I don't need vendor details but like what kind of vendors/games would you have at your haldi carnival?

So far we were thinking some games, a temporary tattoo station and a make your own hand fan kinda thing. What other activities can be fun and engaging.

Haldi is the first official function.

Who are the women you think every Indian should know about? They can be historical figures or contemporary leaders whose work has advanced education, safety, equality, healthcare, legal rights, representation, or opportunity for women.

Drop a name (or several!) and tell us why their work matters. We'd especially love to hear about lesser-known women whose contributions deserve more recognition.

I'm sorry but I am judging.

My fiancé and I went to watch The Odyssey a few days ago and there were literal babies in the theater. Tiny babies. I know someone is going to say "not everyone has a support system" and yeah I know, that's exactly the problem.

I'm not judging the moms. I'm judging the families around them.

We've also seen babies at Gurgaon BYOB hookah bars. Loud as fuck music, people drinking, hookah smoke everywhere and somehow everyone has decided this is a better option than finding literally anyone else to watch the baby for a few hours??

Dads can you take care of your own baby one evening a week so mum can go watch a movie with her friends? And no, that's not babysitting, it's literally just parenting.

Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, somebody. Can someone else take some responsibility because why is the default always that mum either stays home or the baby gets dragged everywhere.

And if you can afford it normalize babysitters. Normalize nannies. Normalize actually having a village instead of pretending the only person capable of looking after a baby is mum.

Like I'm sorry but I don't think babies belong in movie theaters, I don't think they belong at hookah bars, I don't think they belong in clubs either and I don't really know why this is a controversial opinion. Parents deserve a life too, especially moms, but the solution shouldn't be taking a baby somewhere that's loud, overstimulating or full of smoke because nobody else in the family could be bothered to step up for 3 hours.

📰 Delhi AQI crosses 500. Experts blame Jinnah for failing to install enough air purifiers before Partition.

📰 Monsoon flooding continues. Archaeologists confirm the Indus Valley Civilization failed to build drainage infrastructure capable of handling 2026 rainfall.

📰 Unemployment rises. Economists trace the crisis back to Gautama Buddha encouraging young people to quit their jobs and seek enlightenment.

📰 Another major exam paper leaked. Authorities suspect Chanakya is once again applying Arthashastra tactics.

📰 Petrol now contains 20% ethanol. Historians blame the ancient Indians for inventing soma and normalizing intoxication.

📰 Corruption remains rampant. Experts say Alexander the Great invaded India but left without conducting a proper administrative handover.

📰 Taxes still feel too high. Akbar reportedly insisted Fatehpur Sikri needed "just one more courtyard."

📰 Traffic worsens across major cities. Sher Shah Suri blamed for introducing the dangerous concept of roads.

📰 Police brutality during CJP protests. Officials confirm the lathi charge was planned by Genghis Khan, who remains at large.

Current government thanks historians for another productive day of governance. Ps lets hear more such headlines who tell you who to blame for the current state of the country.

>!If anyone thought this was fr, let me make this very clear that this was always hyperbolic satire. !<

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Genericthrowaway5555

My (24/f) future in laws are upset because my autistic nephews (6/m, 10/m, 13/m, 17/m) aren't invited to the wedding and my fiancé (36/m) won't even defend me.

Thanks to u/Arifault for help with the comments

TRIGGER WARNING: >!Ableism, verbal and physical abuse, gaslighting, sexual assualt!<

Original Post  Dec 19, 2014

To start out, I really love my future nephews and their disabilities don't have any effect on that. They are severely autistic and the two oldest ones are extremely violent (hitting/kicking/spitting/scratching/pushing) and the 17 year old also has several inappropriate sexual behaviors that he exhibits regularly.

