u/Character_Pack7300

Most guys just want one thing and it gets repetitive

I just got out of a almost 5 year relationship about a month ago it was on and off and just not good i deserved way better. But now that it’s over I crave texting someone I crave someone caring about the details of my day. And I date to marry so most guys my age smoke drink and want to sleep around but me I’m the opposite I don’t do any of those things. I wanna be taken out on dates, I want compliments, I want someone to want to have a future with me and I’ve genuinely never had that before and I wonder if the love I want actually exist or is it just in fairy tales. I’ve never been taken out on a date or had one planned for me or gotten flowers it just sucks.

I’m not doing good at all, I went away to my moms house and now have to return to our empty apartment , there’s 2 more months left on the lease and that’s just too long for me. I’m angry like why, I’ve asked him several times about our future, marriage, staying together and he just went along with it like a coward why the heck would you get back with me! And one of the things he mentioned in the break up text was how when we were broken up I reported him to the leasing office because he used a security stick in the door when I was home and then I’d end up being locked out of the apartment and I asked him not to do that at the time because if we’re broken up I don’t want to have to tell you “hey I’m leaving and I’ll be home at this time” because quite frankly it was none of his business at the time. But then when he broke up with me he said he never got over that situation and didn’t know how far I would go and when he found out it was my moms idea apparently it made it 100x worse like my bad I didn’t want to be locked out of the apartment ? And then he said at every turn I made him feel unimportant which I don’t understand, I moved out the state to be with you and I took you back multiple times , Cooked for you, offered to take care of you when you were sick, showed interest in your video games and begged to play together and you never wanted to but would literally play all day with your friends. That’s all he would do was sleep get up and sit on the game and then I’d have to go in his room and ask “can we cuddle?🥺” like a dummy like he never took initiative like ever. And if those were the problems especially the security stick situation you should have never attempted to get back with me like huh? (also to add where we live it’s a 2 bed 2 bath but we’re on 2 separate leases)

’im embarrassed because I decided to give someone multiple chances, I let the same person breakup with me 4 times I genuinely never thought I would do something like that, Like why would I expect a different out come when clearly he’s shown me the same thing everytime. Like I’m such a lover person I’ve only been in 2 relationships and I date to marry. This relationship was almost 5 years we met when we were 18 and the last time he tried to break up with me he wanted me back got me flowers wrote this long essay and I fell for it like why everytime you breakup with me you want me back? But this last time he waited until he moved out of our apartment to breakup with me over text which all the other times he’s broken up with me it was in person and I feel like he was just with me because we were living together and it was convenient. Idk there’s so many what ifs that it can drive me insane. Like deep down I did settle because I like flowers I like to be taken on dates , he never took me on a date or even planned one it was always me. He only got me Flowers once and that was when he was trying to get back with me like he was on the verge of tears and also told me I bring so much to the table. I’m trying to shorten this up but honestly I’m embarrassed to cry because he doesn’t deserve my tears. Like i had to beg to be complimented and I thought it just wasn’t his love language to complimenting but he genuinely never did. And I had to beg to be called babe, baby, just basic relationship names. Like im drained and stuck living in our empty apartment for 2 more months. He just got rid of me like i was garbage in the blink of an eye and just lead me on like why beg and try so hard for me to get back with you just to do this. My next relationship which honestly I can’t even imagine having I know I’m only 22 but I’m disgusted with myself tbh. I need someone who will get me flowers just because, someone who will naturally just look at me and compliment me, someone who can lead and plan dates naturally why am I begging for that. I want cute notes left for me when I come home, I want thoughtful ness I always used to tell him like “hey you can always go to google to get some ideas” but he never did I’m just so defeated I put so much effort. Cooking , cleaning , leaving love notes, planning cute dates like paint and sip, paying for mostly everything I’m tired of doing everything on my own I mean it’s just draining and now I have to start all over again whenever I’m ready to put myself out there and it just sucks

im embarrassed because I decided to give someone multiple chances, I let the same person breakup with me 4 times I genuinely never thought I would do something like that, Like why would I expect a different out come when clearly he’s shown me the same thing everytime. Like I’m such a lover person I’ve only been in 2 relationships and I date to marry. This relationship was almost 5 years we met when we were 18 and the last time he tried to break up with me he wanted me back got me flowers wrote this long essay and I fell for it like why everytime you breakup with me you want me back? But this last time he waited until he moved out of our apartment to breakup with me over text which all the other times he’s broken up with me it was in person and I feel like he was just with me because we were living together and it was convenient. Idk there’s so many what ifs that it can drive me insane. Like deep down I did settle because I like flowers I like to be taken on dates , he never took me on a date or even planned one it was always me. He only got me Flowers once and that was when he was trying to get back with me like he was on the verge of tears and also told me I bring so much to the table. I’m trying to shorten this up but honestly I’m embarrassed to cry because he doesn’t deserve my tears. Like i had to beg to be complimented and I thought it just wasn’t his love language to complimenting but he genuinely never did. And I had to beg to be called babe, baby, just basic relationship names. Like im drained and stuck living in our empty apartment for 2 more months. He just got rid of me like i was garbage in the blink of an eye and just lead me on like why beg and try so hard for me to get back with you just to do this. My next relationship which honestly I can’t even imagine having I know I’m only 22 but I’m disgusted with myself tbh. I need someone who will get me flowers just because, someone who will naturally just look at me and compliment me, someone who can lead and plan dates naturally why am I begging for that.

