u/Chipsandsalza

We have a neighbor from hell who is a junk collector. His property is filled with trash. He leaves beer cans and cigarettes all over his yard. His windows are covered in duct tape and boarded up. Last year he dug a giant shallow hole in the ground and all the grass/ground around it eroded. It looks like the home of a serial killer.

We recently put up an 8ft fence to avoid having to look at his trash. And now he piles junk 12 feet in the air so we have to see it over the height of our fence. We don’t even entertain anymore because it’s so embarrassing.

We’ve researched city codes and ordinances and he appears to be in violation of many things.

We’ve made many reports to our code enforcement( so have all our neighbors) but they seem almost useless. Their response to me was that “he’s not doing anything criminal”. I mean, yea, but don’t they still enforce property codes?

When I stated that I wanted to extend the height of my fence to block his junk, I was told I’d be fined if I did that.

This has been maddening. Is this the norm?

This is so silly…..

My husband and I had our 10 year anniversary this year. It was the 2nd marriage for both of us. We got married at the courthouse when I was 6 months pregnant. We didn’t do wedding photos other than what my best friend took with her iPhone.

I was thinking of getting a cheap white dress & veil and hiring a photographer to snap photos of us at our favorite dive bar. It would definitely be more kitschy than traditional.

I just can’t tell if I’m being kind of cringey about this. Am I going to look foolish prancing around in a white dress for photos?

I live in the Midwest and make 70k a year. This is a very average salary for my area. I work in healthcare, but I’m on the social service side so the high wages are just not there.

It seems like you should be able to live just fine off of 70K a year in the Midwest. But honestly, you really can’t.

My take home after taxes, health insurance and putting approx 10% to 401k/retirement is only $760/week. And their upgrades to a monthly take home of about $3000. For reference, my inexpensive mortgage with taxes on the home I bought before prices went nuts is about $1300. And that’s right around where most rents are in my area.

I didn’t save enough for retirement in my younger years due to lower pay so I’m trying to catch up now. And honestly, I should really be putting away even more.

It’s just kind of scary to think that I went to college, got a useful degree, have always worked full time and still couldn’t make it on my own unless I had a 2nd job.

Have any other average earning moms come to this realization? I feel like you need $100,000 a year just to get by. And I am not even anywhere near a high cost of living area.

Hoping the Peds OTs can help me…..

I’ve been in the field for 20 years but always in adult inpatient settings. I only briefly interned in Peds when I was in college.

My 4 year old nephew displays some atypical behaviors. His speech is delayed . He vocalizes sounds but doesn’t say any short sentences or simple words. He has a couple sayings that he knows (like no,no,no). I also noticed that instead of saying what he wants, he will take your hand and pull you over to show you the item.

He doesn’t respond most of the time when his name is called. My family interprets this as him not listening or being defiant, but it just seems like he’s in his own world.

He’s constantly running into things and people. It may be some clumsiness but also seems to be sensory seeking. He seems to love jumping onto people/things and smothering himself on them.

There’s other things I’ve seen like meltdowns over small changes/transitions.

My brother, his dad, has a union job and they get free primary care through the union sponsored healthcare facility. I wonder if maybe they don’t see a lot of kids to be able to recognize this sort of thing. My brother and parents (who babysit) are often saying how challenging my nephew is.

Would it be completely out of line to say “hey I’ve noticed some things that are unusual. Did you ever think about having kiddo assessed?”

Just need some guidance of where to go from here.

I work claims for transplant.

I received an under payment for a claim for a standard of care transplant. The response from the payer was that there was a benefit limit of 150% of the Medicare maximum rate for services. This will leave the patient with a bill of approximately $50,000. I was told this decision cannot be appealed.

I reached out to our benefits specialist, who stated they were never informed of a benefit limit.

I did some digging and it sounds like per the ACA, essential services have to be covered with no benefit limits .

This is a self funded plan.

Appreciate any help of where to go from here!

I need help understanding out of network benefits for a Medicare advantage plan as I am helping an elderly neighbor with their medical care.

Their local physician referred them to another facility for a specialized procedure. Their insurance is a Medicare advantage plan. When I called, I was told that the facility was not in network, but they have out of network benefits and are able to receive care at any facility that contracts with Medicare. It sounds like the out-of-pocket max is the same whether the facility is in network or out of network. There would be a slightly higher coinsurance if they go to an out of network facility.

The rep I spoke with said that the plan follows Medicare guidelines for out of network/non-contacted facilities. They couldn’t really explain that any further to me, but from reading it sounds like the plan would reimburse Medicare rates if the facility is not contracted.

Is there anything else that I should be aware of? I just really want to make sure that my neighbor does not get stuck with insane medical bills.

Thank you!

I’m a COTA in the Midwest. I’m employed full time but I still browse job openings just to see what’s out there.

I have seen this influx of COTA jobs posting wages of $25-32/hour. Most of these seem to be SNF but some are hospital positions.

It does seem to be a lot of the same companies posting over and over so I’m guessing these are fake postings or they can’t find anybody.

But damn, why would anybody go to school for this field just to make $25 an hour? Even as a new grad, I couldn’t imagine starting at less than $28-29/ hour these days.