The two youngest ones are fairly low functioning and can't really speak, but can be fairly disruptive when they are over stimulated. The biggest problem comes in when the oldest two have meltdowns (caused by overstimulation and large groups of people, especially strangers, or when their schedule is disrupted.) During my time around these two boys, I've been kicked, punched, shoved, spat (not drooled) on, head butted, and bitten (I had to go to the hospital to get it checked out). This was especially more common in the beginning of mine and my fiancé's relationship being that I was a stranger to the boys. It's decreased a little over time, but it still happens and I'm pretty small (5'2" 100lb) and they're pretty big, so when it happens it knocks the wind out of me pretty badly. The 17 year old has also started noticing his sexual feelings and has began taking them out on women anywhere near him (including me). He walk up and kiss women in the lips or grab their butts or their breasts and he's even tried to stick his hand down my pants before and takes his clothes off and masturbates whenever he feels like it. I've asked his parents and grandparents (the people they live with who take care of them) if there is anything they can do or say to maybe encourage them not to do those things and it just resulted in me being hated and yelled at for being insensitive to their issues and expecting them to know better when I know that they don't. I've thought about trying to get them to stop using some methods that I read about but I didn't want to make it any worse because I know that if I tried anything, it would result in more yelling and being berated and told that "at least I don't have to deal with it every day."

Since we know what causes the boys to have meltdowns, my fiancé and I decided to have a childfree wedding as to not specifically exclude the boys. When my fBIL heard about the no kids rule, he immediately jumped on the defense and demanded that the boys be invited because "normal kids will get to experience other weddings; they won't." When I tried explaining to him that it wasnt for just the boys again, he wasnt having it. Then I tried explaining that the safety of the boys (I don't want them to be too overwhelmed and the venue isn't child friendly) and the guests at the wedding (about 350 people) was very important to me, I got berated and told how horrible and insensitive and evil of a person I was. They're threatening to not come to the wedding and have already started posting the passive aggressive stuff on Facebook about the "favorite auntie who thinks her autistic nephews are a burden because they aren't perfect." Now my fiancé wants to allow them to come, but not any other children and he seems totally unconcerned about the guests who will be there, or even me for that matter. I'm honestly just thinking about calling off the wedding and possibly even my relationship with my fiancé as he never stands up for me and sometimes even joins in with telling me to just accept the things that come with the disease no matter how bad they are.

I don't know how much more I can deal with in this situation as a whole dealing with his family. I know that this all sounds terrible on my end and I honestly feel bad for feeling this way because I know that they can't help it and I feel bad for my fBIL/fSIL/fMIL/fFIL because I know that they are under tons of constant stress and don't really have many places to turn besides each other but I really can't deal with this for the rest of my life.

Am I wrong and insensitive in this situation and is ending my relationship with my fiancé and his family too drastic a measure for this problem?

tl;dr: My fiancé and I originally decided to have a CF wedding, but now he wants to include his violent and sexually inappropriate autistic nephews despite the fact that they have meltdowns in large areas with lots of people. When I brought this up i was berated by him and his family and it's been like this since we met and I'm honestly thinking about ending my relationship with him.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

RoseTyler38

>Why on earth is your fiancé not backing you up here?

OOP

>>He thinks that I'm wrong to feel the way I do because the boys can't help their disorders and he thinks that I should get over it and not bother his brother and SIL with it when there's nothing they can do about it anyways. And he's thrown out the "you chose to be apart of my family" thing which is true, so he usually joins in in their side instead of mine.

OOP added info on the kids

explaining the BIL having 3 autistic children

>The 17 year old is their biological child and the other 3 were adopted as babies. I should've added this in earlier, but all of the adopted boys have other issues that were known at birth which is how they ended up having 4 special needs children. I'm not exactly sure what those other disabilities are though as they mainly just tell me "it's their autism" when problems arise.

Are they in therapy?

>As far as I know they're not in therapy and I'm not sure if they've even checked out therapy or support groups. I once tried to suggest that maybe therapy would be a good thing to try out and I got my head bitten off for "telling them how to parent their kids and speaking on something I have no idea about" then my fiancé laid into me too, so all in all, they value anything I say on the situation as pretty much worthless and they definitely aren't open to therapy.

