on and get a BFP, but we also recognize that for others pregnancy announcements can be really triggering. To create a space where we both celebrate and protect our members, all BFP and current pregnancy mentions are restricted to this dedicated weekly thread.

Did you get a BFP this week?! Let us know below. We’re so happy for you 🥹🫶.

Hi! How do I have my scheduled posts come from my mod account? Or ensure any mod activities don’t come from my personal? And can I do this from the phone app? My sub is r/strugglingttc

So I am struggling TTC post MMC and I feel very alone in my real life. Everyone around me is pregnant with zero effort and the only place I feel a sense of community is here on Reddit. Is it crazy and weird of me to suggest an IRL meetup? I just feel like getting together with the real people who make me feel most heard and understood and creating a real community would do wonders for my fledging mental health. I’m NYC based so if I organized something it’d be there but just curious if people would be interested. Of course in a public space like a park so everyone feels safe since this is the internet and all. I just feel like this would be so much easier for me if I had friends who got it and who could have wine with me on my BFN days and feel hopeful with me through my TWW.

Got my BFN today in the form of my period. I feel like such an idiot for having hope and testing for the last 3 days and still thinking there was a chance despite stark white blanks. I’m so tired of trying. I’m so tired of being sad. I did literally nothing to get pregnant initially (it happened on my second try) and now I’m trying everything under the sun and it won’t happen. Cycle 5 post MMC and I am SO SO sad. I would’ve had a baby in September and I can not believe I could enter September still not pregnant. I’m going to be 35 soon and I feel like time is just ticking away. I’m sorry for the rant but I feel so alone in my real life - everyone around me is pregnant with zero effort. All they say to me is “at least you know you can get pregnant “ and “don’t give up it’ll happen” but IM SO TIRED. I’m just so tired and so sad. I wish I could sever my brain and skip this part of my daily life. I don’t remember what it’s like to not pee in a cup every morning, or take my temp first thing, or have sex just for fun. I literally dream about ovulation and pregnancy tests. I want to give up and go back to life
before all of this but I know I can’t. Anyway, that’s my rant…sorry for the emo post. Today just sucks.

In January I found out I was pregnant, by end of Feb MMC, and a D&C a week later in early March. We have been TTC ever since, about to be on cycle 5, and I’m really struggling to stay hopeful.

The first time I got pregnant it was on our second try. We weren’t doing anything other than using cheap clear blue OPKs and happened to not be drinking that month because of dry Jan, but literally that was it. So I think I kind of thought it’d happen fast post MMC and it’s not and I feel so defeated.

I’m 34, husband 37, and I’m doing literally everything you can imagine to make it happen - Accupuncture, vitamins (my husband too), not drinking (husband too), bbt tracking, ovulation tracking with an Inito, pre seed, eating specific foods to help with fertility. I mean truly everything, and I’m exhausted. I also got my bloodwork done and all my numbers were not even just normal, but high and strong!

We’re going to start working with an RE in a few weeks. I just can’t believe how much time has passed - I would have had a baby in September and now I could possibly not even be pregnant by then. So I’m just wondering if anyone is or has been in a similar situation. Would love to hear stories (especially positive ones) and advice. Thanks in advance ❤️

For those who have been pregnant more than once - did you have symptoms during your TWW and were they the same each time?

I’ve only been pregnant once so far, and it ended in a loss. I distinctly remember feeling nausea in the middle of the night and crazy exhaustion towards the end of the TWW. Now, I can’t stop myself from symptom spotting every time comparing this experience to my previous one and only making it even harder for myself emotionally if I’m not feeling those symptoms.

I know each pregnancy is different so I shouldn’t put too much stock into the TWW symptoms, but I can’t help it. So would love to hear from those who can provide real life examples.

Thanks ❤️

I’m TTC and just had a pre conception consult due to a blood clotting gene I carry. Even though I only carry one of the genes, lovenox was recommended because my father carries both and had blood clots (that’s how we found it in our family). The doctor left it up to me but I feel like I have to do it when I’m pregnant because the risk of not is too much. I’m terrified though. I can’t look at injections when I get them done, and I totally freaked out the first time I had to do an ozempic pen. I got used to those and was fine, but this injection is a real needle, so I’m scared. I can’t imagine injecting myself every day of my pregnancy plus through postpartum. So just looking for advice from others who do it and were scared. What was it like? Any tips? How did you get used to it? It’s not the pain I fear it’s the process of the actual injection. Thanks in advance ❤️.

