u/Creativered4

EDIT: Ok so I'm pretty sure the brand was "raphil", but I'm struggling with finding anywhere that sells it...
I had this pair of shears I actually got for "free" for helping out a company that was expanding into selling shears, they were partnered with the salon I worked at, and they asked to borrow some of us to help work their booth at an expo. Instead of getting paid, we got to choose a pair of shears to keep.
This was 10 years ago, probably. I didn't realize how much I'd grow to love those shears Q.Q I also don't remember the brand or even the business that was selling the shears!
But they went missing at work about a month or so ago. I'm not 100% what happened, if a customer was using self-bathing and wandered in to my area (sliding glass door between the two rooms with no lock) while I was at lunch or in the bathroom, grabbed the pair thinking they were free to use and accidentally took them (I really don't want to think someone purposefully STOLE them), or if someone decided to borrow them and lost them (I've had problems w/ my nail trimmers and quik stop going missing before), and yes I DO have a lockbox, but it's open while I'm at work, and 99% of the time it's just me in grooming anyways.

My point being, I'm not really sure what I want to get. I've had gators in the past that I wasn't a huge fan of. They just felt really heavy to me.
The old ones were so nice. Lightweight, swivel on the thumb, two holes on the other side. (They were also the prettiest blue. Who knows, maybe someone here will recognize the description and be able to tell me what the brand is lol)
I want something similar so I can get back to quicker scissoring ASAP (guys I kid you not, today I gave two big aussies a tight haircut using my dinky little curves and a pair of chunkers to blend some bits. I was miserable!)
If I had the money, I'd be checking out Shark Fin (My beloved chunkers </3 Need to be re-sharpened because the sharpener my work hired lowkey kinda made them worse Q.Q) but I do not...

I have hEDS and a lot of the symptoms of POTS, so we definitely thought it was POTS, but after a multitude of tests, I was diagnosed with SFN. (She's said a lot of the symptoms and treatment are the same)

Which also makes sense, as I have peripheral neuropathy already in my list of diagnoses, so it makes sense that my nerves are just bad nerves lol

I guess i got a new thing to research. It feels weird being like "these symptoms line up with this" and being so sure that's what's going on, and then it turns out you were wrong.

If anyone has any general advice they'd like to share, or resources they particularly like, please do share! I'm diving into a whole new world of figuring this shit out and managing symptoms and I need all the help I can get.

No books about trans men, please! I AM one and hearing a story about one usually ends up triggering my dysphoria!

I've already got: Boyfriend material (and sequel), Golliaths of Wrestling, Pool of Dreams, red white and royal blue, how to bite your neighbor and win a wager, prince of sorrows, several Alexis hall books (and other similar authors, I think from the same publisher? The ones w/the specific style on the cover), how to save your human omega, charm offensive, slippery creatures, when harry met harry, and some assorted others.

I love fantasy, supernatural, and historical, but slice of life is also good. Always down for humor, but I have to be in the right mood for something sad (haven't finished the prince of sorrows sequel cuz it's too sad :( )

I'm ok with smut, as long as there's no depictions of rape. A gay horror would be neat.

Romance is the main thing I enjoy but if the book is good enough I don't mind if its not the center.

So as backstory, I have diagnosed hEDS and next week I'll get the results back from my neurology tests (pretty good chance of also having POTS. I have all the symptoms apparently.) But I've suffered from stretch, yawn, and bloodwork syncope. 99.999% of the time, it's lightheadedness and nausea, leg tremors if it's stretch syncope sometimes) for so long. I've only ever passed out maybe 3 times? Today was the third. My boss was talking to me and then I stretched and lights out for a moment before I told her what happened and asked what she had just said.

I continued working, but I've been feeling off all day.

It started with my left arm feeling painful and weak (I have neuropathy and cubital tunnel on both sides, but the left side flares up more frequently) and then my left leg gave out (I have a knee injury from last year, so that IS my weak knee). Told a coworker and she told me to smile lol. No stroke! Then came the restless leg and my arms were shaking for a bit. Now I just feel sore, tired, and weak. I'm also limping because my knee is in pain and doesn't want to support my weight.

I just don't know if this is related to anything specific, if this is just normal stuff to expect when this happens. I'd rather be informed so I can be prepared, know my limitations, and focus on getting back to normal ASAP.

EDIT: also is it more likely to have a second faint after the first? Or am I just unlucky? Because now I'm feeling like my HEAT syncope is gonna be triggeres

I'm feeling really depressed and dysphoric right now. For context, I've had stage 1 meta almost 2 years ago, but due to insurance BS, I haven't been able to get stage 2. Meanwhile, I've been living with zero bulge, a misaligned urethra (causing me to just make a mess every time I pee), and genitals that still look the same from multiple angles. It's been very not fun. It's better than before, but it's nowhere near what I need.