Update  Dec 26, 2014 (1 week later)

Thanks to all of you who commented and gave advice on the last post. Having the little extra support was nice.

The day after I made the post I basically already had my mind made up to leave my fiancé (I'd been thinking about it longer than I'd like to admit), but I decided to wait until the holidays were over so that the break wouldn't be as messy.

We were discussing Christmas plans and I told him that I would prefer to go to my family's house this year because I knew that If I joined his family, his brother/SIL and their boys would be there and id rather not disturb the boys schedule or get yelled at by his family anymore.

My fiancé flipped his shit and began yelling at me for being selfish and thinking only of myself. I even told him why again and he still kept yelling, all while name calling, and I lost it and started yelling too and told him that I might want to spend time with his family if I wasn't abused and forced against a wall every time I was near them.

Apparently this was the most shocking news ever to him and he couldn't believe that I felt that way. When he finally asked how I was being abused, I told him about all of the things his family does and says to me (even though usually while he's present) and maybe I shouldn't have, but I also told him that I didn't want to be hit/kicked/spat on/groped by the boys for at least this one day. He, somehow had no idea that I wasn't okay with this (!) despite the fact that he witnesses it and I tell him every time it happens.

He called me an "awful cunt'' for "blaming them for doing things that they don't know aren't okay/that go along with their disabilities" and "having no sympathy for selfless (!!!!!) people in a physically/emotionally tough situation" which isn't at all what came out of my mouth in any way, shape, or form (and he knows that I know that the boys can't help it and that I've expressed both sympathy and understanding for his brother/SIL).

He left very soon after that and immediately the phone calls (and messages) started coming in from his family. I can't even count how many worthless/useless/selfish/evil/ pathetic, bitches/whores/and cunts I was called. Then they even took it to Facebook and fabricated the story completely and twisted just about every word.

My fiancé came back the next day and apologized for the night before and asked if I was ready to suck it up and get over myself and just go to his family's house for Christmas. I stuck to my guns and told him that there was no way I was going back there and that I was spending the holidays with my family whether he was going or not and we got into another fight (solely about our relationship this time). And I told him about all of his selfishness, immaturity (in everything), disrespect (lying, name calling, purposely doing/saying things I'd asked him not to) whininess (whenever I wanted to go out with friends or family or have time by myself he would pout and moan and groan and whine and call a billion times asking when I'd be home), and his total lack of balls when it came to defending me ever.

We went back and forth for quite a while and at one point I was finally done and kicked him out (it was my house to begin with) and told him that our relationship was over.

Even after all of that, it was hard to leave him and i will sort of miss him at times, but it felt like the biggest weight in the world had been lifted off of my shoulders and for the first time in the 4.5 years we'd been together I felt like a free person.

I still feel bad for his family though, and especially the boys, knowing what they have to go through, but I had to get out as it was only adding extra, unneeded stress and hurt to everyone.

It's still a mess right now with him having to come back and forth and get his belongings and canceling everything for the wedding, but I'm happy that it's over now and that I can move on and not feel completely awful about myself 24/7, even though my heart is still a little broken.

TL;DR: my (now ex) fiancé and I got into a big fight over Christmas plans which led to the argument that led to the end of our relationship, so now I don't even have to worry about what was in the original post.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Rancho had 400+ patents. This guy has ZERO.

Sonam Wangchuk, the so-called genius and inspiration for 3 Idiots.

This so-called "inspiration" has spent his life doing questionable things like:

• Building SECMOL, an education movement for students who failed in the conventional system.
• Creating the Ice Stupa concept to store winter water for communities in Ladakh.
• Developing solar-heated tents for extreme climates.

Anyone sensible would have charged a premium fee for the practical and experimental education that this school provides, but this idiot decided there would be zero tuition.