It’s very sad because $25-$32 an hour was very close to the wages when I started in the field about 20 years ago. COTA is not the toughest job in the world, but that just seems very low.

I was supposed to have a hysterectomy today.

I had first discussed this with my doctor at an appointment over a year ago. My doctor was supportive and I’ve had the surgery scheduled for four months. I had all my supplies, FMLA is approved, short-term disability was approved, all my friends and family were aware, I had coverage arranged for my time off from work, arranged my whole summer around this.

And last week Wednesday I had a complete meltdown about it. I lost sleep & spiraled in my head for every waking hour for two days straight. On Friday, I called my doctor’s office completely sobbing that I couldn’t move forward with it. Blessed be the nurse who took my hysterical phone call.

Naturally, I did have some anxiety about the procedure, but it’s like it just completely spiraled into some sort of mania. I spent the last six months prepping for this procedure with doctors appointments, testing reviewing insurance, making arrangements,etc.

I’m sitting here today just feeling deeply embarrassed about myself and wondering what I’m gonna do next.

My perimenopause hormones can be so unpredictable sometimes. Maybe it’s a good thing that I didn’t move forward with it. I’m not sure how I’d handle the recovery.

Has anyone else had any meltdowns lately? Please feel free to share so I don’t feel so awful about myself….

I thought I wanted this but I feel completely overwhelmed.

I’m having doubts that it’s not going to be worth it for me.

My OB suggested the hysterectomy after an endometrial ablation left me with chronic pelvic pain. I really wish I’d have done more research on that before I did it.

I was told the ablation would help my heavy bleeding and there was little chance for side effects. Why would a hysterectomy be any different?

Do I really want to risk possible hormone shifts, sexual dysfunction and whatever else could happen? At first I was really optimistic like the hysterectomy will be my solution but now I feel like I’m just entering new unknown territory. My hormones and mental health is already a little sketchy. The recovery feels very daunting.

Idk. It seems like it helps so many women. I’ve read many good things. But also some bad stuff that stuck with me. I think I’ll feel like I made the wrong choice no matter what I do.

Has anyone else waffled back-and-forth on whether to proceed with their hysterectomy? I’m just wondering if I need to cancel this for now and revisit it at a later date.

This sounds so silly.

I’m scheduled for a hysterectomy in the next couple weeks. I’m not sad about losing the uterus.

But I’m really worried about removing the cervix. I feel like my cervix plays a big part sexual enjoyment. And once it’s gone, I’ll never be able to get it back.

I don’t have a lot of sex. My libido is low. But I’m still trying to decide if this is worth it. I’m scared that my very personal anatomy is going to feel different.

I spoke with my MD about it but she still recommends removing it due to the issues that brought me to hysterectomy in the first place.

Has anyone else had this concern? Or something similar?

I have a hysterectomy coming up to deal with abnormal bleeding and chronic pelvic pain.

In the time leading up to this, I’ve had multiple transvaginal ultrasounds that show a “normal” uterus. That’s probably why I was dismissed for so long.

However, I’ve had previous laparoscopic procedures that show my uterus is retroflexed and has thick adhesions around it.

I feel like I’m out here trying to diagnose myself. Obviously I’ll find out what’s really going on in a few weeks.

Did anyone feel like the ultrasounds didn’t fully capture your issues?

I’m married. We’ve been together for 15 years. We have kids, a house & pets. Him and I both work full time. We aren’t rich at all but comfortable with our combined incomes.

My husband is a good partner in the practical sense. He does his share of responsibilities. There just isn’t a strong emotional connection between us.

This sounds crazy, but he really doesn’t talk to me very much. We go through the day to day with maybe just a few words to each other. We talk about coordinating tasks like who’s gonna get the dog to the vet or pick up dinner but not a lot beyond that. I tried to engage him in conversation, but he just never seems interested. He’s usually watching reels on his phone or watching TV.

It just feels so lonely.

A few weeks ago, I went to eat with a friend, and there were other couples there who genuinely seemed to enjoy each other‘s company-Like laughing together, and having engaged conversations together. If my husband and I go out to eat together, we usually have to sit somewhere near a TV so he can watch whatever sports is on.

But the reality for me is that if I ever wanted to try and find someone that I have a better connection with, I would have to completely blow up my life. I’d have to get a divorce. We’d have to separate all our things, find new housing (which would be a nightmare), disrupt our children’s lives. All that just to jump back into the cesspool of dating and sift through the fuck boys to try and find real love??

We tried counseling a few years ago and honestly, it was just kind of awkward.

Just curious if anyone else has been in a situation like this and what did you do?

Just curious about this.

My uterus appears to be a normal size per the ultrasounds, though my uterus and other organs are stuck together by adhesions. My stomach always looks bloated. I’ve had c sections so I have a bit of a shelf tummy.

I’m getting a hysterectomy next month and I’m hoping my stomach doesn’t just collapse and flap over as I’m already very self conscious about its appearance.

What has your experience been?

I’m scheduled for a hysterectomy in a few weeks.

