u/CherryHearts123

Today is of course 4th of July, and our town has a fireworks show that begins at 8:30. My MIL had been desperate for us to join her and the rest of the family to watch the show, which I had previously been open to doing since we usually keep a semi-flexible bedtime schedule with our 18 month old.

My daughter woke at 4:30 this morning and has been up since, I’m tired, she’s tired, there’s just no way she’s making it that late today. It sucks that it had to be this way today of all days, because I was actually looking forward to showing her the fireworks, but it would just be miserable. No point in even trying to stay for just half an hour because MIL always guilts us into staying much longer.

Anyway, had to tell her we wouldn’t be coming after all and she was not happy. She kept asking over and over and said I was being mean preventing my daughter from seeing the show and that she’d love it so much. Like I’m sorry, I get it sucks, but I know I will end up regretting it and who would be the one that ends up dealing with an overtired cranky toddler? Me, not her.

Of course, I’m the one that’s now the bad guy. She hung up in a grump and said she feels so sorry for my daughter that I’m not allowing her to come. Cool, I’m sure she’ll totally miss something that she has absolutely zero idea about. This happens quite frequently with MIL, she seems to have no concept of naps or bedtimes, just expects us to be able to bring her wherever and whenever. It’s always me that’s to blame, not her son of course. Sick of it tbh.

My daughter will usually take a 1.5-2 hour nap and goes down without a fuss most days, takes a few minutes to get comfy then falls asleep. The past week though, I’ve noticed she’s starting to fight the nap a lot more. It’ll sometimes take her 20-40 minutes to fall asleep.

Today I put her down and she was just not having it, I waited an hour and during that time she was happy rolling around in her crib with her stuffies, but clearly was not sleepy so I gave in and got her back up. I know it was just one day of a skipped nap, but could she already be starting to drop the nap for good? It just feels so early and I’m not ready 😅,

Currently almost 18 months postpartum and just five pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. I’ve been trying on some of my favourite shorts and jeans that I used to wear before I had my daughter and they just don’t fit the same, they are tight and uncomfortable when they used to be loose on me. My hips have definitely widened after having a baby but I guess I didn’t think it was by much, my stomach is of course not as toned anymore and I have a bit of a pouch. Could this be a permanent change? Will exercises change this?

We already live super rural right now, in a town with less than 250 people and over two hours away from the next town or city. My husband’s parents have a ranch and they are passing it on to my husband and I, so we will soon be even more rural when we move as it’s 20 minutes away from the town we currently live in and completely in the middle of nowhere.

I already stay home with our 18 month old and so I will continue to just the only difference is I won’t technically be a SAHM anymore as both my husband and I will be taking over the ranch work. I’m glad she will have both of us home with her the majority of the time, but I’m worried about how the isolation will impact her. I’ve looked into baby groups and events specifically for kids in the area and there are none, even if I wanted to put her in a daycare I couldn’t because there are none either. There’s a school she’ll go to when she’s older and that’s it. Where we are is a very agricultural part of the Midwest so the majority of families are ranchers/farmers with a similar dynamic, most homeschool too though we won’t be doing that.

I know there are other moms in the area who are in pretty much the exact same position, who I would love to befriend so our kids could hang out, but it’s not that easy unfortunately. There’s never any opportunity to introduce myself to them.

We also don’t plan to have anymore kids (fertility struggles) so she won’t have any siblings for company either. I as an adult struggle with the isolation sometimes so I can’t imagine how it could be for a child. My husband grew up in the same situation, only child with just his parents for company on the ranch, which he said he loved, but I can’t count on my daughter feeling the same.

I just feel like it’s going to be lonely for her until she starts school, and I don’t really know what to do. Could this impact her development? We do travel to the nearest city every weekend to get our groceries and do some fun activities like swimming and taking her to the zoo, so I’m hoping as she gets older I can take her to kid clubs/events there, but I don’t feel it’s enough.

Is anyone in a similar predicament, and how do you handle this?

I’m sitting in my backyard in the beautiful weather while my 17 month old naps (I’m literally within 40 seconds reach of her) and I know she’ll be down for at least 1.5-2 hours. Then she’ll wake up, we’ll play outside or go for a walk, make some dinner, more playtime and then after she’s gone to bed I can just chill and do what I want for the next few hours. It’s definitely not sunshine and rainbows all the time and we for sure have our hard days and nights still, but my god, compared to the hellish first year I had with her this is a golden time. The best part is it’s only going to get better.

I honestly and truly can’t imagine getting to this stage where I’m finally starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel just to go get pregnant again and put myself right back on the struggle bus. Several woman I know who were pregnant at the same time as me are now pregnant again and all I can say is thank god it’s not me, being pregnant with a toddler sounds so fucking hard. The idea of facing sleepless nights, witching hour, non stop screaming and crap naps all over again is kinda nightmare fuel for me.

The fact that I’ll never have to experience it again just makes me so happy. I can enjoy things slowly starting to get easier without thinking “ugh this isn’t going to last if I have another baby”. It’s very freeing.

Whenever I mention this to certain people though I notice they’re so desperate to change my mind somehow, they’ll tell me “oh having a hard first baby is no excuse, the second is always guaranteed to be easier” or “having just one kid is so boring!”. Kids are still hard even if they’re “easier” and I love my boring life sooo that shit is not working on me.