Rather than patenting his inventions and commercializing them, he donated them to the Indian Army and kept them open-source.

Rule 1 of Engineering: Real engineers engineer only when there is a revenue model attached to it

Now this same person has the audacity to ask for accountability from the Education Ministry after the NEET controversy.

The Honorable Education Minister Shri Dharmendra Pradhan has already conducted the RENEET exam.

I know 22 students committed suicide due to this failure, but he has apologized and admitted his mistake.

The kind soul also said, "I curse myself every time a student commits suicide." Isn't that enough? What's the need for investigation and accountability?

So please, enjoy your dinner tonight. Place your hand on your heart and remind yourself:

"Aaaal iz wellll."

r/sarcasm

The fact that I had to clarify "non obsessive fans only" in the title kind of proves my point. If a woman says she's a fan of *insert artist*, there's always someone ready to call her delusional, parasocial, obsessive, or "she thinks he'll notice her lol."

Meanwhile, these are often the same men who will lose their minds over sports. In India, we've literally seen angry fans pelt cricketers' houses after losses, abuse players online, and direct vile comments at their wives and girlfriends. Sports fandom can get incredibly emotional.

When India won the World Cup recently, I was watching with my fiancé and his friends. At one point I sneezed, and some indian cricketer immediately hit a six. They spent the rest of the match trying to make me sneeze because they were convinced it was lucky. It was hilarious, but also a perfect example of the kind of superstition people happily indulge in during sports. Every woman reading this probably has a similar story. My fiancé's dad once told his mum to go to the clinic during a match because the last time India played a big game, she happened to be at work.

And don't even get me started on football fans. Tell some men Messi is overrated and watch how quickly they get ragebaited. They also get weirdly offended if you don't know the difference between Yuvi and Yudi. Sir, did I ask you to know the difference between chartreuse and sage, so why does my conflating ManCity with ManUnited bother you more than ManUnited's loosing streak.

None of this is inherently bad. I actually think it's fun when people are passionate about things. The weird part is that men's fandom is treated as normal, while women's fandom is treated as embarrassing or delusional by default.

A man decking out his room in football merch, buying a red iPhone because Manchester United, planning his weekends around matches, or refusing to wash his lucky jersey is just "passionate." A woman saying "I love Taylor Swift" or "I'm a huge BTS fan" suddenly has to clarify that she doesn't think she's going to marry them.

I just absolutely hate how women are told they're crazy for *checks notes* liking something.

ETA: If my sports knowledge is lacking, it's because I'm clearly not interested. Everything I know has been acquired through osmosis from the men in my life. But god forbid, the men in my life know I like Lifafa.

My planners are suggesting

1. Avani Hua Hin
2. Dusit Thani
3. Sheraton

Does anyone have any experience with a wedding at these places? Hows the food, how are the rooms? How is the service? How is the overall experience.

P.s plz don't DM me. Keep the information in the comments so other people can benefit from it as well.

Has it ever happened to you that you are desperate and in need of some advice but the people you talk to just recycle some bakwas (ridiculous) platitudes and offer them to you. I'll go first:

1. Be strong/be positive.
2. When you know you know.

Like if you don't have anything helpful to say, just say "it fucking sucks". Don't give me the unhelpful spiel. I'd rather hear honest empathy than another motivational one-liner that means absolutely nothing. *rolls eyes*

Okay, your turn, what has been some "helpful" advice that makes you want to punch the person giving it.

So I am getting married next year... thank you. 🥰

But have you guys noticed how fucking misogynistic the whole desi wedding scene is?

(Disclaimer: Can we keep this to Hindu wedding rituals because I don't want unnecessary bigotry or whataboutery in the comments. My wedding is a Hindu ceremony, which is why I'm having anxiety over these rituals.)

Let's start with Milni.

