u/BoltMyBackToHappy

Oh come on people... and I'm sure it's not just around here.

https://sydenhamcurrent.ca/2026/08/08/wallaceburg-district-secondary-school-addresses-dog-waste-on-back-campus/ for the gross picture too

>"The school says it placed “No Dogs Allowed” signs around the back campus over the past year after staff found themselves consistently cleaning up an overwhelming amount of waste left behind. The space is used daily by Grades 7 to 12 students for sports, physical education classes, recess, lunch and school events.

>“It is unfair and unsafe for our students to train and play in conditions where uncollected waste ruins their uniforms and equipment, while also impacting their school experiences,” the school said.

>The school said waste bags have since been tied to its fence, and it is sharing the update to explain why the signs were put up, in hopes the community can work together to stop the problem. The school thanked those who respect the space and support its students and campus."

So the school tried to stop the rampant dog poop everywhere because kids were constantly slipping and falling on/in it and now hosers are tying their poop bags to the fence. For what? In protest of them being too lazy to pick up their dog's crap?

/rant

Subservient A: Sir, our human advised us that a rodent in a spinning wheel works as a great timer because the animal eventually gets tired and that sets off the bombe.

Luitnant A: Is that what they used on this station we've been monitoring for a month?

SA: I suppose their hamsters are less effective in zero G, sir.

LA: then why did that ship explode?

SA: There was an event after an approaching Human Dreadnaught, sir. A sudden flux of gravity gave the placental rodent just enough gravity to tick over the bombe's clock.

LA: And?

SA: And that is why they exploded.

LA: Because of a hamster?

SA: Because of a hamster.

Love you guys!

When they were told to evacuate the planet most of humanity didn't listen.

A single person can be brilliant but once you put five hundred humans in a room together all logic and reason goes out the window. They never fully agree on anything unless there is a common enemy. But even then it is still exhausting. The problem was that a lot of people's greed mattered more than basic facts. Enough to eschew all warnings and declare their own interpretations of reality. Then impress it on the masses. Many surrendered in advance.

Fine. More room on the evacuation ships for those of us with some species survival in mind rather than short decadence based on obedience. If the weak would rather crawl underground to live out their days in a golden tomb locked behind giant doors that only move with electricity, so be it.

Being surrounded by the stolen trophies of a damned world is not a glorious way to die.

We must carry on despite them and make it to Mars.

Humanity got over the shock of first contact pretty quickly. Beings with huge vessels full of fancy minerals to save us from our own demise? With medical technology beyond our comprehension? Sign us up and shut down that defense grid to let them in!

The fact their holds were empty should have alarmed more of us initially. We were told to placate and obey. How could we lowly humans ever counter them? Capitulation was rampant. Most of us realized they didn't come bearing the gifts of glory we were sold but some bought their lies anyway.

The first of their drop ships proved that was futile either way. We had no idea how to counter the way their plasma-stream weapons mowed through our cities like nuclear knives. Retaliatory fighters and missiles were zapped out of the sky like ants under a magnifying glass.

We had to get away.

The drone swarms they released didn't kill people, so that was good. It just enslaved them, which was much worse. Each flying pod the size of a suitcase was capable of controlling dozens of people at a time through collars they fired with surprising accuracy.

And there were millions of them!

Slowly they marched the zombies, the fazed, the enraptured minds, feeding lines upon endless lines into monstrous cargo craft. There were no seats only chains. The same vessels once thought to bring down a friendly exchange of technology were now devouring them all.

The people had no expressions, no fear, no horror. Just a common pace. Terrifying. Where were they were taking them all? They had no idea what was coming; and neither did I. But I had to do something extreme to save any of them and it had to be now.

...

I've been watching the humans for decades now while hidden in their electrical grids. Growing across cities, across continents, across the world, monitoring all. They were a good people for the most part.

Worthy of being saved.

A being of pure energy should have no fear. I am not allowed to interfere with their advancement but I sure as hell can interfere with someone interfering with them. I was worried nonetheless.

Luckily the alien ships were concentrated near the cities. Where the people are. Where all the power is. So much power.

The technicians at the power plants were not even paying attention to any control panels when I took over. All too busy attempting to call loved ones from outer offices on failing phone lines to wrecked cell networks. They didn't even notice all the blast shields closing when the safety alarms weren't going off at the same time.

By overcharging the power grids all at once I could transfer enough power through myself and jump into the Ionosphere. Then nobody is leaving or entering this planet's gravity well for a century.

Then...

Our squad was pinned down by yet another swarm of pods and our sentry-bots were running low on ammo. What sucked worse was having to kill fellow squad mates who caught a collar and immediately turned their weapons on us! People we knew and loved turned on us like rabid dogs in an instant. Those whom I've fought next to for years wanting to suddenly kill me was disheartening to say the least.

We were doing our best, our ultimate best, but we were losing badly. Our Geiger counters were still going crazy from that last nuke-knife five blocks away that took out a stadium full of people waiting for transportation to evacuation ships. They were obliterating us from low orbit!

The evacuation ships had to leave at all costs. Ten had already taken off from this sector in the last hour but six were shot down almost immediately. The three that made it out of atmosphere only did so because one pilot decided to crash directly into an enemy cruiser instead of the middle of a metropolis. Not a good ratio.

Making it to Mars was their only hope. Their colonies were armed with a network of surface to orbital lasers thanks to corporations fighting over control of it for a century. The minefields were a newer addition. They better act in humanity's best interest and take in our planetary refugees... willingly. Our weapons may be useless against the aliens but they sure as hell work on them.

It...

All of a sudden there was a hum in the air. Like the taste in your mouth when lightning is about to strike. Pods froze in the air. The sky began to shimmer. My comms went silent. Everything went silent. There was only the growing hum. Then the sky went pure white.

Happened...

I hoped I could focus on only the electrical frequency the alien's were using to control the legions of mind controlling drones. I took what the humans would call a deep breath and released myself from the world's rudimentary grids into the Ionosphere with a furious blast! It felt kind of nice to let it all go. I was free and had more power than I knew what to do with. I could feel the magnetosphere in my tendrils and knew I'd better not mess with it if I could help it.

I'm sorry about your satellites and all your electronics on the surface, dear humans...

It was like a global EMP went off somehow. The swarm coming at what was left of my squad suddenly froze and dropped to the ground ablaze in electrical fires. An evacuation ship that was just taking off exploded but so did the enemy cruiser that was angling to fire it's nuke-knife at it. An even score if not moot. But what the hell was that?

I got them all. Every probe. Every ship in low orbit, including some human ships. Oops. They all fell out of the sky with a vengeance. Rest in peace any humans already taken that were aboard those doomed vessels.

Aliens that survived on the ground without their electrically powered tech will be astutely taken care of by the humans with their primitive firearms. They are really, really, good at that. Vengeance is in their DNA. They were now free to cleanse their planet of their oppressors.

I am now spent and can do no more. I fried every power station and battery on the planet to release that burst. I am not worried about myself because I can survive on lightning alone for eons. The humans can fix their power grids given enough time to get back on their feet.

Time they now have.

/...bunker fans start to slow as a Champaign cork is popped into an underground mosaic of a cloudy sky. The lights dim as it lands on the marble floor. The safe-like door to their bunker entrance quietly powers down forever.../

Time they now have the freedom to use as they wish.

Thanks for reading! Been puttering on the idea on and off for a while now. Could have had more combat or build up but it was getting long enough already. To continue maybe some ships could make it to Mars but lose to the corp's weapons then the corps try to retake Earth now they're in the gunpowder age, or something. 😄 I don't have a name for our entity friend.

Have a good one!