I’ve also heard some child free people talk about how it’s always the most miserable, bitter parents that try to convince them to change their minds and that it’s basically a misery loves company thing. I think the same can also be true for miserable parents with multiples trying to convince OAD folk, somehow it makes THEM feel better to see others unhappy with their decisions like they are. I’m starting to suspect the true reason why some of them feel so personally offended by the notion of OAD is not because they think you’re being “selfish” by not giving your child another sibling but because they’re jealous and resentful.

I know going through all the shitty stages several times over and having a lot less free time is worth it to many people who genuinely want another kid, but I personally can’t think of a single reason why I’d want another, so I know it wouldn’t be worth it for me. I’m happy and content as is and I’m confident no one can make me feel differently. It’s a great thing to have this community.

My stats for context- 5’5 SW: 156 lbs CW: 153 lbs GW: 135 lbs

I’ve now finished my first month on 1.5mg of compounded tirzepatide, the first week I wasn’t really feeling anything at all and still ate as normal, it wasn’t until the second week I started to properly feel it and I have since been eating a lot less than usual, my daily goal is 1250 calories at a 500 cal deficit which I end up meeting the majority of the time.

Just weighed myself today and I’m only down three pounds, which would put me down as losing at 1 pound a week. I mean I’m still happy, it’s something at least, but I guess I got my hopes up a bit as other people I know also on a glp-1 lost up to ten pounds their first month. I understand since I’m not hugely overweight I will probably lose at a slower pace, but is this normal or should I up my dose? I definitely do have a decreased appetite and I get sick if I over eat so it is working but I don’t know if it’s enough. Has anyone else only lost a small amount their first month?

My grandma died earlier today and we had a very complicated relationship, there were a lot of things I wanted to say to her/ask her that I never got to. Is there a possibility I could be able to communicate with her somehow now that she’s recently passed? Would it be easier to “break the veil” since it was so recent? I’m thinking of writing her a letter and burying it so that maybe she can read it wherever she is now.

Hello, I’m 23F, from the UK but currently living in the US and I’ve been considering learning Norwegian for a little while now but I’ve decided I finally want to begin and I’d love someone to chat with who can help me with the language! I’d also be willing to help with English too if you so wish, I look forward to hearing from you!

My story is a little bit different as I’m not my mother’s only child (she had three kids before me) but I am my dad’s only child and so I’ve always identified more with that label since my half-siblings are a lot older (shortest age gap is nine years) and not in my life much.

My dad and I have a very special relationship that I don’t think would have been the same if he had younger kids. We’ve always been close, he’s there for me for whatever I may need and he gives the best advice. I genuinely enjoy spending time with him and he’s always felt more like a best friend/older brother rather than a dad if that makes sense? I think part of that is because once I was over the screaming toddler phase (I was not an easy kid) he could actually start to properly enjoy being around me and do activities with me without the stress of looking after younger kids. It was always just us and I loved it.

He was maybe a bit too laid back when I was growing up, but my mum was the opposite, always on my back about this or that and would scream at me for almost everything. They divorced when I was 6 so I’d spend the weekends with him (which I loved) and the weeks with my mum (which I did not like). All my siblings had moved out by the time they divorced so i don’t remember living under the same roof as them much, like i mentioned before by this point i did feel like a true only child.

I went through a phase when I was like 8 where I was really sad I didn’t have any younger siblings and I felt jealous of my classmates who had them, BUT I very quickly got over it as I got older and actually ended up relieved it was just me. I’d hear stories from people at school who were stuck looking after their younger siblings, having their stuff broken, their parents playing favourites, you get it.

Now that I’m an adult, I don’t miss the idea of siblings at all. I’m very rarely in contact with my half-siblings and see them once every few years if that. We’re not close, and they’re not close with each other either, we all have our own things going on and just not really anything in common. I actually think this is more common than you’d think, I know very few people who are close with their siblings. The idea you are expected to be close to someone just because you share DNA is kinda crazy and outdated imo.

The only issue I’ve had to consider navigating is caring for my dad when he’s older, which even then isn’t a big deal as I’d be more than happy to do it and would want to even if he did have other kids. I know people say the loss of a parent is much harder if you don’t have siblings, but again I don’t really think that’s true. Losing my dad would be truly devastating regardless.

So yeah, it doesn’t affect me at all, I have one daughter and I do not plan to have anymore. I don’t feel the pressure to add another kid just for the sole reason of giving my daughter a sibling, mostly because I’ve lived through it myself and I know it’s not the travesty some people make it out to be, and also because I think that reasoning is stupid 🤷🏼‍♀️. Two loving, caring and devoted parents is far better than a sibling that you might end up close to, I know my daughter will make her own friends and choose her own people as she gets older so I’m really not concerned about it. I have experienced judgement for it, mainly from my MIL and mum, but I simply don’t care. OAD is the perfect cheat code, I think lots of people would be way happier as parents if they just stuck to one. I’m glad this sub exists!

My husband is not able to show physical affection towards me in front of my toddler without her crying and getting very upset. Whenever she sees him hugging or kissing me she starts wailing then hits him until he stops. She is very attached to me so could this just be jealousy?

My daughter has been sleeping through the night for about three months now, but the last few nights she has started waking again. Usually once and she won’t go back to sleep until I hold her for at least 15-20 minutes. She was also doing 11.5 hours a night pretty consistently but now she’s averaging 9.5.

Nothing has changed in our routine or schedule, she has a 5.5 hour WW, 2 hour nap and then another 5.5 hour WW. She was teething recently but I’m not sure if she still is. Is it some sort of regression? I had just started getting used to her sleeping better so I’m scared she’s going to start waking every night now. She has been sleep trained since six months but only started sleeping TTN when I weaned.