For anyone who doesn't know, Milni is supposed to be this cute ritual where corresponding relatives from both sides meet each other, like the bride's father meets the groom's father, mama meets mama, etc. They greet each other, exchange garlands, sometimes hug or even lift each other up. It's meant to be fun and symbolic of the two families coming together.

I always thought it was just a wholesome, slightly chaotic icebreaker.

Imagine my surprise when I found out it also involves the bride's side giving envelopes to the groom's side.

What in the actual fuck?

I only found out because I wanted my mum to also do a Milni with my fiancé's mum instead of the whole ritual just being men. That's when my mum goes, "Don't add more Milnis, each one needs an envelope."

EXCUSE ME?

Anyway, that immediately made me want to scrap the ritual altogether.

Then there's Sagan. Some people call it Shagun, some call it Lagan. Whatever pretty name your community has given it, at the end of the day it is soft dowry.

Before anyone comes at me, yes, Chunni also exists where the bride gets welcomed into the family with jewellery and clothes.

Firstly, if the exchange was genuinely equal then sure, we'd have a conversation. But somehow it's never just the couple exchanging gifts. It's the groom, his parents, his relatives, his chacha, his mama, his bua, his... you get the point.

Secondly, I don't even WANT the Chunni.

Keep the jewellery.

Keep the saree.

I make my own money. I can buy my own jewellery. I can buy my own sarees. I don't need gendered gift exchanges to prove that two families love each other.

And I'll be honest, apart from the dowry aspect, I just find the whole thing tacky af. Calling people onto a stage one by one to receive gifts feels less like love and more like performative generosity. Gifts are supposed to be personal, not shoshebazi.

But the thing that's genuinely getting to me isn't even the money.

It's the vows.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE VOWS?

I've been attending my friends' weddings for the last few years. Most of them were love marriages. Most of them had relatively liberal families and in-laws.

And yet almost every single bride had the exact same expression on her face during that part of the ceremony.

Part sadness.

Part disappointment.

Part "are we seriously doing this?"

The last wedding I attended was straight out of Crazy Rich Asians. This girl has spent years building her own business and identity. She isn't just rich, she's accomplished. Both families are educated, liberal and genuinely lovely people.

And yet there she was, agreeing to vows about adjusting, changing, making his family her family.

An hour later her mother-in-law got on stage during the speeches and said, "Beta, we've loved you exactly the way you are. Never change."

Then why the fuck was everyone silent an hour ago?

Where was that energy when the pandit was asking her, in front of 500 people, to publicly agree that her pre-marriage identity was secondary now? That she'll adjust according to her husband's family? That she'll mould herself into whatever a "good bahu" is supposed to be?

Like ma'am, sir, respectfully, pick a fucking lane

Either women are perfect as they are or they need an entire ceremony dedicated to explaining how they should change.

Planning this wedding has honestly made me realize that patriarchy has incredible PR.

We've wrapped it in flowers, Sanskrit and expensive decor and now questioning it somehow means you're disrespecting culture.

I'm picking my battles because planning a wedding is exhausting.

So fine.

Keep the misogyny in Sanskrit.

I'll sit there because frankly I don't know what the pandit is saying anyway.

But if that man looks me in the eye and translates those vows into Hindi and expects me to repeat them...

I've decided I'm replying with "Qabool hai."

After all, it's just words, right?

If they're "just words" when I'm expected to say them, then my choice of language shouldn't matter either.

Anyway, I'm not even getting into Kanyadaan because bawal ho jaega (cause chaos). That deserves a rant of its own.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

P.S. Before anyone starts attacking my fiancé's family, this post isn't about them because, so far, they've asked for absolutely nothing. Every single one of these conversations has happened within my own family. Which, honestly, makes this even more interesting to me. We like to think we're a pretty liberal family, but the second weddings enter the picture, suddenly everyone becomes the guardian of traditions nobody even seems to like. That's the part I'm ranting about.

Ugh. I got my period and I'm in pain.