I’ve had bad periods for years. I’m currently in my early 40s. I had an endometrial ablation last year and my body has kind of hated me ever since I had it done. So my doctor recommended hysterectomy.

I will be leaving my ovaries and removing the uterus and cervix. I already had my tubes removed previously.

I think my biggest fear with the surgery is that I am going to go into early menopause. And somehow shrivel up and look like an old lady. I’ve read some stories of people saying that even when they leave the ovaries, your hormones can be affected. My doctor said that’s not common.

But I was also told that the endometrial ablation would work for me and it turns out it didn’t. I honestly wish I’d never got it and just dealt with my heavy bleeding. So I am skeptical.

My doctor said if my hormones were shifting, she could give me HRT. But I just don’t know if I want to get on that roller coaster ride.

Am I just going to be trading one problem for another? I am very nervous.

Does anyone else have any thoughts?

Seriously. Every time I see one of the posts of someone who just had their hysterectomy, still in the hospital gown, not even left the hospital, they all look so good!

I had an endometrial ablation done last year, which is obviously a much more simple procedure, but I was so completely groggy and out of it I couldn’t even open my eyes, much less take a selfie.

How are you all looking so good?!?

I feel so petty about this but here goes….

Someone I know, who is a terrible person, has latched onto someone whom I am acquaintances with through my career/industry.

The terrible person is someone with a lengthy criminal record, domestic abuser, manipulator and rabid MAGA supporter. This person has harmed/abused people I am close with.

The person they have latched onto is someone who is a kind soul and progressive member of our community. This person runs a business that openly/actively supports LGBTQ+ , human rights, and other social issues. The terrible person is now working at this business and positioning themselves as an activist. The terrible person hasn’t changed. They are just pretending to care to gain access to this person and their circle.

I wanted to send an anonymous letter informing my acquaintance of this terrible person and their past.

I know my acquaintance has worked very hard at the success of her business. With it, she has done wonderful things for the community. And would never want somebody who is secretly MAGA in her space.

Just looking for thoughtful advice or suggestions.

Just wondering if anyone can give me some insight/recommendations on the scenario below.

I am working with a patient who is coming to my hospital for very intensive treatment in the near future.

This person is self-employed. They currently have coverage through their small group insurance policy.

Due to the nature of their illness, they will be closing down their business. From what they have shared, this policy should provide coverage through the end of the year, but will then terminate.

What options do they have for insurance after that? They are not old enough for Medicare. Over the income limit for Medicaid. Their spouse is also self employed. They are hesitant to pursue a marketplace plan due to concerns of a limited network (they receive care at an out of state location as well).

They mentioned looking into individual insurance policies through an insurance broker. Is that a viable option? Cost is not a major concern. But being in an ACA compliant plan would be necessary.

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to share any advice or recommendations you may have.

My hysterectomy is in 2 weeks.

I’m working today and my pelvic cramps feel like painful shock waves through my system. I wish I could go home and lay down. My uterus feels like it’s in knots. My mid section is all puffed out from whatever is going on in there.

The pelvic pain and horrible cramps have literally not stopped since I had the ablation done a year ago. It’s so exhausting. I’m never without pain.

I wish I would have known the true failure rate and side effects of ablation before doing it. I would have gone right to hysterectomy.

I am just so ready to be done with this and hopefully have a pain-free body.

My husband and I are both in our 40s. We have kids and pets. We both work full time.

My husband has been at his job for about 5 years. He spend the last 2 years as a lead in his department. Earlier this year, there was a restructure and he was put into a management role. He’s gotten a lot more responsibility and longer hours. He hates it. He was somewhat discontent with his job before this and had been casually looking.

I’ve tried to help him see the positives like the career boost, learning new skills and a significant raise. No positives for from his perspective. I’ve tried being a realist and saying this is just temporary and we can use the extra $$ for some necessary home projects, boost savings. He can’t see that angle either.

He’s applying for jobs but obviously the market sucks and he hasn’t found a better option.

In this situation, he’s turned into a crabby/nasty version of himself (he was never really a peach to begin with). And I get it. He’s being pushed to work 12 hour days in a high stress job. I know he’s exhausted. I can pretty much handle whatever is needed as far as domestic stuff to give him a break. My hope is that we can at least enjoy our evenings/weekends. Nonetheless, He’s short with me, passive aggressive, gives 1 word responses to me, doesn’t eat. Last night he was in such a mood he wouldn’t t even make eye contact with me. Like damn I get that he’s unhappy but why do I have to absorb his cunty behavior when I’m trying to help?

Have any other women been through a situation like this? I need some perspective/advice on how to push through this stressful situation.

I have my hysterectomy coming up next month. I found out that my uterus and my bladder are basically fused together by thick adhesions.

I’m assuming this is just due to previous multiple C-sections that I’ve had. I’ve never been told it was Endo or anything else.

However, through discussion with my doctor, it sounds like this could be the reason why I feel so much pain, discomfort and pressure through my pelvis and back. even doing targeted exercises for flexibility don’t seem to relieve this feeling of tightness.

For anyone else who has had adhesions, was that feeling relieved after a hysterectomy?