u/CherryHearts123

My grandma died earlier today and we had a very complicated relationship, there were a lot of things I wanted to say to her/ask her that I never got to. Is there a possibility I could be able to communicate with her somehow now that she’s recently passed? Would it be easier to “break the veil” since it was so recent? I’m thinking of writing her a letter and burying it so that maybe she can read it wherever she is now.

Hello, I’m 23F, from the UK but currently living in the US and I’ve been considering learning Norwegian for a little while now but I’ve decided I finally want to begin and I’d love someone to chat with who can help me with the language! I’d also be willing to help with English too if you so wish, I look forward to hearing from you!

My story is a little bit different as I’m not my mother’s only child (she had three kids before me) but I am my dad’s only child and so I’ve always identified more with that label since my half-siblings are a lot older (shortest age gap is nine years) and not in my life much.

My dad and I have a very special relationship that I don’t think would have been the same if he had younger kids. We’ve always been close, he’s there for me for whatever I may need and he gives the best advice. I genuinely enjoy spending time with him and he’s always felt more like a best friend/older brother rather than a dad if that makes sense? I think part of that is because once I was over the screaming toddler phase (I was not an easy kid) he could actually start to properly enjoy being around me and do activities with me without the stress of looking after younger kids. It was always just us and I loved it.

He was maybe a bit too laid back when I was growing up, but my mum was the opposite, always on my back about this or that and would scream at me for almost everything. They divorced when I was 6 so I’d spend the weekends with him (which I loved) and the weeks with my mum (which I did not like). All my siblings had moved out by the time they divorced so i don’t remember living under the same roof as them much, like i mentioned before by this point i did feel like a true only child.

I went through a phase when I was like 8 where I was really sad I didn’t have any younger siblings and I felt jealous of my classmates who had them, BUT I very quickly got over it as I got older and actually ended up relieved it was just me. I’d hear stories from people at school who were stuck looking after their younger siblings, having their stuff broken, their parents playing favourites, you get it.

Now that I’m an adult, I don’t miss the idea of siblings at all. I’m very rarely in contact with my half-siblings and see them once every few years if that. We’re not close, and they’re not close with each other either, we all have our own things going on and just not really anything in common. I actually think this is more common than you’d think, I know very few people who are close with their siblings. The idea you are expected to be close to someone just because you share DNA is kinda crazy and outdated imo.

The only issue I’ve had to consider navigating is caring for my dad when he’s older, which even then isn’t a big deal as I’d be more than happy to do it and would want to even if he did have other kids. I know people say the loss of a parent is much harder if you don’t have siblings, but again I don’t really think that’s true. Losing my dad would be truly devastating regardless.

So yeah, it doesn’t affect me at all, I have one daughter and I do not plan to have anymore. I don’t feel the pressure to add another kid just for the sole reason of giving my daughter a sibling, mostly because I’ve lived through it myself and I know it’s not the travesty some people make it out to be, and also because I think that reasoning is stupid 🤷🏼‍♀️. Two loving, caring and devoted parents is far better than a sibling that you might end up close to, I know my daughter will make her own friends and choose her own people as she gets older so I’m really not concerned about it. I have experienced judgement for it, mainly from my MIL and mum, but I simply don’t care. OAD is the perfect cheat code, I think lots of people would be way happier as parents if they just stuck to one. I’m glad this sub exists!

My husband is not able to show physical affection towards me in front of my toddler without her crying and getting very upset. Whenever she sees him hugging or kissing me she starts wailing then hits him until he stops. She is very attached to me so could this just be jealousy?

My daughter has been sleeping through the night for about three months now, but the last few nights she has started waking again. Usually once and she won’t go back to sleep until I hold her for at least 15-20 minutes. She was also doing 11.5 hours a night pretty consistently but now she’s averaging 9.5.

Nothing has changed in our routine or schedule, she has a 5.5 hour WW, 2 hour nap and then another 5.5 hour WW. She was teething recently but I’m not sure if she still is. Is it some sort of regression? I had just started getting used to her sleeping better so I’m scared she’s going to start waking every night now. She has been sleep trained since six months but only started sleeping TTN when I weaned.