’im embarrassed because I decided to give someone multiple chances, I let the same person breakup with me 4 times I genuinely never thought I would do something like that, Like why would I expect a different out come when clearly he’s shown me the same thing everytime. Like I’m such a lover person I’ve only been in 2 relationships and I date to marry. This relationship was almost 5 years we met when we were 18 and the last time he tried to break up with me he wanted me back got me flowers wrote this long essay and I fell for it like why everytime you breakup with me you want me back? But this last time he waited until he moved out of our apartment to breakup with me over text which all the other times he’s broken up with me it was in person and I feel like he was just with me because we were living together and it was convenient. Idk there’s so many what ifs that it can drive me insane. Like deep down I did settle because I like flowers I like to be taken on dates , he never took me on a date or even planned one it was always me. He only got me Flowers once and that was when he was trying to get back with me like he was on the verge of tears and also told me I bring so much to the table. I’m trying to shorten this up but honestly I’m embarrassed to cry because he doesn’t deserve my tears. Like i had to beg to be complimented and I thought it just wasn’t his love language to complimenting but he genuinely never did. And I had to beg to be called babe, baby, just basic relationship names. Like im drained and stuck living in our empty apartment for 2 more months. He just got rid of me like i was garbage in the blink of an eye and just lead me on like why beg and try so hard for me to get back with you just to do this. My next relationship which honestly I can’t even imagine having I know I’m only 22 but I’m disgusted with myself tbh. I need someone who will get me flowers just because, someone who will naturally just look at me and compliment me, someone who can lead and plan dates naturally why am I begging for that.

’im embarrassed because I decided to give someone multiple chances, I let the same person breakup with me 4 times I genuinely never thought I would do something like that, Like why would I expect a different out come when clearly he’s shown me the same thing everytime. Like I’m such a lover person I’ve only been in 2 relationships and I date to marry. This relationship was almost 5 years we met when we were 18 and the last time he tried to break up with me he wanted me back got me flowers wrote this long essay and I fell for it like why everytime you breakup with me you want me back? But this last time he waited until he moved out of our apartment to breakup with me over text which all the other times he’s broken up with me it was in person and I feel like he was just with me because we were living together and it was convenient. Idk there’s so many what ifs that it can drive me insane. Like deep down I did settle because I like flowers I like to be taken on dates , he never took me on a date or even planned one it was always me. He only got me Flowers once and that was when he was trying to get back with me like he was on the verge of tears and also told me I bring so much to the table. I’m trying to shorten this up but honestly I’m embarrassed to cry because he doesn’t deserve my tears. Like i had to beg to be complimented and I thought it just wasn’t his love language to complimenting but he genuinely never did. And I had to beg to be called babe, baby, just basic relationship names. Like im drained and stuck living in our empty apartment for 2 more months. He just got rid of me like i was garbage in the blink of an eye and just lead me on like why beg and try so hard for me to get back with you just to do this. My next relationship which honestly I can’t even imagine having I know I’m only 22 but I’m disgusted with myself tbh. I need someone who will get me flowers just because, someone who will naturally just look at me and compliment me, someone who can lead and plan dates naturally why am I begging for that.

’m embarrassed because I decided to give someone multiple chances, I let the same person breakup with me 4 times I genuinely never thought I would do something like that, Like why would I expect a different out come when clearly he’s shown me the same thing everytime. Like I’m such a lover person I’ve only been in 2 relationships and I date to marry. This relationship was almost 5 years we met when we were 18 and the last time he tried to break up with me he wanted me back got me flowers wrote this long essay and I fell for it like why everytime you breakup with me you want me back? But this last time he waited until he moved out of our apartment to breakup with me over text which all the other times he’s broken up with me it was in person and I feel like he was just with me because we were living together and it was convenient. Idk there’s so many what ifs that it can drive me insane. Like deep down I did settle because I like flowers I like to be taken on dates , he never took me on a date or even planned one it was always me. He only got me Flowers once and that was when he was trying to get back with me like he was on the verge of tears and also told me I bring so much to the table. I’m trying to shorten this up but honestly I’m embarrassed to cry because he doesn’t deserve my tears. Like i had to beg to be complimented and I thought it just wasn’t his love language to complimenting but he genuinely never did. And I had to beg to be called babe, baby, just basic relationship names. Like im drained and stuck living in our empty apartment for 2 more months. He just got rid of me like i was garbage in the blink of an eye and just lead me on like why beg and try so hard for me to get back with you just to do this. My next relationship which honestly I can’t even imagine having I know I’m only 22 but I’m disgusted with myself tbh. I need someone who will get me flowers just because, someone who will naturally just look at me and compliment me, someone who can lead and plan dates naturally why am I begging for that.