Like the title says, what do you think? Would you rather be surprised by your period, test early and get a negative, or track with Inito/BBT your whole cycle so the signs that it’s going to be a BFN slowly start to show?

I think back to the time pre fertility struggles when I first got pregnant and waited until my period was 3 days late to test. I had no anxiety. Now after my loss that’s very much not the case. Time exists in a series of CD and weeks, months pass in number of tries, and it feels like Groundhog Day with each BFN I get.

This cycle I’m taking a break from BBT and Inito post ovulation confirmation, but I’m debating if I should do an Inito test at like 10 DPO or just do an HCG right then. Idk which will hurt “less” if it’s a negative. I don’t let myself get my hopes up anymore. I think during the BD days I am hopeful and then after that I’m just anxious and preparing/expecting the worse. Anyway, curious what works for others.

To protect my peace post MMC I mostly avoid pregnant friends. I feel very conflicted about it because it makes me sad, feel guilty, feel icky etc. but I also get very panicked at the thought of being around them and immediately start tearing up. I have a dinner coming up with one of my best friends who is pregnant and I’m VERY anxious. She knows my situation and really wants to see me, but I’m so jealous and sad and afraid to see her. Especially because my other friend will be there and she’s kind of balancing celebrating one of us while being sensitive to the other. I’m going to push myself to go, if not just to rip the bandaid off but also to show myself I CAN do this. But it’s 6 hours away and I’m already starting to panic. I run scenarios in my head, start getting myself sad, fear I’ll cry at the table or shut down or want to leave. So I’m looking for advice and reassurance. I wish I could take a pill and just disassociate the whole time but I cant. Thanks in advance for any and all help. This really sucks. 😞❤️

On average, how many days of high fertility does Inito typically give you before your peak? The only time I got pregnant was the time I caught the day before my peak. This is my second time using Inito so the first time it’s showing me high readings. I’ve gotten 3 days so far, but I’m trying to wait until tomorrow to start trying because it’s not easy for my husband to do more than 3 days in a row. I’ve never peaked before CD 15 and tomorrow is CD 14, so I think I’m ok to wait until tomorrow, but I’m also scared of missing it. So that’s why I’m wondering how many days pre-peak do you usually see?

Update: mine was 3 days of high before my peak. Missed the day I was aiming for because I waited too long 🥲. Praying that getting peak and day post peak will be enough this cycle.

I had an MMC in February and a D&C in March and I’ve been TTC ever since. When I first got pregnant, all I did was test with cheap clearblue OPKs and it happened on my second try. Now, here’s the list of all the things I do:

- BBT tracking
- bought an Inito device (this was after I exhausted myself by cross referencing 3 different apps and two different brands of cheap OPKs)
- premom strips (so I can double or triple test on certain to catch my peak)
- weekly Accupuncture with a fertility specialist
- 2 Brazil nuts daily to help with pdg
- beet juice from DPO 10 onward to promote blood flow and implantation
- pre natal
- iron supplement
- coQ10 (make my husband take this too)
- off all social media except reddit because I can’t handle anymore pregnancy announcements or babies in my life and need to protect my mental health
- weekly therapy to cope with all of my emotions

It’s insane, I know. But I feel like all of you will understand. And if I can’t laugh about the level of insanity, I’ll cry, so here we are. I can’t remember what it’s like not to think about this 24/7 or pee in a cup every morning at this point 😅. So please tell me I’m not alone here ❤️❤️

(Also these aren’t medical recommendations, just things I do. Everyone should research and consult doctors and do what’s best for them and not use my list as any type of advice.)

I’ve just booked my first consult there with Dr Jenna Turocy. Appointments were hard to get, but I read great reviews about her. I’d love to know if anyone has had positive experiences at this clinic and/or with this doctor. For context, I had an MMC in February and have been struggling to get pregnant since. I don’t want to jump right into IVF, I’d like to start with testing for myself and my husband, but I also don’t want to waste any more time either - hence why I’m setting up an appointment now. Any insight or tips for starting this journey would be greatly appreciated ❤️.