This morning I woke up at 5 a.m. because my least favourite aunty made her presence known. Imagine the AC is running on high and you wake up in sweats with someone repeatedly stabbing your lower back and lower abdomen from the inside.

Also scraping.

With a pitchfork.

When I was 13 and got my first ever period, all the helpful aunties around me told me, "It gets better with age, beta."

They fucking lied.

I'm 30 years old and no, aunty, age does not make it better.

You know what did make it better, at least temporarily?

Drugs.

I've been on birth control for a few years now, but last month, thanks to constant travel and time differences, I skipped a few pills. My gynaecologist recommended taking a one-month break and then restarting properly.

She did warn me.

"Your next period will not be pleasant."

Doc, this goes beyond "not pleasant."

Last month I was at a beach club in Bali. It was hot, I was hungry, and there were no tables available.

So naturally, I started crying.

My brother immediately went into investigation mode.

"Who said something?"

"No one."

"Why are you crying?"

"I'm fucking hungry."

"I don't believe you. I'll talk to Papa. Why's he being mean?"

"He didn't do anything. For once."

"I don't believe you."

What do you want me to tell you?

It's 35 degrees. I'm hungry. My body is shedding uterine lining and blood. I am filled with hormones and did I mention I was hungry?

He just gave me this deeply skeptical look, as though I was hiding some grand family scandal.

Like why would I make up a less believable story?

Coming back to today.

I hate being a woman.

Only for about four days a month.

Every other problem that comes with being a woman, I've found some sort of solution for.

This one? Apparently not.

It's 2026 and we're still telling girls that "a little pain is normal."

Getting diagnosed with anything is hard. Getting people to take your pain seriously is hard. And when you finally get diagnosed and somebody prescribes a pill that actually helps, suddenly 20,000 helpful women emerge from the shadows to tell you about side effects and repeat misconceptions passed down through seventeen generations.

Looking at you, Mother.

Your sugar pills will not cure my ridiculous periods.

I'm dying and you want me to visit a quack who's going to give me alcohol-filled sugar pellets.

At that point I'd rather have an actual cocktail.

A margarita sounds nice.

A hot toddy sounds nice too.

Yes, I want a hot toddy in 40-degree weather.

I am officially broken.

Anyway, this post doesn't really mean anything.

I'm just ranting about my period for the millionth time while I slog away at my desk and all I want to do, on this fateful Monday morning, is crawl back into bed and cry.

And eat butter cookies. Why butter cookies? I don't know. Period cravings are strange. What I do know is that, at the end of the work day, when I finally get home and open that blue box of Danish butter cookies, I won't find butter cookies. I will find sewing needles. And thread - in at least sixteen different colours.

And somehow that might make me cry even harder.

Have been talking to wedding planners and people both. Everyone has told me that because of licences, hidden costs, outside vendor costs, venue rentals and buying all alcohol from the hotels itself, Thailand ends up coming out more reasonable than any 5 star properties in Goa or Rajasthan. Does anyone have any knowledge about the same?

P.s I'm talking about destination weddings only.

Vendors, please don't DM me, you can publicly comment on the post if you want to promote your business, but I'd rather not receive DMs from strangers.

So im 22F and my boyfriend is 23M we have a 4 year old, yes it was stupid to become teen parents, no I dont regret it and wouldn't change it for the world

&#x200B;

Anyway when I found out i was pregnant my parents were of course a little upset, but all in all ended up being supportive. My Boyfriends parents however, were slightly upset about him being a teen dad, but were more upset that he was becoming the father of a black baby. Long story short we cut them off and agreed his parents would never meet our child.

&#x200B;

Fast forward to now everyone is happy and healthy, my Boyfriends other family (an aunt,grandparents,and 3 siblings) do NOT share his parents beliefs and are wonderful to our child. We haven't seen or spoken yo his parents. Recently at a cookout his Grandma says "even though (Boyfriends parents) were wrong for being racist, they weren't wrong for saying your lives would suck being teen parents" and everyone nodded in agreement and mumbled. I spoke up and said " actually our lives are great, for me, being a teen parent wasn't harder than becoming a parent at any other age."

