u/Budget-Barracuda-417

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year. Most of the time we’re really happy, laugh a lot, and he even says I’m low maintenance. But about once a month, I get triggered and spiral.

When I spiral, I sometimes blame him, push for reassurance, repeat the same concern, or say things about the future to make him worry/prove he cares. I usually realize I went too far, apologize, and take accountability. I just do this due to uncertainty or jealousy. I don’t check his phone, control who he talks to, insult him, isolate him, or threaten him. But he has said he sometimes feels like he walks on eggshells, which scares me.

I had two good months without doing this, then relapsed after a trigger. Does this sound emotionally abusive, or anxious attachment/protest behavior that I can change?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year. Most of the time we’re really happy, laugh a lot, and he even says I’m low maintenance. But about once a month, I get triggered and spiral.

When I spiral, I sometimes blame him, push for reassurance, repeat the same concern, or say things about the future to make him worry/prove he cares. I usually realize I went too far, apologize, and take accountability. I just do this due to uncertainty or jealousy. I don’t check his phone, control who he talks to, insult him, isolate him, or threaten him. But he has said he sometimes feels like he walks on eggshells, which scares me.

I had two good months without doing this, then relapsed after a trigger.

Title: Is my relationship doomed, or can this kind of anxious behavior actually change?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year. Most of the time, we’re genuinely happy, we laugh a lot, and he even says I’m low maintenance. But about once a month, I get triggered and spiral.

When I spiral, I sometimes blame him, push for reassurance, repeat the same concern, or say things about the future to make him worry/prove he cares. It usually comes from uncertainty or jealousy. I don’t check his phone, control who he talks to, insult him, isolate him, or threaten him, but he has said he sometimes feels like he walks on eggshells, which really scares me.

I had two good months where I didn’t do this, then I relapsed after a trigger. I usually realize I went too far, apologize, and try to take accountability.

Does this sound emotionally abusive, or more like anxious attachment/protest behavior that I can change? Is this relationship doomed, or can couples work through this if one person is genuinely trying to grow?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year. Most of the time we’re really happy, laugh a lot, and he even says I’m low maintenance. But about once a month, I get triggered and spiral.

When I spiral, I sometimes blame him, push for reassurance, repeat the same concern, or say things about the future to make him worry/prove he cares. I usually realize I went too far, apologize, and take accountability. I just do this due to uncertainty or jealousy. I don’t check his phone, control who he talks to, insult him, isolate him, or threaten him. But he has said he sometimes feels like he walks on eggshells, which scares me.

I had two good months without doing this, then relapsed after a trigger. Does this sound emotionally abusive, or anxious attachment/protest behavior that I can change?

which Studio Ghibli movie feels the most personal to you, and why?

Not necessarily your favorite one, but the one that reminds you of your own life, childhood, healing, loneliness, love, growing up, or a big change you went through.

For me, Ghibli movies always feel deeper than just cute animation. Sometimes they capture emotions I don’t know how to explain.

Which one feels like “your” Ghibli movie?

I’m in my mid-twenties and grew up with very strict, religious parents. Dating was always treated like something shameful. When I was 15, my dad got mad because my boyfriend kissed me on the cheek and posted it. Called me a hoe.

As an adult, if I make relationship choices they don’t agree with, they call me stupid, bring it up forever, and my dad has even called me names before. Because of that, I don’t feel emotionally safe being fully honest with them. When something bad happens my mom tells me it happens because I do bad things.

Recently, I lived with my boyfriend for a few months. I’m now staying with my parents for about a month before I move abroad, so I still need their help for a little bit. My mom asked if I had been living with him, and I lied and said no.

I feel guilty because I know lying isn’t good, but I also know the truth would probably turn into shame, lectures, and being treated differently.

Have any other women dealt with this? Do you tell the truth anyway, or do you keep some parts of your adult life private to protect your peace?

I’m asking out of curiousity. I meant different from their normal type

have you noticed you look very similiar or nothing like your partners exes?

How do you guys do it? Estimation of monthly spending? I am curious what program you guys are with

I am currently in the process of entering their classes. How is it after the training? Is it full time or part time roles? Remote or in-person?

any stories? break down of expenses

I keep hearing negative stuff let me hear positive ones only, what company, and best memory?

We were talking about it and he said anything above 10 is “high.” I told him mine isn’t high or crazy and that I don’t like talking about numbers.

My actual number is in the low teens (like 13–15). I didn’t give a fake number, but now I feel like maybe I misled him since his definition of “high” is different.

I’ve also brought it up a few times because I keep overthinking it.

Did I lie? Should I tell him or just leave it alone?

For years I’ve been stuck in this loop where my brain convinces me I have something seriously wrong with me like Borderline Personality Disorder or Schizophrenia.

It usually starts with a feeling or small trigger, then my mind goes: “What if this means something bigger?” From there I spiral replaying everything I’ve ever done, looking for proof, comparing myself to symptoms. It feels so real in the moment. Like I literally relate to all symptoms but everyone around me says no

But I’ve noticed something: the fear never actually gets resolved. Even if I feel better for a bit, it comes back as a new “what if.”

even my therapist kept saying I don’t have it but once I had a breakdown with this new therapist and she said ” you said yes to all the bpd symptoms you may have it“ on my first visit with her

For years I’ve been stuck in this loop where my brain convinces me I have something seriously wrong with me like Borderline Personality Disorder or Schizophrenia.

It usually starts with a feeling or small trigger, then my mind goes: “What if this means something bigger?” From there I spiral replaying everything I’ve ever done, looking for proof, comparing myself to symptoms. It feels so real in the moment. Like I literally relate to all symptoms but everyone around me says no

But I’ve noticed something: the fear never actually gets resolved. Even if I feel better for a bit, it comes back as a new “what if.”

even my therapist kept saying I don’t have it but once I had a breakdown with this new therapist and she said ” you said yes to all the bpd symptoms you may have it“ on my first visit with her

Does anyone else deal with this?

One of my friends in class is kind of competitive in a way that feels off. She’ll do things like make sure everyone knows how prepared she is or even ask the professor for more time on exams in front of everyone.

It’s not super direct, but it feels like she wants people to notice or compare. If I say something small but comes off mean she confronts me right away sit me down. she thinks about herself and the guy she likes before our friend group.

I can’t tell if I’m overthinking or if this is actually a red flag in a friendship. Thoughts?

I (25F) recently moved out of my apartment early and I’m living with my boyfriend now, but my family doesn’t know.

My dad is emotionally abusive, and my mom is nice but can’t keep a secret, so I don’t feel safe telling them the truth.

My mom asked me about my apartment and I panicked and said I still had it for 2 more months. I even kind of backed it up, so now it feels like I fully committed to the lie.

Now I feel anxious and guilty. I don’t want to keep lying, but I also don’t feel safe being honest. I’m scared if they find out later, it’ll be even worse. I have my car under their loan and I have to move in one month due to finance and my next lease starting. My mom keeps asking me the question

Am I wrong for keeping this private? Should I correct it or just leave it alone?