So I'm thinking "ok, maybe I need phallo". And I think even though it'll be a bigger recovery area, it'll be better for me, right? However, I'm worried that it won't be possible for me, or even if I do manage to get this, something else will go wrong.
I also have problems with donor sites. I can't harvest anything from my forearms, because I need my nerves intact to do my work (plus I'm already suffering from peripheral neuropathy, so I don't need to make it worse), and I don't really want a large clockable arm scar.
So then there's ALT, which I would be ok with, I guess, but I have dense fat on my thighs, so I'm not sure who would be able to use that donor site.
Finally there's Abdo, which is less common, and you end up with less sensation, which just kinda sucks, because I can't even harvest anything from my forearm like you normally would.

And on top of all that? hEDS shennanigans. Am I going to get wound separation? Is it going to heal right? Will I get feeling? Is this even possible?

So I'm kinda hoping that if there's anyone here who has had phallo, please share your story! If possible, share what surgeon you went to, so maybe I could get an idea of which surgeons have experience with EDS patients.

I'm not doing very good right now, and one of the things that's bothering me is despair about my lack of sex life as well as my inability to have one.

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**I respect my fiancé's sexuality and do not resent or have any negative feelings at all about it. This is going to be about me**

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It'll be 10 years in October, and I love him with all my heart. But one thing that's been getting me down is just that so much in my life has led up to this and it's all shit I can't change, shit that has really fucked with me.

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Before I was w/ my fiance, I was a heavily dissociated, depressed, and emotionally manipulated shell of a person who hated sex, because of unknown dysphoria, but also because my bf at the time sucked at it, was emotionally manipulative and didn't have an understanding of the word "consent". My "no" usually meant "convince me" to him, and he would guilt trip me. I thought i was ace because my libido was so low and I just was not interested. It was a chore. And because this all happened in my late teens and early adulthood, and was my first dip into sexuality, it really just left me stunted. I had trauma and no positive experiences. So it was a learning curve when I got with my partner. I still hadn't figured things out, but he was a bi (now identifies as pan) grey-ace guy, and we had a long distance thing for a while. Sex stuff rarely happened, but when it did he was always respectful and understanding. But I still didn't get to explore. I still didn't really need to, because I thought I was ace. And then I realized im hea I'll dissociating and forced myaelf into my body, I was SO dysphoric, I didn't want that area interacted with AT ALL. Throughout everything, all the transition steps, even though I had realized that I am a homosexual man, with a libido and sexual attraction, I was still stunted, traumatized, and shy. I still am tbh but at least the trauma has improved and I the downstairs situation is slightly better... I showed him my stage 1 meta once it was mostly healed, but that was only the 2nd time he had intentionally seen that part of me since I came out.

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And even then, as much as I want to experience all the gay shit we can do together with 2 dicks.... I'm not happy where my genitals are at. Everything is so buried still, my bulge (from the packer previously) is gone, I feel disgusting because the urethra opening is uneven and with it being so buried, I either make a mess of myself sitting, or the bathroom and myself a little standing. I do what I can to keep clean, but it's still just a gross situation to be in. I feel gross.

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Plus I just don't feel like doing anything will be like a typical gay male sex act. It'll just be... idk very similar to previous anatomy. It doesn't feel like a dick down there. It feels like nullification.

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So add that all up and it's been years since I've had any sort of sex. And again, I don't blame him at all! Sometimes he's not interested and I respect his boundaries!

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But even if i wanted to do anything, it's like, I wouldn't know how to bring it up, how to interact sexually with him or communicate that I am interested in sex. I wouldn't know how to make him feel sexy and wanted, and I worry I would make him feel pressured into having sex, and having been on the other side of that situation, I NEVER want him to experience anything like that.

I can't tell him what I like or want to do because I dont KNOW that. Of the things I know I'd want, I can't ask for, because my anatomy just isn't the anatomy needed for those acts.

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I don't want to open the relationship, because I'm monogamous (he has the capacity for polyamory but we are mono for my sake) and tbh my ex convinced (manipulated) me to open the relationship after he cheated and I just can't do that, even in a consensual and poly way. I also am too shy, dysphoric, and stealth anyways.

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Like, I've been getting on fine by myself , but especially this last week, seeing the guys in porn with their dicks getting hard, frotting and fucking and all that other stuff you do with a penis that isn't sticking out a cm from all the fat and anatomy, and is maybe an inch and a half total, seeing their balls clench, their ejaculation, all that stuff I either will never get or might not get, depending on if I can actually do phallo... it is just making my mental health worse. And I feel so resentful of the hand I was dealt, of this stupid fucking horrible body that just straight up didn't develop, of the surgeon who let me down, all the people responsible for delaying these stages so many times. I resent myself for being a terrible person in a past life to get this life as my karma.