&#x200B;

Everyone gasped like I had just claimed I hated Beyonce, and started whispering, his sister (who was also a teen mom) stood up and spoke about how difficult it was for her, how she never finished school and how miserable it was and how she couldnt work etc;

&#x200B;

The thing about this is she has only seen her kid maybe 6 times in his whole life, he lives with his dad clear on the other side of the country, so all of these things mentioned werent really because of her having a child

&#x200B;

I reminded her that I graduated HS early, before I even had my daughter, have had a steady job, had parental support etc; And that while i absolutely would nevet reccomend it. I truly had one of the best possible outcomes. But I did tell her I know that wasnt everyone's experience and im sorry she had a bad one. I mentioned nothing surrounding her son or custody. Everyone freaked out again

&#x200B;

She started crying, his grandparents called me cruel and it was a big fallout. Im not seeing how I was wrong here, but please lmk AITA

I am Punjabi and my boyfriend is half UP, half Maharashtrian, just for background.

We're meeting our destination wedding planners and doing a venue recce this weekend, so we've been discussing event flows and rituals. One thing we're getting some pushback on is that I want to split up the haldi and related ceremonies a bit differently from how they're traditionally done.

My idea is:

Day 1 (daytime): Haldi + Mehendi

My own mehendi will already be done, so this would basically be a haldi function with mehendi artists available for any guests who want to get theirs done. To be honest, otherwise it feels like a bit of a pointless standalone event. I want the haldi to be fun and relaxed, where my fiancé and I can actually enjoy ourselves instead of worrying about the clock. The other event that day is the sangeet, which starts later in the evening anyway, so this also gives us time to actually spend time with guests.

My boyfriend also wants all the usual chaos with his friends tearing his kurta, throwing us into the pool, and generally causing mayhem. We both kind of want this function to be pure masti.

Day 2 (wedding day): Chooda and Kaleeras

In Punjabi weddings, we do the chooda ceremony and then friends and sisters tie the kaleeras. There's also the whole fun tradition of dropping the kaleeras on unmarried girls and teasing them about being next.

My thinking is that sangeets tend to run late, and not everyone wants to wake up early the next morning for haldi. If we keep haldi, chooda, kaleeras, getting ready, and everything else on the wedding day, it feels like a lot to cram into one potentially hungover morning. I also want sunset beach pheras, so staying on schedule is pretty important.

These are basically my reasons, but both our planners and some family members seem hesitant because this isn't traditionally how it's done.

Am I missing any practical downsides here? What arguments would you use to convince family that this makes sense? I'm also completely open to hearing why it might be a bad idea, but preferably for reasons other than "tradition" or "that's just how it's done."

I studied abroad and moved back to India. I genuinely don't have too many friends. I have a few who I've stayed in touch with - some more so than others.

There are a few friends on this list who are a no brainer. They are still very close, regardless of whether they're in the same city or not.

There are these 2 (3) childhood friends who were very close but since moving back - they seem to be drifting apart. Now, after their marriages, we barely talk and meet even less even though we live in the same city. I went to both their weddings but they were in the city and hotel rooms weren't given to anyone. Since they're married, I'll have to give 2 rooms (3 maybe - 3rd friend is unlikely to make it) for 2 nights, which is a lot of money.

I have spoken to some of my other friends about this and they have mixed feelings. On one hand, if they're not gonna be a very involved part of the wedding, why invite them. On the other, not inviting them to the wedding is a very clear snub.

I will 100% be inviting them to the party my family does in our city, but perhaps not to the actual wedding.

How do you decide who makes the destination cut?

ETA; Vendors, stop DMing me. When I'm looking, I'll make a vendor post. Until then, I would appreciate advice on the thing I'm asking about. Thanks.