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All of this plus the state of the US and my mental health is just shit.

Link to the mod mail sent to the mods of r/transmanlifehacks (If the subreddit is banned and mod mail wasn't required, delete this line and the link):

https://www.reddit.com/c/chatsgPt932J/s/DsCX1fgcWG

(Was sent 6/12 however the only mod on the sub has not posted on the sub for years)

---

Why I’m requesting r/transmanlifehacks and how I’ll run it: The single mod is completely MIA and has been for a long time. It has become overrun with transphobes and trolls, and people are just being absolutely terrible to each other, because they know there is no moderation. It used to be a good resource for trans men to share passing tips and to get advice on how to pass.
This is an important resource for trans men, and I would like to see it get back to being a good resource. I have requested and revitalized another trans man subreddit in the past, and wish to do the same here. My plan of action is to firstly make a post explaining that the sub is under new management, and let users know what my plans will be going forward (and make a request for volunteers for the mod team), then do a complete overhaul of the rules, go through the queue and modmail to clear it out, and start banning the trolls and transphobes that have been awful to users.

Just wanted to give a heads up, I have started the process to request the sub, since the single person on the mod list has been inactive. Hopefully I can gain access and clean the place up, make sure the trolls and such are gone, and make this a positive and helpful place.

(Also I just noticed... Rules 1-6 are straight up ripped off of the old r/ftm rules. Thanks for that, Kalvin...)

The left joystick on my switch2 is looking rough, which is really frustrating, because I don't play hard, I'm gentle, and the right one looks fine! But there seems to be a spot where the rubber bit wants to come up. I've tried several caps from amazon, and they all fall off. Even the ones that come with adhesives! I put a ghastly set on my switch last night, and this moening after playing for a bit last night, then taking a ride in my backpack this morning, the only one still standing is the right joystick. The adhesive was still on the buttons, so I had to peel those off...

Is there a better quality one I'm missing? Or some other solution to make sure the actual rubber bit on the joycon doesn't come off?

So I've been brainstorming stuff for a fic I'm planning on writing centering on the relationship between Anthony and Asa, and I was thinking about how I want to write them as both similar to Crowley and Aziraphale, but also give them some differences, because these are new people. Souls don't exist in a world without any of the religions stuff.

This led me to a headcannon that I wanted to share with the fandom:
Anthony and Asa aren't the only instances of the two. Not only in this time, but in any time.

So somewhere out there, there's a stern nanny and a kindly gardener who have fallen in love, a pair of lesbians having a meet-cute of their own at a library, a husband and wife in the middle east and the wife has beautiful red hair, a french couple with a shared love for history.

The reasoning behind this headcannon is that there are just some inevitable patterns the universe follows. Like carcinisation, where things just keep evolving into crabs.
(I also just like the idea of all versions of this pair, fandom or cannon, exist or have existed)

I can't believe I have to go down the list and google each candidate's name + "trans rights" to make sure I'm voting for someone who won't screw me over and take away my rights. Even in CA, a very blue state, I still worry that someone will be elected who will just roll over for the current fascist regime or sell us out. I also worry that a republican might get in as well. The one that's doing the best is actively anti-trans and pro-trump.

I'm a human being. I deserve life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness just as anyone else. I deserve to feel safe in my home. I deserve to have access to life saving medical care. I deserve to exist.

Links to fundraisers that are not in the megathread will be removed. This is to keep everything fair for all users. We also do NOT allow fundraising links to any non-trans related fundraiser.

Besides that, this isn't a gofundme sub, this is a marketplace sub, for buying, selling, trading, and giveaways. The megathread is a courtesy since we all know how difficult it can be to raise money for transition.

As a final note: Please be sure to keep an eye out for scams. There is a known group of scammers who will message users from LGBT+ subs to scam money from them by asking for donations. They have a scripted story to pull at your heartstrings. They will say they are in a refugee camp (Always Kamakua or South Sudan) and they are being beaten, abused, set on fire, or any number of things. They will directly ask you for money, and if you try to offer them resources for them, they continue to press for money.
They usually pop up every few months with a new account and the same story, always with a picture of a group of people and a pride flag photoshopped behind them. They have been catching on to us realizing they are a scam, so they will post memes in several LGBT+ subs, just random images found on google, to seem more legit. They have also started using gofundme to gather money.

They are using actual people's struggles to prey on marginalized groups. If you want to help those in need in many African countries, consider donating to one of several African aid groups for LGBT or specifically trans people, because they are able to actually help real people in need.

So please be safe! If someone messages you asking for money, just report their message. Reddit admins are pretty good about banning their accounts.